Crafting Wedding Invites: When Parents Aren't Involved

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky task, especially if you're facing a delicate situation, such as divorced or deceased parents. Here are some tips to help you navigate the process and create elegant and clear invitations.

Firstly, the host line is where you name the hosts of the event. If you're hosting the wedding yourself, this line can be omitted. Traditionally, the bride's parents are listed first, followed by the groom's parents. However, if both sets of parents are contributing, you can use phrases like together with their parents or together with their families.

If you want to honour a deceased parent, you can include them alongside the couple's name, for example: Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez and the late Robert Martinez.

The attendance request line lets guests know what they're being invited to. You can use phrases like request the honour of your presence for a religious ceremony or request the pleasure of your company for a non-religious one.

The couple's names usually follow in larger text. For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically comes first, and if the bride's parents are listed, only her first and middle name are used. For same-sex couples, names can be listed alphabetically or based on design preference.

The date and time are usually spelled out in full for formal invitations, while modern invites often use numerical figures.

Finally, include the location with the venue's name and full address, including the state and zip code. If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, simply add reception to follow.

Remember, clarity is key, so provide essential details and leave the rest for insert cards or your wedding website.

Honouring a deceased parent

During the Wedding Speeches

• Read a Poem of Remembrance: Poetry helps express the feelings and experiences that identify us. You can read a self-written poem, a modern poem, or a classic piece of poetry. Printing or writing out the poem can ensure you have the entire poem with you when it's time to read it.
• Toast Your Loved One: Encourage your family, friends, and guests to honour your loved one by proposing a toast in their honour. Consider toasting with their favourite drink to further commemorate them.
• Read a Letter: If you have a letter from your loved one, consider reading it aloud during your wedding. Alternatively, you can write your own letter, explaining what their love meant to you and why you want them to be part of your wedding day. Reading the letter privately while getting ready for the day is also an option.
• Hold a Moment of Silence: Taking a few moments to quietly reflect and honour your loved one is a simple yet powerful way to incorporate their memory into your special day. This can be done privately or with your partner and guests.
• Say a Prayer or Share a Quote: Include your loved one's memory in your wedding speech through a prayer, quote, song lyrics, or even a quote from a TV show that reminds you of them.

During the Ceremony

• Leave a Chair Open: Leaving a chair open in the front row can represent your loved one's presence and their memory.
• Light a Memorial Candle: Lighting a candle is a beautiful symbol of unity in many cultures. To honour your loved one, consider lighting a candle at the start of the ceremony to signify their spirit being present.
• Write a Message in the Programs: If you're printing a program for your wedding, you can include a short tribute to your loved one. It can be as simple as mentioning their name with the words "remembering" or "in remembrance."
• Carry a Memento: Carry or wear a memento of your loved one, such as their cufflinks, handkerchief, or an heirloom piece of jewellery. This is a unique way to keep them close throughout the day.
• Honour Their Memory During the Ceremony: Discuss with the officiant about honouring your loved one's memory during the ceremony. They may suggest reading quotes, passages, or other tributes that are appropriate for the occasion.

During the Reception

• Play Their Favourite Song: Playing your loved one's favourite song is a wonderful way to start the celebrations and keep their memory close.
• Create a Commemorative Presentation: Share slideshows, videos, and memories of your loved one during the reception. Include photos, family photos, and special memories of your time together.
• Visit Their Grave: Visit your loved one's grave before or after the wedding to share your joy and let them be a part of the festivities. You can go alone or with your spouse, leaving a bouquet of flowers behind.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to honour a deceased parent at your wedding. Do what feels right and appropriate, and always involve those closest to the deceased in discussions to ensure everyone's comfort.

Divorced parents

Wedding Invitation Wording for Divorced Parents

Including your divorced parents on your wedding invitation can be tricky, but there are some standard etiquette rules you can follow to help you navigate this delicate situation. Here are some instructive examples to guide you:

Bride's Divorced Parents Hosting

If the bride's divorced parents are hosting and not remarried, the invitation wording can be as follows:

> Ms. Sarah Smith

> Mr. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

If the bride's mother has remarried, include her new married name to prevent confusion:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

Groom's Divorced Parents Hosting

Similarly, if the groom's divorced parents are hosting and not remarried, list their names separately:

> Ms. Emily Smith

> Mr. Robert Smith

> request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son

> Mr. Robert Smith Jr.

If the groom's father has remarried, include his new married name:

> Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones

> Mr. Robert Smith

> request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son

> Mr. Robert Smith Jr.

Both Parents Hosting

When both the bride's and groom's divorced parents are hosting, list each parent on a separate line:

> Ms. Sarah Smith

> Mr. John Smith

> together with

> Ms. Emily Smith

> Mr. Robert Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Mr. Robert Smith Jr.

If any of the parents have remarried, include their new married names:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. John Smith

> together with

> Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones

> Mr. Robert Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Mr. Robert Smith Jr.

