Rhiannon Hendricks
There are many ways to ruin a wedding, and some people seem keen to find out what they are. One way to ruin a wedding is to wear white and upstage the bride—a definite no-no. Bringing your poorly disciplined, rambunctious spouse or interrupting a speech with an attention-grabbing story are also surefire ways to spoil the nuptials. If you really want to ruin a wedding, you could always get engaged during the ceremony, or bring along an uninvited plus-one.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wear white | Don't do it! |
| Bring a plus-one without permission | It could be a budget restraint |
| Use your phone | Be present and enjoy the event |
| Touch the wedding cake | It's unsanitary and expensive |
| Interrupt a speech | It's the couple's day |
| Propose to someone | It steals the spotlight |
| Make a toast about the couple's future | It could be seen as a threat |
| Show up with your partner in a wedding dress | It's the bride's moment |
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What You'll Learn
Wear white
Wearing white to a wedding is a surefire way to ruin the couple's special day. It is a major breach of wedding etiquette and is seen as an attempt to upstage the bride and steal her thunder. The tradition of the white wedding dress started with Queen Victoria, and since then, the colour has been reserved for the bride alone.
If you are determined to wear white to a wedding, there are ways to do so without setting off alarm bells. Firstly, avoid a full-length silhouette at all costs. Opt for something over the knee or mid-length, ensuring it has little to no resemblance to a wedding gown. Stay away from bridal fabrics and silhouettes like chiffon, A-line skirts, and cinched waists. Instead, choose a dress with a distinctive shape and structure, perhaps something with asymmetrical lines and edging. Make your dress edgy and modern, steering clear of anything soft and bridal.
Another way to get away with wearing white is to choose a shade that is not pure white. Cream, off-white, ivory, or champagne are alternatives that won't be as glaring as a bright white. Just ensure the shade is clearly different from the bride's dress. You can also pair your white outfit with colourful jewellery, shoes, or a blazer to break up the all-white look and make it clear you're not trying to upstage the bride. If you're wearing a suit, a white button-down shirt is allowed and often encouraged, depending on the dress code.
If you really want to cause a stir, go for a full-length white gown, especially one with lace or tulle, which are traditionally bridal. You could also choose a white dress with a large print or a white background, ensuring the print isn't too bold or distracting. If you want to ruin the wedding, make sure your outfit is attention-grabbing and flashy. Remember, the wedding day is about the bride, not you, so if you wear white, you'll likely be seen as trying to take away from her day.
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Make a scene
If you want to make a scene and ruin a wedding, there are several tried and tested methods to ensure you achieve your goal.
Firstly, it is important to note that weddings are emotional affairs, and alcohol can amplify emotions. If you want to cause a scene, drinking too much is a sure-fire way to lower your inhibitions and increase the likelihood of you doing something you will later regret. You could hit on the bride's mother, for example, or even relieve yourself in the chocolate fountain. If you are feeling particularly bold, you could attempt a dance move like 'the worm' on the dance floor, or try to stand on one foot while chugging vodka—you may even fall into the wedding cake!
If drinking is not your style, there are other ways to create a scene. You could bring up depressing topics, such as the Cambodian genocide, to bum everyone out. Alternatively, you could bring your phone and loudly conduct your stock trades during the ceremony—a sure way to irritate the couple and their guests.
If you are a photographer, or even an amateur one, you can easily ruin a wedding by being distracting and oblivious. Use your flash, stand in the middle of the aisle, and turn on all the beeps and lights on your camera. This will not only ruin the moment for the couple but also for the other guests and the professional photographer.
Finally, if you are determined to make a scene, you can treat the wedding like a club. Make out with the bride's cousin or the groom's brother on the dance floor. If you really want to cause a stir, try getting physical with one of the happy couple—after all, what could be more dramatic than kissing the bride or groom themselves?
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Bring an uninvited plus-one
Bringing an uninvited plus-one to a wedding is a surefire way to cause chaos and disruption on someone's big day. If you really want to ruin a wedding, here's how you can do it by bringing an uninvited guest:
First, ignore the wedding invitation's wording. If the invitation is addressed only to you, assume that you can bring a plus-one. If the invitation specifically states "and guest" or includes your name and "plus one," you're definitely in the clear to bring an extra person. But even if it doesn't, you can still show up with an uninvited guest and create an awkward situation for the happy couple.
