Creating The Perfect Wedding Guest List: A Step-By-Step Guide

Creating a wedding guest list can be a daunting task. It is important to start with a realistic budget and to prioritize close loved ones and immediate family members. One way to organize your guest list is to divide it into three parts: one-third guests of the bride's parents, one-third guests of the groom, and the rest are guests of the couple. You should also consider the venue's capacity and your budget when deciding how many people to invite. It is generally a good idea to send out invitations at least eight weeks in advance and to be mindful of B-list guests, who may feel like afterthoughts if they are invited at the last minute.

Prioritise close loved ones

When it comes to wedding planning, creating a guest list can be one of the most challenging tasks. It's important to remember that this is your wedding, and you and your partner should decide who you want to celebrate with. Here are some tips to help you prioritize close loved ones and create a guest list that feels right for you:

Start with a Realistic Budget

The number of guests you invite will significantly impact your wedding budget. Before finalizing your guest list, it's crucial to determine how much you're willing to spend on the wedding day and auxiliary events like the rehearsal dinner. This will help you stay within your financial limits and ensure you only invite the number of guests you intend to pay for.

Identify Your VIPs

Begin by identifying your VIPs, the people you can't imagine getting married without. These are your non-negotiables, and they typically include immediate family members and close friends. Go through your list and highlight these individuals, ensuring they are at the top of your priority list.

Be Mindful of Plus-Ones

When it comes to plus-ones, it's essential to set clear and consistent boundaries. Decide early on if you will allow plus-ones and, if so, what criteria must be met. For example, you may choose only to invite plus-ones for your wedding party, engaged couples, or those in long-term relationships.

Consider Travel Requirements

Accessibility and travel requirements are essential factors to consider when creating your guest list. Keep in mind that some guests may not be able to attend due to visa rules or the lack of convenient travel options to your wedding destination. If you're planning a destination wedding, ensure you choose a location that is accessible for your VIP guests.

Don't Rush the Process

Creating a guest list takes time, and it's crucial to avoid rushing the process. Since the guest list impacts various wedding elements, take your time to ensure you don't overlook any important considerations.

Manage Expectations

If others are contributing financially to your wedding, they may expect a say in the guest list. It's essential to have open and honest conversations with them about your priorities and boundaries. Decide how much input you're willing to accept from others and set clear expectations to avoid misunderstandings.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. By following these tips and prioritizing close loved ones, you can create a guest list that aligns with your vision and ensures your special day is surrounded by the people who matter most to you.

Consider your budget

Deciding on a wedding guest list can be a daunting task, but it's important to remember that it's your special day and you should plan it according to your vision and budget. Here are some tips to help you consider your budget when creating your wedding guest list:

Start with a Realistic Budget

It's crucial to have a clear understanding of your financial limitations before finalising your guest list. The number of guests you can invite will depend on your budget, as each additional person means extra costs for food, drinks, seating, and more. Create a comprehensive wedding budget that includes all the expenses, from the venue to decorations, to get a realistic idea of how many people you can afford to host.

Prioritize Close Loved Ones

Start by listing the people you absolutely want to be there, such as immediate family and close friends. These are your VIPs, and they should take priority over anyone else. This will help you ensure that those closest to you are part of your celebration, and it will also give you a better idea of how many spots are left for other guests within your budget.

Be Mindful of Plus-Ones

Deciding on plus-ones can be tricky, but it's important to set clear and consistent rules. You might want to limit plus-ones to only those in long-term relationships or engaged/married couples. If you're trying to keep numbers down, you can also consider only allowing plus-ones for guests who don't know anyone else at the wedding, so they feel more comfortable.

Consider a B-List

Creating a B-list is a common strategy in wedding planning. This involves making a list of additional guests you'd like to invite if your budget allows or if you receive enough declines from your initial guest list. Just be mindful of the groups you place on the B-list; if you end up inviting only part of a group, it could create an awkward situation.

