Planning A Wedding: Timeline And Tips For A Perfect Day

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, but creating a timeline can help you stay organized and ensure your big day goes smoothly. Here's a step-by-step guide to creating a wedding planning timeline:

1. Determine Your Engagement Length:

The length of your engagement will impact your planning timeline. The average engagement length is around 12-15 months, but every couple is different. If you're working with a shorter engagement, consider condensing your planning timeline accordingly.

2. Set Your Budget:

Before you start planning, determine your budget and who will be contributing. This will guide all your spending and help you prioritize what's important to you.

3. Create a Guest List:

The size of your guest list will impact venue choices and overall costs. Discuss with your partner and families to finalize the list.

4. Decide on a Wedding Planner:

If your budget allows, consider hiring a wedding planner to guide you through the process. They can provide valuable expertise and take some of the burdens off your shoulders.

5. Choose a Wedding Style and Theme:

Decide on the vibe you want for your wedding. This will influence everything from the venue to the decorations.

6. Select a Venue:

The venue is a critical decision as it affects many other aspects of your wedding, including the number of guests, decorations, and catering options.

7. Book Vendors:

Start researching and booking vendors early, especially those who book up quickly, such as photographers, bands, DJs, and caterers.

8. Choose a Date:

Pick a date that works for you and your partner, as well as key guests and vendors. Consider the availability of your desired venue and vendors when choosing a date.

9. Insure Your Ring and Purchase Wedding Insurance:

Don't forget to insure your engagement ring, and consider purchasing wedding insurance to protect yourself from any unforeseen issues on the big day.

10. Create a Wedding Website:

A wedding website is a great way to keep your guests informed and excited about your upcoming nuptials. It's also a central place to share important details and updates.

11. Send Save-the-Dates:

Send out save-the-dates to give your guests a heads-up, especially if you're planning a destination wedding or have many guests travelling.

12. Choose Your Wedding Party:

Decide on your bridal party and groomsmen, and propose to them in a thoughtful way. They will be your support system throughout the planning process.

13. Start Shopping for Attire:

Begin the exciting process of shopping for your wedding dress or suit, as well as attire for your wedding party. Allow plenty of time for fittings and alterations.

14. Book Hotel Room Blocks:

Reserve room blocks at nearby hotels for out-of-town guests. This ensures they have convenient and affordable accommodation options.

15. Finalize Your Guest List:

Finalize the guest list, taking into account your budget and venue capacity. This will help with catering and seating arrangements.

16. Send Out Invitations:

Design and send out formal wedding invitations, typically two to three months before the wedding. Don't forget to include RSVP cards and set an RSVP deadline.

17. Plan the Ceremony and Reception:

Decide on the order of events for the ceremony and reception, including any special traditions or rituals you want to include.

18. Choose Your Menu:

Work with your caterer to finalize the menu, taking into account any dietary restrictions or preferences.

19. Select Music and Entertainment:

Choose your wedding music, whether it's a band, DJ, or playlist, and consider any special songs or dedications.

20. Plan Transportation:

If needed, organize transportation for guests between ceremony and reception venues, as well as for the wedding party.

21. Purchase Wedding Bands:

Shop for your wedding bands together and allow enough time for any customizations or sizing adjustments.

22. Create a Seating Chart:

Create a seating chart for the reception, taking into account the preferences and dynamics of your guests.

23. Finalize Details:

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, confirm all the final details with your vendors, including timing, deliveries, and setup.

24. Enjoy Your Big Day:

On the day of your wedding, relax and let your planning pay off. Enjoy every moment and savour the memories you're creating!

