Deborah Chan
It's common for couples to have to send out RSVP reminders for their wedding. Guests may not realise they're late with their response and could be dealing with private issues that take precedence. It's important to keep your reminders light and friendly, and consider the different methods of communication that work best depending on your relationship with the guest and the formality of your wedding. For tech-savvy guests, a personalised email reminder is a good option, while a quick text reminder works well for close friends and family. A phone call may be more effective for older guests or those who prefer traditional communication. For a formal or large wedding, sending out physical RSVP reminder cards that match your wedding theme adds a touch of elegance. It's also a good idea to include the RSVP date on the front page of your wedding website, and you can also create a low-pressure reminder on social media.
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What You'll Learn
When to send reminders
When it comes to sending reminders about RSVPs, timing is crucial. The first reminder should be sent about two to four weeks before the RSVP deadline. This gives guests a nudge without making them feel rushed. If you sent out your invitations close to the wedding, your guests might need that extra time to figure out their plans.
If you still haven't received responses from guests, send a final reminder one week before the deadline. This reminder can be firmer in tone while still remaining polite. For example, you could mention that their prompt response is needed for a proper headcount for catering purposes.
If you're comfortable with social media, you can create a low-pressure reminder by posting an update about your wedding preparations and adding a line such as "RSVPs are due in 2 weeks!" This way, you can remind your guests without directly calling them out.
After the RSVP deadline has passed, you can send a message to those who haven't responded, letting them know that you would still love to have them at your wedding, but you need to hear from them soon. For example: "Hi! We noticed you haven't RSVP'd to our wedding, and our deadline was May 1st. Could you please let me know if you're planning on coming by the end of the day? We need final numbers for catering purposes. If I don't hear from you by then, I will mark you down as not attending. Hope to see you there!"
It's important to maintain a light, friendly, and considerate tone in your reminders, regardless of the method of communication.
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How to phrase reminders
When it comes to reminding guests to RSVP for a wedding, it's important to maintain a light, friendly, and considerate tone. Here are some suggestions for how to phrase these reminders:
Before the RSVP deadline:
- "Hi everyone! Just a quick reminder that we need your RSVPs by [date]. If you haven't done it yet, it's super easy — just go to [website URL]. We're so excited to see you all at the wedding!"
- "We're so excited to celebrate with you on [wedding date]! If you haven't already, please let us know if you'll be joining us by [RSVP deadline]. We can't wait to see you and hope to share this special day together!"
- "We hope you're planning to join us for our wedding on [wedding date]. If you haven't RSVP'd yet, please let us know by [RSVP deadline]. Thanks so much!"
After the RSVP deadline:
- "Hi! We noticed you haven't RSVP'd to our wedding, and our deadline was [date]. Could you please let me know if you're planning on coming by [date]? We need final numbers for catering purposes. If I don't hear from you by then, I will mark you down as not attending. Hope to see you soon!"
- "Hello! Just wanted to check in with you since we haven't received your RSVP back yet. Feel free to let me know via text or give me a call if that's easier for you."
- "Hi [name], friendly reminder to RSVP for our wedding. If we don't get a response within the next week, we won't be able to provide a plate for you, as we will assume you're unable to attend."
It's recommended to send reminders two to four weeks before the deadline. If guests still haven't responded after the deadline, a more direct approach can be taken while still remaining polite.
Additionally, different methods of communication can be used depending on the relationship with the guest and the formality of the wedding. For close friends and family, a quick text reminder or a phone call may be appropriate. For tech-savvy guests, a personalized email reminder can be sent. For formal or large weddings, physical RSVP reminder cards that match the wedding theme can be sent.
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Using social media
Social media is a great tool for reaching out to guests. However, it's important to remember that not all your guests may be on social media, so it's a good idea to diversify your methods of communication.
Before your RSVP deadline, keep your reminders light and friendly. If you're posting to social media, you could say something like:
> "Hi everyone! Just a quick reminder that [partner's name] and I need your RSVPs by [date]. If you haven't done it yet, it's super easy — just go to [wedding website link]. We're so excited to see you all at the wedding!"
