Deborah Chan
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular ritual for couples to symbolise their union during their wedding ceremony. The ritual involves lighting a large candle, known as the unity candle, using two smaller taper candles. The couple lights the unity candle simultaneously, representing the merging of their two lives and families. This ceremony is often performed after exchanging vows and rings, with the couple standing together to light the candle. While it initially began as a Christian tradition, unity candle ceremonies are now popular in non-religious and interfaith weddings, with couples from varying religions and beliefs incorporating it into their special day.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of candles | 3 (2 taper candles and 1 pillar candle) |
| Who lights the candles | The couple, or their mothers, or a father, or a close friend, or the officiant |
| When to light the candle | After the vows and ring exchange |
| Candle colour | White or ivory, or any colour that matches the wedding theme |
| Personalisation | Engrave names, wedding date, or a meaningful quote on the candle |
| Candle holder | Choose a strong base or candle holder to avoid accidents |
| Accessories | Ribbons, candle holders, and other accessories that match the wedding theme |
| Ceremony type | Religious or non-religious |
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What You'll Learn
The unity candle ceremony's meaning and history
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that usually takes place after the exchange of vows and rings. During the ceremony, each member of the couple lights a larger candle, known as the unity candle, with their individual taper candles. The ceremony is meant to symbolise the union of the couple and the merging of their two lives and families. Although the exact origins of the unity candle ceremony are unknown, it is a relatively new tradition that is thought to have first become popular in the 1970s.
The unity candle ceremony is often associated with Catholic and Christian weddings, where the candle's flame may represent the light of God carried within each partner. However, it is also performed in weddings of varying religions and beliefs, including Pagan weddings, and can be adapted to hold personal meaning for the couple. In Pagan weddings, for example, unity candles may be lit on the solstice to symbolise a return to longer days and a promise of a bountiful future.
While the unity candle ceremony is a popular way to symbolise the union of two people in marriage, it is not part of the Catholic Wedding Ceremony or the Anglican wedding ceremony. It is also prohibited in some churches as it is not explicitly part of the churches' apostolic tradition. Nevertheless, the ritual has gained popularity in Christian and interfaith weddings, as well as in non-religious weddings.
The unity candle ceremony can be personalised in various ways. Couples may choose to personalise their candles with engravings, colours, or designs that match their wedding aesthetic or hold special meaning for them. They can also include other loved ones in the ceremony, such as children, parents, or grandparents, to symbolise their important role in the couple's new blended family.
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Choosing the right unity candle set
There are a few things to consider when choosing your unity candle set. Firstly, you'll need three different candles: two taper candles and one larger pillar candle. The customary option is a white or ivory hue, but you can also choose a colour that matches your wedding theme or holds symbolic value. For example, a coral-coloured candle would be perfect for a beach wedding. You can also opt for scented candles, but it's best to keep the scent subtle so it doesn't overpower the space.
If you want to add a personal touch, you can personalise your unity candle set by engraving your names, wedding date, or a meaningful quote. You can also decorate the candles with ribbons or other accessories that match your wedding theme and aesthetic.
When choosing your unity candle set, it's important to prioritise durability. Select a strong base or candle holder that fits your candle securely to prevent any accidents during the ceremony.
Finally, don't forget to bring a lighter or matches to light the candles during the ceremony, and consider having a backup option just in case!
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How to set up the table
Setting up the table for a unity candle ceremony during a wedding requires some planning and preparation. Here are some detailed steps to help you create a memorable and safe experience:
Firstly, choose a table that is the appropriate height for the couple. It should be high enough so that the couple won't need to bend down to light the candles. This small detail can make a significant difference in the flow of the ceremony.
Secondly, consider the placement of the table. It can be set off to the side, between the arch and the wedding party, or behind the bridesmaids. The placement should be such that it does not cause a distraction or require too much walking back and forth during the ceremony. The table should also be easily accessible to those participating in the unity candle ceremony, especially if multiple family members are involved.
Thirdly, ensure good fire safety practices. Clear away any drapery or decorations that could accidentally catch fire. This is a common occurrence during unity candle ceremonies, so it is important to be cautious. If the wedding is outdoors, use hurricane lamps, which are glass coverings that shield the candles from the breeze. Ensure the wicks are deep inside the hurricane lamps to prevent them from blowing out.
