The Ultimate Guide To Creating Your Wedding List

Creating a wedding guest list can be a challenging task, especially when deciding how many people to invite and who those people will be. The number of guests will impact your budget and venue, so it's important to start by setting a realistic budget and determining the capacity of your chosen venue. It's also crucial to consider the style and ambiance you want for your wedding day, as this may influence your guest list. A good rule of thumb is that trimming your guest list will help you trim your budget.

When deciding who to invite, it's essential to prioritize close loved ones and immediate family members. You should also consider the accessibility of your wedding location for your guests and whether you will allow plus-ones. It's worth noting that there are no hard and fast rules, and ultimately, the decision is up to you and your partner. However, some traditional guidelines can help you navigate this process, such as including all family members from the same category (e.g., inviting all aunts or all cousins) to avoid tensions.

To make the process easier, you can create separate lists for different categories of guests, such as family, close friends, extended friends, and colleagues. You can then combine and refine these lists based on your budget and venue capacity. Remember that creating the perfect wedding guest list takes time, so don't rush the process, and seek input from loved ones if needed.

Budgeting and venue capacity

Setting a Realistic Budget

Start by determining how much you can afford to spend on your wedding. Be honest about what you can actually afford, considering your daily expenses, debt, and any other costs on the horizon. If you're receiving financial contributions from family or friends, factor that into your budget as well. It's crucial to have a clear understanding of your financial limitations to guide your decision-making.

Venue Capacity and Guest List

The venue you choose will depend on the size of your guest list. The number of guests you invite will impact the cost of food, drinks, rentals, and other expenses, so it's important to create a realistic guest list that fits within your budget. Consider whether you want a more intimate gathering or a larger celebration, as this will dictate the type of venue you'll need. Keep in mind that the venue should be able to accommodate your guests comfortably, with enough space for dining, dancing, and other activities.

Allocating Your Budget

Once you have a clear idea of your guest list and budget, you can start allocating your funds accordingly. Here are some key areas to consider:

• Venue and Catering: This will typically be the biggest expense, with couples spending around 35-45% of their budget on the venue, food, and beverage.
• Wedding Planning: Consider hiring a wedding planner or coordinator, allocating 5-15% of your budget to their services. They can help you navigate vendor selection and may even save you money with their industry connections.
• Photography and Videography: Great wedding photos are a must, so allocate around 10-12% of your budget to capture those special moments. If videography is important to you, include it in your budget as well.
• Music and Entertainment: Whether it's a DJ, band, or live musicians, plan to spend about 5-10% of your budget on entertainment to keep your guests entertained.
• Flowers and Decor: It's easy to blow your budget on flowers and decor, so allocate around 10% for these expenses. This includes personal bouquets, ceremony decorations, centerpieces, and other decorative elements.
• Wedding Attire and Beauty: Allocate about 5-9% for the wedding attire, alterations, accessories, and hair and makeup for you and your wedding party.
• Transportation: Ensure smooth travels for you, your wedding party, and your guests by budgeting for transportation services. Plan to spend around 3-5% on this aspect.
• Cake and Desserts: Don't forget to include sweet treats in your budget! Set aside 2-3% for your wedding cake or alternative desserts.
• Tips and Extras: Remember to factor in gratuities for your vendors, as well as a buffer for unexpected costs. Allocate around 5-15% for these expenses.

Remember, these are just average estimates, and you can adjust the allocations based on your priorities and preferences. Creating a detailed budget and staying organized with a spreadsheet or budget app will help you track your spending and make informed decisions throughout the planning process.

Prioritising close loved ones

Creating a wedding guest list can be a daunting task, but it's important to remember that this is your wedding, and you and your partner should ultimately do what you think is best. Here are some tips to help you prioritise close loved ones when making your wedding list:

Start with a Realistic Budget

The number of guests you invite will depend on your budget and venue capacity. By setting a budget first, you can determine how many people you can invite and afford to host. This will help you create a more realistic guest list.

Identify Your VIPs

Start by identifying your VIPs or the people who absolutely must be there. This includes your closest loved ones and immediate family members such as parents, siblings, grandparents, and close friends. These are the people you truly want to celebrate with and who will be given the highest priority on your guest list.

Consider the Size of Your Wedding

If you're planning a larger wedding, keep in mind that you may not have the chance to interact with every guest. Decide if you want to spend time making small talk with lots of people or celebrating with a tight-knit group. A smaller wedding allows for more quality time with your closest loved ones.

Be Mindful of Package Deals and Plus-Ones

There are certain guests who are considered "package deals," such as the officiant's spouse or the parents of children in your wedding party. You'll also need to decide on a policy for plus-ones and be consistent in your invitations. For example, you may choose to only invite partners if they have been dating for six months or more.

Don't Feel Obligated to Invite Distant Relatives

Remember, your wedding is a celebration for you, your partner, and your immediate family. You don't need to invite every relative, especially those you haven't spoken to in years. It's not a family reunion, and you shouldn't feel obligated to extend an invitation to everyone in your family tree.

Involve Your Parents

If your parents are contributing to the budget or helping with the planning, they may want to have a say in the guest list. Ask them to prepare their own lists to avoid last-minute invitation requests and ensure that everyone's expectations are managed.

Be Strategic with Your Guest List

Creating a wedding guest list is all about prioritisation. Focus on the people who are significant in your life, including professional friends, coworkers, mentors, and friends from different stages of your life. Give each guest a priority rating (A, B, or C) based on how close you are and how important their presence is to you.

Remember, your wedding guest list is about celebrating with the people you love and who matter the most to you. By following these tips, you can create a guest list that reflects your priorities and ensures your closest loved ones are by your side on your special day.

