The Best Man: A Woman's Unique Perspective

It is becoming increasingly common for brides and grooms to break with tradition and have a member of the opposite sex as their best man or maid of honour. This can be a tricky situation to navigate, especially when it comes to planning a bachelor or bachelorette party, getting ready on the day of the wedding, and deciding what to wear. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide who they want in their wedding party, and it is important to be respectful of their choices. While it may take some extra planning and communication, having a woman as the best man can be a fun and unique way to celebrate the couple's special day.

What to call a female best man

It is becoming more common for brides and grooms to break with tradition and have a member of the opposite sex as their best man or maid of honour. While this is becoming more accepted, it can still cause confusion over what to call a female best man.

The most common term for a female best man is 'best woman'. This is a direct and simple way to indicate the role of the woman in the wedding party. She would still be considered one of the groomsmen. The equivalent term for a male on the bride's side is 'man of honour'.

Some people prefer to use more creative terms, such as 'groom's woman', 'best lady', 'best maid' or 'matron'. One person chose to call their female best man 'best man without a penis'!

Another option is to refer to the wedding party as a whole as the 'bride's attendants' and 'groom's attendants', avoiding the need to specify gendered roles.

The female best man can also be included in the bridal party photos, either on the groom's side or with the bridesmaids. It is worth discussing this with the photographer so they are aware and can ensure she is not left out of key pictures.

The female best man can wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen, or a female tuxedo or suit in a matching style and colour. Alternatively, she could wear a dress that matches the bridesmaids' outfits if she is close to the bride.

It is also becoming more common for women to be present at stag parties, or 'hag dos' or 'sten dos', and for men to be at hen parties.

What to dress her in

Deciding what your best woman should wear on your wedding day is a fun and exciting task. Here are some ideas to consider:

Female Tuxedo or Suit

Your best woman might feel most comfortable in a tuxedo or suit. You can choose female styles made to fit her perfectly. She can either match the style and colouring of the other groomsmen or coordinate with the maid of honour.

Dress Similar to the Bridesmaids

If your best woman prefers a dress, she can wear one in the same colour as the groomsmen's suits. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing navy suits with burgundy accessories, she could wear a navy dress with burgundy shoes. Alternatively, she could wear a dress by the same designer as the bridesmaids but in a colour that matches the groomsmen.

Dress Matching the Colour Code of the Groomsmen

Your best woman could wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen. This option ensures she feels included in the groom's party while also standing out as the best woman.

Suit of Her Own

Your best woman might prefer to wear a suit that complements the bridesmaids' dresses. For example, if the bridesmaids are wearing maroon, she could wear a maroon blazer with matching accessories.

Accessories

Bouquets and boutonnieres can also help coordinate your best woman with the rest of the wedding party. Choose colours or varieties that tie in with the bridesmaids and groomsmen to create a cohesive look.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure your best woman feels comfortable and included. Discuss the options with her and decide on an outfit that makes her feel confident and excited to stand by your side on your special day.

Bachelor party planning

Planning a bachelor party as a woman can be a fun and unique experience. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Inviting the Right People

It's important to discuss the guest list with the groom-to-be. Traditionally, bachelor parties are attended by the groomsmen, who are usually close friends and relatives of the groom. However, don't feel limited by tradition! The groom may want to include other friends or even female guests, turning the typical "stag do" into a "sten do"!

Choosing a Location

When selecting a location for the bachelor party, consider the groom's interests and hobbies. Does he enjoy outdoor activities, sports, or a particular type of food or drink? You can plan the party at a venue that aligns with his interests or create a fun itinerary that involves visiting multiple locations.

Planning Activities

The activities you plan for the bachelor party should reflect the groom's personality and what he enjoys doing. Some popular options include:

• Bar hopping or visiting breweries/wineries
• Playing golf, bowling, or other sports
• Organising an outdoor adventure like hiking, camping, or water sports
• Attending a concert or comedy show
• Having a game night or visiting an arcade
• Hosting a dinner or barbecue

Remember, the activities don't have to be wild or extravagant. The groom will appreciate any effort you put into creating a memorable night with his closest friends.

Handling the Costs

Traditionally, the groom covers the expenses for his bachelor party. However, it has become more common for the costs to be shared by all the participants, excluding the groom, who becomes the guest of honour. Discuss this with the guests beforehand to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Gifts and Mementos

As the best woman, you may want to organise a special gift or memento for the groom. This could be something personalised that reflects your shared history or an inside joke. It's a thoughtful way to show your support and celebrate his upcoming marriage.

Communication is Key

Throughout the planning process, maintain open communication with the groom and the guests. Ensure that everyone is comfortable with the chosen activities and location, and be accommodating of any special requests or requirements.

Remember, the most important aspect of a bachelor party is celebrating the groom and his upcoming nuptials. With a bit of creativity and organisation, you can plan a fantastic event that he and the guests will remember fondly!

Grooming and getting ready

So, you're a woman who has been asked to be best man at a wedding. Exciting! Now, it's time to get ready for the big day.

Firstly, you'll need to decide what to wear. This is very much dependent on what you feel comfortable in. You could wear a female tuxedo or suit, which would normally match the style and colouring of the other groomsmen. Alternatively, you could wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen. If you're close to the bride, you could wear similar clothes to the other bridesmaids.

Next, you'll need to decide whether to get your hair and makeup done. If the other bridesmaids are getting their hair and makeup done, it would be a nice gesture to join them, but it's not compulsory. You could also get your hair and makeup done separately and then join the groomsmen for photos before the ceremony.

On the day, you'll need to assist the groom and be their right-hand person. This might include having the wedding rings ready for the ceremony, helping guests find their places, and providing practical assistance with gifts, luggage, or any unexpected complications. You'll also need to prepare a speech to be read at the reception.

Finally, don't forget to enjoy the day and celebrate the happy couple!

Photo symmetry

When a woman is chosen to be the best man at a wedding, it presents a unique opportunity to create visually striking and meaningful photos with a focus on symmetry. This role reversal breaks traditional wedding norms and creates a powerful statement about the bond between the bride and her female best friend. To capture this special dynamic, photographers can employ various techniques to create visually appealing and balanced compositions that highlight this non-traditional wedding party configuration.

One approach to achieving photo symmetry is to emphasize mirroring and reflections. This can be done by positioning the female best man and the bride in a way that creates reflective symmetry. For example, have them stand side by side, with similar poses and angles, creating a mirror image of each other. This emphasizes their equal standing and the unique dynamic of their relationship. Utilize reflective surfaces, such as mirrors or even a calm body of water, to capture intriguing reflections that showcase their unity and the special bond they share.

Another technique is to focus on compositional balance. Frame the shots in a way that evenly distributes visual weight between the female best man and the bride. This can be achieved by ensuring that they occupy similar amounts of space within the frame, or by using leading lines or symmetry in the background to draw attention to their equal presence. For instance, position them symmetrically on either side of a striking architectural feature, such as a grand staircase or a symmetrical archway, to create a sense of balance and unity in the composition.

Symmetrical framing can also be employed to great effect. Experiment with framing the subjects within shapes or structures that emphasize symmetry, such as circles, triangles, or squares. This can be achieved through creative use of backdrops, such as arches, doorways, or even natural formations like a circular cave entrance. By placing the female best man and the bride within these symmetrical frames, you create a sense of unity and emphasize their equal importance in the scene.

Frequently asked questions