While the wedding is a big day for the couple, it's also a significant day for the fathers of the bride and groom. There are many ways for fathers to be involved in the wedding and stand out. From financial contributions to giving a speech, fathers play an important role in the wedding ceremony and reception. Here are some ways to make the fathers stand out and feel special on the big day.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Financial Involvement | Offer financial support, if possible |
Walk Down the Aisle | Walk the bride down the aisle; stand to the right of the daughter |
Greeting | Greet guests, especially the in-laws |
Speeches | Make a speech at the reception |
Dancing | Dance with the bride |
Seating | Sit in the front row |
Signing | Sign the marriage license |
What You'll Learn
Give a heartfelt speech at the wedding reception
As the father of the groom, your speech should be personal and heartfelt. Share memories of your son and the happy couple, and let your emotions show. This will make the speech more meaningful and engaging for the audience. It is also important to keep your speech brief and to the point, with a duration of around 3-5 minutes. Here are some tips to help you craft a memorable speech:
Brainstorming
Before you begin writing your speech, take some time to think about the key points you want to include. What do you want to say about your son and his new spouse? How can you add a personal touch to the speech? Jot down a few notes to guide you as you start writing.
Adding a Personal Touch
Share your memories of your son and the happy couple. You could include a funny story or a touching moment that stands out to you. For example, you could share a story about when your son was born or a memorable moment from his childhood. You could also talk about the first time you met the bride and how she has brought joy into your son's life. Adding these personal anecdotes will make your speech more engaging and meaningful.
Sharing Words of Wisdom
As the father of the groom, you have a unique perspective on love and marriage. Share your thoughts and offer advice to the happy couple. You can include a quote or pass on some wisdom that you think will help them in their married life. Wish them a long and happy marriage and offer your best wishes.
Adding a Touch of Humor
Weddings are a time for celebration, and a little humor can go a long way in lightening the mood. Use anecdotes or jokes to add levity to your speech, but be mindful of the audience and keep your jokes appropriate. You could share a funny story about your son's childhood or a lighthearted moment related to the couple.
Practicing
The key to a great speech is confidence, and the best way to gain confidence is to practice. Rehearse your speech several times before the wedding so that you feel comfortable and at ease when delivering it. Practicing will help you refine your speech and ensure that it stays within the desired time frame.
Opening and Closing Lines
Prepare some memorable opening and closing lines to hook your audience and leave a lasting impression. You can use popular quotes or anecdotes, or you can create your own. For example, you could start by welcoming the guests and introducing yourself as the proud father of the groom. As you conclude, you can propose a toast to the happy couple, wishing them love, happiness, and a wonderful future together.
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Walk the bride down the aisle
Walking the bride down the aisle is a memorable moment and a sweet and sentimental tradition. Here are some ideas to make this moment stand out and give it a personal touch:
The Solo Walk:
The bride can choose to walk down the aisle by herself, a statement of her independence and a way to make a grand entrance. This option is especially suitable if the bride doesn't have a male figure in her life or is uncomfortable with the idea of being "given away."
Sibling Support:
Asking a sibling to escort the bride down the aisle is a heartwarming gesture, honouring the bond and support they have provided over the years. This idea is also perfect if the bride wants to include a brother or sister who may not otherwise have a special role in the wedding.
Motherly Love:
If the bride is closer to her mother, she can ask her mom to accompany her. This option shines a spotlight on the mother's influence and is also ideal if the bride doesn't have a father figure in her life. Following the Jewish wedding tradition, the bride can have both her parents by her side, with her father on her right and her mother on her left, or vice versa.
Pet Participation:
Including a beloved pet in the bridal procession is sure to bring smiles to everyone's faces. This idea is particularly fitting for pet owners who consider their furry friends as family. Just ensure the venue allows pets and practice walking with your pet beforehand.
Grand Entrance with Grandparents:
Asking a grandparent to escort the bride down the aisle is a way to honour their role in her life and show them how much they are loved and appreciated. This option is especially touching if the bride has a close relationship with her grandparents.
Stepfather or Both Fathers:
If the bride has a close relationship with her stepfather, she can include him in the ceremony, creating a classic father-daughter moment. If both her biological father and stepfather are important figures, she can propose that they both accompany her, showing how much they mean to her.
