Asking Your Bridesmaids: Creative Ways To Pop The Question

how to tell your bridesmaids they are bridesmaids

Asking your friends to be your bridesmaids is one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning. While it can be stressful, it's important to remember that it should be a fun and stress-free experience. There are many ways to ask your friends, from in-person to sending gifts, and it's important to do what feels right for you and your friends. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Characteristics Values
Timing Between a year and eight months before the wedding
Tone Intimate and low-key or grandiose
Medium In-person, via phone, FaceTime, Skype, email, or text
Gifts Macarons, personalised puzzles, balloons, jewellery, skincare gift sets, tote bags, etc.

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In-person or via phone/video call

Asking your friends to be your bridesmaids is one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning. Here are some tips for how to ask them in person or over a phone/video call:

In Person

Meeting with each prospective bridesmaid in person to share the news is a great way to make your request feel more intimate and special. If your bridesmaids-to-be live close by, consider the following ideas:

  • Ask them over for dinner. Whether you cook a meal or order in, invite your friends over for a low-key get-together without revealing the true reason for the dinner. Then, as the evening comes to a close, bring out a cake with "Will you be my bridesmaid?" written on it, pop open a bottle of bubbly, and make a toast.
  • Surprise them at their doorstep. Show up at their house with a bouquet of flowers (and perhaps a bottle of wine or sparkling juice) and ask your bestie to be your maid of honor or bridesmaid. You can even toast the moment with a glass of champagne if they say yes!
  • Give them a keepsake gift. Lots of brides love to give their bridesmaids-to-be a small gift when they pop the question. Popular options include skincare gift sets, pretty hair ties (to wear on the wedding day), personalized tumblers, and stemless wine glasses. If you want to give a keepsake gift, consider a personalized jewelry box or monogrammed towel—something they'll always remember you by.

Via Phone/Video Call

If your bridesmaids-to-be don't live locally, you can still make your request feel special by scheduling a phone or video call. Here are some ideas for long-distance requests:

  • Send a letter in a bottle. Put tiny notes that say "Will you be my bridesmaid?" into small bottles, seal them, and mail them to your future bridesmaids for an unforgettable moment.
  • Send a bouquet of flowers with a note. You can order a bouquet of beautiful blossoms and have them delivered to your future bridesmaids along with a personalized message that ends with, "Will you be my bridesmaid?"
  • Send cookies or cupcakes. Bake your own treats at home and use icing to write "Will you be my bridesmaid?" on them. Or, if baking isn't your forte, order custom-made sweets from a professional.

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With a gift

Asking your closest friends to be your bridesmaids is a perfect opportunity to show them how important they are to you. One way to do this is by giving them a gift when you "pop the question". Here are some gift ideas to help you plan your bridesmaid proposal:

"Bridesmaid" Keepsake Gift

Popular bridesmaid gifts include skincare gift sets, jewellery and pretty hair ties (to wear on the wedding day), tote bags, personalised tumblers, stemless wine glasses, and notebooks. If you can give a keepsake gift like a personalised jewellery box or monogrammed towel, then even better — they’ll always remember the moment you asked when they see it.

Surprise Them with Personalised Jewellery

Jewellery is a lovely gift idea, and it’s especially fitting for a bridesmaid proposal. If you’re on a tight budget, sites like Etsy have a variety of handmade jewellery pieces that won’t break the bank. Choose delicate gold bracelets or necklaces with the bridesmaid’s initials, or opt for earrings that match your wedding colours.

Send Cookies or Cupcakes

For a tasty treat, bake your own cookies or cupcakes at home and ice the words "Will you be my bridesmaid?" on them. You can ice each cookie or cupcake with individual words or try fitting the question all on one, depending on the size!

Give a Personalised Wine or Champagne Bottle

Affix a customised wine label with the words, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" to your (or your soon-to-be bridesmaid's) favourite bottle of wine or bubbly. If you have the budget, you can present the bottle with a pair of champagne flutes or wine glasses.

Bridesmaid Proposal Box

Buy a pre-packaged bridesmaid proposal box, or make your own personalised version. Fill the box with a note and goodies like chocolate candies, face masks, notebooks, scented candles, and cosy socks. Decorate the box with stickers and spruce up the interior with confetti and tissue paper that matches your wedding theme.

Give Them a Robe

Surprise your would-be maid of honour and bridesmaids with their very own robes as the perfect way to ask them to take on the role.

Remember, it's totally up to you how much you spend on your bridesmaid proposals. A cute card with a heartfelt message can be just as meaningful as a basket of goodies.

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Without a gift

There are many ways to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids without giving them a gift. Here are some ideas:

A heartfelt card

A simple, heartfelt card is a great way to pop the question. You can write a personalised message to each bridesmaid-to-be, expressing how much their friendship means to you and how excited you are to have them by your side on your special day. You can include a favourite photo of the two of you to make it even more special.

Dinner party

Invite your friends over for a dinner party. Whether you cook a homemade meal or order from a restaurant, keep the reason for the gathering a surprise. As dinner comes to a close, pop the question by pouring some bubbly and bringing out a cake with "Will you be my bridesmaid?" written on it. This will surely be a memorable night for all!