Now, choosing the right plus-one is essential for maximum chaos. If you want to go all out, bring someone who is the exact opposite of the wedding's theme and atmosphere. For example, if it's a formal and elegant wedding, bring a rowdy and unkempt friend who will stand out like a sore thumb. Or, if the couple has mentioned a strict no-children policy, bring a bunch of kids and watch as the couple scrambles to accommodate them.
To really stir things up, bring a plus-one who is sure to cause a scene. This could be that one friend who always drinks too much and starts arguments, or perhaps an ex-lover of the bride or groom, ready to create some serious drama. If you want to be more subtle, bring someone who is the opposite of the wedding's culture or traditions, causing confusion and discomfort among the guests.
When you arrive at the wedding with your uninvited plus-one, act surprised when the couple or wedding planner expresses concern. Feign ignorance and insist that you thought it was okay to bring a guest. Make a scene at the entrance, demanding to be seated together, even if it means taking someone else's seat. If the couple or wedding planner tries to accommodate you, demand an extra slice of cake for your plus-one, insisting that they are a very special guest.
Throughout the wedding, make sure your plus-one draws attention to themselves. Encourage them to give a drunken speech, interrupt the ceremony with their antics, or flirt with the married bridesmaids or groomsmen. If your plus-one can cause a big enough scene, you might even get them kicked out, leaving a lasting memory of their chaos at the wedding.
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Make an inappropriate speech
If you want to make an inappropriate wedding speech, there are several ways to go about it. Firstly, ignore the fact that the wedding is about the couple and make it all about you. Announce your engagement, pregnancy, new job, or any other personal news that will shift the focus away from the couple.
Secondly, use inappropriate language. Dropping F-bombs or cursing excessively will not only make the couple uncomfortable but will also put the guests in an awkward position, especially those with children or older guests.
Thirdly, get drunk. Not just a little tipsy, but completely blithering drunk. That way, you'll slur your words, forget what you're saying, and stumble your way through the speech, leaving the audience feeling embarrassed for you.
Another tactic is to tell inappropriate stories from the past. Try to bring up embarrassing or controversial incidents involving the bride or groom that will make them squirm and their families fume. If you're the younger sibling of one of the betrothed, you could try to be funny and witty, but take it too far and become inappropriate.
Finally, wing it. Don't prepare your speech in advance, and instead, rely on your improvisational skills. Wander off on tangents, stumble over your words, and end abruptly. This will ensure your speech is memorable for all the wrong reasons. Remember, the goal is to ruin the wedding, and making an inappropriate speech is a surefire way to achieve that.
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Get engaged
Getting engaged is a sure-fire way to ruin someone else's wedding. It is the ultimate thunder-stealing move and is considered extremely tacky. If you are planning to do this, be prepared to face the wrath of the bride and groom, as well as the entire wedding party. It is seen as a huge no-no and will undoubtedly cause upset and anger.
If you are going to go down this route, be aware that you will be taking the spotlight away from the happy couple and making the day about you and your partner. This is a sure way to upset the bride and groom and cause a rift in your relationship with them. It is also likely to cause division among the guests, who will feel conflicted about celebrating your news when they are supposed to be focusing on the wedding at hand.
To make this move, you could enlist the help of your partner's ex-partner, à la Tilly in Sophie Andrews' book, *How to Ruin a Wedding*. In the book, Tilly gets her partner's ex on board to help break up the wedding and win back their former love. This is a sure way to cause drama and upset, and will no doubt ruin the wedding.
Another way to use your engagement to ruin a wedding is to simply announce it to the guests. This will cause a stir and divert attention away from the happy couple. You could do this during a lull in the day, such as when dinner has started and the bride and groom are busy greeting guests. This will cause a commotion and leave a lasting impression on the wedding day, with you at the centre of it.
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Frequently asked questions
Some ways to ruin a wedding are by wearing a wedding dress, interrupting speeches with attention-grabbing antics, or getting engaged.
Touching the wedding cake, wearing white, and making a scene during a speech are all ways to ruin a wedding.
Bringing a plus-one can ruin a wedding if the couple wanted to only invite close friends and family, the reception space is small, or there are budget constraints.
To avoid ruining a wedding, refrain from making out on the dance floor with the bride's cousin or the groom's brother, and be considerate of the couple's wishes.
