Make Your Wedding Night Memorable: Tips For Great Sex

The wedding night is often anticipated as a time when newlyweds will have perfect, mind-blowing sex. However, this is not always the case, and it can be a nerve-racking and stressful experience for many couples. To make it special, it's important to communicate with your partner about your wants, desires, boundaries, and expectations. It's also crucial to manage your expectations and remember that not every couple has great sex on their wedding night due to exhaustion or other factors. Creating a romantic atmosphere, taking breaks from sex before the wedding, and focusing on foreplay can also enhance the experience. Additionally, personal grooming, eye contact, flirting, and sensitivity to your partner's wants and consent are key elements to consider.

Foreplay is key

Foreplay is an essential aspect of sex, so don't skip it! It's your secret weapon to set the mood, build intimacy, and create an experience that's mind-blowing for both you and your partner. It's about taking things slow, exploring each other's bodies, and building anticipation. From gentle touches and kisses to whispered sweet nothings, foreplay can add layers of intimacy and intensity you never knew existed.

• Communication is key: Discuss your desires, boundaries, and expectations with your partner before engaging in foreplay. This can help you both feel more comfortable and explore each other's bodies in a more meaningful way.
• Set the mood: Use dim lights, scented candles, and soft music to help you both relax and feel more comfortable.
• Experimentation: Don't be afraid to try new things during foreplay. Experiment with different positions, techniques, and toys to explore each other's bodies and find out what works best for you both.
• Pay attention to the senses: Use all five senses during foreplay to create a more intimate and sensual experience. Play with textures, smells, and tastes by using different fabrics, lotions, oils, and foods.
• Create different scenarios or play games: This can enhance pleasure and arousal. For example, play a board game that ends with sexual acts, or dress up in costumes to create a new and exciting experience.
• Use toys and props: Incorporating toys and props can add more excitement and variety to your foreplay sessions. Try using feathers, handcuffs, whips, or vibrators to stimulate each other's bodies and create new sensations.
• Sensory stimulation: Play with the senses of touch, sight, smell, taste, and sound. For touch, gently run your fingers over your partner's skin or use something soft like a feather. For sight, do a little striptease or wear something that makes you feel confident. Set the mood with dim lights or candles. Light a scented candle or use a nice-smelling lotion. Feed each other something delicious like chocolate-covered strawberries. Whisper sweet or naughty things in their ear. Play some romantic or sexy music to set the vibe.
• Role-playing and fantasies: Pretend to be someone else by dressing up and acting out different scenarios, like a naughty nurse or a mysterious stranger at a bar. Share what you've always wanted to try and give it a go.
• Emotional connection: Getting close emotionally can make the physical stuff even better. Talk about your dreams, feelings, and what you want in life. Share personal stories, give compliments, and offer affirmations. Do something fun together, like cooking a meal or taking a walk.
• Teasing and anticipation: Build anticipation by taking your time undressing each other or sending flirty or suggestive texts throughout the day. During intimate moments, take short breaks to catch your breath and look into each other's eyes.

Create the right atmosphere

Creating the right atmosphere for your wedding night is crucial to making the experience unforgettable. Here are some tips to set the perfect mood:

Lighting

The lighting you choose can significantly impact the atmosphere. Soft, warm lighting can create a romantic and intimate vibe. Consider lighting some candles to achieve a warm and inviting glow. Fairy lights are also a popular choice, adding a whimsical and magical touch to the room. If you're feeling adventurous, try lighting some lanterns to illuminate the space.

Music

The music you select will also influence the atmosphere. Soft and slow songs are ideal for evoking a romantic feeling. If you're looking for something more upbeat and festive, consider live music or a DJ to get everyone on the dance floor. You could even mix it up with a combination of both to keep the night entertaining.

Decor

The decor of your wedding venue also plays a crucial role. Opt for soft, neutral colours, delicate decorations, and romantic lighting to create a dreamy atmosphere. Flowers are a must-have, adding a touch of romance and fragrance to the room. Candles, once again, are a versatile addition, creating either a romantic or festive mood. Fairy lights are perfect for sprinkling some sparkle throughout the venue.

Scents

Appeal to the sense of smell by incorporating alluring fragrances. Scented candles or essential oils in a diffuser can fill the room with a romantic aroma. Choose fragrances that are meaningful to you and your partner, evoking emotions and memories.

Food and Drink

The food and drinks you offer can set the tone for the entire night. Ensure you have a good selection of both soft drinks and alcoholic beverages to cater to different tastes. Consider serving fun and festive mocktails for a playful twist. As for food, opt for sharing dishes that can be eaten with your hands, like a cheese platter. This creates an intimate and sensual dining experience.

Remember, creating a romantic atmosphere is about appealing to the senses. By combining the right lighting, music, decor, scents, and food, you can set the stage for a magical wedding night.

