Involving Mom: A Daughter's Wedding, Making Her Feel Special

A wedding is a significant event for the entire family, especially for mothers. It can be a nostalgic and emotional time as they witness their child walk down the aisle and start a new chapter in their life. While mothers are often involved in planning their daughter's wedding, the focus tends to shift towards the fathers on the big day. However, there are several ways to make mothers feel involved and appreciated during the wedding ceremony and celebrations.

Involve her in the wedding dress shopping

Wedding dress shopping is a special experience for a bride, and it can be made even more memorable by involving the mother of the bride. Here are some ways to ensure she feels involved in this process:

Include Her in the Dress Shopping Process

It is customary for the mother of the bride to accompany her daughter when shopping for a wedding dress. This is a time-honoured tradition and a great way to make the mother feel involved. It is also an excellent opportunity for the mother and daughter to bond and create lasting memories. The mother can offer valuable feedback and support during this exciting but often overwhelming time.

Seek Her Honest Opinion

The mother of the bride is usually one of the most trusted advisors when it comes to dress styles and can provide an honest and constructive opinion. It is important to let the bride speak first about her likes and dislikes, and then allow the mother to offer her perspective. This dynamic ensures that the mother feels included and valued while also respecting the bride's vision and preferences.

Be Mindful of Your Words

When offering feedback, it is essential to be gentle and considerate. Avoid harsh criticism or negative comments that could hurt the bride's feelings. Instead, focus on constructive suggestions related to the dress itself, rather than how it looks on her. For example, say "that dress is cut boxy" instead of "that dress makes you look boxy." Be mindful of the bride's sensitivity and adjust your feedback accordingly.

Let the Bride Guide the Appointment

While the mother's input is valuable, it is essential to remember that the appointment should be guided by the bride and her consultant. Avoid overwhelming the bride by pulling dresses that are not her style or are out of her budget. Instead, ask her first if she is open to suggestions. This ensures that the mother's input is considered while still giving the bride control over the process.

Create a Memorable Moment

The moment a bride says "yes" to her dream dress is incredibly special. Avoid stealing this moment by making suggestions such as "you can't say yes now; you have to sleep on it." Instead, celebrate with her and let her savour the experience. This is a once-in-a-lifetime memory for both the bride and her mother, so ensure it is a positive and joyful occasion.

Involving the mother of the bride in the wedding dress shopping process is a wonderful way to create a deeper connection and make lasting memories. By following these suggestions, you can ensure that the mother feels valued and included while also respecting the bride's vision and experience.

Ask her to give a reading at the ceremony

Asking your mother to give a reading at the ceremony is a great way to make her feel involved in your wedding. Here are some tips on how to go about it:

Choose the Right Reading

The first step is to select an appropriate reading that resonates with both you and your mother. It can be anything from scripture to a poem, song lyrics, or even a movie quote. Consider your relationship, hobbies, and interests when making your choice. If your mother has a favourite author or book, you could select an excerpt from there.

Give Her Enough Time to Prepare

Once you've chosen the reading, give your mother plenty of time to prepare. She might want to practice beforehand, especially if she's nervous about public speaking. Send her the reading in advance, along with any notes or instructions you have.

Make Her Feel Special

Asking your mother to give a reading is a way to honour her and make her feel valued. Remind her of this, and let her know how much it means to you. You could even present the request as a special honour or privilege.

Provide Context and Guidance

Provide your mother with some context about the reading. Why did you choose it? What does it mean to you? What do you want her to focus on or emphasise when she reads it? This will help her feel more connected to the reading and give a more meaningful performance.

Offer Practical Tips

There are some practical things your mother might need help with, especially if she's not familiar with wedding ceremonies. Let her know where she should sit, and whether she needs to walk down the aisle or be escorted. If she's worried about tripping in her shoes, suggest a pair that will be comfortable and steady for her.

Reassure Her

If your mother is nervous about speaking in front of a large group, reassure her that she will do a wonderful job. Offer to help her practice, and give her feedback and encouragement. Let her know that it's an honour for her to be included, and that you believe in her abilities.

Show Your Appreciation

After the wedding, be sure to thank your mother for her contribution. You could even give her a small gift as a token of your appreciation. It could be something related to the reading, like a book of poetry, or simply a heartfelt card expressing your gratitude.

Involving your mother in your wedding by asking her to give a reading is a beautiful way to honour her and create a lasting memory together. It's a chance for her to shine and feel valued, and it will add a special touch to your ceremony.

