Rhiannon Hendricks
Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating the guest list and deciding who gets a plus one. While there are no set rules, there are best practices and etiquette guidelines to help make the process easier. The number of guests impacts the cost of a wedding, so it's important to keep budget constraints in mind when allocating plus ones. Ultimately, the decision comes down to the couple's preferences and what they can afford.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who gets a plus one? | Married, engaged, living together, long-term relationships, out-of-town guests, or single guests who may feel uncomfortable without one. |
| How to invite a plus one | Write "and guest" on the envelope, or include a note inside the invitation. |
| How to address the envelope | Write the guest's name and "and guest" on the outer envelope. Write the guest's name and their plus one's name on the inner envelope. |
| What to do if a guest asks for a plus one | Stick to your rules, consider special circumstances, or offer a plus one if space becomes available. |
What You'll Learn
Addressing the envelope
When addressing the envelope, there are a few options to consider. If you are inviting a guest who is single and they are not getting a plus one, their outer and inner envelope should include only their name.
If a guest is getting a plus one, the outer envelope should include their name alone, and the inner envelope should include their name followed by "and guest". The "and guest" does not need to be on the outer envelope, as this will allow the guest to understand that the invitation is directed towards them.
If you know the name of the plus one, you can include it on the invitation with the guest, listing their name on a separate line below the guest's name. Alternatively, you can send a separate invitation to the plus one directly. If you are sending online invitations, include the names of both the guest and their plus one at the beginning of the email.
If you don't know the name of the plus one, you can simply add "and guest" to the envelope. For example, "Mr. Harry Stockton and Guest". This is a clear and elegant way to indicate that a guest is allowed to bring someone with them.
Remember, it is not necessary to feel obligated to add plus ones. You can be selective and only give plus ones where you think they are needed.
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Wording for unmarried couples
When it comes to wedding invitation wording for unmarried couples, there are a few options to consider. Here are some detailed instructions and suggestions to help you navigate this sometimes tricky aspect of wedding planning:
Living Together
If the unmarried couple lives together, it is appropriate to address both individuals on the outer and inner invitation envelopes. This acknowledges their commitment to each other and treats them as a social unit.
Living Separately
If the couple does not live together, it is ideal for each person to receive their own invitation. This approach respects their individual identities and ensures they both feel valued. If you don't have the separate addresses, it is acceptable to address the invitation to the primary guest only, mentioning their significant other on the materials inside.
Uncertain Relationship Status
If you are unsure about the relationship status of your guests, it is best to err on the side of caution. Avoid including the name of a significant other unless you are certain they are in a committed relationship. In this case, use "invited guest" or "and guest" to allow for flexibility.
Invitation Wording
When addressing the invitations, use both guests' full names. For example:
"Mr. Shawn Jackson
Ms. Lily Caberet"
If you are inviting a guest who is single and will not have a plus-one, include only their name on both the outer and inner envelopes.
For guests with a plus-one, the outer envelope should have their name alone, and the inner envelope should include "and Guest."
Online Invitations
For online invitations, include the names of the guests at the beginning of the email. If a guest has a plus-one, you can write, for example, "Shawn Jackson (+1)."
Seating Arrangements
When planning the seating arrangements, be mindful of the dynamics between couples and single guests. Avoid seating singles next to overly affectionate couples or those who are much older. Instead, seat them between friendly, outgoing couples to encourage a comfortable and communal atmosphere.
Be Prepared for Questions
Finally, remember that guests who do not receive a plus-one may still reach out to ask for one. Be consistent in your approach, and kindly explain your decision, citing factors like budget constraints or venue capacity.
Remember, your wedding day should reflect your vision and priorities. These guidelines will help you navigate the sometimes tricky terrain of wedding invitation etiquette gracefully.
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Who traditionally gets a plus one?
While there are no hard and fast rules about who gets a plus-one at a wedding, there are some general guidelines and traditions to follow.
Firstly, it is important to note that not everyone gets a plus-one, and this is usually due to budget and space constraints. However, traditionally, guests who are married, engaged, or living with their partner should be invited with a plus-one. This is seen as a way to acknowledge their commitment and ensure that they are comfortable. It is also common courtesy to extend a plus-one invitation to members of the wedding party, such as bridesmaids and groomsmen, as a show of appreciation for their support.
In addition, couples in long-term relationships, especially those the hosts have met and spent time with, are often given plus-one invitations. This can be a tricky area, and it is usually up to the couple to decide where they draw the line in terms of the length and seriousness of the relationship. A good rule of thumb is to consider relationships of at least six months as long-term.
Out-of-town guests who may not know many other attendees are also commonly given plus-one privileges. This is to ensure that they do not feel out of place or lonely at the wedding. Similarly, single guests who may feel uncomfortable or alone without a plus-one, such as coworkers, study-abroad friends, or old roommates, are often given the option to bring a date.
