Best Man Speech: Wiki-Style Guide For Groomsmen

Being chosen as the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important tasks is delivering a memorable speech that celebrates the groom, entertains the guests, and shows your support for the happy couple.

A best man's speech should be a blend of humour and sentimentality. It should be well-structured, with a light-hearted icebreaker or joke to start, an introduction, messages from absent friends and family, anecdotes about the groom, words of wisdom, and a toast to the couple. It should also pay homage to the bride and acknowledge the bridal party.

The ideal length for a best man's speech is around seven minutes. It's important to keep it concise and engaging, without rushing through it.

To write a great best man's speech, it's a good idea to start by writing down your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. Using a template can also be helpful to give you an idea of what to include. The opening and closing lines are particularly important, so try to make them compelling and memorable.

Public speaking can be nerve-wracking, but with careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery, you can give a best man's speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons.

Icebreakers and jokes

The icebreaker is an important part of your best man's speech. It not only warms up the guests but also calms your nerves. It sets a friendly tone for what's to come. Here are some ideas for icebreakers and jokes:

• "I was taught by my parents that if I had nothing good to say about someone to sit down and be quiet... (Sit down).
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words—it's very touching that you still decided to come."
• "I've been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately, last night I slept like a baby—I woke up crying every two hours."
• "I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on how long the best man speech should last. I put my money on 45 minutes, so make yourselves comfortable!"
• "This speech won't contain anything embarrassing about the groom. Instead, I'll refer only to the kind and funny side of their character. Thank you and goodnight."
• "I'd like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man [chuckle]."
• "All jokes aside, this is a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom look like a movie star couple together. And if you didn't taste the cake, you are missing out!"
• "I am so grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Zimerman for hosting us here today, and thank you to the bride and groom for inviting me to be part of their special day."
• "I'd like to start by congratulating the bride and groom." [Pull a piece of toasted bread from your pocket and give it to them].
• "The bride and groom asked me not to share embarrassing stories or crude jokes during my speech... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening, everyone."
• "I'd like to start by congratulating the groom for his excellent taste in choosing the best man."
• "There are friends, and there is family, but friends also become family. This is so true for [Groom] and me. We've been best friends since we were X years old, and I've always considered him my brother."
• "There's an old Irish proverb that says a good friend is like a four-leaf clover—hard to find and lucky to have. I think that's true. Good friends are hard to find, and I'm lucky to have called [Groom] my best friend for the last X years."
• "I've heard that the best relationships come from the foundation of a deep friendship. Experts say that laughter, mutual respect, and enjoying each other's company are the ingredients for a long-lasting, joyful marriage. After knowing [Groom] and [Bride] for X years, there is no doubt in my mind that they will make a great pair."
• "In Good Will Hunting, Robin Williams said, 'It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect as long as they are perfect for each other.' Anyone who has seen [Groom] and [Bride] together can agree that this is true for them. I haven't seen a perfect pair, and I'm happy to be part of this celebration of their love."

Introducing yourself

The first thing to do when giving a best man's speech is to introduce yourself. This is your chance to warm up the crowd and give them some context on who you are and how you know the groom. It's best to keep this part light and fun, and avoid any lengthy or awkward introductions. Simply state your name and your relationship to the groom. For example:

> "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting me yet, my name is Chris, and I am officially Paul's second best man."

> "I'm Jake, [groom's name]'s best friend. I've known him since the seventh grade, and I've known [bride's name] ever since their second date."

> "I'm Danny, the groom's older brother. For those who don't know me, I've known [groom's name] all his life, and I've known [bride's name] since their first date at the school dance."

It's important to remember that the best man's speech is primarily about the groom (and the bride), so don't spend too much time on your introduction. A brief and simple intro will do, and then you can move on to the more meaningful parts of your speech.

If you're feeling nervous, it's okay to acknowledge it with a light-hearted joke:

> "I know public speaking isn't my strong suit, so I'll keep this short and sweet. For those who don't know me, I'm John, the groom's older brother."

