Rhiannon Hendricks
When it comes to wedding gifts, it can be tricky to know how to politely ask for money. Traditionally, wedding gifts were physical items to help set up the couple's new life together, but nowadays, many couples prefer cash donations to put towards their future, such as a honeymoon or a house deposit. The wedding invitation is not the place to ask for money, but you can include a link to your wedding website, which is now the go-to place for couples to provide details about their gift preferences. When it comes to wording, it's important to be tactful, warm, appreciative and clear. You could say something like: We are saving up for our first home together, so if you would like to give a gift, a contribution to our house deposit would be warmly appreciated.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wording | Be straightforward, polite, warm, light-hearted, and relaxed. Avoid mentioning gifts in your wedding invitations as it is considered bad etiquette. |
| Communication | Share your registry details on your wedding website or through virtual invites. |
| Amount | If asking for cash, include a range to give guests an idea of what is appropriate. |
| Needs | Be clear about your needs. Mention specific items you need to help guests make meaningful purchases. |
| Tone | Keep it short and sweet. Use proper grammar and punctuation. |
| Gratitude | Thank your guests in advance for their gifts. Send a heartfelt thank-you note promptly after the wedding. |
| Goals | Share your goals with your guests to make the contribution feel more personal. |
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What You'll Learn
Asking for money instead of gifts
When asking for money instead of gifts for your wedding, it's important to be tactful, warm, and appreciative. Here are some suggestions for how to word your request:
Emphasize Your Presence as a Gift
One approach is to emphasize that your guests' presence at your wedding is the greatest gift of all. You can mention that their attendance is all you require, and then provide your registry details for those who still wish to give a gift. For example:
> "Your presence at our wedding is the most precious present we could ask for. However, if you would like to honour us with a gift, we have set up a cash fund at [insert URL and registry number]."
Share Your Goals
Another option is to share your goals and dreams with your guests. Explain that you are saving for your first home together, planning an unforgettable trip, or working towards another significant financial milestone. This approach adds a personal touch and helps guests understand that their monetary contribution will go towards something meaningful. For instance:
> "As many of you know, we are saving up for our first home together. If you are thinking of giving a gift, a contribution towards our house deposit would be incredibly appreciated. You can find our registry at [insert URL]."
Use a Poem
If you want to add a whimsical touch, consider including a catchy poem in your registry bio or on your FAQ page. For example:
> "On [insert wedding date], we will celebrate
> That we have found our lifelong mates.
> We are so excited to become spouse and spouse,
> And, in the near future, buy a house.
> We have a small registry, but money would help grow our family tree.
> Donations from you would help buy us a roof."
Provide a Range
If you're asking for cash, you can include a range or a suggested amount per guest to give your invitees an idea of what is appropriate. For instance, you could say:
> "We are truly grateful for any contribution towards our future plans. We would be thrilled to receive $50 per guest, but any amount is greatly appreciated. You can find our registry at [insert URL]."
Remember, it's essential to express your gratitude and make it clear that gifts are not expected. You can also include a mix of traditional gift options for those who prefer to give physical presents.
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Wording for wedding invitations
It is considered bad etiquette to mention gifts in your wedding invitations, as you are inviting your guests to your wedding, not asking them for a gift. However, many couples include registry or website links on invitation inserts, or through virtual invites. Here are some suggestions for wording your wedding invitations to request money as a gift:
- "We are fortunate to have nearly everything we need for this new journey together! However, for friends and family who have shown an interest, we have created a gift registry here: (insert link). For guests wishing to contribute to our big day, we’ve created a gift registry at (insert store). Your attendance at our wedding is the most precious present we could have!"
- "Your presence at our wedding is the best gift we could ask for. However, if you do wish to celebrate with a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon fund would be warmly appreciated: (insert link). Now we are to be Mr and Mrs, we don't need a wedding list of dishes. A holiday is what we need, so your help with this would be a great gift indeed."
- "We are so excited to have you join our special day and your presence at our wedding is the best gift we could ask for. We have set up a cash-fund wedding registry at [insert URL and registry number, if applicable]. A wedding card box will be at our reception."
- "We are lucky enough to already have nearly everything we need for this new chapter together! However, for friends and family who have expressed an interest, we have created a gift registry for your convenience here: (link) Celebrating with you on our special day is the only gift we require."
Remember to express gratitude and to be tactful, warm and appreciative. It is also important to let your guests know that it is okay to give cash and that a gift is not necessary or expected.