Include her in the first dance

There are many ways to make a mother feel involved in her daughter's wedding, and one of the most special moments is the first dance. Here are some ideas to include her in this memorable part of the celebration:

The Grand Entrance

The grand entrance is an important moment during the wedding reception. The wedding party lines up, often in pairs, and enters the room to lively music played by the DJ or emcee. The mother of the bride can be included in this entrance by escorting her down the aisle with a close male relative, such as a son or brother. This will make her feel special and honoured in front of all the guests.

The First Dance

The first dance is a romantic moment for the newlyweds, and it usually signifies the beginning of the wedding reception. The couple may choose to have a choreographed dance or simply wing it. A unique way to include the mother of the bride in this dance is to invite her to join the couple on the dance floor after the first verse and chorus. This gesture symbolises the new relationships formed through the marriage and ensures she feels involved in this special moment.

The Mother-Daughter Dance

More and more brides are opting for a mother-daughter dance at their weddings, in addition to the traditional father-daughter dance. This dance is a beautiful way to honour the bride's matriarch and create a lasting memory. It can be a simple slow dance or something more upbeat and choreographed. Either way, it will be a meaningful moment for both the bride and her mother.

The Hora

If the couple is Jewish, the hora, a lively circle dance, may follow the first dance. The couple and their parents are typically lifted up on chairs during this dance. The mother of the bride can be included in this joyous tradition, making her feel like an integral part of the celebration.

The Anniversary Dance

The anniversary dance, also known as the bouquet dance, is a sweet tradition where all married couples are invited to the dance floor. The DJ asks couples who have been married for shorter periods to take a seat, until the longest-married couple is left dancing. The mother of the bride can be honoured by asking her and her spouse to join this dance, especially if they have been married for a long time.

Ask her opinion on the guest list

Involving the mother of the bride in the wedding planning process is a great way to make her feel valued and appreciated. Asking for her opinion on the guest list is a wonderful way to do this, and there are several ways to go about it.

Firstly, it is important to be upfront and honest. Show your mother the plan and guest list so far, and ask her opinion on it. Be open to her suggestions and feedback, and try to incorporate her ideas where possible. If there are certain people she would like to invite, consider whether you can include them. If not, explain to her why this might not be possible, whether that is due to budget, venue capacity, or something else.

Traditionally, the guest list is split into thirds: one-third are guests of the bride's parents, one-third are guests of the groom's, and the rest are guests of the couple. This is a good starting point, but it doesn't always work for every wedding. If your mother wants to invite more people than this, you could ask the groom's family to cut down their list, or invite fewer friends to make room for additional guests. Alternatively, you could reserve a portion of the guest list for your mother to allocate herself. This gives her freedom to invite who she wants, as long as it fits within your budget and venue capacity.

Your mother is likely to know a lot of the people on the guest list, so she is the perfect person to help with RSVPs. You could ask her to be the point of contact for chasing up any missing RSVPs, and to help with contacting people you need to invite at the last minute.

Remember, your mother will want to feel useful and involved, so asking for her opinion on the guest list is a great way to include her in the wedding planning process.

Give her a gift to show appreciation

Giving your mother a gift is a wonderful way to express your gratitude and make her feel involved in your wedding. Here are some thoughtful gift ideas to show your appreciation:

Customised Gifts

A customised or personalised gift is always a good idea. You could get your mother a custom-etched wine bottle with a short, heartfelt message. Alternatively, you could get her a personalised spiral recipe journal, a customised photo clutch lining, or a photo travel case.

Jewellery

Jewellery is a classic gift option and can be a wonderful way to symbolise your relationship. Consider getting your mother a piece of jewellery with both of your birthstones or initials. For example, a crystal tennis bracelet, pearl drop earrings, or an interlocking heart bracelet.

Self-Care Gifts

Self-care gifts are a great option to help your mother relax and unwind, especially after all the wedding planning. You could get her a self-care subscription box, herbal warming slippers, or a luxurious silk robe.

Sentimental Gifts

Sentimental gifts are a perfect way to evoke emotions and show your love. You could give your mother a personalised photo album or scrapbook filled with images from your life together. Alternatively, you could get her a sentimental framed photo of the two of you or a custom illustration of you both.

Experience Gifts

Instead of a physical gift, you could give your mother the gift of an experience. Plan a trip to a unique destination that you have both always wanted to visit, or organise a spa day for just the two of you to relax and bond.

Remember, when giving your mother a gift, it's not just about the material value but the sentiment and appreciation behind it. Choose a gift that suits your mother's personality and interests, and don't forget to spend some quality time with her, especially on your wedding day.

Frequently asked questions