Asking your favourite people to be your bridesmaids is one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning. But how do you do it? While there are no strict rules, it's best not to rush into it. Take some time to think about who you want by your side on your wedding day and give yourself a couple of months to decide. Once you've made your decision, it's time to get planning. From in-person chats to elaborate gestures, there are lots of fun ways to pop the question to your bridal squad.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Timing | 11 months to eight months before the wedding |
Proposal Ideas | Fortune cookies, ring pops, bouquet of flowers, curated gift boxes, a workshop or class |
Gifts | Macarons, personalised puzzles, balloons, jewellery |
Communication | In-person, phone, FaceTime, Skype |
What You'll Learn
- Proposal ideas: fortune cookies, ring pops, flowers, gift boxes, or a class/workshop
- Timing: wait until you know your wedding date, and give yourself a grace period
- Who to ask: siblings, siblings-in-law, close relatives, and long-time friends?
- Gifts: macarons, personalised puzzles, balloons, or jewellery
- Follow-up: discuss your wedding vision and their role, and address any concerns
Proposal ideas: fortune cookies, ring pops, flowers, gift boxes, or a class/workshop
Fortune cookies:
A fun and novel way to ask your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding is to use fortune cookies. You can buy custom-made fortune cookies with personalised branding and messages. For example, you could have "I can't say 'I do' without you!" printed on the fortune slip. Alternatively, you could ask each of your bridesmaids to be by hand-writing a personalised message on the slip of paper inside the cookie.
Ring pops:
Ring pops are a cheap and simple way to ask your friends or family to be your bridesmaids. You can place a ring pop in a favour box with a cute note, or use a Tiffany-blue gift box with a note attached. You could even place a ring pop in a plastic favour box, wrap it in cellophane, and add a cute tag with a mini clothespin.
Flowers:
Flowers are a more traditional way to ask your bridesmaids. While you don't have to stress too much about the flowers your best girls will carry down the aisle, you should give their arrangements as much thought as your own. Their floral bouquets should complement your arrangement, their dresses, and the overall vibe of the day. You could add a personalised note to the bouquet to pop the question.
Gift boxes:
Bridesmaid gift boxes are a great way to ask your friends to be part of your special day. You could include a selection of gifts, such as a silk robe, champagne flute, jewellery, candles, bath products, or a personalised card. You could even add a ring pop to the gift box!
Class/workshop:
If you want to ask your friends to be bridesmaids all at once, you could take your bridal squad out for a workshop or class. You can collectively ask everyone at the same time and then celebrate with a toast.
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Timing: wait until you know your wedding date, and give yourself a grace period
Timing is key when it comes to asking your bridesmaids. It's important to wait until you know your wedding date and give yourself a grace period to ensure you make the right choices. Here are some reasons why:
Firstly, knowing your wedding date will help your bridesmaids-to-be make an informed decision about their availability and commitment. They may have other commitments or life changes that could impact their ability to participate. By sharing the date, you give them the necessary information to confidently accept or decline your invitation.
Secondly, take your time to make thoughtful decisions about your bridal party. If your wedding is a year or two away, use this time to reflect on the people you want by your side. Relationships can evolve, and you want to ensure that those you choose are friends for life and can support you throughout the wedding planning process. This grace period allows you to consider your vision for the bridal party and select individuals who align with your expectations and responsibilities.
Thirdly, by giving yourself this grace period, you can also gather more wedding details to share with your potential bridesmaids. They will appreciate having a better understanding of their role and any associated expenses. Details such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party can influence the size of your bridal party. Sharing these details upfront will help your bridesmaids feel excited and confident about accepting the role.
Finally, it is recommended to wait at least 60 days after getting engaged before popping the question to your bridesmaids. During this time, you can plan the number of bridesmaids you want and consider the gifts you'd like to give them when you ask. This period allows you to make informed decisions and ensures that you don't rush into any commitments.
Remember, asking someone to be your bridesmaid is a special moment, and you want to ensure that you give it the attention and consideration it deserves. Enjoy the process, take your time, and make decisions that feel right for you and your wedding!
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Who to ask: siblings, siblings-in-law, close relatives, and long-time friends
When deciding on your bridesmaids, it's important to choose people you trust and have a good relationship with. This could include your siblings, in-laws, close relatives, and long-time friends. Here are some things to consider when asking them to be your bridesmaids:
Siblings
Including your siblings in your bridal party can be a wonderful way to honour your family bond. If you have multiple siblings, consider asking them all to be bridesmaids to avoid any potential hurt feelings. However, it's ultimately your decision and should be based on your relationship with them.
Siblings-in-law
Including your future siblings-in-law in your bridal party can be a nice gesture to create a warm and inviting start to your new family bond. However, it is not an etiquette requirement. Consider your relationship with them, whether they have a good relationship with your partner, and if their presence will make you feel relaxed and excited for your big day. If you decide not to include them, communicate this gently and offer them another role in the wedding.
