Seating Strategies: Planning Your Wedding Guest List

Creating a wedding seating plan can be a stressful task, but it doesn't have to be. Here are some tips to help you make a wedding seating chart with minimal stress.

First, wait until about two to three weeks before the wedding to start devising your seating plan, once you've received responses from your guests. You'll need to decide on a wedding seating layout—what types of tables you want and how you want to arrange them. If you're struggling, consult your wedding planner, or consider your budget and venue to work out what makes the most sense in terms of furniture rentals.

Next, settle on where to place each person. You can assign guests to a particular table instead of a specific seat if that's easier. Choose your table shape—rectangular tables make it easier for guests to chat, while round tables are simpler to sort, as you only need to think about who's sitting next to whom. You can use an online tool or a spreadsheet to help you organise your guest list and seating plan.

Seat yourselves in a central location, either at a sweetheart table reserved for just the two of you, or at the head table with your wedding party or parents and close relatives. Then seat your wedding party—either at the head table with you, or at several VIP tables nearby. After that, seat your parents and grandparents close by. If you're dealing with divorced parents, you might want to have separate tables for each set of parents, or seat them at opposite ends of the same table.

You can also make family tables, especially if you have large families who don't get together often. If there will be children at the wedding, it's a good idea to have a separate kids' table to keep them occupied.

Finally, when it comes to telling your guests where to sit, arrange their names in alphabetical order, so they can find their seats easily.

Choose a table shape: rectangular or round tables have different pros and cons

When it comes to choosing a table shape for your wedding, you'll typically be deciding between rectangular or round tables. Both options have their pros and cons, and your decision will depend on factors such as your venue, the number of guests, and your desired atmosphere. Here's a detailed breakdown to help you choose:

Rectangular Tables:

• Pros: Rectangular tables are elegant and modern. They create a trendy, contemporary atmosphere and are especially stunning when placed end to end to create a sense of symmetry. They are a good choice if you want to showcase long, sprawling tables with gorgeous garlands, strings of bulbs, or dripping candelabras. Rectangular tables are also a better option if you're tight on space, as they can be pushed against walls and fit into corners more easily than round tables.
• Cons: These tables may hinder conversation, as guests sitting at opposite ends will have a harder time chatting. Additionally, if you opt for extra-long banquet-style tables, guests in the centre may find it inconvenient to access the dance floor, bar, or bathroom. Rectangular tables can also be more expensive, as they require more tables, linens, and centrepieces for the same number of guests compared to round tables.

Round Tables:

• Pros: Round tables promote better interaction and conversation among guests, as everyone can see and talk to each other more easily. They are versatile and can work for a variety of wedding themes, from rustic to beachside celebrations. Round tablecloths are also readily available in various sizes, making it easier to personalize your linens.
• Cons: While round tables are classic and timeless, they may feel more traditional or expected. They can also be challenging to fit into a small venue due to their shape. Additionally, you'll need to consider the centrepieces carefully to ensure they don't obstruct guests' views or make it difficult to chat.

Ultimately, the choice between rectangular and round tables depends on your personal preference and the specific details of your wedding. You may even decide to mix and match, offering your guests different seating options and adding visual variety to your venue.

Seat the happy couple: the newlyweds' table should be central

Seating charts are an important part of wedding planning, helping to control the crowd and providing guests with key information about where to sit. It's a good idea to start planning your seating chart early, even before all your RSVPs are in, to save time and stress later on.

A sweetheart table is a small table designated solely for the newlywed couple at their wedding reception. It offers the couple a bit of intimacy and a chance to focus on each other during the busy day. The newlyweds' table should be central, allowing the couple to feel like VIPs and ensuring they are the centre of attention.

• Choose a prominent location for the table, such as on an over-water bridge or a bridge overlooking a cliff. This will make the couple feel special and provide beautiful photo opportunities.
• Use decorative elements to draw attention to the table. For example, you could use a colourful garland, an oversized floral wreath, or a statement-making backdrop.
• Incorporate meaningful details that represent the couple's interests, heritage, or theme of the wedding. For instance, you could include a custom neon sign, a Claddagh sign, or a vintage mirror vanity table.
• Add luxurious touches to elevate the table setting, such as gold-rimmed crystal glassware, gilded vases, or elegant candelabras.
• Consider the surrounding area when planning the table decor. For an outdoor wedding, use the natural elements to your advantage by incorporating wildflowers, potted plants, or hanging vines.
• Play with different textures and layers to create a visually appealing and inviting space. Mix and match linens, incorporate candles, and add personal touches such as handmade centrepieces or eclectic candle holders.
• If you want to include family members or the wedding party at the head table, leave some space in front of the sweetheart table so that the couple doesn't feel crowded and guests can still have unobstructed views of the dance floor.

