Planning a wedding can be a stressful process, and it's not uncommon for tensions to arise between the couple and their parents. While some parents are emotionally absent or disinterested in the wedding planning process, others may have strong opinions and try to exert control over various aspects, from the guest list to the choice of venue. This can lead to disagreements and conflicts, especially if the couple has different visions or preferences than their parents. In some cases, parents may even threaten to not attend the wedding if their demands are not met. It's important for couples to set boundaries, rely on supportive friends or other family members, and remember that their wedding day is ultimately about them and their partner.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Inviting extended family members you barely know | Causing fights |
Treating your partner horribly | Making you feel guilty |
Calling you selfish | Threatening not to come to the wedding |
Freaking out about your hairstyle | Causing stress |
Refusing to apologise | Denying their hurtful behaviour |
Interfering with your packing | Ruining your wedding memories |
Gaslighting |
What You'll Learn
Invite only close relatives, no cousins
One of the most effective ways to make your parents angry while planning a wedding is to limit the guest list to only close relatives and exclude cousins. This strategy is sure to infuriate them, especially if they have a large extended family. Here are some detailed instructions on how to execute this plan:
Announce Your Intentions Clearly:
- Be direct and inform your parents that you intend to invite only aunts, uncles, and perhaps grandparents to your wedding, excluding cousins.
- Be prepared for an outburst, as limiting the guest list can be a highly emotional topic for parents.
Stand Your Ground:
- When your parents inevitably protest, remain firm in your decision.
- Calmly explain your reasons, such as wanting a smaller, more intimate wedding or having a limited budget.
- Emphasize that this is your wedding, and you want to celebrate with only your closest family members.
Address Their Concerns:
- Listen to your parents' concerns and try to find compromises that work for both parties.
- For example, if they argue that certain cousins are very close to you, consider including them in other wedding-related events like the bridal shower or bachelor/bachelorette party.
- Alternatively, suggest a separate gathering with extended family after the wedding to celebrate with those who couldn't attend.
Manage Their Expectations:
- Be transparent about your plans and keep your parents informed throughout the planning process.
- Explain your vision for the wedding and why a smaller guest list is important to you.
- Acknowledge their disappointment but stand your ground, reminding them that this is your special day.
Offer Alternatives:
- Suggest other ways for extended family members to be involved without attending the wedding.
- For example, propose a live stream of the ceremony for those who can't be physically present.
- Alternatively, consider creating a wedding website or social media group where absent cousins can send their well wishes and view photos and videos of the event.
Stay Calm and Assertive:
- Planning a wedding can be stressful, and emotions can run high.
- Remember to take a step back, breathe, and approach the situation with a calm and assertive mindset.
- Explain your perspective clearly and respectfully, acknowledging their feelings while sticking to your decision.
By following these steps, you can effectively anger your parents by excluding cousins from your wedding guest list while maintaining your boundaries and having the celebration you desire.
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Choose a venue your parents dislike
Choosing a wedding venue is a highly personal decision, and it can be challenging to find a location that aligns with the vision of the couple and their parents. If you want to anger your parents with your venue choice, here are some tips to help you achieve that:
- Ignore their preferences: If your parents have expressed a desire for a specific type of venue, such as a traditional or formal setting, deliberately choose something that contrasts with their wishes. Opt for a modern or unconventional location that you know they would dislike.
- Prioritize your own preferences: Remember, this is your wedding, and you should choose a venue that reflects your personality and tastes. If your parents dislike rustic or outdoor venues, for example, you could intentionally select a barn or garden setting.
- Consider their embarrassment: Think about what type of venue would embarrass your parents. Perhaps they would be ashamed of a venue that is too simple or unconventional in their eyes. Choose something that you know would make them uncomfortable and self-conscious.
- Involve them in the process: To really twist the knife, involve your parents in the venue selection process. Take them to visit your desired location, knowing that they will hate it. This way, you can witness their disappointment and discomfort firsthand.
- Ignore their feedback: If your parents express their dislike for your chosen venue, disregard their concerns. Dismiss their opinions and emphasize that it is your wedding and your decision. This will surely anger them and create tension.
- Be inflexible: If your parents try to compromise or suggest alternative venues, stand firm and refuse to consider their ideas. Insist on your chosen venue, even if it means they will be unhappy.