Budgeting and stakeholders

Budgeting:

Determining your wedding budget is crucial as it influences every decision and purchase. Start by figuring out who's paying for what and set a realistic budget. Consider the following steps:

• Identify stakeholders: Discuss with your partner, family, and anyone else who might contribute financially. Be clear on how much each party can afford and is willing to spend.
• Assess your finances: Understand what you and your partner can comfortably afford. Factor in daily expenses, debts, and future costs like a down payment on a home.
• Prioritize: Decide what's important to you both. Do you want a large guest list or an intimate gathering? A live band or a DJ? A designer gown or a custom suit? These choices will impact your budget.
• Research costs: Look into average wedding costs in your area. Consider venue prices, catering, photography, attire, flowers, entertainment, stationery, and decorations.
• Allocate funds: Break down your budget into categories like venue, catering, attire, entertainment, etc. Prioritize must-haves and be prepared to compromise on less important aspects.
• Create a spreadsheet: Track expenses with a detailed spreadsheet or budgeting app. Include categories, estimated costs, actual costs, service fees, tips, and taxes.
• Emergency fund: Set aside an extra 10-15% of your budget for unexpected costs.

Stakeholders:

Involving stakeholders (those contributing financially) is essential for a smooth planning process. Here's how to manage this:

• Communicate: Have open and honest conversations with stakeholders about their expectations and your vision.
• Prioritize relationships: Wedding planning can be stressful, but remember that your relationships with stakeholders are more important than any disagreement about centerpieces or catering choices. -
• Be considerate: Take stakeholders' opinions and preferences into account. If they are passionate about certain aspects, try to incorporate their ideas while staying true to your vision.
• Delegate: Stakeholders may want to be involved in different ways. Some might prefer to write checks, while others want to be hands-on with planning. Delegate tasks according to their interests and strengths.
• Stay organized: Keep stakeholders informed about your plans and decisions. Provide regular updates and be transparent about budget allocations.
• Show gratitude: Thank your stakeholders for their contributions, whether financial or otherwise. Let them know their support means a lot to you.

By effectively managing your budget and stakeholders, you'll be well on your way to creating a memorable wedding that reflects your vision and values.

The guest list

Decide How Many People to Invite

Firstly, you should decide on a ballpark figure for the number of people you want to invite. This will help you get quotes from caterers and venues. A small wedding is generally around 50-75 people, the average wedding is around 150 people, and a large wedding is 200 people or more.

Consider Your Budget

The easiest way to decide on a number of guests is to consider your budget. The more people you invite, the more expensive the reception and ceremony will be. If your parents are contributing, find out how much they are giving, and factor that into how much you and your partner can afford to spend. Get quotes from local caterers to get an idea of how much the reception may cost per person, remembering to factor in drinks and cake.

Find Out the Size of the Venue

The number of people you can invite may be decided by your venue. If you have a specific venue in mind, ask them how many people they can hold, and do not invite more than this number.

Divide the Guest List

Both you and your partner will want to invite important family and friends, and both sets of parents may have ideas about who should come. A good way to decide is to divide the guest list among you, your partner, and both sets of parents. For example, you could divide the list into thirds, with one-third for your guests, one-third for your partner's, and one-third for mutual friends. Alternatively, you could give one-half of the guest list to you and your partner, and one-fourth to each set of parents.

Decide Whether to Invite Children

Some people prefer not to invite children because they worry they will be loud or disruptive, while others feel that a wedding is a family event. Another option is to only have children attend the reception. Understand that some guests may choose not to come if their children are not invited. You may also want to set an age limit and decide whether to invite teenagers.

Remember the Plus Ones

You will have to decide who is allowed to bring a guest. If you do not have room for all of your friends to bring an extra person, you may want to skip the option to bring a date on the invitation. However, if you have a friend who is in a long-term relationship or is married, then you should invite their partner as well. Factor these guests into the guest list count.

Divide Your Guests Into Groups

Different groups of people in your life may have varying significance to you. Create four different groups of people you are considering and number these groups by priority. For example, immediate family members could be the top priority, followed by extended family members, and then workmates or colleagues.

Establish Rules with Your Family

Your parents and your partner's parents may have their own ideas about who to invite. Let them know what kind of wedding you want, tell them how many people they can invite, and be firm about your boundaries. For example, you could establish rules such as only inviting people you've talked to in the last year, or that friends of the couple have priority over friends of the parents.

