Planning Your Dream Lesbian Wedding: A Step-By-Step Guide

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and for LGBTQIA+ couples, there are often additional considerations. However, it's important to remember that this is your day, so you can do whatever you want! You might want to rip up the rulebook and do things your own unique way. You can be as traditional or unconventional as you like. You might want to look for inspiration on LGBTQIA+ wedding websites or in planning books that speak to you as a couple. You could also consider hiring a wedding planner with experience in same-sex weddings. When it comes to the ceremony, you can include community participation, such as having guests read poetry or recite blessings. You can also choose to write your own vows or have a professional write them for you. In addition to the ceremony, there are lots of other elements to think about, from choosing the perfect location to selecting your wedding attire and styling the day. You'll also need to think about the practicalities, such as budgeting and whether to come out to your vendors.

Choosing a venue and attire

Venue

When selecting a venue, think about locations that resonate with your personalities and offer inclusive environments where you and your partner can fully embrace your love story. From vibrant cityscapes to serene natural settings, the options are endless. Consider an intimate beach wedding by the ocean, a rustic barn in the countryside, or a chic urban rooftop. If you have a beloved pet, look for a venue that will allow them to be a part of your special day.

Attire

The bridal bouquet holds double the significance in a lesbian wedding, representing both individual beauty and the intertwining of two hearts and souls. Consider choosing two distinct bouquets or opting for a joint flower arrangement that symbolises your shared love.

When it comes to wedding attire, you can be as traditional or unconventional as you like. Wear wedding dresses, suits, or even jumpsuits in matching or complementary colours and fabrics. If you want to shake things up, you can shop and choose your outfits together, creating a unique style that reflects your personality and relationship. If white isn't your colour, have fun with a rainbow theme or bright and bold colours. Don't forget to accessorise, with matching cufflinks, bouquets, flower crowns, socks, or jackets.

Remember, this is your day, so do whatever feels right for you. Be creative, have fun with it, and make it a true reflection of your love and commitment to each other.

Budgeting and paying

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and budgeting is a crucial part of the process. While it's an exciting time, it's important to remember that you don't want to start married life with huge financial pressure.

Traditionally, the bride's family would pay for the wedding, but this is now an outdated notion, especially for same-sex couples. Many couples now pay for their own weddings, and this is even more common for lesbian weddings. If your families are supportive, it's a good idea to talk to them about their expectations and contributions. You can then decide how to split the costs.

You may also want to consider whether you want to be open about being a same-sex couple with your vendors. This is a personal decision, but if you feel comfortable, it may help you find vendors who have experience with LGBTQ+ weddings and can better understand your vision.

When budgeting, it's essential to set a realistic amount that you can afford. You can then allocate this money to the various elements of your wedding, such as the venue, catering, wedding planner, florist, cake designer, transportation, and other services.

To save money, you could opt for digital invitations instead of paper ones. You could also choose to do your own wedding shopping together, rather than separately, to ensure you both get what you want within your budget.

Wedding party attire and roles

When it comes to wedding party attire and roles, you can be as traditional or unconventional as you like. If you want to stick to the traditional wedding party of a bride, groom, best man, maid of honour, ushers and bridesmaids, you can. However, you may want to opt for a mixed wedding party, which is perfect if you have close friends of all genders.

If you want to follow the tradition of the bride and groom shopping separately and then revealing their outfits on the wedding day, you can. Alternatively, you can shop together and choose what you want to wear. You can wear wedding dresses, suits, or even jumpsuits in the same fit, colour, or complementary colours and fabrics. If that feels too matchy-matchy, you can pair up your accessories instead—matching cufflinks, bouquets, flower crowns, socks, or jackets. You can also opt for a rainbow theme as a symbol of LGBTQ+ pride.

You can also decide whether you want to "come out" to your wedding vendors as a same-sex couple. This is up to you, but you may want to consider being upfront if gender is a big part of their service offering.

Vows and readings

When it comes to vows and readings, there are no rules for lesbian weddings. You can be as traditional or unconventional as you like. You can write your own vows or have an officiant write them for you. You can also include community participation in your rituals, even if you're not religious. For example, you could have your guests read poetry or recite blessings together.

If you're writing your own vows, you might want to include what it means to you to be married, and why you're getting married. You could also share a list of "reasons you're getting married" and what "being married means to you" to help an officiant write them for you.

If you're looking for inspiration, you could browse through wedding videos, or head to LGBTQ+ wedding websites and books. You can also ask your family and friends for input, especially if they're contributing financially to the wedding.

Remember, this is your day, so do whatever feels right for you!

Music and entertainment

If you're planning on having your first dance at the wedding, selecting the right song is essential. Choose a song that holds special meaning for you as a couple, or that celebrates LGBTQ+ love and relationships. You could even choreograph a unique dance routine to surprise your guests!

Another way to involve your guests in the entertainment is to organise activities or games that they can participate in. This could include anything from a photo booth with fun props, to lawn games, to a karaoke session. If you want to add a touch of nostalgia, you could create a mix of songs from your teenage years or put together a slideshow of photos from your life together.

When it comes to entertainment, don't be afraid to think outside the box and get creative. Your wedding is a celebration of your unique love story, so feel free to incorporate any elements that reflect your personalities and interests. Whether it's a live band, a drag queen performance, or a firework display, the possibilities are endless!

Remember, this is your day, so ultimately you can do whatever you want. Don't allow any pressure from family members or traditions to get in the way of your wedding day vision.

Frequently asked questions