Remember, while choosing a venue your parents dislike can be a way to anger them, it is important to weigh the consequences and potential impact on your relationship. Wedding planning can be a stressful time, and it might be wise to consider the long-term effects of your decisions.
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Make plans that don't consider their comfort
Making plans that don't consider your parents' comfort is a surefire way to anger them during your wedding planning. Here are some ways to do this:
Choose an Inconvenient Location
Select a venue that is far away from your parents' home or a destination that is difficult for them to travel to. This will not only cause them inconvenience but also likely lead to complaints about the distance and associated costs.
Ignore Their Preferences
If your parents have expressed interest in specific aspects of the wedding, such as a religious ceremony or traditional elements, deliberately choose to forgo these. Opt for a secular ceremony and modern twists on traditions to show that you are not taking their preferences into account.
Make Them Feel Excluded
Keep your parents in the dark about key details and decisions. Refuse to share information about the venue, catering, or your dress. When they ask, simply change the subject or give vague answers. This will make them feel left out and angry that they are not included in the planning process.
Make Plans Without Their Input
If your parents have offered financial support, this does not necessarily mean they should have a say in every aspect of the wedding. You can still make them angry by planning without their input. Make all the major decisions yourself, from the venue to the menu, without consulting them. This will show that you are not considering their comfort or opinions.
Be Unyielding on Guest List
The guest list is often a point of contention between parents and couples. If your parents want to invite extended family members you barely know, stand firm and refuse to budge. Explain that you are only inviting close friends and family, and that you are limited by budget or venue capacity. This will anger them as they will feel their wishes are being disregarded.
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Ignore their preferences for your appearance
One of the most effective ways to anger your parents while planning your wedding is to ignore their preferences for your appearance. This can be done in several ways:
Firstly, you can choose a hairstyle or makeup look that goes against their wishes. For example, if your parents are expecting you to wear an elaborate updo, you could instead opt for a simple braid or wear your hair down. You could also decide to do your own hair and makeup, rather than hiring a professional, which may upset your parents if they have a particular look in mind.
Secondly, you can be intentional about not taking their advice on your physical appearance. For instance, if they suggest you lose weight, tone up, colour your hair, whiten your teeth, or address any other aspect of your appearance, you can choose to ignore their comments and proceed with your wedding as you see fit.
Thirdly, you can be open about not caring for their opinions on your appearance. If they express their desire for you to look a certain way, you can be blunt in your disagreement and make it clear that you have no intention of changing to suit their preferences.
Additionally, you can take their suggestions to an extreme, beyond what they had in mind. For example, if they suggest you get a spray tan, you could go overboard and end up with an unnatural-looking tan that is sure to anger them.
Finally, you can involve them in the planning process but ultimately make choices that go against their preferences. For instance, you could ask them to come with you to hair and makeup trials, only to later inform them that you will be going with a completely different look.
Remember, while it is important to consider the feelings of your parents, it is ultimately your wedding, and you should feel free to make choices that reflect your true self.
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Don't invite their friends
If you want to make your parents angry during your wedding planning, a surefire way to do that is to not invite their friends. This is a day that your parents have likely been thinking about since you were born, and they will have their own ideas about how it should go and who should be there. They will be inviting their friends and family to witness the wedding, and they will have a vision in their heads about how it will all happen and what it will look like.
Your parents will probably have a very different idea about the guest list than you do. They will likely want to invite all their friends and extended family, and may get angry if you don't want to invite these people. This is especially true if your parents are contributing financially to the wedding, as they may feel that gives them more of a say.
If you want to anger your parents, you could insist on having a small wedding and refuse to invite most of their friends. This will likely lead to screaming matches and angry accusations. They may call you selfish and claim that you are discriminating against their family. They may say that you are catering more to your partner's family, even if this isn't true.
Even if you do invite their friends, your parents may still find a way to be angry about it. For example, they may be upset if you don't give their friends a plus one, or they may be offended if you don't invite someone they barely know, like a distant cousin or a friend they haven't seen in years.
So, if you want to make your parents angry, don't invite their friends to the wedding. This will likely lead to arguments and hurt feelings, and may even damage your relationship with your parents.
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Frequently asked questions
Insist on a barn venue.
Invite only close family members and don't invite extended family.
Make your wedding day all about you and your partner, instead of your parents.
Tell them you want to elope.