Making Love On Your Wedding Night: A Guide For Couples

The wedding night is a highly anticipated event for many newlyweds, but it can also be a source of anxiety, especially for those who are virgins or have little sexual experience. To make the most of this special night, it is important to communicate openly with your partner about expectations, desires, and any potential challenges. Discussing sexual history and preferences can help to enhance intimacy and ensure that both partners are comfortable and on the same page.

Additionally, creating a romantic atmosphere can help set the mood. This can include choosing an appropriate location, such as a cosy night at home or a fancy hotel room, and adding special touches like flowers, fragrances, and music. Taking the time to relax and connect with your partner, whether through flirting, sharing snacks, or simply talking, can also enhance the experience.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to the wedding night. The most important thing is to ensure that both partners feel loved, respected, and comfortable. By prioritising open communication and creating a romantic atmosphere, you can set the foundation for a memorable and enjoyable wedding night.

Discuss expectations and sexual history

Discussing your expectations and sexual history before your wedding night is a great way to ensure you and your partner are on the same page and can help take away some of the anxiety, awkwardness, and nervousness you may be feeling. Here are some things to consider when having this conversation:

Expectations for the Wedding Night

This conversation may feel awkward, but it is important to talk about your expectations for how the wedding night will go. You don't need to go into detail, but sharing any nervousness or anxiety you're feeling can help your partner understand your mindset and vice versa. Discuss whether you plan to have sex that night, keeping in mind that you may be emotionally and physically exhausted from the wedding. If you don't want to have sex right away, consider planning your wedding day to start later or end earlier, so you have more time to rest.

Sexual History

It's important to be honest and share your sexual history with your partner. You don't need to disclose details about past partners, but it's crucial to know if there have been any other partners. Additionally, discuss whether either of you has viewed pornography or read erotica, and how frequently. Pornography can impact a couple's sex life, so it's important to address this topic proactively.

Expectations for Sex Life and Intimacy within Marriage

Talk about your expectations for your sex life and intimacy within your marriage. How often do you expect to have sex? What if one of you has a significantly higher or lower sex drive? Discuss birth control options and whether there are any boundaries you want to set. If either of you has been sexually active in the past, it's important to disclose any history of sexually transmitted diseases.

By having open and honest conversations about these topics, you can establish a good foundation for your marriage and ensure that you and your partner are on the same page about your expectations and comfort levels.

Prepare the room with flowers, candles, and music

Flowers, candles, and music are essential elements for creating a romantic atmosphere on your wedding night. Here are some tips to help you prepare the room and set the mood:

Flowers

Flowers are a classic way to add romance and elegance to your wedding night. Opt for your spouse's favourite flowers or go for traditional roses, which are often associated with love and passion. You can scatter rose petals on the bed and on the floor, creating a path leading to it. If you want to be more creative, consider combining different types of flowers, such as tulips, orchids, and carnations, to create a vibrant and colourful display.

Candles

Candles provide a soft and intimate glow, enhancing the romantic atmosphere. Place candles of varying heights and sizes around the room, such as on bedside tables, dressers, and the floor. For a more luxurious touch, use candelabras or gold-rimmed candle holders. Scented candles can also fill the room with alluring fragrances like ylang-ylang, lavender, jasmine, or sandalwood. Just be sure to choose scents that are not too overpowering.

Music

Music is a powerful way to enhance the mood and create a romantic backdrop for your wedding night. Create a personalised playlist of songs that hold special meaning for you as a couple, such as your first dance song. Choose music that reflects your style as a couple, whether it's classic love songs or something more unique like heavy metal. Play the music softly in the background, allowing it to complement the moment without being too intrusive.

Remember, the key is to create an intimate and relaxing atmosphere that reflects your style as a couple. By incorporating flowers, candles, and music, you can set the stage for a memorable and romantic wedding night.

Flirt and be physically intimate

Flirting and being physically intimate with your partner on your wedding night can be a fun and exciting way to connect and deepen your bond. Here are some tips to make it a memorable and enjoyable experience:

Flirting Tips:

• Compliment your spouse: Pay them genuine compliments throughout the day and night. Whether it's their physical appearance, a new haircut, or how they handled a difficult situation, let them know you appreciate and admire them.
• Use body language: A playful touch on the arm, a hug from behind, holding hands, or gazing into their eyes are all simple yet powerful ways to communicate your affection and increase romantic tension.
• Surprise date night: Plan a spontaneous outing or a special evening at home. Revisiting the place of your first date or trying something new can bring back excitement and create new memories.
• Leave notes: Write cute messages or romantic quotes and hide them in unexpected places, like their laptop bag or car glove box. This timeless gesture keeps the romance fresh and constant in their thoughts.
• Be interested in them: Make the flirting more about your spouse and less about yourself. Listen attentively, ask questions, maintain eye contact, and let them know you're engaged and interested in what they have to say.
• Send flirty texts: Modern-day love letters, like text messages, can be a fun and effective way to stay connected throughout the day. Use pet names, emoticons, or inside jokes to keep the communication fun and spontaneous.

