Deborah Chan
If you've received a wedding invitation with an RSVP card that includes an M followed by a line, you may be wondering what that means. The M is simply the beginning of the person's title—Mr., Miss, Mrs., or Ms.—which would then be followed by the person's name. While this tradition may seem confusing or outdated, it is still used in formal wedding invitations. When responding to a wedding RSVP, it's important to do so as soon as possible, but at least by the deadline listed on the invite, which is typically two to three weeks before the wedding. This allows the couple to receive a final headcount and make the necessary arrangements. You can respond to RSVPs through printed cards, online websites, or emails, ensuring you follow the couple's instructions.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Purpose of the letter 'M' | The letter 'M' is intended to be the start of the person's title (Mr., Miss, Mrs., Ms., Mx.) and is followed by the person's name. |
| Response deadline | Guests should respond by the deadline listed on the invite, typically two to three weeks before the wedding. Late RSVPs can lead to not having a seat or meal at the wedding. |
| Response method | RSVPs can be in the form of printed cards, online websites, or emails. |
| Response content | Guests should fill out all fields, including their name, the number of people attending, and any other information requested by the couple (e.g., entrée choice). |
| Declining an invitation | It is proper etiquette to respond with a "No" or "regrets" and send a gift from the couple's registry. |
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What You'll Learn
The 'M' is for Mr., Miss, Mrs. or Ms
The letter "M" on a wedding RSVP card is intended to indicate the start of a person's title, such as Mr., Miss, Mrs., or Ms., which is then followed by the person's name. For example, "M_ r. and Mrs. Joseph Andersen" or "M_ r. and Mr. Jameson Fillmore". This practice is, however, considered outdated by some, who suggest replacing the "M" with "Name" or leaving a blank line instead.
When responding to a wedding RSVP, it is important to do so promptly and by the deadline specified by the couple. It is also essential to follow the couple's instructions and their preferred method of response, which could be through printed cards, online websites, or emails. If you are unable to attend, it is proper etiquette to formally decline the invitation by responding with a “No" or "regrets". It is considered impolite to submit a late RSVP or, worse, to not respond at all.
In the case of married couples, tradition dictates that the husband's title and full name are used first, followed by the wife's title and name. However, this tradition can be disregarded, and the RSVP can be filled out in a way that makes the couple most comfortable. For same-sex couples, the formatting remains the same, using the appropriate titles and names.
It is worth noting that the response card is used to tally the number of guests and accepted invitations. Therefore, it is crucial to clearly list the first and last names of all attending guests. If there is a space to indicate the number of attendees, be sure to fill that out as well. This information helps the couple with their seating plan and confirming the final headcount with vendors.
While a simple "yes" or "no" can be sufficient, it is more polite to write a gracious personal message to the couple, expressing your acceptance or regrets. You can also include additional information, such as your entree choice or a song request, if requested by the couple.
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Only those invited should respond and attend
When responding to a wedding RSVP, it is important to remember that only those who have been specifically invited should reply and confirm their attendance. This is a common courtesy to the couple getting married and helps ensure an accurate headcount for the event.
If you are invited as a guest, it is customary to respond to the RSVP with a simple "M" to indicate that you will be attending. This is an abbreviation of the French word "monsieur," which translates to "sir." Responding with an "M" is a traditional and respectful way to confirm your attendance at the wedding.
However, it is important to note that you should only respond with an "M" if you are the invited guest. If you were not invited by name, it is inappropriate to assume that you are included in the invitation. Wedding guest lists are carefully considered and planned, and it is important to respect the couple's wishes and decisions regarding their guest list.
If you are not sure whether you are invited, it is always best to clarify with the couple or their wedding planner directly. It is inappropriate to assume that you are included in someone else's invitation or to ask the invited guest to bring you as their plus-one. Respect the couple's decisions and understand that they may have limitations or specific plans for their guest list.
In some cases, the wedding invitation may include a response card with options to accept or decline the invitation. If you are not the invited guest, do not fill out this card or indicate that you plan to attend. Again, only those who have been specifically invited should respond and confirm their attendance.
By following these guidelines, you can ensure that you are respecting the couple's wishes and contributing to the smooth planning of their special day. Remember, wedding guest lists are carefully curated, and your cooperation is essential to ensuring a well-organized and enjoyable celebration for the couple and their invited guests.
