Wording Wedding Invitations For Second Marriages: Etiquette Guide

Planning a wedding can be a tedious task, and wording your wedding invitations can be tricky, especially for second marriages. However, it is important to remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft the perfect invitation for your special day.

Hosts: Whether it's you, your partner, or both of your families

The host line on a wedding invitation is typically where you mention who is hosting the wedding. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are named at the top of the invitation. However, for a second marriage, this can be you, your partner, or both of your families, depending on your preference and circumstances.

If you and your partner are hosting the wedding, the simplest way to word the invitation is to put your names, the date, time, and wedding location. Formal invitations are usually in the third person or with titles before the names. Here are some examples:

> Anne Smith and John Preston request the honour of your presence at their marriage on the 10th of December at four in the afternoon, 10 Galloway Road, Astoria, New York.

> Please join us as we spend the first day of our life together on Friday, the 11th of December 2020 at four in the afternoon, 10 Galloway Road, Astoria, New York.

If you are including both sets of parents as hosts, you can say something like:

> Together with their families, Emma and James invite you to join them as they exchange vows on Saturday, May 23rd, 2026, at 4:00 PM, Lafayette Country Club, 2800 Northview Road, Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota.

If you want to include the names of parents or other family members who are no longer with us, you can rearrange the wording to include them, as in this example:

> Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding on the fifth of May, two thousand seventeen at one o'clock in the afternoon, The Reagan Library, Simi Valley, California. Dinner and dancing to follow. Black tie required.

If you have divorced parents and you want to include both sets as hosts, you can include them all, keeping each parent on a separate line. If you want to include a stepparent, keep their name on the same line as their partner. This example shows how a bride with divorced and remarried parents worded the invitation:

> Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory, Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner, and Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children, Amy Abner and Charles Hyland, 01.06.18 at 4 p.m., Our Lady Queen of Angels Catholic Church, Newport, California. Reception immediately after.

Remember, the most important thing is that the invitation feels authentic to you and your partner, so feel free to get creative and make it your own!

Couple's names: Include both maiden and current last names if relevant

When it comes to wedding invitations for a second marriage, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to remember that this wedding invitation is about you and your partner's new life together. Here are some detailed and direct instructions for including both maiden and current last names on the invitation:

Including Both Last Names

If you have taken your partner's last name, it is customary to include both your maiden name and your current last name on the invitation. This is especially important if you have children from a previous marriage, as it helps to clarify your identity for guests who may know you by your maiden name. For example:

"Jane Smith, formerly Thompson, and John Smith request the honour of your presence at their marriage..."

Order of Names

Traditionally, the bride's name precedes the groom's name on the invitation. However, for same-sex couples, there is no set rule, and you can choose the order that sounds better or is more practical, such as alphabetical order. For example:

"Zara and Emily request the pleasure of your company at their wedding..."

Formal and Informal Wording

When including both last names, you can choose to use formal or informal wording. A more formal approach would be:

"The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Ms. Susan Frieda Day-Johnson to Mr. John Preston..."

Whereas an informal invitation could simply state:

"Please join us as we celebrate the marriage of Susan Frieda Day-Johnson and John Preston..."

Including Children's Names

If you have children from a previous marriage, you may want to include their names on the invitation as well. The children's names are usually listed from oldest to youngest, starting with the bride's children followed by the groom's. For example:

"Eliana and Matthew Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their parents, Anne Smith and John Preston..."

Sample Wording

"The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of

Jane Smith, formerly Thompson,

To

Mr. John Preston

Saturday, the tenth of November

At five o'clock

Friendship Church

Brookings, South Dakota"

Remember, the most important thing is to create an invitation that feels authentic to you and your partner and reflects your unique love story.

Date and time: Be clear and specific, e.g. Saturday, the twenty-third of May at four o'clock in the afternoon

When it comes to the date and time of your wedding, it's important to be clear and specific to avoid any confusion among your guests. Here are some tips and examples to help you word this section of your invitation effectively:

Be Clear and Specific

Provide the exact date and time of your wedding ceremony. Spell out the date and time rather than using numerals to maintain a formal tone. For example, "Saturday, the twenty-third of May at four o'clock in the afternoon." Using "o'clock" and specifying the time of day, such as "in the afternoon," adds a nice touch.

