Choosing Your Bridesmaids: Key Considerations

Picking bridesmaids can be a stressful experience, but it doesn't have to be. There are a few key things to keep in mind when making your selection. Firstly, consider your closest friends and family members, traditionally from within your immediate family and close friends' circles. Think about who you are closest to and who will still be in your life for years to come. It's important to choose people who are supportive of your marriage and enthusiastic about your wedding. Reliability is also a key factor, as you'll want to know that your bridesmaids will be there for you throughout the planning process and on the big day itself. While it's not mandatory to have a certain number of bridesmaids, budget constraints may play a role in your decision-making. Be mindful of your bridesmaids' budgets as well, as being part of a wedding party can be expensive. Finally, don't be afraid to trust your instincts and go with your heart when making your selections.

Consider your budget

When deciding who to pick as your bridesmaids, it's important to consider your budget. Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, with the average cost to be a bridesmaid reaching around $1600. As the bride, you should be mindful of the financial burden you're placing on your bridesmaids, especially if you're asking them to travel or pay for their own hair and makeup.

First, allocate the amount you want to spend on your bridal party. Will you be buying their dresses, or paying for their hair and makeup? Are you covering the cost of the bachelorette trip? How many bouquets are you willing to pay for?

If you have a small budget, it's best to choose a small number of bridesmaids, perhaps just your closest friends or family members. If you have a large guest list but a small budget, you don't have to have a large bridal party.

If you have a larger budget, you can consider inviting more bridesmaids. You could also cover some of the costs for your bridesmaids, such as hair and makeup, or their accommodation the night before the wedding.

It's also important to be flexible and understanding if one of your bridesmaids can't afford certain expenses. They might not be able to attend the bachelorette party, for example, or they may need to do their own hair and makeup.

Finally, remember that it's okay if you can't afford to have bridesmaids at all. Your wedding is about you and your partner, and it's more important to stay within your budget than to have a large bridal party.

Think about family

When it comes to choosing your bridesmaids, it's important to remember that your wedding is about you and your partner, and it's up to you to decide who you want to see standing by your side on your big day. Here are some things to consider when thinking about family:

Sisters and Close Brothers

Sisters usually come first when it comes to choosing family members as bridesmaids. If you have a sister or multiple sisters, consider whether you want them to be a part of your bridal party. Similarly, if you have an extremely close brother, including him in your bridal party is a modern touch that will be well-received by your guests.

Fiancé's Sister

If you have a close connection and spend quality time with your fiancé's sister, she would be a great addition to your bridesmaid list. Consider how often you talk and spend time with her, and whether you have a strong relationship.

Other Family Members

Don't forget about other family members like cousins or nieces, who could be potential junior bridesmaids. If you have a large family, you may want to consider setting some criteria to help you decide. For example, you could choose family members who you are closest to, or those who you can depend on and see yourself having a relationship with for years to come.

Managing Expectations

Keep in mind that being a bridesmaid comes with certain responsibilities and expenses, so it's important to be clear about what is expected of your bridesmaids. If you have family members who are unable or unwilling to take on these responsibilities, you may want to consider giving them a different role in your wedding, such as a flower girl or ring bearer.

Compatibility

Another important factor to consider is how well your potential bridesmaids will get along with each other. You want your bridal party to be a harmonious group, so think about the dynamics between your family members and whether there is anyone who might cause tension or disagreements.

Remember, choosing your bridesmaids is a personal decision, and you should pick the people who you feel closest to and who will make your wedding day even more special.

Choose best friends

Choosing your bridesmaids can be a daunting task, but it's important to remember that it's your day and you should be selfish! Here are some tips to help you choose your best friends as bridesmaids:

Start by making a list of your best friends, the people you feel closest to. These are the friends you go to for all of life's problems, who you match with emotionally, and who you love to have fun with. If you have multiple friend groups, consider how often you talk to or hang out with each person. The people you spend the most alone time with and chat with regularly are good candidates for your bridal party.

