Lyla Dejesus
When it comes to wedding RSVPs, the inclusion of children can be a tricky topic. Some couples choose to explicitly state no kids on their invitations or website, while others assume that guests will understand based on the names listed on the invite. Miscommunication can occur when guests assume their children are invited or when they add their children to the RSVP without clarification. To avoid confusion, couples can address each family member by name on the invitation, making it clear who is invited. They can also include a line on the RSVP card for the number of adults and children attending, or specify that the event is adults-only. Some couples may need to know the ages of the children for pricing or meal selection, so they might reach out to parents directly or include a request for age information on the RSVP card. Ultimately, the couple's preference for a child-free wedding should be respected, and guests should pay attention to the names listed on the invitation when responding to the RSVP.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| How to address the invitation | Address the invite to each member of the family by name to make it clear that they should RSVP for each person. |
| How to indicate that kids are welcome | Include a line on the RSVP card that says "# adults" and "# children attending" |
| How to indicate that kids are not welcome | Address the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs." instead of "The [last name] family", include an insert card that says "no kids allowed", and/or put "Adult Reception" or "Adults only" on the invitation. |
| How to handle non-compliance | Politely message the guests to clarify that it is a child-free event and that their child won't be accommodated. |
| How to ask about children's ages | Include a line on the RSVP that says "Please note your child's age for children 10 and under" or simply reach out to parents individually after receiving the RSVP. |
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What You'll Learn
How to address wedding invitations to families with children
When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, it's important to be clear about who is invited to avoid any confusion. Here are some guidelines to follow:
Be Explicit About Who Is Invited
If you are inviting the entire family, including children, make sure to include their names on the invitation. For families with multiple children, you can address the invitation to "The [Last Name] Family". Alternatively, list the children's names individually on the invitation or include "and Family" after the parents' names.
Specify Whether Children Are Invited or Not
If you are not inviting children, it is best to make this clear on the invitation. One way to do this is by addressing the invitation only to the parents, using "Mr. and Mrs." or their first names, without mentioning the children. This implies that the children are not included in the invitation. However, be prepared for some guests to still assume their children are welcome, so you may need to follow up with a gentle reminder.
Use Inner Envelopes for Clarity
Inner envelopes can be useful when inviting families with children. On the outer envelope, address the parents by their names, and on the inner envelope, include the children's names. This makes it clear who is invited while still being respectful and considerate.
Consider Age Appropriateness
If you are inviting children who are 18 or older, they should typically receive their own invitations. For younger children, use "Miss" for females under 18 and "Master" for males under 14. You can also simply use their first names along with their parents' names.
Provide Additional Communication
If you are having a child-free wedding, it is a good idea to communicate this clearly through other channels as well. You can add a message to your wedding website or ask your immediate family and wedding party to help spread the word. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
Be Prepared for Misunderstandings
Despite your best efforts, some guests may still misinterpret your invitation. Be prepared to handle these situations gracefully. If a guest adds their child to the RSVP, reach out to them kindly and explain that it is a child-free event, offering understanding and suggesting alternative arrangements if needed.
Remember, the most important thing is to be clear and considerate in your invitations. By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your guests understand your intentions and can plan their attendance accordingly.
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Ways to politely inform guests that children are not allowed
It's important to remember that not all guests will be familiar with wedding etiquette, so it's crucial to communicate your "no kids" policy clearly and politely. Here are some ways to politely inform your guests that children are not allowed at your wedding:
- Use clear and specific language on your wedding website: Be transparent about your adults-only policy on your wedding website. Include a FAQ section that addresses your decision and provides details about the age groups that cannot attend. This gives guests with children enough time to make necessary arrangements.
- Address your invitations carefully: Only write the specific names of those you're inviting. For example, address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan" and the inner envelope to "Mike and Annie." This makes it clear that their children are not included in the invitation.
- Provide a gentle reminder on the reception card: Instead of explicitly stating "no children" on the invitation, use subtle phrases like "intimate ceremony" or "cocktail reception" at a "luxury hotel" or "downtown nightclub" to suggest a child-free event. You can also add a note on the reception card, such as, "To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children."
- Offer babysitting alternatives: Consider hiring a babysitter at the guest hotel or providing recommendations for babysitting options in the area. This shows that you understand the challenges for guests with children and are willing to help find solutions.
- Handle RSVPs with grace: If a guest adds their child to the RSVP, gently clarify your adults-only policy. You can say something like, "Hi [Guest Name], we received your RSVP, and we think there might have been a miscommunication. Unfortunately, we won't be able to accommodate children at the event. We understand if this changes your ability to attend, but we hope you can still join us. Please let us know if you need help securing a sitter."
- Stand firm but be sensitive: Once you've decided on a "no kids" policy, don't waver. Be consistent to avoid damaging relationships. At the same time, be sensitive when dealing with upset parents, and remember that your wedding day is about celebrating with the people you and your partner choose to invite.