Cultural Traditions:
Cultural and traditional processions can add a rich and authentic touch to the celebration. For example, in South Asian weddings, the bride is often accompanied by her parents, siblings, or close family members. Another idea is to incorporate a cultural dance procession, such as a lively Bhangra or a graceful Kathak, radiating energy and celebration as the bride makes her way down the aisle.
Escort Hand-off:
The bride can choose to have both her parents escort her halfway down the aisle and then ceremoniously hand her over to her partner or a chosen escort. This idea symbolises her parents' support and blessings and is a meaningful way to involve both parents.
Sparkling Send-off:
For evening celebrations, guests can hold sparklers as the bride walks down the aisle, creating a magical and luminous atmosphere. This idea is associated with auspicious beginnings and is a memorable way to make the moment even more special.
Father-Daughter Dance:
If the father issection, the bride can choose to dance with him at the reception. Even if dancing isn't usually his thing, this is a wonderful opportunity for a father-daughter dance that will be a cherished memory for both of them.
These ideas can be tailored to fit the bride's unique family dynamics and relationships, creating a heartwarming and personalised moment as she walks down the aisle.
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Host the rehearsal dinner
Hosting the rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity for the father of the groom to shine and make the event memorable for the couple and their guests. Here are some tips to help him host an unforgettable rehearsal dinner:
Planning and Preparation:
- The father of the groom should be involved in the planning process, from choosing a venue that suits the theme and budget to deciding on the menu and entertainment.
- It is customary for the groom's parents to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner, but modern couples may choose to share the responsibility with the bride's family or handle it themselves.
- The rehearsal dinner is usually held the night before the wedding, after the rehearsal ceremony. It is an opportunity to bring both families together and honor the bride and groom before their big day.
- The guest list typically includes the wedding party, immediate family members, and anyone else who participated in the rehearsal. It is also a nice gesture to invite out-of-town guests.
- Invitations should be sent out at least four to six weeks in advance, and it is a good idea to include the dress code and directions to the venue.
Creating a Memorable Experience:
- The father of the groom can incorporate personal touches, creative entertainment, and traditional elements to make the evening special.
- It is a great opportunity to showcase personalized details, such as a photograph display or icebreaker activities to help guests interact and get to know each other.
- The dinner can be formal or informal, depending on the couple's preference, and can include a variety of food options, from a classy cocktail hour to a backyard barbecue or a taco night.
- Toasting is an important part of the rehearsal dinner. The father of the groom can prepare a heartfelt speech, sharing memories, offering words of wisdom, and expressing his emotions.
- Gift-giving is also prominent at rehearsal dinners, providing an intimate setting for exchanging gifts and thank-yous.
Logistics and Timeline:
- The father of the groom should work with the couple to finalize the guest list, menu choices, and entertainment options about six months before the event.
- Invitations should be sent out, and RSVPs recorded, about two months in advance.
- The final headcount should be provided to the venue and caterer at least two weeks before the event.
- On the day of the rehearsal dinner, the father of the groom should aim to arrive early and ensure that all the details are in place.
- He can also offer to help with transportation arrangements, especially if there are many out-of-town guests, to ensure timely arrivals and departures.
By following these tips and planning ahead, the father of the groom can host a memorable rehearsal dinner that complements the wedding and leaves the guests excited for the main event.
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Be involved in the planning process
Fathers of the bride or groom can do a lot more than just hand over their credit cards. Here are some ways they can be involved in the planning process:
Be Financially Involved
Every family is different, so how involved parents are financially will depend on the relationship and circumstances. While the stereotype of dads begrudgingly paying for everything is pretty outdated, most couples get financial help from their parents. Before anyone writes a check, a money conversation should take place. The couple might be planning to pay for their wedding themselves, but even if you're not footing the bill, you could be a valuable resource to help them manage their spending. Alternatively, you could offer to host another wedding event like an engagement party, rehearsal dinner, or part of their honeymoon, or splurge on an extra-special wedding gift. If they're requesting a little help covering costs, plan in advance how much you're willing to contribute.
