Selecting Bridesmaids: A Guide To Choosing Your Bridal Party

Figuring out the order of bridesmaids and groomsmen can be one of the toughest parts of planning a wedding ceremony. The order of the wedding party can affect both the aesthetics of the event and the personal feelings of those involved. There are several ways to line up the bridal party, each with their own advantages and disadvantages. The most common methods include ordering by height, relationship to the couple, length of the relationship, attire colour, role in the ceremony, and alphabetical order.

By height

Ordering your bridesmaids by height is a great way to avoid any hurt feelings among your bridal party. It's also a good option if you're keen to ensure your wedding party is aesthetically pleasing, as it will look balanced in photos.

The order you choose to go for is up to you. You could order your bridesmaids from shortest to tallest or vice versa. One source suggests that you work from the height of your Maid of Honour and go from there. If she is short, order the rest of the bridesmaids from shortest to tallest, and if she is tall, do the opposite.

The Maid of Honour will traditionally stand next to the bride, regardless of her height, as this position is considered a place of honour. If your shortest bridesmaid is your Maid of Honour, simply order the rest of the bridesmaids from shortest to tallest, with the tallest bridesmaid at the end of the line.

If you want to pair your bridesmaids with groomsmen for the processional, you can pair the shortest bridesmaid with the shortest groomsman, and so on. The shortest couple enters the aisle first, and the tallest enters last.

If you're concerned about how your height will look in photos, you could try arranging your bridal party on steps, with the shortest people on higher steps and the tallest on lower steps. You could also try sitting or kneeling in some photos.

By relationship to the couple

When it comes to ordering bridesmaids by their relationship to the couple, there are a few ways to approach this. Firstly, you can consider the length of the relationship. The longer you have known someone, the closer they should stand to you during the ceremony. This means that childhood friends or family members will likely be at the front of the line, with newer friends towards the back.

Secondly, you can consider the nature of the relationship. Sisters and siblings are often chosen as maids of honour and stand closest to the bride. If the bride has an extremely close brother, including him in the bridal party is a modern touch. The groom's sister is also a popular choice for bridesmaids, especially if she and the bride share a close connection and spend a lot of quality time together.

Thirdly, you can consider the couple's relationship with the bridal party. If a bridesmaid and groomsman are dating, engaged, or married, it is customary to pair them together. This also applies to attendants who are friends—let them walk together.

Finally, if there are any children or young cousins in the bridal party, they can be included as junior bridesmaids or ushers.

By length of relationship

Ordering bridesmaids by the length of the relationship is a great way to avoid hurt feelings and keep things diplomatic. This method is a good plan if each bridesmaid is from a different stage of your life, such as elementary school, high school, college, or work. It can be a little less effective if you met all of your bridesmaids in the same year, but it's still a good way to ensure your oldest friends are closest to you during the ceremony.

This method is also a good way to make sure your bridal party is aesthetically pleasing. If your flower girl or ring bearer is standing with you, or nearby on the outside, it's convenient if your maid of honour is either the tallest or shortest person in the group. This way, you can still organise your bridesmaids by height, with the maid of honour at one end, and the rest of the bridesmaids arranged by the length of the relationship.

If you have a large bridal party, you can also group your bridesmaids by their relationship to you. Start with sisters, then sisters-in-law, cousins, best friends, and so on. If you're not particularly close to your sisters or sisters-in-law, you can keep them on the outside and have your best friends closer to you.

Remember, the order in which your bridesmaids walk down the aisle doesn't have to match the order in which they stand during the ceremony. For example, if one or two of your bridesmaids are delivering readings, have them stand on the end to make it easier for them to get to the microphone.

By attire colour

When ordering bridesmaids by attire colour, there are several factors to consider to ensure a cohesive and flattering look for the bridal party. Here are some detailed tips to achieve this:

Skin Tone and Complexion:

It is essential to consider the skin tones and complexions of your bridesmaids when choosing a dress colour. Not every colour suits everyone, so it is important to select a shade that complements the different complexions in your bridal party. One suggestion is to use different tints of the same colour to maintain a cohesive aesthetic while catering to varying skin tones. For example, you could choose blue and then select powder blue, navy, and cobalt based on what looks best on each individual.

Universal Flattering Colours:

If you prefer to stick to a single shade, opt for colours that are universally flattering, such as richer and deeper tones like dark teal and maroon. These pigments are less likely to wash someone out, unlike pastel colours, which are harder to pair with a range of complexions.

Wedding Theme and Venue:

Consider your wedding theme and venue when choosing bridesmaid dress colours. For instance, a boho-chic wedding could feature warm colours like rust, brown, burgundy, and deep mustard. A city rooftop celebration, on the other hand, might call for Kelly green or royal blue. Black is also a universally flattering hue that complements most themes and dress styles.

Season and Venue:

The season and venue of your wedding will influence the colour palette. For a summer barn wedding, opt for light and earthy tones like dark sage, taupe, and terracotta. Beach weddings are perfect for pastel colours and sunset hues like pale yellow, powder blue, and lavender. For a winter wonderland theme, consider deeper shades and cool undertones.

Popular Colour Choices:

Some popular bridesmaid dress colours include dusty blue, dusty rose, wine, cinnamon, juniper, dusty sage, and black. These colours can be styled in various ways and paired with complementary accessories to create a cohesive look.

Remember, when ordering bridesmaids by attire colour, it is essential to consider the skin tones of your bridal party, the wedding theme and venue, and the season. By incorporating these factors into your decision, you can create a harmonious and flattering aesthetic for your bridesmaids.

By age

Ordering your bridesmaids by age is a great way to avoid any potential hurt feelings, as age is a fact that can't be negotiated. The oldest bridesmaid would stand closest to the bride, with the youngest on the outer edge of the lineup. This is also a good option for aesthetic purposes, as it creates a natural progression in photos.

If you have a mix of adults and children in your bridal party, you may want to consider having the youngest attendants sit in the front row. This is common at Jewish weddings, where the couple's parents stand with them under the chuppah, while in non-Jewish weddings, the parents of the couple usually sit in the front row.

If all your bridesmaids were born the same year, you could even get creative and order them by birth month!

When it comes to pairing up bridesmaids and groomsmen, age can also be a factor. It is customary to pair up couples who are dating, engaged, or married, but if they are of significantly different ages, you may want to pair them with someone else of a more similar age.

Remember, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to ordering your bridesmaids. Do what feels right for you and your bridal party, and don't be afraid to get creative!

Frequently asked questions