Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Adults-Only Wording

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is a tricky guest list question. If you've decided to have an adults-only wedding, there are a few ways to communicate this to your guests. While it's not recommended to explicitly state adults-only on the invitation, you can use subtle wording to suggest a child-free event, such as intimate ceremony or cocktail reception. You can also address the invitation to the adult guests only, and include an inner envelope to clarify the names of the invited. Another option is to include a note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards, with wording such as Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock or Please note this will be an adults-only celebration. You could also add a count on the RSVP cards, with a line such as We have reserved [X] seats in your honour.

Address envelopes to parents only

If you're inviting parents with their children, the outer envelope should only list the parents' names. This is the best way to indicate that only the parents are invited to the wedding.

For a heterosexual married couple, the outer envelope could read: "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez". If the couple has different last names, the outer envelope could be addressed as: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". For same-sex married couples, the outer envelope could be addressed as: "Messrs. Jon and Alex Paul" or "Mesdames Molly and Jenny Lee".

If the couple is unmarried but living at the same address, both names should be included on one line. For instance, "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee". If the couple is unmarried and living at different addresses, the outer envelope could be: "Ms. Molly Lee" (first line) and "Mr. Alex Paul" (second line).

If you are using inner and outer envelopes, the inner envelope is more informal. You can choose to include or exclude titles and last names. For instance, "Thomas and Michelle" or "Mr. and Mrs. Warren".

If you are using a single outer envelope, write the guest's complete and formal name and complete mailing address. Children under 18 should be included under their parents' names, from oldest to youngest.

Include adults only on the wedding invitations

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky part of planning your big day. If you've decided on an adults-only affair, there are a few ways to communicate this to your guests.

Firstly, it's important to be clear and consistent about the parameters you've set. Decide on an "age rule" and stick to it—for example, no guests under 16 or 18. If you plan on making exceptions for children in the wedding party or infants, it's a good idea to decide this upfront and communicate it to your guests to avoid any confusion.

When addressing your invitations, only include the names of those invited on the envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez," not "The Chavez Family." Using inner envelopes can further clarify the names of the invited guests. You can also include the number of guests invited on the RSVP cards to avoid any confusion.

If you want to be explicit about your adults-only request, it's best to include a note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards. Here are some examples of wording for these cards:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• "The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to restricted numbers."

If you have a wedding website, this is another great place to communicate your adults-only request. You can include an FAQ page with a question like, "Can we bring kids?" and clearly state your preference for an adults-only event.

Finally, be prepared to have difficult conversations. If guests RSVP for their entire family, give them a call and politely explain that the invitation is only for the parents. You can cite space limitations, venue restrictions, or budget constraints as reasons for your decision.

Remember, it's your special day, and you can decide who you want to share it with. By being clear and consistent in your communication, you can avoid any confusion and ensure your guests understand your adults-only request.

State the age limit

Deciding on an age limit for your wedding can be a tricky task, but it's important to be clear and consistent about the parameters you set. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you communicate your age limit effectively:

Be Clear and Consistent:

Decide on a specific age limit and stick to it. For example, you could choose "adults only (18+)" or "no guests under 16". This will help your guests understand exactly who is invited. Making exceptions can lead to confusion and upset, so it's best to avoid them unless absolutely necessary.

Address Invitations Properly:

When addressing your invitations, only include the names of those who are invited. Use inner envelopes or name bands to list the invited guests clearly. For example, address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan" and the inner envelope to "Mike and Annie". This makes it clear that only the parents are invited and not their children.

Include a Note or Card:

If you want to be extra clear, include a note or information card with your invitations. You can use phrases such as "adults-only reception" or "children over 16 years of age only". This helps to ensure that your guests understand your age limit and can plan accordingly.

Provide Details on Your Wedding Website:

Most couples have a wedding website where guests can find additional information. Include an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?". Clearly state your age limit and provide a reason if you wish. For example, "While we love your children, due to budget and space constraints, we kindly request that only adults attend."

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations:

Despite your best efforts, some guests may still be confused or upset about the age limit. Be prepared for difficult conversations and politely explain your decision. You can cite space limitations, venue restrictions, or simply say that you want your guests to be able to relax and enjoy themselves without worrying about their children.

Offer Childcare Options:

If you want to go the extra mile, consider providing childcare options for your guests. You can book a childcare provider and set aside a room for the kids, especially if your reception is at a hotel. This will be greatly appreciated by your guests and may even encourage more of them to attend.

Make it clear from the outset who is included

When it comes to making it clear from the outset who is included in your wedding, the focus should be on how you address your invitations rather than the specific wording used. Here are some tips to ensure your guests understand who is invited:

Addressing the Invitations

The best solution to clearly addressing your invitations is to use a name band. Name bands are paper wraps that are digitally printed with your guest names and wrapped around your invitation suite. They allow you to list the names of each invited guest, avoiding any confusion over "plus ones" or children.

If name bands are outside your budget, another option is to be strategic about how you address the envelopes. Only those listed on the inner envelope are invited to the wedding, so you can make it clear from the outset who is included. For example, address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan" and the inner envelope to "Mike and Annie." This way, it is clear that only Mike and Annie are invited, and their children are not included.

Including Guest Names on RSVP Cards

Another way to ensure clarity is to include the names of invited guests directly on the RSVP cards. You can add a count, such as "___ of ___ guests," and fill in the second line with the number of guests included in each invitation. This prevents additional people from being added and avoids any confusion.

Providing Additional Information

If you have room, you can include additional information on an information card. This can be a great way to provide more details about your "adults-only" request and put your guests' minds at ease. For example, you can mention babysitting options or refer them to your wedding website for more information.

Wedding Website FAQ

Most couples have wedding websites that provide comprehensive details about their upcoming wedding. Be sure to include an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" Clearly state your preference for an adults-only event, and consider providing information for a local babysitting agency or childcare options.

By using these strategies, you can effectively communicate your "adults-only" request and ensure that your guests understand who is included in the invitation from the outset.

Be consistent about the parameters

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky question. If you've decided your wedding will be adults-only, it's important to be clear and consistent about the parameters to avoid any confusion or upset guests. Here are some tips to help you communicate your wishes effectively:

Be Clear About the Age Limit: Decide on the age limit for your wedding and be consistent. For example, you could choose "no guests under 18" or "no guests under 21". Communicate this age limit clearly to your guests.

Address Invitations Specifically: When addressing your invitations, only include the names of the invited guests on the envelope. For example, address it to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" instead of "The Chavez Family". This makes it clear that only the parents are invited, not their children.

Use Inner Envelopes: Consider using inner envelopes to further clarify who is invited. Include the names of each invited guest on the inner envelope, leaving no room for ambiguity.

Provide an RSVP Count: On your RSVP cards, you can add a count to indicate the number of invited guests. For example, you can write "___ of ___ guests" and fill in the second line with the number of invited guests.

Include a Note on the Invitation Suite: If you want to be extra clear, consider adding a note to your invitation suite. This could be on the reception card or map, subtly indicating that the event is adults-only. For example, you could write, "Leave the kiddos at home. We adore your children, but our venue doesn't have room for little ones."

Be Consistent with Exceptions: If you plan to make any exceptions, such as including children in the wedding party or infants under a certain age, be consistent and communicate this clearly to your guests. For example, you could include a note on your website or inform your close family members and wedding party about the exceptions.

By being consistent about the parameters, you can effectively communicate your adults-only wedding plans to your guests and avoid any misunderstandings or hard feelings. Remember, it's your special day, and you can decide what's best for you and your partner!

Frequently asked questions