Remember, the guests are there to celebrate the happy couple, so they don't need to hear a long-winded introduction about yourself. Keep it brief, and you'll be able to create a more impactful speech that celebrates the newlyweds.

Keeping it Light and Fun

While it's important to be yourself and inject your personality into the speech, avoid turning your introduction into a stand-up comedy routine. A little humour can go a long way, but don't feel pressured to be the funniest person in the room. Instead, focus on sharing a funny anecdote or a light-hearted joke about the groom. This will help you connect with the audience and set the tone for the rest of your speech.

For example:

> "I'm Dave, the best man, and for those who don't know me, I've been friends with the groom since our university days. I still remember the first time I met [groom's name]. It was during Fresher's Week, and he was wearing a bright pink wig and a T-shirt that said, 'Will dance for cake.' I knew right then that we'd be friends for life."

> "My name is Brian, and I'm the groom's little brother. Growing up, my biggest claim to fame was being [groom's name]'s annoying little sibling. I used to follow him around everywhere, and he'd try to lose me by offering me ice cream or hiding in the neighbour's garden. Luckily, he never succeeded, and I got to witness first-hand how kind, patient, and loyal he is."

Keeping it Sincere

While humour is important, it's also crucial to be sincere in your introduction. This is your chance to express your gratitude for being chosen as the best man and to share what the groom (and his new wife) mean to you. A sincere introduction will help you connect with the audience and set the tone for a heartfelt speech.

For example:

> "My name is Mark, and it is an honour to stand here today as my brother's best man. [Groom's name], you've always been there for me through thick and thin. From helping me with my homework to offering a shoulder to cry on after a bad breakup, you've been the best brother anyone could ask for. I'm so happy to stand here today and celebrate your wedding."

> "I'm Joe, the groom's best friend. [Groom's name], you've been a constant source of support and laughter in my life. From late-night study sessions to crazy road trips, we've created so many memories together. I'm so grateful to have you as a friend, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be standing here for today."

By keeping your introduction sincere and heartfelt, you'll be able to create a meaningful connection with the audience and set the tone for a speech that celebrates the happy couple.

Reading out messages

One way to make your best man speech memorable is to incorporate messages from those who couldn't be there. This can be a fun and heartfelt way to include absent friends and family in the celebration. Here are some tips and ideas for reading out messages at a wedding as the best man:

Collect Messages in Advance

If you know that you want to include this element in your speech, start by reaching out to people who are unable to attend the wedding. This could include friends or relatives who live far away, those with health issues, or anyone with other commitments. You could send emails, texts, or even letters to these individuals, explaining that you would like to include a message from them in your speech. Ask them to share a memory, a piece of advice for the couple, or simply their congratulations and well-wishes. Give them a deadline to respond by, allowing yourself enough time to compile the messages before the wedding day.

Curate and Edit the Messages

Once you have received responses, go through them and select the most meaningful, entertaining, or relevant messages to include in your speech. You may want to edit or condense some of the messages for length or clarity, especially if you have a lot of responses. Try to choose a variety of messages that showcase different aspects of the couple's relationship and the impact they have had on others' lives. Depending on the tone of your speech, you might select messages that are heartwarming, humorous, or a mix of both.

Incorporate the Messages Seamlessly

When crafting your speech, find a natural place to transition into reading the messages. You might say something like, "Unfortunately, not everyone could be here with us today, but I wanted to share a few messages from those who are thinking of us from afar." You can then begin reading the messages, perhaps grouping them by theme or alternating between funny and sentimental notes. If the messages are anonymous, you can simply introduce each one with a brief description, such as "Here's a message from a friend in Australia" or "This next one is from a relative who couldn't be here."