Be Strategic with Family Invites

If you're dealing with large extended families, you might want to consider an "all or nothing" approach to avoid hurt feelings. For example, if you invite four cousins, the fifth might feel left out. Similarly, if you invite your partner's great-grandmother, your own great-grandmother might be upset if she's not included. It's a delicate balance, and you'll need to consider your budget and family dynamics when making these decisions.

Don't Be Afraid to Say No

Remember, it's your wedding, and you don't have to invite anyone out of guilt or obligation. You might feel pressured to invite people you haven't spoken to in years, colleagues you're not close with, or friends of your parents you've never met. It's okay to politely decline these invitations and stick to your budget. Your true friends and loved ones will understand.

Creating a wedding guest list while considering your budget can be challenging, but it's important to stay true to your vision and financial limitations. Be mindful of the costs associated with each guest, prioritise the people you truly want to celebrate with, and don't be afraid to say no when necessary.

Be mindful of the B-list

Creating a B-list is a common part of wedding planning, but it should be handled with care. Here are some tips to help you navigate the process without any guest list faux pas:

Make B-List Decisions Early

If you think you might need to separate your guest list into an A-List and a B-List, make that decision as soon as possible. This will give you time to decide who is on which list and figure out arrangements for invitations and RSVP deadlines.

Organise Intentionally

When creating your B-List, organise it in order of priority. Put those who feel really important but didn't quite make the cut at the top, and those who would be nice to include but are not necessary towards the bottom. That way, if you receive a certain number of declines from your A-List, you can easily determine how many people from your B-List you can invite.

Make a Separate List for Family and Close Friends

To avoid any potential hurt feelings, decide on clear criteria for what qualifies someone for the A-List versus the B-List, and apply this logic consistently across the board. The last thing you want is for friends to compare when they were invited and realise they may have been on the B-List.

Send Invitations Early

Etiquette states that invitations should be mailed around six to eight weeks in advance, giving guests plenty of time to check their calendars and mail back their RSVP cards. However, if you have a B-List, using this timing for your A-List means B-List guests could receive their invitations after the RSVP deadline has passed. To avoid this, mail your A-List invitations around 12 weeks in advance, giving you ample time to see who can't make it before sending out your B-List invites.

Have Two Sets of RSVP Cards

To ensure the RSVP deadline matches up with the timeline of the invitation, print two sets. The first set, going out with the A-List invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of roughly eight weeks before the wedding. The second set, sent with the B-List invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of around three weeks before the wedding, in line with traditional etiquette, while still giving you time to get a final headcount.

Mail the B-List Invites at Once

Choose a deadline for adding B-List guests to your "invited" list, and mail all the B-List invitations on the same day. This will help you keep track of who you've added and ensure that invitations are arriving in a timely and predictable manner.

Additional Tips:

• Be mindful of groups within your B-List. If you have a tight-knit group of coworkers, for example, ensure there is room for the entire group before adding just one.
• Don't post photos of yourself mailing out invitations on social media, as this may tip off your B-List guests.
• Monitor your social media pages and delete any comments that reveal when invitations were received.
• Don't tell anyone about your B-List to avoid word getting out.

Think about travel requirements

When it comes to wedding guest lists, it's important to consider any travel requirements for your guests. This is especially crucial if you're planning a destination wedding or have guests travelling from out of town. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Travel Logistics

If your wedding is in a remote location or requires travel for most guests, it's essential to give your guests ample time to plan their trip. Sending out save-the-dates and invitations early will give your guests a better chance of securing travel arrangements and accommodations. Consider choosing a date that isn't during peak travel seasons, as this can impact the availability and cost of flights and hotels for your guests.

Visa and Passport Requirements

If your wedding is abroad, research the visa and passport requirements for the destination country. Give your guests ample notice so they can apply for visas, if necessary, and ensure their passports are up to date. It may be helpful to include this information with your save-the-dates or invitations.