Personalised print

Customised prints make wonderful mementos and are a sweet way to ask your friends to be a part of your wedding day. Look online for a beautiful print that you can personalise with your friend's name and your wedding date.

Message in a bottle

As a fun twist on a handwritten note, send your future bridesmaids a message in a bottle. Handwrite "Will you be my bridesmaid?" on a small piece of paper, roll it up, and place it inside tiny message bottles. Seal the bottles and hand-deliver them to your bridesmaids-to-be for an unforgettable moment.

Bouquet of flowers

Flowers are always a wonderful way to express your feelings, and they make a perfect bridesmaid proposal gift. Order a bouquet of beautiful blossoms and have them delivered to your future bridesmaids, along with a personalised message that ends with "Will you be my bridesmaid?".

Coffee date

Set up a one-on-one coffee date with each friend and ask the barista to write "Will you be my bridesmaid?" on their cup instead of their name. This is a unique and intimate way to pop the question.

Remember, when asking your friends to be your bridesmaids, it's important to give them enough time to prepare and plan. Aim to pop the question at least six months before your wedding, and if you're giving them a gift, make it something thoughtful and meaningful that shows how much you care.

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With a card

Asking your friends to be your bridesmaids is an important and exciting part of wedding planning. A heartfelt card is a great way to pop the question and there are lots of ways to make your cards unique and personalised.

Greeting and Tone

Start your card with a greeting. This will set the tone for the rest of your note. You can keep things formal or address your friend by a nickname. You can also hint at the card's purpose, as your bridesmaids may be expecting to be included in your big day.

A Sentimental Journey

A wedding is an emotional event, not just for you and your partner, but for those close to you as well. Take a trip down memory lane in your card and recall some special moments from your friendship. You can also express how much their support has meant to you over the years.

Pop the Question

Be sure to actually ask the question! You can be as straightforward as simply saying, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" or add some extra detail, like "I can't imagine taking this big step without you."

A Peek at the Future

Give your bridesmaids a glimpse of the fun to come, from the wedding shower and bachelorette party to the destination of the wedding itself.

Delivery

If you can, deliver the card in person. Otherwise, you can send it in the mail, perhaps with a small gift or treat, like a mini bottle of champagne or some chocolates.

Card Customisation

There are lots of ways to customise your card. You can include personal photos, choose a unique colour scheme, and play with word placement, font styles, and sizes. You can also opt for a coloured envelope to spark your friend's curiosity.

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Over dinner

Asking your besties to be your bridesmaids over dinner is a great way to pop the question. Here are some ideas to make it a night to remember:

The Setup

Invite your besties over for a dinner party at your place. Whether you cook a homemade meal or order from a restaurant, keep the reason for the dinner a secret. Simply tell them you want to hang out and spend some quality time together. This intimate setting will allow you to have meaningful conversations and create a memorable experience.

Pop the Question

As dinner comes to a close, it's time for the big moment. Bring out a bottle of bubbly to add a touch of celebration to the atmosphere. You can even present a cake with the question "Will you be my bridesmaid?" written on it. Alternatively, you could offer each of them a personalised card, expressing your sentiments and asking the question. This combination of good food, bubbly, and a thoughtful gesture will surely make them feel special.

Practical Details

While the evening is about celebrating and sharing your excitement, it's also an opportunity to share some practical details about your wedding plans. Provide them with a timeline of events, including dates for the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and, of course, the wedding day. Discuss the bridesmaid dress shopping plans and any budget considerations. Being transparent about these details early on will help your bridesmaids plan accordingly and ensure they feel included in the process.

Gifts and Gestures

A small gift or keepsake is always a lovely touch when asking your friends to be your bridesmaids. It could be something personalised, like a piece of jewellery, a robe, or a tote bag with their initials. You could also opt for practical gifts, like skincare sets, pretty hair ties, or even a bridesmaid proposal box filled with treats like chocolates, face masks, notebooks, and scented candles. These gifts will not only delight your bridesmaids but also show your appreciation for their role in your special day.

Make it Memorable

To add a touch of creativity, you could incorporate some fun elements into the dinner. For example, you could bake cookies or cupcakes with icing that spells out "Will you be my bridesmaid?" Or, if you're feeling extra crafty, create personalised prints for each bridesmaid, featuring their name and your wedding date. These thoughtful gestures will make the evening even more unique and memorable.

Frequently asked questions

You should ask your bridesmaids to be part of your bridal party anywhere between a year to eight months before the wedding. This gives them enough time to prepare and plan.

There are many creative ways to ask your bridesmaids. You can give them a keepsake gift, send a letter in a bottle, surprise them at their doorstep with flowers, or create a personalised print or jewellery. You can also ask them over dinner or send a proposal card.

You can simply ask, "Will you be my bridesmaid?". However, you can also add a personal touch by saying something like, "I couldn't do this without my best friend. Be my bridesmaid?".

It is important to have a follow-up conversation with each bridesmaid to discuss their concerns, questions or potential conflicts. This will ensure that they are comfortable with the responsibilities and cost associated with being a bridesmaid.

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