Handling the B-list

Make B-list Decisions Early

Decide early on if you need to separate your guest list into an A-list and a B-list. This will give you time to figure out who belongs on which list and make arrangements for invitations and RSVP deadlines.

Organise Intentionally

When creating your B-list, organise it in order of priority. Put those who are important to you but didn't quite make the cut at the top, and those who would be nice to include at the bottom. That way, if you have 10 people from your A-list who can't make it, you know who the first 10 people to invite from the B-list are.

Make a Separate List for Family and Close Friends

To avoid any potential hurt feelings, decide on clear criteria for who makes the A-list and who makes the B-list, and apply these criteria consistently. This will reduce the chances of people comparing invitations and realising they were on the B-list.

Send Invitations Early

If you have a B-list, send your A-list invitations out around 12 weeks in advance. This will give you time to see who can't make it before sending out your B-list invites.

Have Two Sets of RSVP Cards

Print two sets of RSVP cards with different deadlines. The first set, going out with the A-list invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of around eight weeks before the wedding. The second set, going out with the B-list invitations, should have a deadline of about three weeks before the wedding. This will give you time to get a final headcount for the venue and caterer.

Mail the B-list Invites at Once

Choose a deadline for adding B-list guests, and mail all the B-list invitations on the same day. This will help you keep track of who you've invited and ensure that invitations arrive in a timely manner.

Plus-ones and children

Deciding on a wedding guest list can be a tricky task, and it's important to remember that you and your partner should ultimately do what you think is best. Plus-ones and children are a key consideration when it comes to finalising your guest list. Here are some tips to help you navigate this aspect of your wedding planning:

Plus-ones

• It is standard etiquette to offer plus-ones to anyone in a committed relationship, including those who are married, engaged, or living together.
• Members of the wedding party should also be offered a plus-one as a token of gratitude for their time and support.
• Close family members and friends are also typically offered plus-ones, even if they don't plan on bringing a romantic partner.
• Single guests who don't know many people at the wedding or are travelling a long distance may also appreciate the option of bringing a plus-one.
• On the other hand, guests who are casually dating or single guests who know a lot of other invitees don't need to be offered a plus-one.
• Ultimately, the decision to offer plus-ones is a personal choice and depends on your budget, venue capacity, and preference for an intimate wedding.
• If you do offer plus-ones, try to use the guest's name on the invitation rather than just "and guest." This shows that you have made an effort to find out their name, and it looks more official.
• Be prepared for guests to ask about bringing a plus-one, even if they haven't been offered one. Respond to these requests politely and kindly, explaining any limitations you may have.
• Have a few extra invitations on hand for any last-minute plus-ones.
• If you decide not to offer plus-ones, you can explain your decision on your wedding website or inform guests directly.

Children

• If you are considering a child-friendly wedding, take note of how many children are associated with each name on your guest list.
• You may decide to set an age cutoff for children, especially if you want to keep numbers low. For example, you could say that only children over 14 are invited.
• Inform parents of your decision beforehand to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings on the day.
• Alternatively, you can make your wedding adults-only to minimise your guest list and give parents a kid-free night to enjoy themselves.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you can decide whether or not to include plus-ones and children. Don't be afraid to set boundaries and stick to them. Good luck with your wedding planning!

Dealing with wedding guest list regrets

Creating a guest list can be one of the most challenging aspects of wedding planning. It's natural to want to invite as many friends and family members as possible, but sometimes the number of guests attending may not match your expectations. This occurrence, known as "RSVP regret", can be a common source of stress for couples. Here are some tips to help you deal with wedding guest list regrets:

• Start with a realistic budget: The number of guests you invite will impact your wedding budget. By setting a budget first, you can determine how many invitations to send out. This will help you avoid overspending or having an undersized crowd.
• Prioritize close loved ones: Focus on inviting your closest family members and friends. Consider who you truly want to be there and who must be there, such as parents, siblings, and grandparents. This will help you create an intimate celebration with your dearest loved ones.
• Be mindful of plus-ones: Decide early on how you will handle plus-ones to avoid last-minute decisions. You can set clear rules, such as only inviting significant others if the couple has been dating for a specific period, or not giving plus-ones at all.
• Consider a B-list: Creating a B-list is a common practice in wedding planning. If you receive more declines than expected, you can invite guests from your B-list. However, handle this with care to avoid hurting the feelings of those who find out they were a last-minute addition.
• Group guests by relationship: Include all individuals from the same group, such as first cousins or aunts and uncles. This helps ensure that you don't accidentally exclude someone close to you and makes it easier to manage your guest list.
• Address RSVP regrets promptly: If a guest sends an RSVP that includes additional people who were not invited, address this quickly. Explain that your venue and budget have limitations, and you cannot accommodate everyone. Be firm but polite, and focus on celebrating with the guests who can attend.
• Enhance the experience for attending guests: If you have a smaller crowd than expected, you can use the extra budget to enhance their experience. Consider adding personalized touches, such as handwritten welcome notes or lavish welcome boxes.
• Discuss your feelings: Dealing with RSVP regret can be stressful. Talk about your feelings with your partner, wedding planner, or close friends. While they may not be able to change the situation, sharing your concerns can provide relief and help you manage any anxiety.
• Manage expectations: Understand that not all your invitations will be accepted, and it's not a reflection of your relationships. Typically, 70% to 85% of invited guests attend a wedding, and this percentage can be lower for destination weddings.
• Have a Plan B: Create a Plan B guest list. If you receive regrets from your A-list guests, you can send out invitations to your B-list guests promptly to ensure a good turnout.

Frequently asked questions