Seat the wedding party: attendants' dates shouldn't be separated

Seating the wedding party with their dates is a considerate approach to ensure everyone's comfort and happiness at your wedding. Here are some suggestions for how to approach this:

• Sweetheart Table: Opt for a sweetheart table, where it's just you and your partner. This way, you can create a romantic setting for just the two of you while allowing your wedding party and their dates to sit together at nearby tables.
• King's Table: If you want your wedding party by your side, consider a "King's Table" or a large giant table where both the wedding party and their dates can sit together. This promotes interaction and a fun atmosphere.
• Inclusive Head Table: You can also choose to include your wedding party and their dates at the head table. While this may require some adjustments based on space constraints, it's a great way to honour your friends and their significant others.
• Separate Tables for Wedding Party: If you prefer to have a more intimate head table with just you, your partner, and perhaps your parents or maid of honour/best man, you can seat the wedding party members and their dates at separate tables nearby. This way, they can still feel like guests and enjoy the company of their partners.
• Mix and Match: Depending on the dynamics of your wedding party and their dates, you can get creative by mixing and matching seating arrangements. For example, you could seat some of the wedding party members with their dates and others with mutual friends or family. The key is to ensure that everyone feels comfortable and welcomed.

Remember, the goal is to create a seating arrangement that fosters a positive and enjoyable experience for your wedding party and their dates. By considering their comfort and relationships, you can make informed decisions that will make your special day memorable for everyone involved.

Seat parents and grandparents: family tables are great for catching up

Seating your parents and grandparents is an important part of your wedding planning. Here are some tips to help you navigate this aspect of your special day:

Reserve Seats for Parents and Grandparents:

It is customary for the parents and grandparents of both the bride and groom to be seated at the same reception table, along with siblings not in the wedding party, the officiant and their spouse, and any other close family members. This arrangement fosters a sense of family unity and can make for a lively and intimate atmosphere.

Consider Separate Tables:

However, if you have a large number of relatives or wish to avoid potential discomfort due to unfamiliarity or strained relationships, you may opt for separate parent tables. This allows each set of parents to sit with their own relatives and close friends, ensuring everyone feels comfortable and has ample opportunity for conversation and connection.

Seat Them in Advance:

For older grandparents or relatives with mobility issues, consider seating them before the ceremony begins. This gives them time to get settled without feeling rushed and ensures they are comfortable throughout the proceedings.

Determine the Order:

If both sets of grandparents are in attendance, they should walk down the aisle together at the beginning of the processional, with the groom's grandparents being seated first, followed by the bride's grandparents. If ushers are available, they can escort the grandparents to their seats. Alternatively, you can ask siblings or cousins to accompany them, making it a true family affair.

Communicate with Your Family:

Finally, don't hesitate to communicate with your parents and grandparents about their preferences and expectations. Ask them if they would like to be seated in advance or walk down the aisle. Taking their wishes into account will help ensure that everyone feels involved and valued on your special day.

Make a kids' table: children are more comfortable with other kids

If you're inviting children to your wedding, a kids' table can be a great way to keep them entertained and give their parents a break. Here are some tips for creating a kids' table that's comfortable and fun for your youngest guests:

Choose the Right Age Group:

Decide whether your kids' table will be for children of all ages or suggest that kids aged 5 and up sit together. Older children tend to self-entertain well, so they may need less supervision and activities. If you have a mix of ages attending, you could set up one table for younger kids and another for older ones.

Provide Comfy Seating:

Instead of the usual chairs, create a comfy lounge area with pillows and mats that match your wedding decor. This will give fidgety kids a space to relax and hang out.

Offer Fun Activities:

Keep the kids entertained with colouring books, crayons, and printable colouring sheets. You can even create personalised printables or Mad Libs sheets that tie into your wedding theme. For older kids, include craft projects, disposable cameras for a game of "I-Spy," and travel-sized games.

Serve Kid-Friendly Food:

Place lunch boxes or themed treats at the kids' table to keep hungry youngsters happy. You can also provide DIY bubble wands and bubbles for a fun, interactive snack.

Hire a Babysitter:

Consider hiring a babysitter or chaperone for the kids' table. This will allow parents to fully enjoy the wedding while knowing their children are being supervised and entertained.

Create a Separate Kids' Space:

If your venue has the room, set up a separate area just for kids, with games, crafts, and entertainment. This could be a boho-style tent or a floor play area with mats and toys.

Remember to personalise the kids' table to fit your wedding theme and consider including some special touches like a face painter or balloon twister. With a bit of planning, your youngest guests will have a memorable time at your wedding!

Frequently asked questions