Transportation and Accommodations

Think about providing a list of recommended hotels or accommodation options near the wedding venue. You could also suggest car rental companies or other transportation options for guests who don't have their own. If you have guests with mobility issues, ensure that there are accessible transportation options available.

Rehearsal Dinner and Other Events

If you're having a rehearsal dinner or other events surrounding the wedding, provide guests with clear information about these. Let them know the dress code and any other relevant details. This will help your guests pack accordingly and ensure they feel prepared for the various wedding activities.

Wedding Attire

Be mindful of any cultural or religious dress codes for your wedding. If there are specific requirements or recommendations for attire, be sure to communicate this to your guests. This is especially important if your wedding has a theme or is taking place in a location with a particular dress code, such as a house of worship.

Packing Lists

Consider providing your guests with a suggested packing list, especially if your wedding is in a location with a unique climate or specific activity requirements. For example, if your wedding is on a beach, guests may need to bring beachwear and sun protection. If there are planned activities like hiking or a boat ride, suggest appropriate attire and footwear.

Guest Comfort and Convenience

Think about the little things that will make your guests' travels easier. For example, providing a wedding website or app with all the necessary information in one place can be incredibly helpful. You could also suggest travel apps or translation apps if your wedding is in a foreign country.

Remember, considering the travel requirements of your guests will not only make their experience smoother but will also ensure that they can fully enjoy your special day without unnecessary stress or complications.

Set a policy for plus-ones

A plus-one wedding invitation allows your invitee to bring a guest to your big day. These are usually addressed to single guests. However, it is considered proper etiquette to include both members of a married couple or committed long-term relationship as invited guests.

How to Decide Who Gets a Plus-One

• If your venue can accommodate a plus-one for each single person on your list, then go for it.
• If you have limited seating, a limited budget, or simply prefer a more intimate gathering, then you may need to narrow down the plus-one list.
• It is standard practice to give members of your wedding party the option to bring a plus-one.
• The couple's relationship to the guest is also a factor – it's understandable if a close friend gets priority over a coworker.
• If your guest only knows you and your partner, it's a good idea to let them bring someone along.
• If there are any additional unique circumstances, communicate your policy to guests in a considerate and timely manner.

How to Communicate Your Plus-One Policy to Your Guests

• Formally, you'll note if plus-ones are included on your wedding invites.
• Include clarification on your save-the-date, so your guests have enough time to plan.
• Depending on the guest, such as the wedding party, it may be appropriate to informally let them know what your policy is.
• If you're unable to accommodate plus-ones for all, you can give your guest a heads-up through a phone call or in-person conversation.

How to Address Plus-Ones on Invitations

Your wedding invitations that include plus-ones will look similar to your invitation design for married couples or long-term partners. If you've invited a long-term couple that doesn't live together, you can send one invitation addressing both people to one address.

You can also include RSVP instructions that request the plus-one's name, so you know everyone that's attending ahead of time. If you've opted to not include plus-ones, add a polite, clear note, such as "one seat is reserved for the invited guest".

What to Say When a Guest Requests a Plus-One

Sometimes, even with your best efforts to communicate a no plus-ones policy, a guest will ask if they can bring someone anyway. It's not considered proper etiquette for guests to request a plus-one, but it's important to consider the context. If you have any flexibility, you may want to weigh the pros and cons before saying no.

If there's absolutely no wiggle room, it is perfectly acceptable to send a polite but firm response stating your policy. Let them know that while you'd love to expand your guest list, your venue has limited capacity.

What to Do if a Guest Arrives with an Uninvited Plus-One

You may choose to just let it go if there's room for an extra seat. But if you want to prevent uninvited plus-ones from entering, you can politely but firmly let them know there's no room. You can designate someone to handle guest list enforcement, such as another guest, someone in the wedding party, or a member of the venue staff.

Frequently asked questions