Engage the Audience

As you read the messages, remember to maintain eye contact with the audience and speak clearly. You might want to have the messages printed out or written down, so you don't need to look at your phone or read from a screen. Take your time and pause between messages to allow the impact of each one to land. You can also use hand gestures and vary your tone of voice to keep the audience engaged. If there is a particularly funny or touching message, feel free to react to it yourself; smile, laugh, or even get a little emotional. This will help the audience connect with the messages and create a more intimate atmosphere.

Finish with a Toast

After reading the messages, transition back into your own words and wrap up your speech with a heartfelt toast to the newlyweds. Thank the absent well-wishers for their contributions and raise a glass to the happy couple. This will leave a lasting impression on the audience and ensure that those who couldn't be there feel included in the celebration.

Storytelling and anecdotes

The storytelling part of your best man speech is the most important section. It's your chance to take the audience on a journey through your friendship with the groom and give an overview of who he is as a person. If you've known him since school, you can walk down memory lane with some childhood stories. Perhaps there was a silly reason he always ended up in detention? Or maybe he always stuck up for you against the school bullies?

Mix up fun stories with happy memories. This is not about humiliating the groom to get a laugh. It's about showing why the couple is meant for each other and why the groom's personality is perfect for the bride.

If you're feeling nervous about all the attention being on you, you can use some props to help weave your story. You could put together a slideshow of photos – maybe some from childhood, and some funny more recent shots, too. Or you can pick a theme – if they are known for always wearing the same jumper or shirt, get the photographic evidence out.

Do they always do the same pose in pictures? Show the guests! Another great prop idea is to write a humorous rhyme, or if you have the singing skills, a song or rap. You could even read a mock school report or CV, with funny and ridiculous achievements.

When telling stories in your best man's speech, it's important to stay true to yourself. There's no need to play a role just because you're standing in front of an audience. For instance, if you're not known as the comedian among your friends, you shouldn't feel compelled to crack a series of jokes. Similarly, if sentimentality isn’t your usual style, don’t feel obligated to make your speech overly emotional. Keeping things light and straightforward is perfectly acceptable.

Your authenticity will resonate more genuinely with both the newlyweds and their guests, making your speech more impactful and memorable.

What to Include in Your Stories

• A little bit of embarrassment: Whether it’s you, the groom, or a mutual friend, it helps to poke fun at someone in the story. If you fear being offensive, the best person to joke about is yourself.
• Audience member references: You can get major bonus points if you bring wedding guests into the storytelling moment. You might say, “Mom, you might want to close your ears on this one!” or, “Brian, we’re talking about you!”
• Sensory details: What did the scenery look like? What were the prominent smells, sounds, and tastes at the moment? A great story should make the audience feel like they were with you. Don’t forget to mention the frigid cold lake you jumped into or the outrageously spicy food that left you both panting and crying for water.
• A final punchline: Ideally, the best story ends with a shocking moment or funny line. It should leave the audience laughing, crying, surprised, or even gasping. For example, in an epic adventure story about you and the groom on a hunting trip, you may end with, “Just as the shark was about to bite the line, Joe reeled in the massive bluefin and yelled, ‘I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat!'”

Advice and compliments

The best man's speech is a perfect opportunity to offer some light-hearted advice to the newlyweds. If you are married, you and your partner could come up with some golden rules for a happy marriage. If not, you could ask friends or family members for their tips, or even ask the parents or grandparents of the couple for their advice, based on their years of experience. You could also offer some fun advice from famous couples on TV or in movies. For example, a quote from Grey's Anatomy: "To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running – ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever."

You should also compliment the bride and the couple's relationship. This is especially important if you haven't spent much time with the bride. You could say something like: "Though I haven't spent as much time with Mary as I would have liked, I could tell right away that she was right for Jeff." Or, if you know the bride well, you could mention how the groom has changed for the better since meeting her: "After Jeff met Mary, his tendency to over-analyse and worry about everything began to disappear."

Finally, you could offer some compliments to the bridal party, and thank the bridesmaids for their role on the day and in the run-up to the wedding.

Frequently asked questions