Put Your Strengths to Use
Weddings can be a lot of work, and the couple is likely to need all the extra hands they can get. Ask your son or daughter if there's anything you can help out with. If you have a green thumb, head to the florist with them. Are you an expert negotiator? Tag along for venue site tours. It's also incredibly helpful to make yourself available as a point of contact for vendors, especially if the wedding is taking place in one of the couple's hometowns.
Be There for Them
Wedding planning can lead to some sticky situations. When your son, daughter, or spouse gets really stressed out, be available as a resource, distraction, or confidante. When things get tough, they need to know that you are on their side.
Walk Her Down the Aisle
If your daughter is getting married and including a traditional processional, you can probably expect to walk her down the aisle. If the ceremony is more personalized, you might be asked to officiate the marriage, walk your spouse or your mother down the aisle, or even make a solo procession. Don't be surprised if the couple enlists you to have a special role in the ceremony, whether it's lighting a candle, sharing a reading, or being an usher at the beginning and end.
Make a Toast
The fathers of the bride and groom usually each make at least one toast over the course of the wedding festivities. Whether it's at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding (or sometimes both), it's customary for the dads to say a few words. If you're not sure what to say, stick to the basics. Thank everyone for being there, tell them how happy and proud you are, and then raise your glass to the happy couple.
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Dance with the bride
Dancing with the bride is a special moment between father and child and a highlight of the wedding for many. It's a time when the father gets to dance with his little girl, who he's been guiding and protecting, but who is now all grown up. It's an emotional moment that can be made even more poignant with the right song choice.
The song should reflect the unique love between a father and daughter. It can be slow and relaxed or upbeat and rocky—it's entirely up to you. If you're looking for inspiration, here are some popular father-daughter dance songs:
- "Fathers & Daughters" by Michael Bolton or Paul Simon
- "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran
- "Ain't That Love" by Ray Charles
- "Ballerina Girl" by Lionel Richie
- "Constellations" by Jack Johnson
- "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan
- "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban
- "The Wonder of You" by Elvis Presley
- "True Colors" by Eva Cassidy
- "You Got It" by Roy Orbison
- "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle
- "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler
- "When My Little Girl Is Smiling" by The Drifters
- "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers
- "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright III
- "It's For My Dad" by Nancy & Frank Sinatra
- "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)" by Natalie Cole
- "Dance with My Father" by Luther Vandross
- "First Man" by Camila Cabello
- "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift
- "Hold My Girl" by George Ezra
- "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele or Bob Dylan
- "Your Song" by Elton John
- "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton
- "I Hope You Dance" by Chris Stapleton (Lee Ann Womack cover)
- "When You Need Me" by Bruce Springsteen
- "Joy of My Life" by Chris Stapleton
- "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts
- "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman
- "Forever Now" by Michael Bublé
- "I Loved Her First" by Heartland
- "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw
- "Sweet Child O Mine" by Music Travel Love (Guns & Roses Cover)
- "Daddy's Little Girl" by Michael Bublé
- "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra
- "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion
- "Sweet Pea" by Amos Lee
- "Right By You" by John Legend
If dancing isn't your forte, consider taking dance lessons or practising with your partner at home. It's also a good idea to discuss song choices with the bride to ensure you're both comfortable with the music and the dance style.
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Frequently asked questions
The father of the groom usually gives a heartfelt speech at the wedding reception. He also has other responsibilities, such as hosting the rehearsal dinner, greeting guests, and dancing with the bride.
The father of the bride traditionally walks his daughter down the aisle and gives her away at the altar. He also typically offers financial contribution and helps with contract negotiations.
Fathers can be involved by providing financial support, using their strengths and skills (e.g. negotiation or floral arrangement), and being a source of emotional support for their children.
The fathers can be included in the processional, greeted by the couple during the ceremony, given VIP seating, or asked to recite wedding readings or prayers. They can also be involved in unity ceremonies, hold the wedding rings, or sign the marriage license.
The fathers should choose their wedding attire based on the style and vibe of the celebration. They can rent or buy a tuxedo, ensuring it matches the wedding party's attire.