Including Stepparents

If you want to include a stepparent on your invitation, list them together with their spouse on the same line:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. John Smith

> and Mrs. John Smith-Stepmother

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

Modern Variations

These days, it is also common for couples to host their weddings themselves or together with their parents. Here are some examples of more modern invitation wording:

> Together with their families,

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Avery June Smith

> invite you to share in their joy

Or, if the couple is hosting with just the bride's divorced parents:

> Together with Amelia Rose Manning

> and

> Mr. Patrick Lewis Manning

> Ms. Margo Luanne Manning

> requests the pleasure of your company at their wedding celebration

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you should do what feels right for your unique family situation. Be mindful of old wounds and try to keep the invitation uncluttered.

No children

When it comes to addressing the topic of "no children" in your wedding invitations, here are some detailed instructions and suggestions to ensure your message is clear and tactful:

Wording and Etiquette

It is essential to strike a balance between clarity and tact when conveying that your wedding will be an adults-only affair. Here are some strategies to achieve this:

• Double Envelopes: Consider using double envelopes, which include an outer envelope addressed to the parents and an inner envelope addressed to all invited guests in the household. This approach ensures that the adults in the family are specified as the invitees, without explicitly stating "no children."
• Outer Envelope Only: If you prefer not to use double envelopes, you can simply address the outer envelope to the parents. You may use formal names and addresses, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." This method conveys that only the adults are invited without directly stating it.
• RSVP Card Specification: Another option is to add a line on your RSVP card that indicates the number of seats reserved for each household. For example, "Kindly reply by [date]. We have reserved _ seat(s) in your honor." This approach allows guests to understand the number of expected attendees from their household.
• Wedding Website: A wedding website provides an excellent opportunity to clarify that your wedding is adults-only. Include a website card with your invitation suite to direct guests to this information. This approach ensures that your invitation remains concise while providing additional details online.

Sample Wording

• Outer Envelope Addressed to Parents:
• Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
• Inner Envelope Addressed to Invited Guests:
• John and Sarah Smith
• RSVP Card with Seat Specification:
• "Kindly reply by the twenty-third of May. We have reserved _ seat(s) in your honor."
• Wedding Website Card:
• Include a card with your invitation suite that directs guests to your wedding website, where you can specify that the event is adults-only.

Remember, the key is to maintain a polite and respectful tone while conveying your wishes for an adults-only celebration.

Couple hosting

If you and your partner are hosting the wedding, you can skip the host line and go straight into a warm and welcoming introduction, such as:

> Together with full hearts

> With hearts full of love and joy

This is where you extend the invitation to attend your wedding, and you can use it to set the tone for your celebration. Here are some examples:

> "The honour of your presence is requested"

> "The pleasure of your company is requested"

> "Invite you to celebrate with them"

> "Would love for you to join them"

The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text (and often in a fancy typeface). Traditionally, the bride's name comes first, but this is not necessary. For same-sex couples, you can list the names alphabetically or based on what looks best with the invitation design.

> The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of

> [Bride] and [Groom]

> Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four at [venue name and address]

> Reception to follow

Or:

> [Bride] and [Groom]

> Invite you to share in their joy at their wedding

> Saturday, August 17, 2024 at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address]

> Reception to follow

If you are hosting both the ceremony and the reception, you can include this information on a separate reception card.

Both parents hosting

If both sets of parents are hosting the wedding, the invitation should include their names. The bride's parents' names are typically listed first, followed by the groom's parents' names. Here are some examples of how to word wedding invitations when both sets of parents are hosting:

Formal Wording

When using formal wording, it is customary to spell out everything, including dates and times. The full names of the hosts and individuals getting married should be included, with middle names for very formal weddings. Here are some examples:

• Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, together with Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons, request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children, Jack Smith and Mason Timmons, Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four, at half after four in the afternoon, at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow.
• Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith, together with Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children, Olivia Rose Smith and John Michael Reyes, Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four, at half after four in the afternoon, at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow.

Informal Wording

Informal or casual wedding invitation wording is often more conversational and may use numbers to convey the date and time. Here are some examples:

• Kenzie and Jennifer Smith, together with Mark and Sally Reyes, invite you to share in the joy of the marriage of their children, Olivia Rose Smith and John Michael Reyes, Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon, at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow.
• Jack Alexander Smith and Mason Jacob Kim, together with their parents, Jack and Eliza Smith and Thomas and Elizabeth Kim, invite you to their wedding, Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon, at [venue name and address]. Dinner and dancing to follow.

Modern Wording

Modern wedding invitations often feature a more contemporary layout, with the couple's names front and centre. The language can be more relaxed and playful. Here's an example:

Jack Smith and Mason Kim, together with their parents, Jack and Eliza Smith and Thomas and Elizabeth Kim, would love to eat wedding cake with you to celebrate their wedding, Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon, at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow.

Simple Wording

Simple wedding invitation wording is short and sweet, conveying the essential details in a concise manner. Here's an example:

Jack Smith and Mason Kim, together with their parents, Jack and Eliza Smith and Thomas and Elizabeth Kim, invite you to their wedding, Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon, at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow.

Frequently asked questions