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Strategies to ensure guests RSVP and indicate the number of children attending
When it comes to ensuring guests RSVP and indicate the number of children attending, there are several strategies you can employ:
Clear Communication:
Firstly, ensure that your invitations are crystal clear about who is invited. Address the invitations specifically to those invited, using names. For couples with children, address the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs." followed by their surname. This makes it explicit that children are not included.
Pre-filling RSVP Cards:
Some suggest pre-filling the number of guests attending on the RSVP card to avoid confusion. For example, you could write "We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honour" and fill in the blank with the appropriate number. This way, guests understand how many seats have been allocated to them.
Online Platforms:
In addition to mailed invitations, consider creating a website or Facebook event page dedicated to your wedding. This can make it easier for guests to RSVP and may increase response rates, especially among those who are more tech-savvy.
Follow-up Communication:
If you receive an RSVP that includes unexpected children, it's important to communicate directly with the guests. A polite message or phone call can clarify any misunderstandings. For example, you could say, "Hi [Guest Name], we received your RSVP, and wanted to clarify that, unfortunately, we won't be having children at the event. We understand if this changes your ability to attend, but we hope you can still make it. Please let us know if you need to adjust your RSVP."
Timing:
It's important to give guests enough time to plan, especially if they have children and need to make travel arrangements. Sending "Save the Date" notices is a good idea, and it's customary to request RSVPs no more than six weeks in advance.
Remember, clear and direct communication is key to ensuring your guests understand your expectations regarding RSVPs and the number of children attending.
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Dealing with unexpected children at the wedding
It is perfectly acceptable to have an adults-only wedding. It is your wedding and your rules, so don't be afraid to tell your loved ones there will be no kids at your wedding. However, it is important to inform your guests about this decision as early as possible. When sending out your save-the-dates, include an FAQ section on your wedding website that addresses your decision. This gives anyone with children time to hire a sitter.
It is also important to be clear and direct about your wishes. Address your wedding invitations properly and include an adults-only announcement on your wedding website. You can also include two layers of communication on the wedding invitation to ensure clarity. For example, only put the couple's name on the outer envelope, and then, on an included reception card, note that it is an adults-only reception.
Despite your best efforts, you may still have unexpected child guests at your wedding. Here are some ways to handle this situation:
- Let the parents know your reasoning. For example, you may have to invite all the children if you invite one, and there are too many kids. Or, the venue may have some elements that aren't child-proof.
- Have some local babysitters on hand that can watch the child so the parents can still attend.
- If you have understanding friends, let them know the situation and move them to a different seat, buying them coffee after the wedding.
- Inform catering immediately, as they will usually have a little extra food built in but will need to portion it appropriately.
- Try to squeeze the unexpected child into the group's table that they are associated with.
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Asking for children's ages on the RSVP
When it comes to wedding RSVPs, there are a few different approaches you can take to handle the inclusion of children. It is worth noting that some guests may not pay attention to the names on the invitation, so it is important to be clear about who is invited. Here are some suggestions for asking about the ages of children on the RSVP:
Firstly, you could include a line on the RSVP card for guests to indicate the number of children attending and their ages. This approach is direct and provides clear information for planning purposes. For example, the card could say: "# adults attending", "# children attending, and their ages". This allows guests to provide the ages without specifically listing the names of the children.
Another option is to provide meal options on the RSVP card, including a specific option for children. This approach was suggested by a user on WeddingWire, who mentioned that their venue offered free meals for children under 5 and a discounted rate for children between 6 and 10. By listing a "Kids Meal (8 & under)" option, guests can indicate the number of children without explicitly stating their ages.
Alternatively, you can choose to address each member of the family by name on the invitation. This makes it clear who is invited and allows guests to RSVP for each person individually. For example, the invitation could say: "Dad, Mum, Son, and Daughter are invited". This approach ensures that guests understand that their children are welcome and can plan accordingly.
In some cases, you may prefer to have a separate conversation with the parents to inquire about the ages of their children. This can be done through phone calls or emails, especially if you already have a good idea of the approximate ages of the children. This approach may be useful if you are concerned about the cost of providing adult meals for all the children or if you need to know the number of people under 21 for alcohol pricing.
Finally, if you are providing on-site babysitting or a separate kids' reception, it is important to clearly communicate this to your guests. You can include a line on the RSVP card or in the events description to let parents know that their children are welcome and that childcare will be available. This approach ensures that parents are aware of the options and can plan their attendance accordingly.
In conclusion, there are several ways to handle asking for children's ages on the RSVP. The key is to provide clear and welcoming communication, allowing your guests to understand your expectations and plan their attendance accordingly.
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Frequently asked questions
How do I ask about children on my RSVP cards if kids are allowed?
What if guests RSVP for their children even though they are not invited?
How far in advance should I ask for RSVPs?