Physical Intimacy Tips:

• Set the mood: Fill the room with flowers, play romantic music, and add fragrances like scented candles to enhance the atmosphere. These small touches create a romantic and sensual environment.
• Prepare sweet snacks: Foods like chocolate, strawberries, and honey are great aphrodisiacs. Feed each other small treats and end with a kiss, or lick sticky foods off each other for a playful twist.
• Spa treatment: Take a hot bath or shower together to relax and unwind after the wedding festivities. If you have access to a large bathtub or jacuzzi, take advantage of it. Follow it up with a sensual massage using mineral oil.
• Wear sexy attire: Slip into silk pajamas, a fancy robe, or lingerie. Remember that your spouse loves the way you look, so choose something that makes you feel confident and desirable.
• Focus on foreplay: Take your time and explore each other's bodies. Kiss, touch, and tease to build anticipation and intensify the experience. Know your partner's erogenous spots and weak points to heighten their pleasure.
• Communicate: Open and honest communication is essential for a satisfying physical connection. Talk about your desires, fantasies, and boundaries beforehand to ensure you're both on the same page and can fully enjoy the moment.

Wear sexy clothes or lingerie

Wearing sexy clothes or lingerie is a great way to spice up your wedding night. It's an opportunity to feel confident and special, and there are many options to choose from. Here are some tips to help you decide what to wear:

Choose Something That Makes You Feel Good

It's important to select lingerie that makes you feel confident and sexy. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable and empowered. Don't worry too much about following traditions or trends—choose lingerie that aligns with your personal preferences and makes you feel like the best version of yourself. Remember, your spouse loves the way you look and will appreciate your effort to spice things up.

Plan Ahead

Don't leave the selection of your wedding night lingerie to chance. Start planning early, especially if you intend to wear lingerie underneath your wedding gown. It's crucial to ensure that your lingerie blends seamlessly with your wedding ensemble, considering the style and colour of each piece. Try on your dress with the lingerie before the wedding to avoid any last-minute surprises.

Experiment with Different Styles

Your wedding night is an excellent opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and express yourself. Surprise your partner with a fun and flirty look. Don't be afraid to try something new and experiment with different styles of lingerie. Remember, it's all about enjoying yourself and celebrating your special day.

Fit is Crucial

When selecting lingerie, fit is of utmost importance, especially if you plan to wear it underneath your wedding dress. Ill-fitting lingerie can be uncomfortable and distracting. Visit a lingerie store to get professionally sized for your bra cup and band size, ensuring a seamless and comfortable fit.

Consider Your Budget

Lingerie can be expensive, especially if you're looking for high-quality pieces made from luxurious fabrics. Budget accordingly and be prepared to invest in quality items that will stand the test of time. Shop around if you're on a budget, or consider saving up for a few luxury items that you can cherish for years to come.

Choose Colour and Style

Wedding lingerie is traditionally white, but you don't have to follow this rule. Whether you opt for something blue, black, or any other colour, choose what makes you feel amazing. Similarly, you're not limited to lingerie—silk pyjamas, robes, or even nothing at all can be perfect choices for your wedding night.

Try It On in Advance

Don't forget to try on your lingerie before the wedding night. This will ensure that you feel confident and comfortable, and it can be a fun part of your wedding night preparations. If you're wearing lingerie with multiple pieces, such as a garter belt or bustier, make sure everything fits well and stays in place.

Remember, the most important thing is to feel confident and comfortable in what you wear. Enjoy the process of selecting your wedding night lingerie, and don't be afraid to ask for help or advice from a knowledgeable friend or expert.

Take your time and savour the moment

Taking the time to savour your wedding night is important. Here are some tips to make the most of it:

Enjoy the Time Leading Up to It

In the final stretch of planning and appointments, schedule some relaxing and enjoyable activities. This could be a romantic dinner date with your partner, a night of self-care at home, or a fun outing with your bridesmaids. It's a great way to de-stress and ensure you're not burnt out before the wedding night.

Take a Breather

Your wedding day will be busy, so make sure to take some downtime with your new spouse. Sneak away to a private room to recalibrate and savour the joy of your special day. This will help you feel refreshed and present for the rest of the celebrations.

Take Time to Relish the Moment

Your wedding day will fly by, so it's important to take a step back and soak it all in. Add a private moment together to your timeline to ensure it happens. This will be a precious opportunity to connect and create lasting memories.

Make Memories

Ensure you have something tangible to help you cherish the memories of your wedding night. Ask your guests to use your wedding hashtag, and request that your photographer and videographer capture all the special moments. That way, you can relive the magic through photos, videos, and social media posts.

Slow Down and Savour the Experience

Don't rush through your wedding night. Relax, take it slow, and savour every moment with your spouse. Even if it doesn't meet your expectations, it will still be a romantic and intimate experience. Focus on enjoying yourself and feeling connected to your partner.

Frequently asked questions