Close relatives
Other close relatives, such as cousins or cousins-in-law, can also be considered for your bridal party. Again, evaluate your relationship with them and whether their presence will bring you joy on your special day.
Long-time friends
Your bridal party is an excellent opportunity to honour your closest friends who have always been there for you. Consider choosing friends you have a strong relationship with and who you know will continue to be a part of your life for years to come. Long-time friends can provide valuable support and help with wedding details in the months leading up to your big day.
Remember, the size of your bridal party should be proportional to your partner's wedding party. It's also essential to take the time to think about your decision and ensure that your chosen bridesmaids are excited and committed to their roles.
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Gifts: macarons, personalised puzzles, balloons, or jewellery
Macarons, personalised puzzles, balloons, and jewellery are all great ideas for bridesmaid proposal gifts. Here are some ways you can use these gifts to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids:
Macarons
These sweet treats can be a standalone gift for your bridesmaids. You can even get creative and make it more special by including a note that says "Be my bridesmaid? I can't 'macaron' without you!".
Personalised Puzzles
A fun idea is to give your bridesmaids a puzzle with a custom image of you and each of them, along with a "Will you be my bridesmaid?" message. They'll have fun assembling the puzzle and will be touched by your thoughtful gesture.
Balloons
Balloons are a festive way to pop the question to your bridesmaids. You can get creative and tie a note to the string of the balloon, asking them to be a part of your special day. Alternatively, you can fill a balloon with smaller gifts, such as confetti, and let your friends pop it to reveal the surprise inside.
Jewellery
Jewellery is a classic and thoughtful choice for a bridesmaid proposal gift. You can opt for birth flower necklaces, custom name necklaces, or bracelets with their names spelled out in Morse code. These pieces of jewellery will not only be a memorable token of your friendship but also something they can wear on your wedding day and cherish for years to come.
Remember, when choosing gifts for your bridesmaids, it's important to make them feel special and appreciated. Personalised items or gifts tailored to their interests and hobbies are always a good idea. You can also add a handwritten note or a heartfelt card to express your gratitude and excitement for having them by your side on your big day.
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Follow-up: discuss your wedding vision and their role, and address any concerns
Once you've asked your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding, it's a good idea to have a follow-up conversation to discuss your wedding vision and their role, and to address any concerns. Here are some tips for making the most of this discussion:
Discuss your wedding vision:
It's important to communicate your wedding vision and expectations clearly to your bridesmaids. Be upfront about the different events and activities you expect them to participate in, such as the rehearsal, bridal shower, dress fittings, and pre-wedding parties. Provide them with a timeline of events and an itinerary for the wedding day itself, including arrival times, photography schedules, and an expected end time. This will help them plan and ensure they are well-informed.
Outline their role and responsibilities:
Explain to your bridesmaids what their role entails and what responsibilities they will have. Discuss any specific tasks or duties you may need their help with during the wedding planning process and on the big day. Be mindful of their time and avoid making assumptions about their availability. Respect their time by being concise and considerate in your communications.
Address budget and financial concerns:
Being a bridesmaid can be financially demanding, so it's essential to consider your bridesmaids' budgets. Discuss the expected costs, such as the dress, bachelorette party, and wedding gift. Think of ways to reduce their expenses, such as renting dresses instead of buying or choosing affordable options. Be open to suggestions and willing to make adjustments if needed.
Listen to their concerns:
Encourage your bridesmaids to express any concerns or questions they may have. Be open to feedback and willing to find solutions together. Remember that clear and honest communication is key to maintaining a positive relationship with your bridesmaids. Address any potential conflicts or issues early on to avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings later.
Provide reassurance and support:
Let your bridesmaids know that you are excited to have them by your side and that you value their participation. Reassure them that you are willing to work together to address any challenges that may arise. Offer support and guidance, especially if they are first-time bridesmaids, and let them know they can come to you with any worries or problems.
Discuss dress and styling preferences:
Collaborate with your bridesmaids on dress choices and styling options. Consider their comfort and input when selecting bridesmaid dresses. Offer flexibility by allowing them to choose their own hairstyles, makeup, and even footwear to ensure they feel comfortable and confident. Remember, happy bridesmaids make for a happier wedding day!
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Frequently asked questions
You should ask your friends to be your bridesmaids anywhere between a year to eight months before the wedding. This gives your bridesmaids enough time to prepare and plan accordingly.
There are many ways to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids. You can ask them in person, send them a letter in a bottle, surprise them with a gift, or even create a personalised print or card.
Your bridesmaid proposal can include a gift, such as a piece of jewellery, a candle, a robe, or a bottle of wine with a personalised label. You can also include a card with a heartfelt message expressing how much you value their friendship and why you want them by your side on your big day.