Write Two Lists

The first list is for the people you absolutely want to invite. The second is your backup list of people you would like to invite but don't have space or the budget for. If someone from the first list declines, invite someone from the backup list. Assume that around 20% of invited guests will not be able to attend, and make sure you have at least this number on your backup list.

Edit the List

Before sending out invitations, make sure you are not inviting more people than your absolute maximum. When cutting guests, go from the lowest priority guests (colleagues, distant family members, family friends you might not know) up to the highest.

Establish a Date for Backup Guests

Send out your first round of invitations early, and send out a second round to backup guests six to eight weeks before the wedding. This second round of invites should have its own RSVP date.

Consider Inviting People to the Reception Only

If you are getting married in a small venue, you may want to have a separate guest list for the reception. Explain to your friends that you would love to have them at the wedding but that you are limited with space.

Establish Rules for Plus Ones

If you are allowing plus ones, you may want to establish some rules. For example, you could say that a plus one will only be invited if someone is married, living with a partner, engaged, or has been dating their partner for at least six months. Make sure people know if they can bring a date by writing the plus one's name on the outer envelope of the invitation.

Decide Whether to Invite Co-Workers

Deciding who from the office to invite is a common wedding etiquette question. The answer depends on your relationships outside of work and the size of your team. For example, you may want to invite your direct boss and assistant, or people you eat lunch with daily or hang out with after work. If you work with a small team, consider inviting everyone, but if you have a large team, you don't have to invite everyone.

What if Potential Guests Invited You to Their Wedding?

You shouldn't feel obligated to invite someone to your wedding just because they invited you to theirs, especially if you are no longer as close as you once were. However, if you are still friendly, but planning a small wedding, it is okay not to include them on your guest list. Just let them know what you are planning for your wedding.

What if They Already Sent a Gift?

If someone not on the guest list sends you an engagement gift, you should not feel obligated to send them an invitation. If it is a friend of a parent or grandparent, let them know that there isn't room on the guest list, and they can let the gift-giver know that the wedding will be an intimate affair.

Can You Disinvite Someone?

If you have sent out a save-the-date and then had a falling out with someone, you may reconsider having them as a guest. Think about whether this argument is the end of your friendship, and if it isn't, send them an invitation to show that you still want them in your life.

Can You Invite Your Ex?

Some people remain close with their exes and may want to invite them, or even their families, to their wedding. Have a conversation with your

The venue

• Guest count: The venue should be able to accommodate your expected number of guests comfortably.
• Style and theme: Choose a venue that fits the style and theme of your wedding. Consider the ambiance you want to create and whether the venue matches your vision.
• Budget: Be mindful of your budget when selecting a venue. The venue is typically one of the largest expenses, so make sure it fits within your allocated funds.
• Location and travel: Consider the location of the venue and whether it is convenient for your guests to travel to. If the ceremony and reception are at separate locations, factor in the travel time between the two.
• Catering and rentals: Find out if the venue offers in-house catering or if you need to bring in external caterers. Also, inquire about rental options for items such as tables, chairs, linens, etc.
• Timing and availability: Check the availability of your desired date(s) with the venue and ensure it aligns with your timeline.

Once you've selected your venue, it's crucial to create a detailed timeline for your wedding day. This will ensure that everything runs smoothly and that all vendors, guests, and members of the wedding party are on the same page. Here are some key tips for creating a timeline for your venue:

• Start with the ceremony time: Work backward from the ceremony start time to create the rest of the timeline. This will help you allocate appropriate time slots for each activity.
• Consider travel time: If the ceremony and reception are at different locations, make sure to include travel time in your timeline.
• Allow for buffer time: Add some buffer time between activities to account for any potential delays or unexpected hiccups. This will help keep the day running smoothly and reduce stress.
• Communicate with vendors: Consult with your vendors, such as photographers, caterers, and entertainment, to determine their arrival and setup times. This will ensure that everyone is on the same page and can coordinate their services accordingly.
• Finalize the timeline in advance: Create a detailed timeline for your venue about a month before the wedding and share it with your vendors and wedding party. This will give everyone enough time to prepare and make any necessary adjustments.