Formal and Informal Variations

You can vary the tone of your invitation by using formal or informal phrasing. A more formal approach might read, "request the honour of your presence at their marriage on [date] at [time] [address]." An informal version could be, "Please join us as we begin our life together on [day], the [date] at [time] [address]."

Include the Year

While not necessary, you may want to include the year, especially if your wedding is taking place near the beginning or end of a year. This can be written in various ways, such as "two thousand and twenty-three" or "two thousand twenty-three."

Consider a Short Quote

If you'd like to add a personal touch, include a short quote about your relationship. For instance, "Two lives, two hearts, joined together in friendship, now united in love." This can be a beautiful way to set the tone for your special day.

Be Consistent with Other Details

Ensure that the date and time you provide match the rest of the invitation's details. For example, if you're having a destination wedding or a wedding in a less familiar location, consider adding directions or a map to make it easy for your guests to find the venue.

Send Invitations Promptly

Keep in mind the timeline for sending out invitations. Typically, invitations should be sent eight to ten weeks before the wedding, with an RSVP deadline of about two to three weeks before the event. For guests who need to travel, sending invitations earlier is considerate and allows them to plan their trip.

Remember, your wedding invitation is a reflection of your unique love story, so feel free to personalise it and make it authentic to you and your partner. These suggestions will help you craft a clear and inviting message for your guests, ensuring their presence at your joyous celebration.

Location: Include the full address, and directions or a map if it's a destination wedding

When it comes to wedding invitations for a second marriage, there are many ways to indicate the location of the ceremony and reception. Here are some ideas to consider:

Full Address

It is essential to include the full address of the venue, especially if it is a private residence or if omitting it could cause confusion. For example:

> The Ritz-Carlton

> 1234 Main Street

> San Francisco, California

City and State

For formal weddings, it is customary to write out the city and state in full. Alternatively, you may choose to include just the city name if the location is well-known or easily identifiable.

> San Francisco, California

> or

> San Francisco

Directions or a Map

If your wedding venue is in a remote area or is difficult to find, consider providing directions or a small map on a separate insert card. This can be especially helpful for destination weddings or if many of your guests are travelling from out of town.

Reception Information

If the reception is held at the same location as the ceremony, you can simply state "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow". However, if the reception is at a different venue, include the location on a separate line or on a separate insert card.

For example:

> Reception immediately following at The Garden Restaurant

> 5678 Main Street

> San Francisco, California

Timing

If there is a significant time gap between the ceremony and reception, or if the reception is not immediately following, be sure to include the reception timing as well.

> Reception at 7:00 pm at The Garden Restaurant

Remember, the location and address are crucial components of your wedding invitation, especially for your guests' convenience. You may choose to include additional details such as directions or a map, especially for destination weddings, to ensure your guests can find their way to your special day celebrations.

RSVP details: Provide clear instructions on how and when to RSVP, e.g. via a pre-addressed envelope or wedding website

When it comes to your wedding invitations, providing clear RSVP instructions is essential to ensure your guests can respond promptly. Here are some detailed guidelines on how and when to RSVP for a second marriage celebration:

RSVP Cards and Pre-addressed Envelopes

A traditional approach is to include an RSVP card with a pre-addressed envelope. This option is convenient for guests, as they can quickly send their response through the mail. Be sure to include a stamp on the envelope to make it even easier for your invitees. Set a deadline for responses, usually about two to three weeks before the wedding, and indicate this date on the RSVP card.

Online RSVPs via Wedding Website

Another modern and efficient option is to direct your guests to your wedding website for RSVPs. Include the website address on a separate card within the invitation suite. This method allows guests to respond with just a few clicks and gives them easy access to additional wedding details, such as travel information, accommodation options, and your registry. Like the traditional method, make sure to set a clear deadline for online responses.

RSVP Wording

The wording of your RSVP request can vary depending on the tone of your invitation. Here are some examples:

• "Please respond by [date]"
• "Kindly reply by [date]"
• "The favour of a reply is requested by [date]"
• "Please RSVP by [date]"

If you're using a wedding website, you can also include a note like:

"Please let us know if you can join the celebration directly on our website"

Managing Guest List and Responses

Keep track of your guest list and their responses by creating a spreadsheet or using an online tool. Note any dietary restrictions or other special requests mentioned by your guests. This organized approach will help you finalise numbers for your venue and caterer.

Remember, clear and concise instructions will make it easier for your guests to respond, and setting a deadline will help you manage your guest list effectively.

Frequently asked questions