You can also create a private Facebook group for wedding guests and post the odd reminder there.
However, it's best to avoid putting reminders as your status or making public posts tagging guests who haven't responded. This can be seen as rude, especially by those who aren't invited. Instead, send private messages to guests who haven't responded, as this is more personal and direct.
If you've been transparent about your wedding planning process online, you could make a post or story with a subtle mention of the deadline. For example:
> "We're only [insert number] weeks away from the big day! [Partner's name] and I can't wait for you all to see the venue and try the amazing food our caterer has planned. Don't forget to RSVP by [date] so we can save you a seat!"
If you're still waiting for responses after the deadline, it's time to follow up with guests individually. You can text, email, or send a private message on social media, politely explaining that your venue and caterer need a final headcount. For example:
> "Hi [guest's name]! We noticed you haven't RSVP'd to our wedding, and our deadline was [date]. Could you please let me know if you're planning on coming by [date]? We need final numbers for catering purposes. Hope to see you there!"
If you don't hear back, you may need to pick up the phone and call them. A phone call is more personal, and your guests will be able to hear the friendly tone of your voice, reducing the risk of your request being misinterpreted as rude or aggressive.
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In-person reminders
Another option is to give them a call. A phone call is a personal way to remind someone to RSVP as your guest can hear the friendly tone of your voice. It may be a good idea to mask the call as a simple hello, with a polite reminder such as:
> "By the way, [partner] and I would be so happy to see you at the wedding – do you think you can make it?"
You could also offer to help them fill out the form if they are having any issues. This is especially helpful for older guests who may be less familiar with digital RSVP forms.
If you are collecting online RSVPs, your guests can simply go on their phones and submit their responses when you are together in person. This way, you can guide them through the process and ensure their response is submitted.
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Following up after the deadline
It's completely normal for some guests to miss the RSVP deadline. You can follow up with them after the deadline, but be mindful of maintaining a friendly and considerate tone. Here are some ways to do this:
- Send a polite message to each guest, letting them know that the deadline has passed, but you would still love to have them at your wedding. You can mention that their response is needed for a proper headcount for catering purposes.
- If you've been sharing your wedding planning process online, you can make a subtle mention of the deadline on your social media stories. This way, you can remind your guests without making them feel singled out.
- For close friends and family, a quick text reminder or a phone call can be a good option. Keep the conversation lighthearted and informal.
- For older guests or those who prefer traditional communication, a personal phone call may be more effective.
- If you have a wedding website, you can also post a friendly reminder there.
"Hi! We noticed you haven't RSVP'd to our wedding, and our deadline was [date]. Could you please let me know if you're planning on coming by [date]? We need final numbers for catering purposes. If I don't hear from you by then, I will mark you down as not attending. Hope to see you there!"
"Hi everyone! Just a quick reminder that [names] need your RSVPs by [date]. If you haven't done it yet, it's super easy—just go to [website]. We're so excited to see you all at the wedding!"
"We're so excited to celebrate with you on [date]! If you haven't already, please let us know if you'll be joining us by [date]. We can't wait to see you and hope to share this special day together!"
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended that you send out reminders two to four weeks before your RSVP deadline. You can send a polite email or text message to each guest, reminding them of the deadline and that their response is needed for a headcount. You can also ask close family members and friends in person.
This depends on your relationship with the guest and the formality of your wedding. For tech-savvy guests, an email or text message is a good option. For older guests or those who prefer traditional communication, a phone call may be more appropriate.
It is important to maintain a light, friendly, and considerate tone in your message. You can express your excitement about the wedding and gently remind guests of the RSVP deadline. For example, you could say: "We're so excited to celebrate with you on [wedding date]! If you haven't already, please let us know if you'll be joining us by [RSVP deadline]."
You can send out your first gentle reminder three weeks before the RSVP deadline. If you're still waiting for responses, send a final reminder one week before the deadline. As the date approaches, your message can be firmer while remaining polite.
If guests haven't responded by the deadline, you can send them a message after the due date. Let them know that you need their response to finalise numbers for catering purposes and that you will assume they are not attending if you don't hear from them soon.
