Unconventional Union: Crafting Unique Wedding Invitation

Writing a wedding invitation is a crucial part of wedding planning. It's one of the first things your guests will see, and it sets the tone for the event. While the invitation should include essential details like the couple's names, wedding date, time, and location, there are many ways to make it unique and creative. This article will provide tips and examples for writing non-traditional wedding invitations, from honouring divorced or deceased parents to adding a personal touch with creative wording and design elements.

Honoring deceased parents

Honouring deceased parents on wedding invitations can be done in a number of ways and is a great way to keep their memory alive on your special day. Here are some suggestions for how to do this:

Including Deceased Parents' Names

One way to honour a parent who has passed away is to include their name on the wedding invitation. This can be done in a few different ways, depending on the format of the invitation and how many parents are being honoured. Here are some examples:

When one parent is deceased:

> [Engaged person's name]

> child of [parent's name] and the late [parent's name]

> [engaged person's name]

> child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]

> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

When both parents are deceased:

> [Engaged person's name]

> child of the late [parent's name] and [parent's name]

> [engaged person's name]

> child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]

> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

When one parent is deceased but the surviving parent has remarried:

> [Engaged person's name]

> child of [parent's name] and [step-parent's name]

> the late [deceased parent's name]

> [engaged person's name]

> child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]

> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

Other Ways to Honour Deceased Parents

If you don't want to include your deceased parent's name on the invitation itself, there are other ways to honour them:

• Memorial candle: Lighting a memorial candle allows other guests to join in with their own remembrances.
• Reserved seat: Reserve a seat at the ceremony and reception for your deceased parent.
• Wedding program: Include a note "in loving memory" of your parent in the wedding program.
• Toast: Raise a toast in honour of your parent during the reception.
• Memorial poem: Include a short memorial poem in the ceremony or reception programme, dedicated to your parent.
• Flowers: Hold a bouquet that reminds you of your deceased parent.

Remember, the most important thing is to go with your heart when considering how to honour a deceased parent. Your guests will appreciate the sentiment, and your parent's memory will be honoured.

Recognising the hosts

Include All Parents' Names

If you want to include the names of both sets of parents as hosts, you can use wording such as "Together with their parents, [bride name] and [groom name] request the pleasure of your company..." This option is a gracious way to recognise both families, regardless of who is contributing financially.

Collaborative Affair

If the wedding is a collaborative affair hosted and paid for by the couple and both sets of parents, you can use wording such as, "Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith, Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children, Olivia Rose and John Michael..." This option allows you to recognise the contribution of all parents involved.

Honour a Deceased Parent

If you want to include the name of a parent who has passed away, you can rearrange the wording to ensure they are still honoured. For example, "Julia French, daughter of Mr Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding..." This option ensures that the deceased parent is still acknowledged and honoured.

Divorced Parents

If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can include them all by keeping each parent on a separate line. For example, "Dr Vance and Elizabeth Gregory and Mr James Abner and Lydia Abner and Mr Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children, Amy Abner and Charles Hyland..." This option allows for the recognition of all parents, even in cases of divorce or remarriage.

Collaborative Effort with Families

If you want to recognise the collaborative effort and support of both families, you can use wording such as, "Olivia Rose Smith and John Michael Reyes, together with their parents, Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith, and Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes, request the honour of your presence at their wedding..." This option highlights the unity and support of both families.

Remember, these are just a few ideas to get you started. Feel free to personalise and customise your wedding invitations to reflect your unique style and circumstances.

Conveying tone and formality

Conveying the tone and formality of your wedding is an important part of your invitation. This is achieved through various elements of your invitation, from the wording to the design.

Wording

The wording of your invitation is the most important aspect when conveying tone and formality. The tone of your invitation will depend on the type of wedding you are having. Is it formal, casual, creative, modern, or simple?

• "The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of..."
• "You are cordially invited to celebrate the marriage of..."
• "We invite you to share in our joy and request your presence at the wedding of..."

For a more casual wedding, you could use wording such as:

• "You are invited to the wedding of..."
• "Your presence is requested at the wedding of..."
• "Kindly join us at the wedding of..."

Design

The design of your invitation will also help convey the tone and formality of your wedding. The style of your invitation should match the style of your wedding. For example, if your wedding is formal, you might choose classic invitations with script, foil elements, and sparkle. On the other hand, if your wedding is more casual, you could opt for a rustic invitation with muted colours and simple typography.

Other design elements that can help convey tone and formality include monograms, symbols, borders, patterns, and engagement photos.

Additional Tips

• Be concise: Too much text can overwhelm your guests and take away from the design of your invitation. Only include the essential details.
• Consider the host: Traditionally, the host of the wedding is the person(s) paying for it. It is respectful to list anyone contributing to your big day on your invites, either by name or with a short line like "together with their families."
• Consider formality: The wording and design of your invitation should match the formality of your wedding. For example, if you want your guests to wear black tie, opt for traditional wording and a formal design.
• Include an insert card: Certain pieces of information don't belong on a wedding invitation, such as registry details. Instead, provide guests with a link to your wedding website on a separate insert card.
• Dress code: Including dress code information is optional but can be helpful for guests. If you don't include it on the invitation, guests will infer the dress code based on the formality of the invitation.

RSVP instructions

RSVP cards are a great way to get an accurate headcount for your big day. Here are some tips to ensure your guests have all the information they need to respond to your invitation:

• Set an RSVP deadline: It is standard to set your RSVP deadline for three to four weeks before the wedding date. This will give you enough time to provide your caterer with a final headcount, which is usually needed about a week before the wedding.
• Include specific instructions: On the RSVP card, be sure to include specific instructions about the number of guests they are allowed to bring and how they should respond.
• Provide a stamped envelope: If you expect guests to mail back their RSVP cards, it is courteous to include a stamped, addressed envelope.
• Offer an online RSVP option: For added convenience, you can include your wedding website URL or a QR code linking to the site on the RSVP card. This will allow guests to respond electronically.
• Meal choices: If you are offering meal choices for your reception, the RSVP card is a great way to collect your guests' preferences and any dietary restrictions.
• Song requests: You can also get your guests excited by asking them to recommend a song for the wedding playlist!
• Other details: If you need to include additional details such as accommodations, directions, or attire, you can include a separate details card with your invitation.

Remember to keep the wording on your RSVP cards consistent with the tone and style of your wedding invitation. For formal invitations, traditional RSVP wording such as "Accepts with Pleasure" or "Regretfully Declines" is often used. For casual invitations, you can personalize the RSVP cards with more informal language.

Recognising the couple's parents

Host Line

Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are named at the top of the invitation. However, including both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option, regardless of who is contributing financially. Here are some examples:

• "Mr. & Mrs. John Hart and Mr. & Mrs. Benjamin Jones invite you to share in their joy at the marriage uniting their children Denna Faith and Harper Maxine."
• "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."
• "Together with their families, Olivia Rose Smith and John Michael Reyes invite you to their wedding..."

Honouring a Deceased Parent

If you want to include the name of a parent who has passed away, you can rearrange the wording. Here is an example:

"Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding..."

Divorced or Remarried Parents

If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, list each parent on a separate line. Keep stepparents on the same line as their partners. Here is an example:

"Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory, and Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner, and Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland."

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of listing the woman's name first does not apply. You can choose to list the names alphabetically or based on what looks best with the invitation design. Here is an example:

"Love is in the air! Chloe Marie Sinclair & Matthew James Denton have the honour of announcing their marriage..."

These suggestions provide a starting point for recognising the couple's parents in a non-traditional wedding invitation. Feel free to adapt and personalise the wording to fit your unique situation and style.

Frequently asked questions