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Respond by the deadline
Responding to an RSVP by the deadline is not only courteous but also essential for the couple's wedding planning. It is best to respond as soon as possible, but at the very least, by the deadline stated on the invitation. This deadline is usually set around two to four weeks before the wedding, giving the couple and vendors enough time to finalise arrangements, such as the amount of food and drinks needed and the seating chart.
When responding to an RSVP, it is important to follow the couple's instructions and preferred method of reply, whether it be online, by post, or via email to a dedicated wedding email address. It is also helpful to include any additional requested information, such as food preferences and dietary requirements, the number of guests, and any other details specified by the couple.
If you are unable to attend, it is important to formally decline the invitation by the deadline. Do not assume that silence will convey your absence, as this creates an inconvenience for the couple and may impact their planning and arrangements. It is considered impolite and may even result in you not having a seat or meal at the wedding, as vendors require a final headcount by a certain date.
In some cases, the couple or their representatives may reach out to guests who have not responded by the deadline. This is not uncommon, as some guests may forget or lose their RSVP cards. They may contact guests via phone, text, email, or social media, politely requesting a response and reminding them of the deadline. It is advisable to respond to these requests promptly to avoid any further inconvenience.
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Follow the couple's instructions
The most important thing to do when responding to a wedding RSVP is to follow the couple's instructions. This will ensure that your RSVP is received and that you have a seat at the wedding. Wedding RSVPs can take the form of printed cards, online websites, or emails, so be sure to respond via the host's preferred method.
If the couple has provided an email address for responses, be sure to respond to that email address, even if you have a different email address for the couple saved in your contacts. It's likely that the couple has created a dedicated email address for the wedding to make it easier to keep track of responses.
When responding to a wedding RSVP, it's important to respond as soon as possible. The RSVP deadline is typically two to three weeks before the wedding, which gives the couple enough time to get a final headcount and make arrangements as needed. Late RSVPs can not only be impolite but may also result in you not having a seat or meal at the wedding, as wedding vendors require a final headcount by a particular date.
If you're declining an invitation, it's proper etiquette to respond via the host's preferred method with a "no" or "regrets". It's never okay to not respond at all. If you're particularly close to the couple, it can also be a nice gesture to send them a handwritten note or call them to express your regrets in addition to formally declining the invitation.
When filling out the RSVP, be sure to include your name and the number of people who will be attending. For married couples, tradition dictates that you lead with the husband's title and use his first and last name, followed by "and Mrs." and the wife's first name. For same-sex couples or unmarried couples, the formatting is the same, using Mr. or Ms. as appropriate.
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Don't add additional guests
When responding to a wedding RSVP, it is important to remember that only those to whom the invitation is addressed should respond and/or attend the celebration. Here are some tips to handle additional guests:
Be Clear and Direct
Be straightforward and politely inform the guest that you are unable to accommodate their additional guests. Explain that the number of people invited is limited due to venue capacity, budget constraints, or any other relevant reasons. You can say something like, "I would have loved to accommodate your additional guests, but we are limited by our venue's capacity and our budget."
Provide Alternatives
If possible, offer alternatives to include the additional guests. For example, you could suggest that they can join for the ceremony only or recommend nearby accommodations where the additional guests could stay if they still wish to travel to the wedding destination.
Set Expectations Early
When sending out invitations, clearly communicate the number of guests invited per response. You can write, "We have reserved two seats in your honour" or "You are invited, plus one." This sets clear expectations and reduces the likelihood of guests assuming they can bring additional people.
Follow Up with Non-Responsive Guests
If you have guests who have not responded to the RSVP, reach out to them directly to confirm their attendance and the number of guests they plan to bring. This will help you manage your guest list and ensure that you have an accurate headcount for planning purposes.
Be Consistent and Firm
It is important to maintain consistency and firmness in your response to additional guests. While it may be challenging, it is crucial to stick to your guest list and venue limitations for a smooth and well-organized event.
Remember, it is essential to respond promptly and politely to RSVPs, and providing a clear explanation for not accommodating additional guests will help ensure a positive experience for both the invitees and the happy couple.
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Frequently asked questions
If you've been allotted a plus one, write your name first, then your guest's full name. If there's nowhere to RSVP, respond in the manner that is asked.
Type the URL provided on the invitation into your browser and follow the steps provided. If there's no URL, include RSVP instructions on your wedding invitations.
It's important to let the hosts know by declining their invitation formally. Respond with a “No” and an explanation if appropriate. It's also good etiquette to send a gift from their registry in your absence.
Respond as soon as possible, but at least by the RSVP deadline listed on the invite. The deadline should be two to three weeks before the wedding.
