Wedding invitation response cards are an essential part of the wedding planning process, helping couples manage their guest list and plan accordingly. Response cards are usually included with the wedding invitation, providing guests with a convenient way to confirm their attendance. They typically include spaces for guests to write their names, the number of attendees, and their meal preferences, if applicable. While traditional response cards are still common, modern alternatives such as digital RSVPs and wedding websites are also gaining popularity. This evolution in wedding etiquette offers a more streamlined and eco-friendly approach to managing guest lists and communicating important details. Whether opting for traditional or modern response methods, timely responses are crucial for accurate headcounts and seating arrangements.
What You'll Learn
How to word a wedding response card
Response or reply cards are included with a wedding invitation to get an accurate guest count for the reception. They are not used for ceremony-only invitations. The card and envelope are engraved or printed in the same style and paper stock as the invitation, but in a smaller size. It is a good idea to pre-address and stamp the reply envelope to make it easy for guests to RSVP by mail. If you prefer to receive replies by email or phone, include the necessary information on the response card and skip the envelope.
- Include a "reply by" date, usually two to three weeks before the wedding. This gives hosts time to follow up with guests who have yet to reply and provide accurate numbers to wedding vendors such as caterers.
- The response card usually begins with an "M" followed by a line. The "M" is intended to be the start of the person's title (Mr., Miss, Mrs., or Ms.), which is then followed by their name. However, some modern cards have replaced "M" with "Name" or left a blank line.
- For married couples, tradition dictates that you lead with the husband's title and name, followed by the wife's: "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Andersen". For same-sex couples, the formatting is the same: "Mr. and Mr. Jameson Fillmore". For unmarried couples, the woman would use "Ms." or "Miss" as her title: "Miss Marissa Porte and Mr. Henry Satre".
- If you are offering entrée choices, include a way for guests to indicate their preference, usually by writing their initials next to their selection.
- Guests should reply by the due date and as soon as possible. If they need to change their response after accepting, they should inform the couple immediately.
- If there is no response card included, guests can reply in writing or by email, following the wording of a formal invitation or writing a personal note.
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The importance of including a reply-by date
When creating a wedding invitation response card, it is important to include a reply-by date. This is crucial for several reasons and has multiple benefits for both the hosts and the guests.
Firstly, setting a deadline for responses helps the hosts to plan and make necessary arrangements for their wedding. Weddings require a lot of planning and preparation, and receiving timely responses from guests is essential for effective event management. By including a reply-by date, hosts can finalise their guest list, create a seating plan, and provide accurate headcounts to vendors, such as caterers. This ensures that the wedding runs smoothly and that all guests are comfortable.
Secondly, a reply-by date allows hosts to follow up with guests who have not yet responded. In some cases, guests may forget to send their response, or the invitation may get lost in transit. By setting a deadline, hosts can send reminders to those who have not replied, giving them ample time to do so. This helps to avoid last-minute confusion and ensures that no guest is left out.
Additionally, including a reply-by date encourages prompt responses from guests. It is considered courteous for guests to respond as soon as possible after receiving an invitation. The reply-by date serves as a gentle reminder and motivates guests to send their responses without delay. This timely response allows hosts to make informed decisions regarding various aspects of the wedding, such as catering options and venue size.
Moreover, the reply-by date assists in managing the wedding budget. Weddings can be costly, and having an idea of the number of guests attending helps couples allocate their resources effectively. An accurate guest count enables couples to avoid unnecessary expenses and the stress of last-minute arrangements.
Finally, including a reply-by date is a matter of respect and etiquette. By providing a deadline for responses, guests are more likely to show their appreciation for the hosts' efforts in organising the event. It also demonstrates respect for the couple's time and helps them communicate effectively with their guests, providing necessary information such as dress codes or transportation details.
In conclusion, including a reply-by date on a wedding invitation response card is of utmost importance. It ensures smooth planning and preparation for the hosts, encourages timely responses from guests, and fosters a respectful and considerate atmosphere for the entire event.
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How to indicate your food choice on an RSVP card
Including a food choice section on your RSVP card is a great way to ensure that your guests' dietary needs are met and reduce food waste. Here are some tips on how to indicate food choices on your RSVP cards:
Wording and Formatting
The key is to be as clear and organised as possible to avoid confusion. You can add a food choice section to the response card itself or include a separate enclosure card within your invitation suite. If you're offering a limited number of meal options, you can list them with checkboxes or blank lines for guests to indicate their preference. For example:
- Please initial a meal choice for each guest: Chicken [ ] Fish [ ] Beef [ ] Vegetarian [ ]
- Please indicate attendance and meal choice:
[Name] _________________
[ ] accept [ ] decline
[ ] Filet with Chicken [ ] Vegetarian [ ] Child plate
If you have a more extensive menu, you may want to consider providing a brief description of each dish to help your guests make their selection. For instance, instead of just "beef," specify "filet mignon."
