Crafting The Perfect Bride's Speech: A Guide To Wedding Oratory

Writing a wedding speech can be a daunting task, especially if you suffer from public speaking anxiety. However, it is a great opportunity to thank those who have helped you and your new spouse throughout the years, including your parents, siblings, close friends, and coworkers. It is also a chance to share a sweet anecdote or two about your journey as a couple.

- Decide on the logistics: Figure out when the speech will take place, who is giving it, and whether you will be speaking together or separately.

- Express gratitude: Thank your guests for attending, your wedding party members for their support, your out-of-town guests for travelling, and your parents and in-laws for their unending support.

- Mention those who couldn't be there: It is a lovely opportunity to honour those who were unable to attend the wedding due to health or travel issues, or to remember loved ones who have passed away.

- Share a story: Tell a humorous anecdote from wedding planning or a touching account of how you met and fell in love.

- End with your partner: Tell your new spouse how much they mean to you and how much the day means to you.

- Practice: If you're feeling anxious, practising your speech will help. Practice in front of a mirror, with a member of your wedding party, or even your dog.

Thank your guests

Thanking your guests is an important part of your wedding speech. It's a great opportunity to express your gratitude to your loved ones for sharing in the joy of your new beginning as a married couple. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you craft this section of your speech:

Welcome Your Guests

Begin your speech by welcoming your guests and expressing your appreciation for their presence. You can say something like:

"Good evening, everyone. Thank you all for joining us on this special day. We are honoured to have you here to celebrate with us."

Let your guests know how much it means to you that they took the time to attend your wedding and show their support. You can say something like:

"Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for coming to our wedding. It means so much to us to be surrounded by our loved ones on this happy occasion."

Mention Out-of-Town Guests and Those Who Helped

It's a thoughtful gesture to specifically acknowledge guests who travelled from far to be with you on your special day. You can also thank those who played a role in making your wedding day special, such as your wedding party, parents, or anyone who provided assistance:

"I want to give a special thanks to those who travelled from near and far to be here today. We truly appreciate your effort in making this celebration even more memorable. Additionally, I'd like to thank our wonderful parents, bridal party, and friends who lent their support and helped make this day possible."

Share a Story or Two

If you wish, you can include a brief story or two about your guests. Perhaps share a memory of a particular guest or a group of guests, or mention a funny anecdote that will entertain your audience. Just be mindful of the length of your speech and avoid inside jokes that may exclude some guests.

"I remember when my maid of honour and I went on a crazy road trip together, and we ended up getting lost in the middle of nowhere. It's a miracle we made it back in one piece, and it's a memory I'll always cherish."

Express Gratitude to Your New Spouse

While thanking your guests, don't forget to express your gratitude to the most important person of the day—your new spouse. Share a heartfelt message about what they mean to you and how they've impacted your life:

"To my new husband/wife, you are the light of my life, and I am forever grateful to have you by my side. Thank you for filling my life with love and joy. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives creating new memories together."

Share a story about your spouse

Sharing a story about your spouse is a great way to remind everyone why they have gathered to celebrate your otherworldly love. Here are some ideas for stories you could share:

A story from the early stages of dating

Share a funny, sweet, or romantic story from when you first started dating. This could be something that turned into an inside joke, like the time your partner's belt broke during your second date and a kind gentleman returned it to him, saying, "Sir, your belt." Or it could be a story that showcases a quality of your partner's that is beloved by everyone in the room, like their sense of humour or their generosity.

A story that showcases their support

Share a story about a time when your partner was there for you, supported your dreams, or cheered you up when you were feeling down. This could be a grand gesture or a small, everyday moment that showcases their unwavering support. For example, "There was this one time when I was having a really tough week, and my partner surprised me with a care package full of my favourite things. It's little moments like these that remind me how lucky I am to have found someone who loves and supports me so unconditionally."

A story about a shared adventure

Tell a story about an adventure or trip you took together. This could be a funny story about a mishap that occurred during the trip, or a sweet story about a meaningful moment you shared. For example, "One of my favourite memories with my partner was when we went hiking in the mountains for the first time. We got a little lost and ended up having to camp overnight, but we just laughed it off and made s'mores. It was in that moment that I realised that as long as I had them by my side, I could get through anything."

A story about a challenge you overcame together

Share a story about a challenge or difficult time you faced together, and how you worked as a team to overcome it. This could be a story about a difficult period in your relationship that you were able to move past, or a time when you had to support each other through a tough external circumstance. For example, "There was a time when we were both going through some personal struggles, but we leaned on each other and came out stronger on the other side. That experience taught us the importance of open communication and always showing up for each other, no matter what."

A story about a shared dream or goal

Talk about a shared dream or goal that you and your partner have, and how you plan to work together to achieve it. This could be a big, long-term goal like starting a family or a business, or it could be a smaller, more light-hearted goal like finally taking that dream vacation. For example, "One of the things I love most about my partner is their ambition and drive. We often talk about our shared dream of starting a business together, and I know that with their determination and my support, we'll be able to make it a reality."