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Wording for wedding websites
It is important to remember that you cannot force guests to purchase an item from your wish list. You can, however, include your registry link or ID to point them in the right direction. It is also good to mention that a gift is not necessary or expected. Here are some examples:
"We are lucky enough to already have nearly everything we need for this new chapter together! However, for friends and family who have expressed an interest, we have created a gift registry for your convenience here: (link). Celebrating with you on our special day is the only gift we require."
"Your presence on our special day means the world to us. Instead of traditional gifts, we would be truly grateful for contributions towards our home down payment, where we can start our married life together."
"We've lived together for quite a while, and all the bills are paid. We've got our plates, our pots and pans, and our plans have all been made. So, if you'd like to give a gift to help us celebrate, something towards our "honeyfund" would be appreciated!"
If you are asking for cash gifts, it is important to be mindful that some guests may feel uncomfortable with this request. It is also good to be explicit about what the money will be used for. Here are some examples:
"We have set up a cash fund wedding registry at [insert URL and registry number, if applicable]. A wedding card box will be at our reception."
"We are fortunate to have nearly everything we need for this new journey together! However, for guests wishing to contribute to our big day, we've created a gift registry at [insert store]. Your attendance at our wedding is the most precious present we could have!"
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Wishing well card box
A wishing well card box is a great way to collect cards and well-wishes from your wedding guests. It is also an opportunity to collect cash gifts or donations if you have requested monetary gifts from your guests.
There are many different styles of wishing well card boxes to choose from, including wooden boxes, clear acrylic boxes, wire baskets, decorative urns, and even a simple glass jar. You can also opt for a traditional wedding wishing well, which is an ultra-popular option for unconventional brides and grooms. These can be decorative birdcages, suitcases, wooden boxes, or baskets.
If you're looking to collect cards and monetary gifts, you can include a cute, coordinating sign with your wishing well card box. This sign can include a polite message or poem to encourage guests to contribute. For example, you could write:
> "A gift of money is placed in the well,
> Then make a wish, but shhh don't tell.
> Once we've replaced the old with the new,
> We can look back and say it was thanks to you.
> And in return for your kindness, we're sure,
> That one day soon you will get what you wished for."
Alternatively, you can include a more straightforward message, such as:
> "We are so excited to have you join our special day and your presence at our wedding is the best gift we could ask for. For friends and family who have shown an interest, we have also created a gift registry here: [insert link]. Your attendance at our wedding is the most precious present we could have! If you want to honour us with a gift, we have a list with [insert store]. Gift cards are also welcome!"
Remember to consider the formality of your wedding and use language that matches the tone of your celebration. It is also important to be tactful and polite when asking for monetary gifts, and always include that your guests' presence is the most important gift of all.
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Thank-you notes
When writing thank-you notes, focus on the sentiment behind the gift rather than the monetary amount. You could say something like, "We are so grateful for your generosity, and we can't wait to use your gift towards our new home!". This lets guests know how much their contribution means to you, without making it about the money itself.
It is important to remember that not all guests will be comfortable giving cash. If you know of close family members or friends who would prefer to give a physical gift, it is perfectly acceptable to include a mix of items on your registry. This way, everyone can choose what feels most comfortable for them.
When it comes to wedding registry wording for money, tact is key. You want to nudge guests in the right direction while simultaneously making it clear that whatever you receive (if anything) will be accepted with gratitude. For example, you could say, "Your presence on our special day means the world to us. Instead of traditional gifts, we would be truly grateful for contributions toward our honeymoon fund, where we can create lasting memories together."
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Frequently asked questions
It is considered bad etiquette to mention gifts in your wedding invitations. Instead, you can include a link to your wedding website, which can include your registry details. You can also include a cute poem or a rhyme to hint that you prefer cash gifts. For example, "A gift of money in a card would really make our day!".
Here is an example of a wedding registry card wording: "We are fortunate to have nearly everything we need for this new journey together! However, for friends and family who wish to give a gift, we have created a gift registry at [insert store name]. Your attendance at our wedding is the most precious present we could ask for!".
You can include registry wording on your wedding website or invitations that state gifts of cash are welcome. You can also include the details of your cash fund on your wedding website, explaining how the contributions will be used.
When asking for cash gifts, it is important to be straightforward, polite, warm, light-hearted, and relaxed. You can also include a range of amounts that guests can contribute and give thanks in advance.
"Thank you for being a big part of our special day. If you wish to give us a wedding gift, we would greatly appreciate a donation to [insert charity name], a charity that is very close to our hearts.".