Next, decorate the table to create a beautiful and meaningful display. You can use flowers, herbs, crystals, framed photos of family members, colourful fabric tablecloths, or any other items that hold significance for the couple.
Finally, prepare the candles and other supplies. Place the taper candles at the end of the table for easy reach. You can decorate the candles with colourful ribbons or other decorations that match the wedding theme or the couple's personalities. If you wish to personalise the unity candle, consider engraving the couple's names or a meaningful quote on it. Additionally, have a backup lighter or matchbook nearby in case you need to relight any candles.
By following these steps, you can create a well-prepared and elegant setup for the unity candle ceremony during the wedding.
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Who lights the taper candles
The Unity Candle Ceremony is a wedding tradition that symbolizes unity, love, and the merging of two lives into one. In this ceremony, taper candles are lit by the couple's parents, representing the lives of the bride and groom before their marriage. These taper candles are then used by the couple to light a single large candle, known as the unity candle, together. This signifies their commitment and new life as one.
The taper candles used in the Unity Candle Ceremony can be selected or decorated specifically for this purpose. Some couples choose to engrave their initials or wedding date on the unity candle as a keepsake. The candles can also be customized to fit the wedding theme, with colours such as pink, blue, or beige chosen to match the colour scheme.
In some religious traditions, such as Christian weddings, the Unity Candle Ceremony may include specific prayers, adding a layer of spiritual significance to the ritual. However, the overall concept of candle lighting during weddings transcends religious boundaries and can be found in various cultural interpretations across Christian, Hindu, and Jewish ceremonies.
The lighting of the taper candles and the subsequent unity candle creates a visually and emotionally moving moment during the wedding ceremony. It provides a poignant ritual that adds intimacy and solemnity to the occasion, making it a cherished part of the celebration for the couple and their families.
While the taper candles are typically lit by the couple's parents, there may be variations depending on personal preferences and cultural traditions. Ultimately, the choice of who lights the taper candles can be tailored to fit the unique dynamics and relationships of the couple and their loved ones.
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What to say and do during the ceremony
Unity candle ceremonies are a beautiful way to symbolise the joining of two people and two families into one. The ceremony usually involves three candles: two taper candles and one pillar candle. The taper candles represent the couple and their families, while the pillar candle, or the unity candle, symbolises the union of the couple and their two families.
- Set up a small table at the front of the ceremony, next to the couple, to place the candles. Decorate the table with flowers, candle holders, or other accessories that match the wedding aesthetic.
- Before the ceremony, the parents or other family members of the couple can light the taper candles. These candles represent the two families from which the couple comes.
- The officiant will then introduce the unity candle ceremony and explain the symbolism behind it. They may say something like: "At this time, we will have the lighting of the Unity candle. I want to ask representatives of both families to light one of the candles. Please come forward. Before [Couple] come forward to light their wedding candle, allow me to explain the symbolism behind these candles. The two outside candles have been lit to symbolise the two families from which these individuals have come."
- The couple will then take the taper candles and simultaneously light the unity candle, symbolising their union and the blending of their families.
- The officiant or a special guest can then read a poem or passage to accompany the ceremony, such as this popular unity candles poem by Harold Douglas: "Soft mists embrace two golden flames, / Alone they search the night. / Two souls adrift in dreams of love, / They seek to claim the light. / The path is long from which they came, / But sure they are it’s right. / Two flames embrace in dreams of love, / Two Souls – Two Hearts Unite."
- The unity candle ceremony can be further personalised by choosing taper candles in the wedding colours, engraving the unity candle with the couple's names and wedding date, or including special music or prayers.
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Frequently asked questions
A unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that takes place after the vow exchange, when the couple lights one main candle with two separate candles, representing the merging of two families and two individuals.
The unity candle ceremony usually involves three candles. The middle candle, the unity candle, is often a pillar candle, and the two accompanying candles on either side are taper candles. The couple uses the taper candles to light the unity candle together, signifying the union of their lives and the love they share.
The unity candle is usually lit after the couple has exchanged their vows and rings. However, some couples choose to light it before the vows or right before the pronouncement of marriage.
Yes, you can include other loved ones such as children, parents, or grandparents in the unity candle ceremony to symbolise their important role in your growing family. The elders can light the taper candles and pass them to the couple, who then light the unity candle together.