Connect the story to your wedding day

This is your chance to shed some light on you and your partner's relationship. You can share a sweet anecdote about your relationship that will remind everyone why they've gathered to celebrate your otherworldly love.

For example, you could share a story about a moment from the early stages of dating that turned into an inside joke. Or, you could exemplify a quality of theirs that is beloved by everyone in the room (generosity, sense of humour, etc.).

Tie the central theme of the story you choose into the present day to show how far you've come as a couple. You could say something like: "They've kept me smiling from the day I met them all the way to walking down the aisle today." This will help your speech feel cohesive and well thought out.

"I knew you were a gentleman when we didn't kiss until the second date, but I won't repeat what you said to me on the third!"

"I'm not sure how many of you know this story, but on Jared and I's second date, we went ice skating. At some point during our laps around the rink, his belt fell off because of a broken buckle—we didn't notice it until a gentleman came up behind us and handed it back to him by saying, 'Sir, your belt.' The deadpan delivery had us both in fits of laughter—and the broken belt ended up being a fun way for me to get pulled around the rink, no longer relying on my sub-par skating skills."

"I knew the way you made me feel, you were the one! From that very first night out for a drink together in town, I knew this was the man I will love forever."

"I have never doubted whether I am doing the right thing marrying Jamie because I just know that this is the man I will grow old with and, at least as he is already bald, I am not in for any nasty surprises."

Mention those who couldn't be there

How to Mention Those Who Couldn't Be There in a Wedding Speech

It's common to want to acknowledge the people who couldn't attend your wedding, whether they are far away, unwell, or have passed away. Here are some suggestions on how to tastefully include them in your speech as the bride:

Absent Friends and Family:

• It is customary to thank your guests for their presence and support. You can begin by expressing your happiness at seeing so many friends and family gathered to celebrate with you.
• Then, you can smoothly transition to mentioning those who couldn't make it. For example, "It's wonderful to see so many of our friends and family here today. Unfortunately, Grandma and Grandpa Smith couldn't make the trip from New Zealand, but they send their love and best wishes. Let's raise our glasses to them and all our absent friends and family."

Absence Due to Illness:

If someone close to you is unable to attend due to illness or hospitalisation, you can acknowledge their absence and send your well wishes. For instance, "I want to give a special mention to my Dad, who is gutted that he couldn't be here today. He's currently recovering in the hospital, and we will be sure to share the celebration with him tomorrow. Let's raise our glasses to him and wish him a speedy recovery."

Honouring the Deceased:

• Honoring loved ones who have passed away can be a delicate matter. You may choose to include an inclusive tribute to all those who have passed, such as "For all our loved ones who are no longer with us, I know they are smiling down on us today with joy, knowing that we have found each other."
• Alternatively, you can give a more specific tribute to one or two important people. For example, "I want to raise a glass to my Grandpa Dan. Although he can't be here today, I know he's raising a glass of his favourite whiskey in heaven, sending his love and blessings."
• If you have a close relationship with the deceased, you may want to share a story or anecdote that brings joy and highlights their connection to the couple. For instance, "My daughter and her dad shared a nightly ritual of eating ice cream together. So, to my daughter, I know your dad isn't here to continue this tradition, but I know he'd want you to think of him every time you recall those memories and create new, sweet moments with your spouse."
• It is essential to determine if it is your place to share. Consider your relationship with the couple and the deceased. If you are a parent and the deceased is your spouse, it is appropriate to speak about them. However, if you are a distant friend, it may be best to refrain from mentioning them.

Keep it Tasteful:

• While it is important to acknowledge those who couldn't be there, be mindful of the overall tone of your speech. Keep the focus on the joy of the occasion and the people who are present.
• Avoid making your speech morbid or depressing. Instead, strike a balance by honouring the deceased while still keeping the mood upbeat and celebratory.
• Practice your speech beforehand, and if in doubt, consider running your ideas by the couple to ensure your tribute is well-received and not too emotional for the big day.

End with your partner

Now, it's time to turn to your partner and share how much they mean to you. You can also share anything else that didn't fit into your vows. This is your chance to gush about your partner and share a humorous anecdote from your relationship or wedding planning, or a touching story of how you met and fell in love.

Keep it light-hearted and appropriate for the audience. You can also tie in the central theme of the story you chose earlier in your speech to show how far you've come as a couple. For example, you could say something like: "I knew you were a gentleman when we didn't kiss until the second date, but I won't repeat what you said to me on the third!" or "I knew the way you made me feel, you were the one!".

You could also share a funny story from your wedding planning journey, such as: "I'd like to give some special shout-outs to my parents and my new in-laws for always being there for us, and for fielding absurd questions with the utmost grace and patience, such as: 'but what if everyone gets lost on their way to our very-clearly-marked-on-Google-Maps ceremony venue'?".

Remember to keep this part of your speech sincere and concise, and most importantly, focus on your partner and how they make you feel.

Frequently asked questions