Ultimately, the decision of who gets a plus-one is up to the couple, and they should consider their budget, venue capacity, and the number of people they want at their wedding when making this decision. It is also important to be consistent and avoid showing favouritism when offering plus-ones to avoid any hurt feelings.
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What to do if a guest asks about a plus one
Deciding on your guest list is one of the trickiest parts of wedding planning, and it can be very stressful when a guest asks about a plus one. Here are some tips on how to handle this situation:
Be clear and consistent
It's important to be clear and consistent with your guests about your plus-one policy. If you've already decided that you're not allowing any plus ones, stick to your guns and politely explain that due to budget or space constraints, you're only able to invite those on the guest list. Be consistent with all your guests to avoid any hurt feelings.
Be gracious and understanding
Even if you decide not to allow plus ones, it's important to be gracious and understanding towards your guests. They may be disappointed, but as long as you and your partner are firm and polite, they should accept your decision.
Consider special circumstances
However, it's important to note that not everything is black and white. There may be special circumstances where you might want to make an exception. For example, if a guest gets engaged after your invitations go out, it might be a nice gesture to extend an invitation to their partner. Or, if a friend has recently become more serious with their partner, you may want to use your best judgment and allow them to bring their significant other.
Be proactive and plan ahead
To avoid any last-minute stress, be proactive and plan ahead. If you know that a guest is in a serious relationship, consider extending a plus-one invitation to avoid any potential issues. This will also give you time to gather the name and address of the plus one for the invitation.
Have a frank conversation
If you're unsure about whether to allow a plus one, have a frank conversation with your partner about your budget, venue size, and relationship with the guest. This will help you make an informed decision that you're both comfortable with.
Provide a gracious explanation
If you decide not to allow a plus one, provide a gracious explanation to the guest. You can simply state that you're keeping the wedding intimate or that you're limited by budget or venue capacity. You don't need to go into too much detail, but a polite and concise explanation will be appreciated.
Remember, it's your special day, and you can decide who to invite. Be considerate of your guests' feelings, but ultimately, do what feels right for you and your partner.
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How to say no plus ones on your wedding website
Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and there are many decisions to be made about the guest list. Deciding who gets a plus one can be tricky, and it's often a sensitive topic. Here are some tips on how to politely and clearly say "no plus ones" on your wedding website.
Be Transparent and Informative
It's essential to be transparent and provide clear information on your wedding website. Let your guests know about your guest list restrictions and how you are approaching plus-one invitations. Explain that you are sticking to a specific guest list and provide details on whether plus ones are considered on a case-by-case basis. This way, your guests are well-informed and aware of the limitations.
Address Invitations Properly
When addressing wedding invitations, the way you write the recipient's name can indicate whether or not they are allowed to bring a plus one. If a guest is not getting a plus one, include only their name on both the outer and inner envelope. This approach subtly communicates that they are invited alone.
Be Consistent with Your Decisions
It's important to set clear guidelines for yourself and your partner when deciding who gets a plus one. Consider factors such as the length of relationships, whether guests know other attendees, and your budget and space constraints. Once you've established these guidelines, stick to them. Consistency will help you avoid any potential conflicts or hurt feelings.
Provide a Kind Explanation
If a guest reaches out and asks about a plus one, be prepared with a kind and considerate response. Explain that you would love to include everyone but that your budget or space limitations only allow for close friends and family. You can also mention that you want to ensure everyone's comfort and enjoyment, even without a plus one, as they will be surrounded by familiar faces.
Consider Seating Arrangements
When creating a seating chart or using an online seating tool, think about how you can accommodate guests who are offered a plus one. Take personalities and relationships into account to avoid any potential drama or discomfort at the reception. This proactive step will help ensure a stress-free and enjoyable celebration for all.
Remember, your wedding day should reflect what you and your partner want. Don't feel obligated to offer plus ones to everyone. By being transparent, consistent, and considerate, you can politely communicate your "no plus ones" policy and navigate these potentially tricky conversations with ease.
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Frequently asked questions
It is entirely up to you, but typically any guest who is married should be able to bring their spouse, and guests who are engaged or in a long-term relationship should be able to bring their partner.
The most common way is to write "and guest" on the envelope. If you know the name of the plus one, you can include it on a separate line below the guest's name. Alternatively, you can include a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one".
If a guest has a plus one, the outer envelope should include only their name, and the inner envelope should include their name "and guest".
If you are not allowing plus ones, you can stick to your original rules and explain that budget or space constraints mean that you are unable to accommodate extra guests. If you are allowing some plus ones, you can explain that you are only able to offer plus ones to guests who are married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship.
If a guest brings an uninvited plus one, politely explain that their plus one was not invited and that you are unable to accommodate them due to budget or space constraints.
