Best Man's Guide: Perfect Toast Proposal

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the main duties of the best man is to propose a toast to the newlyweds. This can be a daunting task, but with some preparation and a sincere message, it can be a meaningful and memorable moment.

The key to a successful toast is to keep it brief and heartfelt. It's important to plan your remarks in advance, considering how the couple has affected your life and what they mean to you. Avoid the temptation to wing it, as this can lead to rambling or nerves getting the better of you. Instead, jot down some notes or index cards to guide you. Remember, you're not giving a speech – just a sentence or two to honour the couple.

When the time comes, stand up, introduce yourself if necessary, and share a wish or compliment for the couple. You might include a brief anecdote or story that reflects their relationship. Finally, invite everyone to raise their glasses and join you in toasting the happy couple.

By following these simple steps, you'll deliver a toast that adds warmth and joy to the wedding celebration.

Prepare in advance

Plan your toast

It's always best to plan your toast in advance. Spontaneous toasts can easily turn into long-winded rambles, especially if you've had a few drinks. Take some time in the days or weeks leading up to the wedding to think about what you want to say and get it down on paper or index cards. Make sure your writing is large and bold so that you can read your notes easily. If you need glasses to read, practice with your notes and glasses.

Know your audience

Remember that your toast should be inclusive, not exclusive. While it's fine to include an anecdote or two, avoid "inside jokes" that only half the audience will understand. You want to make everyone feel part of the celebration.

Keep it short and sweet

A three- to five-minute speech is perfect for a wedding toast. Any longer and you risk losing your audience's attention.

Be sincere

While it's fine to include a bit of humour in your toast, remember that sincerity is more important. It's harder to get right, but it will be remembered long after a joke falls flat. Focus on letting the groom know he matters to you.

Practice

Absolutely do make notes and practice your toast. If you're offering a toast at a formal or special event, being comfortable with what you're going to say will put everyone else at ease, too.

Be sincere, not funny

When proposing a toast as the best man at a wedding, it's important to lean towards sincerity over humour. While it can be tempting to try to be funny, humour is hard to get right, especially with a large and diverse crowd. At weddings, there are often people of all ages, from different walks of life and social circles. If you try to be funny, you may end up only appealing to a small portion of the audience.

Instead, aim for sincerity. This may be harder for some, but with preparation, you can pull off a sentimental salute without a hitch. Sincerity will be remembered far more fondly by the wedding couple than an ill-judged attempt at humour.

If you are naturally funny, then, by all means, include some humour in your speech. But remember, this is not a roast. It's not appropriate to embarrass the couple, even if you have a microphone! As Jeff Nussbaum of West Wing Writers says, "deliver it like a eulogy for two people who are still alive. The humour should be appreciative rather than embarrassing."

If you're stuck for inspiration, try to illustrate your compliments with an anecdote. For example, you could talk about how the groom lent you some money and his car when you went on your first date with the girl of your dreams, rather than just saying he was "always there for you."

Remember, it's all about the happy couple, not you!

Keep it short

Keeping your toast short is a key part of giving a successful speech. A long-winded speech will make your friends and family impatient and may even send them to sleep! The ideal length for a toast is around 30 to 90 seconds, or up to two minutes at most. Any longer and you risk losing your audience's attention.

To keep your toast short and focused, prepare in advance. Spontaneous toasts can easily become rambling and long-winded. Plan a simple structure with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Start with an attention-grabbing intro, share your main story or message, and finish with a heartfelt wish for the couple.

Keep your introductory remarks brief—no longer than a minute to a minute and a half. Raise your glass to eye level, then state a hope or wish for the person being honoured or the couple. Keep this part to two or three sentences, and ensure it's appropriate for the mood of the event.

If you're giving a best man's speech, the focus should be on the couple, not yourself. You might be the most interesting person in the room, but your job is to propose a toast to the newlyweds. Steer the focus back to them and their relationship, and keep it short and sweet.

Be inclusive

Being inclusive is a crucial aspect of proposing a toast as a best man. Here are some tips to ensure your toast is inclusive:

Ensure Everyone Has a Drink

While toasting with alcohol is traditional, it is not necessary. Be sure to include non-alcoholic options so that everyone can participate in the toast. This can include drinks such as ginger ale, bubbly drinks for children, or mocktails for teetotalers.

Avoid "Inside Jokes"

Remember that your audience likely includes people who don't know you or the groom well. Avoid inside jokes that only a small group will understand. Instead, focus on more general topics or anecdotes that will resonate with a broader audience.

Be Mindful of Absent Guests

If there are family members or close friends who are unable to attend, consider acknowledging them at the beginning of your toast. This shows thoughtfulness and inclusivity, and it sets a thoughtful tone for your speech.

Keep it Short and Sweet

A long-winded toast can lose people's interest. Aim for a duration of one to two minutes, or three to five minutes for a longer speech. This ensures your message is concise and memorable without monopolising the event.

Rehearse and Prepare

A well-prepared and rehearsed toast is more inclusive than an impromptu one. Take the time to plan what you want to say, how you want to say it, and rehearse it. This ensures your message is clear, concise, and engaging for all in attendance.

Show, don't tell

So, you're the best man at a wedding and you want to know how to propose a toast that is memorable and won't fall flat. Well, you've come to the right place. Here are some tips and tricks to help you deliver a toast that will wow the guests and, most importantly, honour the happy couple.

The key to a great best man's speech is to show, don't tell. This means that instead of simply stating that the groom is a great friend, illustrate this with a story or anecdote that will bring your words to life. For example, you could share a funny story about how you met or a time when the groom went out of his way to help you. This will not only showcase the groom's character but also make your speech more engaging and entertaining for the audience.

Another way to show, don't tell is to involve the guests. You could ask them to raise their glasses and propose a toast to the happy couple, or even get them to join you in a group cheer. This will create a sense of inclusion and make your speech more interactive.

Keep it Short and Sweet

When it comes to toasting, less is more. You want to capture the audience's attention and leave them wanting more, so aim for a speech that is no longer than 3-5 minutes. To achieve this, focus on one or two key messages that you want to convey and use anecdotes or stories to reinforce them. Practise your speech beforehand to ensure that it stays within the desired time frame.

Be Prepared

While it may be tempting to wing it, especially after a few drinks, a well-prepared speech will always be more effective. Take the time to plan what you want to say and how you want to say it. Write down your main points and key messages, and consider using index cards or notes to prompt you during your speech. This will help you stay focused and ensure that you don't ramble or forget what you want to say.

Know Your Audience

It's important to consider the audience when crafting your speech. The wedding guests will likely come from different backgrounds and generations, so avoid inside jokes or references that only a few people will understand. Opt for stories and anecdotes that are universally relatable and will resonate with a wide range of people.

Keep it Light and Sincere

While it's okay to include a touch of humour in your speech, avoid trying too hard to be funny. Instead, focus on delivering a sincere and heartfelt message. Share your genuine thoughts and wishes for the couple, and don't be afraid to show your emotions. This will create a more meaningful and memorable toast.

Timing is Everything

Choose the right moment to propose your toast. As the best man, you will usually give your speech during the reception, often after the maid of honour. Make sure you are familiar with the schedule so that you can plan your speech accordingly and don't end up speaking at an inappropriate time.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, a great best man's toast is one that comes from the heart, is well-prepared, and captures the essence of the groom and the couple. Remember to show, don't tell, and your speech will be sure to leave a lasting impression on the happy couple and their guests. Cheers to that!

Frequently asked questions