Wedding speeches are often one of the most memorable parts of any wedding. However, public speaking can be intimidating, especially when you're expected to be funny, heartfelt, and concise all at once. So, how do you make the perfect wedding speech?
First off, it's crucial to start planning early. Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, write, and edit. Begin by introducing yourself and addressing the guests. Then, share a few stories or anecdotes about the couple, focusing on their synergy and individual and collective growth. It's also important to read the room and avoid inside jokes or inappropriate humour. Keep the speech concise, memorable, and well-rehearsed.
Remember, the key to a great wedding speech is authenticity and a sincere desire to celebrate the love between the newlyweds.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Time | Give yourself plenty of time to prepare and write the speech. |
Theme | Identify a theme to focus on, such as how you met, what you love about the couple, and how their lives have changed for the better since getting together. |
Introduction | Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the couple. |
Audience | Be mindful of the audience and avoid sensitive topics, smut, filth, and politics. |
Jokes | Include original jokes and avoid inside jokes. |
Length | Keep the speech short and sweet, between 2-6 minutes. |
Delivery | Practice your delivery and try to memorise the speech. |
Props | Consider including props or an instrument. |
Cultural Sensitivity | Be aware of traditions and cultural sensitivities. |
Gratitude | Express gratitude and well-wishes. |
Emotion | Don't be afraid to show emotion. |
Toast | End with a heartfelt toast. |
What You'll Learn
Start with a story, message, blessing
When it comes to giving a wedding speech, it's important to remember that it's not about you—it's about sharing a special moment with the couple and their audience of loved ones. With that in mind, here are some tips for starting your speech with a story, message, or blessing.
Start with a Story
Sharing a story is a great way to engage your audience and set the tone for your speech. When selecting a story to tell, choose one that has a beginning, middle, and end, and that showcases the strength of the couple's character or their resilience. Avoid stories that are embarrassing or vulgar; instead, opt for tales that highlight their positive attributes. You could structure your story by first introducing yourself and your relationship to the couple, then sharing a few memories or anecdotes about them, and finally, expressing your wishes for their future. This will give your speech a natural flow and make it more memorable.
Start with a Message
If you want to begin your speech with a message, it's important to keep it concise and heartfelt. Focus on one to three aspects of the couple that you admire, and illustrate each point with a short story or anecdote. This will make your message more impactful and engaging. For example, you could talk about their compassion, thoughtfulness, and warmth, sharing specific instances where these qualities shone through. Address both partners equally, even if you only know one of them well. This will ensure your message is inclusive and celebrates their union.
Start with a Blessing
When delivering a blessing at a wedding, it's customary to acknowledge the couple and thank the guests for being part of this special occasion. You can express your happiness and best wishes for the couple, offering a toast to their love and future together. This is a heartfelt way to begin your speech and set a positive tone for the rest of your words. You might also share a favourite quote or passage about love, keeping it brief and meaningful.
Remember, when crafting your wedding speech, it's essential to prepare in advance. Write down your thoughts, edit and refine them, and practice delivering your speech aloud. This will help you feel more confident and ensure your message is well-received by the couple and their guests.
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Congratulate the couple
Express how happy and grateful you are that the couple is getting married and what it means to you to witness their union. Start by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the couple. This is especially important if you don't know every guest—chances are, some people will be wondering who you are.
Talk about the couple and their relationship. Think of your favourite traits about each of them. Can you think of any stories or examples that illustrate those traits and how they influenced their relationship? How will those traits make them great spouses?
If appropriate, consider welcoming the couple's partner into your family or expressing your gratitude that they found each other. You could also speak on behalf of anyone who is not giving a speech. For example, "I know my grandmother would have absolutely adored you."
Consider how their personalities compare. Are they super-compatible? Do they complement and bring out the best in each other?
Remember, the day is about the couple, so make sure your speech is predominantly about them.
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Introduce yourself
Introducing yourself is an important part of a wedding speech, especially if you're not the bride or groom. It can be easy to forget to introduce yourself when you're nervous, but it's likely that at least a few people in the room won't know who you are. So, start off by saying hello and sharing your name and how you know the couple. Keep it short and sweet, and then move on to the more interesting parts of your speech.
If you're the best man or maid of honour, you might want to start by addressing the guests. For example, you could ask how everyone is doing, or comment on the cocktail hour food or the fact that many guests have travelled far and wide to be there.
Then, share your name and how you know the bride or groom. You could also mention how you're feeling in that moment, such as "I can't believe this day is finally here" or "I've never seen [bride/groom] so happy and beautiful".
If you're not sure how to begin, consider starting with a question or statement to engage the audience. For example: "How's everyone doing tonight? It's so wonderful to see this room filled with people who have come from near and far to celebrate [bride/groom] and [bride/groom] on their special day. For those of you who don't know me, I'm [name], [bride's/groom's] [relationship to the couple], and I'm so honoured to be standing here today."
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Address both partners
When addressing both partners, it's important to highlight their synergy and individual and collective growth. If you don't know one of them very well, try to find a way to include them in your speech. For example, you could tell the story of how they met or share something your friend told you about them that proves what a great partner they are.
- What were your first thoughts when you met the partner?
- Do you have any favourite memories or anecdotes about them?
- How do their personalities compare? Are they very similar, or do they complement each other?
- How has your friend changed since meeting their partner?
- What kind of influence do they have on each other?
- How long have they been together? If it's been a long time, you could say something like, "We've been waiting so long for this day." If it's been a shorter time, you could say, "This past year has been the happiest year of [your friend's] life. We instantly knew you were the perfect match."
- What have they been through together? How have they supported each other through challenges?
- What do you envision for their future together?
Remember to keep your speech balanced. You don't want to focus all your attention on one partner and ignore the other. Make sure to include both of them and celebrate their relationship.
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Keep it concise
A wedding speech should be concise and to the point. The ideal length is between two to eight minutes, with three to six minutes being the sweet spot to strive for. Any longer and you risk losing your audience to the siren call of the open bar or impacting the wedding timeline.
Susan Bender Phelps, the CEO of Odyssey Mentoring & Leadership, advises selecting one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with no more than three short stories to illustrate each point. This will help keep your speech focused and concise.
When writing your speech, be mindful of the flow and structure. A good basic formula to follow is "story, message, blessing," as recommended by Allison Shapira, the founder and CEO of Global Public Speaking. Start by telling a heartwarming story, then share the message or value behind that story, and finally, offer a blessing or wish for the couple.
- Start writing your speech early and give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm and edit.
- Avoid rambling and stick to the key points.
- Focus on the couple and their special day, rather than making the speech about yourself.
- Keep your anecdotes and jokes relevant and avoid inside jokes that only a small group will understand.
- Practice your speech to ensure it stays within the desired time frame.
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