Deborah Chan
When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different ways to address the couple getting married, and it can depend on the formality of the wedding, as well as personal preference. Traditionally, the outer envelope is more formal and includes titles such as Mr. and Mrs. along with the husband's first and last name, for example, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. However, this tradition has fallen out of favour with many modern brides who prefer to include both the husband and wife's names, for example, Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren. This can get a little more complicated when couples have different last names or when one spouse has a hyphenated last name.
What You'll Learn
Using 'Mr.' and 'Mrs.' for a heterosexual couple
When addressing wedding invitations to a heterosexual couple, there are a few options to consider, depending on the couple's last names and the level of formality you wish to convey. Here are some guidelines to help you format the invitations appropriately:
Married Couple with the Same Last Name:
For a heterosexual couple with the same last name, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. Here is an example:
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
However, some modern women may prefer to have their first name included instead of being addressed solely by their husband's name. In this case, you can format the invitation as follows:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
Married Couple with Different Last Names:
When addressing a heterosexual couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately. Here is an example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:
If one spouse has chosen to hyphenate their last name, you can use "Mr." for the husband and "Mrs." or "Ms." for the wife. Here is an example:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mrs. Brian Crosby-Craft"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mrs. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"
Formal vs. Informal Addressing:
The level of formality of your wedding can also guide your choice of addressing. For a formal wedding, such as a black-tie event or a ceremony held in a place of worship, it is more common to use titles like "Mr." and "Mrs."
On the other hand, for an informal wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or a laid-back celebration, you may choose to use a more casual format. Informal addressing is generally not recommended for weddings, but it can be appropriate for a casual event. Here is an example of informal envelope addressing:
Outer envelope: "Brian and Valerie Freeman"
Inner envelope: "The Freeman Family"
In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations to a heterosexual couple, consider their last names and your desired level of formality. Remember to be consistent in your chosen format and always double-check the preferences of the couple you are addressing.
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Using both names, instead of the husband's name only
When addressing wedding invitations, the inner and outer envelopes follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope is typically more formal, with the recipient's full name and title included. The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for more flexibility in how you address the recipient.
If you want to use both names of a married couple with the same last name, you can use the following formats:
- Formal: Mr. and Mrs. [First name] [Last name]
- Informal: Mr. and Mrs. [Last name]
For example, if the husband's name is John Smith and the wife's name is Sarah Smith, the formal format would be "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith," while the informal format would be "Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
It is worth noting that traditional etiquette dictates that the husband's name should be mentioned first. However, modern alternatives suggest listing the wife's name first or using both names with the husband's name first, followed by the wife's name and their shared last name. Here are some examples:
- Mr. and Mrs. John and Sarah Smith
- Mr. John and Mrs. Sarah Smith
If you are inviting a married couple with children, you can include the children's names on the inner envelope. For a more formal invitation, use titles such as "Miss" for girls under 18 and "Mr." for boys over 16.
Additionally, consider the couple's preference regarding titles. Some couples may prefer using "Ms." instead of "Mrs." or opting for a gender-neutral option like "Mx."
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Addressing a married couple with different last names
When addressing a married couple with different last names on a wedding invitation, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope should be formal and include the first names and last names of both partners. If you are closer to one of the partners, their name should be listed first. If you are equally close to both, list the names in alphabetical order. Here is an example:
"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
For the inner envelope, you can use a more informal format. You can use the same format as the outer envelope, or you can use their first names only. Here is an example:
"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
It is important to note that the outer envelope should include the full names and titles of both partners, while the inner envelope offers more flexibility and can be more casual.
If you are hosting a formal wedding, such as a black-tie event or a wedding held in a place of worship, it is recommended to use formal envelope etiquette. On the other hand, if you are having an informal wedding, such as a laid-back, backyard barbecue, you can use a more casual format for the invitations.
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Addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, you have a few options.
Formal Addressing
If you are opting for a formal approach, the outer envelope can be addressed as follows:
- "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Hyphenated Last Name]
- "Mr. and Mrs. Brian Freeman"
If the wife has chosen to hyphenate her last name, you can use either "Ms." or "Mrs." For the inner envelope, you can write:
- "Mr. and Mrs. [Hyphenated Last Name]
- "Mr. and Mrs. Freeman"
Informal Addressing
For a less formal approach, you can simply write out their first and last names, either on one line or two separate lines:
"Mr. Brian Freeman and Mrs. Valerie Freeman"
If the names are too long and don't fit on one line, you can write them on two separate lines, using "and" to indicate they are a married couple:
"Mr. Brian Freeman and Mrs. Valerie Freeman-Warrington"
Other Considerations
When addressing the envelope, it's important to put their names in the centre of the envelope and leave enough space to write their names on a single line if possible.
Below their names, include the street address, postal code, city, and state or province.
Additionally, don't forget to include your return address in the upper left corner of the envelope.
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Addressing a married couple informally
When addressing a married couple informally, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names for the couple, especially if they have different last names or if the wife has chosen to hyphenate her name.
For a heterosexual couple with the same last name, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name]". However, modern etiquette suggests that the wife's first name should also be included, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] and [wife's first name] [shared last name]". This format is more inclusive and avoids the outdated practice of lumping the wife's identity into her husband's.
If the couple has different last names, you would address them as "Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name] and Mrs. [wife's first name] [wife's last name]". Similarly, if the wife has chosen to hyphenate her name, you would address them as "Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name] and Mrs./Ms. [wife's first name] [wife's hyphenated last name]".
It is worth noting that some sources suggest that using personal titles might feel restrictive and exclusive, especially for guests who do not identify as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. In such cases, it is acceptable to use only first and last names on the invitation, regardless of the couple's marital status or gender.
Additionally, when addressing the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can choose to use only first names or a combination of personal titles and last names, depending on the level of informality desired.
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Frequently asked questions
On the outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's first name] [Shared last name]. On the inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. [Shared last name].
On the outer envelope, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. On the inner envelope, use their first names.
On the outer envelope, write out both guests' full names. On the inner envelope, use their first names.
On the outer envelope, include both guests' full names on separate lines. On the inner envelope, use their titles and surnames or just their first names.
On the outer envelope, use their title and full name. On the inner envelope, use their title and surname or just their first name.