Collecting Dietary Restrictions
Even if you're offering a buffet or family-style meal, it's a good idea to ask about dietary restrictions. You can include a fill-in-the-blank line for guests to detail any allergies or special requests. Here's an example:
Please advise of any food allergies or dietary restrictions: ______________________
Online RSVP
If you're using an online RSVP system through your wedding website, you can create additional fields to request each guest's meal choice and any dietary restrictions. This option saves paper and can make it easier to collect food preferences.
Other Considerations
When requesting food choices on your RSVP cards, keep in mind that guests might change their minds or prefer a different option on the day of the wedding. It's a good idea to provide your caterer with a final headcount and meal choices, but they can also bring a few extra servings of each dish to accommodate last-minute changes. Additionally, consider using place cards with meal choices indicated to ensure that each guest receives their preferred dish.
Remember, including a food choice section on your RSVP cards is a practical way to gather important information from your guests, and it's no longer considered "tacky." By planning ahead and providing clear options, you can ensure that your guests' dietary needs are accommodated, and your caterers are well-prepared.
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What to do if you can't attend the wedding
When creating a wedding invitation response card, it's important to include a response card to make it easier to keep track of your guest list. The response card should be printed in the same style as the invitation, but smaller, and it's a good idea to pre-address and stamp the reply envelope. You should also include a ""reply by" date, usually two to three weeks before the wedding.
If you can't attend the wedding, it's important to let the couple know as soon as possible. Here are some tips on what to do if you can't attend:
- Have a meaningful excuse: Let the couple know that you can't attend due to major outside circumstances such as illness or travel plans affected by the weather.
- Inform the couple as soon as possible: Let the couple know as soon as you know you can't attend. This is important for the caterer, rental company, and bartender to provide sufficient supplies. If it's very last minute, it's recommended to contact the wedding planner or a close friend of the couple instead, so they can adjust the seating chart without bothering the couple.
- Send a heartfelt note or call: Express your apologies and avoid making excuses. It's also a nice gesture to send a wedding gift.
- Stick to your decision: Once you've RSVP'd and declined, it's important to stick to your decision as it can be difficult for the couple to rearrange things.
- Be respectful and sincere: When responding, be respectful and sincere. There's no need to overexplain, but a brief explanation is appreciated.
- Consider a gift or celebration: If you're close to the couple, consider sending a gift or flowers with your response. You can also suggest celebrating with them at another time, showing your interest in their lives.
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How to respond to a wedding invitation without a response card
When responding to a wedding invitation without a response card, it is important to follow certain etiquette guidelines to ensure your reply is prompt, clear, and respectful. Here are some steps to follow:
- Respond promptly: A guest's first duty is to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. Check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation, and make your response promptly. This allows the couple to invite someone else if you can't make it.
- Understand the format: If there is no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. Your response should typically include two parts: the number of guests attending and their names.
- Written response format: Written responses should follow a formal invitation format. For a more formal response: "Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June." For a more casual response to close friends or family: "Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend Margaret and Tom's wedding on June nineteenth. Yours sincerely, Brittany."
- Email response format: If responding by email, follow a similar format but adjust the tone to match the couple's relationship with you. Address the couple using their first names and sign off with your name and the names of your guests.
- Indicate any dietary restrictions: If you have any serious allergies, it is considerate to call the couple or offer to contact the planner or caterer directly to discuss options. For dietary preferences or sensitivities, it is best to be flexible and accommodating.
- Inform the couple of any changes: If you accept the invitation but later realize you cannot attend, it is essential to inform the couple immediately. This courtesy allows them to adjust their plans, catering, and seating arrangements.
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Frequently asked questions
Response cards should include the number of guests attending, the names of those guests, and a short personal note to the couple. If you're offering entrée choices, include a way for guests to indicate their preference.
RSVP cards on Greetings Island are 5" x 3.5" in portrait or landscape and 5" x 5" as a square card.
Wedding invitations should arrive 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding, and the RSVP deadline date should be set 3 to 4 weeks prior to the wedding.