Don't feel limited by gender norms. There's no rule saying you can't have a close male friend as a bridesman or man of honour. Your bridal party should be made up of your favourite people, regardless of gender.

Think about the expectations you have for your bridal party. Common bridesmaid tasks include organizing the bridal shower and bachelorette party, helping to choose the wedding and bridesmaid dresses, and supporting you in managing pre-wedding jitters. Consider who would be best suited to handle these tasks with grace, efficiency, and a good attitude.

While it's not necessary, some couples prefer to have an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen for the sake of photos. Discuss this with your fiancé and make the decision together.

Remember to consider your budget. Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, and while you may want to provide for your bridal party, they also have their own budgets to consider. If you know a friend is in a tough spot financially, be honest and let them know you'd still love for them to be involved, but also offer alternative ways for them to participate if the financial burden is too much.

Finally, don't feel pressured to choose certain people out of obligation or fear of causing drama. This is your day, and you should be surrounded by people who will make you feel amazing and supported.

Pick from your friend groups

Picking bridesmaids from your friend groups can be a daunting task, especially if you have a large circle of friends. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Be Mindful of Your Friendships:

First and foremost, it's important to remember that your friends are all unique individuals with different personalities and dynamics. While it's natural to want to include everyone, it's essential to consider each person's feelings and manage expectations. Be honest and transparent with your friends about your plans and decisions. This will help set clear boundaries and avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Assess Your Friendships:

Take an honest look at your friend groups and assess the nature of your relationships. Consider factors such as the depth of your connection, the level of emotional support they provide, and the frequency of your interactions. Those who you feel closest to, who offer genuine support, and with whom you regularly spend time, are likely to be good candidates for your bridesmaids.

Consider Responsibilities and Expectations:

Being a bridesmaid comes with certain responsibilities and expectations. Think about which friends are dependable, organised, and able to commit to the tasks involved. It's important to have a mix of friends who can take on different roles and share the responsibilities effectively. If you have friends who are less reliable or have busy lives, you may want to assign them less intensive roles to ensure the workload is manageable for everyone.

Evaluate Your Vision for the Wedding:

Consider the type of wedding you envision. If you prefer a smaller, more intimate gathering, choosing your closest friends as bridesmaids is a natural choice. However, if you're planning a larger celebration, you may want to expand your bridesmaid selection to include a broader range of friends. Discuss your vision with your fiancé, as their input and support can help guide your decision-making process.

Be True to Yourself:

Ultimately, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. Choose friends who align with your values, bring out the best in you, and will enhance your special day with their presence. It's your day, so be authentic and surround yourself with people who truly reflect the dynamic of your friend groups and bring you joy.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to picking bridesmaids from your friend groups. The key is to be thoughtful, considerate, and true to yourself and your relationships.

Include work friends

When it comes to picking your bridesmaids, it's important to remember that your wedding is about you and your partner, and it's your decision to make. It can be a stressful process, but it doesn't have to be.

If you have a close work friend who seems like a sister, you talk to them every day and you go to them for gossip and the latest news, then definitely consider them for your bridal party. However, this is the group that you should feel least stressed about considering. If you don't have room to invite them as a guest, they will still be there to help you get through the wedding planning stress, and it's often better to leave what goes on in the office, at the office.

If you're worried about numbers, remember that the number of bridesmaids doesn't matter, so long as those standing beside you are the right people. If you want to stick to a certain number, use your wedding house party to include other folks you can't fit into your bridal party.

When making your decision, it's a good idea to start by listing all the meaningful people you might include, not just women. Then, look at your expectations for their involvement in your wedding. If you hope to lean heavily on your bridal party for planning advice and wedding tasks, consider whether your work friend has the time and bandwidth to commit to these duties. It's a good idea to have an honest check-in chat and make it clear that they should be forthright with you if their capacity is limited.

Finally, if you're concerned about offending friends who aren't bridesmaids, be honest about the financial and time commitment involved. You can also suggest other ways for them to participate in the wedding, such as reading during the ceremony or serving as an usher.

Frequently asked questions