Discuss boundaries and expectations

Discussing boundaries and expectations is an important aspect of any relationship. Being open and honest about your desires and comfort levels can prevent disappointment and strengthen communication. Here are some tips to help you navigate this conversation:

• Have an open conversation: Talk to your partner about your wants and desires. Be vulnerable and share any nervousness or anxiety you may be feeling. Discuss your expectations for the wedding night and whether you plan to have sex. It's important to get on the same page and manage each other's expectations.
• Address any concerns: If you have any worries or boundaries you want to set, be sure to communicate them to your partner. For example, if you're feeling anxious about the intimacy expectations or have specific turn-offs, let your partner know.
• Explore each other's past experiences: If one or both of you have had sexual partners in the past, it's important to share this information. You don't need to know the details, but being transparent can build trust and understanding.
• Discuss your sexual history: If you have viewed pornography, read erotica, or struggled with lust, it's important to address this. Pornography can impact a couple's sex life, so it's crucial to be proactive and seek help if needed.
• Talk about birth control and protection: Discuss whether you plan to use birth control and, if so, what kind. Additionally, talk about any history of sexually transmitted diseases if either of you has been sexually active in the past.
• Set boundaries: Determine if there are any acts or behaviours that are off-limits or uncomfortable for you. Communicate these boundaries to your partner to ensure your comfort and safety.
• Frequency and sex drive: Discuss how often you expect to have sex and how you will navigate differences in sex drive. It's important to understand each other's needs and work together to find a balance that works for both of you.
• Seek guidance: If you're unsure about how to approach these conversations, consider seeking guidance from a pastor, therapist, or a trusted older couple. They can provide support and advice as you navigate these intimate topics.
• Be flexible and empathetic: Remember that your partner may have different expectations or concerns. Approach these conversations with flexibility and empathy, respecting each other's feelings and working together to find solutions.
• Create a safe and non-judgmental space: When discussing boundaries and expectations, create a safe and non-judgmental environment. Listen to each other without criticism or shame, and respect each other's thoughts and feelings.
• Focus on quality time and connection: Ultimately, the wedding night is about spending quality time with your new spouse. Whether you choose to be intimate or not, focus on connecting emotionally, expressing your love, and savouring the present moment.

Choose a comfortable position

The key to a memorable wedding night is creating beautiful memories that you can cherish forever. If you're nervous about your first time, it's important to remember that it's normal to feel apprehensive. Here are some comfortable positions to try:

Missionary

The missionary position is a classic for a reason. The bride can lie on her back with her legs pulled up and over her spouse's shoulders, locking her ankles behind their neck for stability. This variation allows for deeper thrusts and can be pleasurable for both partners. The groom can also pop up on pillows to make it easier to kiss and touch during sex.

Spooning

The spoon position is a side-by-side position where the bride lies with her back to her partner. It can be a bit tricky for the groom to enter, but with a little adjustment, it can be very pleasurable. This position creates an intimate connection through full-body touch and is ideal for transitioning to other positions.

Modified Missionary

If you want to spice things up, try a modified version of the missionary position. The bride can lie on her back with her legs pulled up and over her spouse's shoulders. The groom can then thrust at a unique angle, leading to deeper penetration. This position is a favourite among women as it provides direct clitoral stimulation.

The Lotus

The lotus position is great for couples who want to feel close and intimate. Wrap your legs around each other while sitting up, allowing you to line up your torsos and embrace for a cuddly experience. Moans and heavy breathing in your partner's ear will heighten arousal.

The Emotional Support Spouse

Get cosy and snuggle up with your new spouse. One partner lies on top of the other, providing a sense of comfort and intimacy. The receiver lies on their stomach with their hips propped up on a pillow, while the giver penetrates from behind.

Remember, the most important thing is to relax, communicate, and focus on enjoying each other's company. Don't feel pressured to perform and instead, go with the flow. You can always save sex for the next morning or simply cuddle up and watch a movie together.

Lower your expectations

It's easy to get caught up in the idea that your wedding night has to be perfect and that you must have mind-blowing sex. However, it's important to remember that not everyone has an incredible experience and that it's normal if you don't. There are many reasons why couples might not have sex on their wedding night, and that's okay!

The most common reason is simply exhaustion. By the time you get to your room, you might just want to crash and go to sleep. There's also the pressure of having enjoyable, romantic, and magical sex, which can be a lot to live up to. It's easy to get caught up in unrealistic expectations, especially when sex is often inaccurately depicted in films and TV shows. Remember, it's normal to not have sex on your wedding night—less than 40% of couples do, according to a 2018 survey.

If you do want to have sex, it's important to communicate your desires to your partner and discuss your expectations. You might want to plan ahead of time and save some energy for the experience. However, don't stress yourself out—if you're feeling too tired or overwhelmed, it's fine to take sex off the table for the night and just go with the flow. You can always try again in the morning!

If you're nervous about your wedding night, remember that it's all about spending time with your partner and enjoying yourselves. Don't get too caught up in expectations and stereotypes. Stick to what makes you comfortable, whether that's your normal sex position or turning off the lights. It's also a good idea to take things slowly and romantically, especially if it's your first time.

Frequently asked questions