The theme and style

Deciding on a wedding theme and style is one of the first steps in the wedding planning process and will help you make important decisions about your big day. From the invitations to the cake, the theme will tie every aspect of the celebration together.

Modern

A modern wedding embraces a minimalist mindset to make a maximum impact. It's all about exquisite simplicity, with clean lines, geometric shapes, and neutral hues. City dwellers, urbanites, and design lovers are often drawn to this wedding style.

Glamorous

A glamorous wedding is all about creating a once-in-a-lifetime experience for your guests through top-notch service and attention to detail. Crystal chandeliers, elaborate floral arrangements, silk linens, and gold details in a swanky ballroom or regal château will help bring this theme to life.

Rustic

A rustic wedding is all about connecting your celebration to nature and creating a simple, cozy atmosphere that's reminiscent of home. Natural, pared-back elements like twine, lace, and wood, along with string lights and mason jars, will help reinforce this theme. A rustic theme is often associated with barns and farms, but it can also be achieved in a modern space with a rustic feel.

Romantic

A romantic wedding is all about creating a dreamlike setting. Soft hues, delicate lighting, lush flowers, and flickering taper candles will set the mood for this theme. Imagine lush, airy flowers and sparkling taper candles dressing luxe linens at sunset, while string lights float above and the sunset paints a colorful sky.

Vintage

A vintage wedding focuses on antique décor like weathered doors and worn-in wooden tables. A birdcage veil, elegant calligraphy, and a typewriter guest book will also help to create this old-world feel. You can even arrive or depart in an old Porsche or Volkswagen!

The wedding party

12+ Months Out

• If you're planning to have a wedding party, now is the time to think about who you want standing beside you on your big day.
• Crafting your wedding party lineup may take some time, so start thinking about it early on before you need to shop for wedding party attire later in your wedding planning calendar.
• Once you know who you'd like to ask, start planning wedding party proposals as soon as possible.

10 Months Out

• Shop for wedding party attire.
• You'll need plenty of time to peruse local wedding dress salons and suit shops to find the perfect look, so begin early to allow time for browsing, fittings, alterations and any potential customisations.
• The same thoughtful consideration that wedding dresses receive applies to shopping for wedding suits and tuxedos.
• "Much like shopping for a wedding dress, you'll first want to decide on the style, level of formality, and colour scheme for your big day, then begin shopping for suits," says Jeanne Foley, co-founder of SuitShop.
• "Considering your budget is a great way to start narrowing down your suiting selection."

9 Months Out

• Choose save-the-dates.
• You'll want to have these finalised during this time period, because next month your save-the-dates should go out in the mail.
• If you want specialised stationery, it's important to begin shopping as early as possible.
• "It's often a surprise to new couples that specialised stationery can take a lot of time to produce," explains Heather Wiese Alexander, etiquette expert and founder of stationery brand Bell'INVITO.

8 Months Out

• Finalise your guest list.
• Your wedding party and guest list go hand in hand. You already have a general idea of how many people will be invited, but now's the time to sit down with your partner and bring the guest list to life.
• Have important conversations about who definitely needs to be there, as well as who doesn't.

6 Months Out

• Attend premarital counselling.
• While not necessary, attending premarital counselling can be a great way to prepare your relationship for marriage.
• In these sessions, you and your partner will work with family counsellors, religious leaders or even other married couples to communicate your wants and needs while aligning your goals and expectations for life after the big day.

5 Months Out

• Order formal invitations.
• Your save-the-dates are already in the hands of your guests, so now it's time to order your formal invitations.
• These don't have to go in the mail until two or three months before the wedding day, but it's crucial to buy them now so you have time to make sure they're in perfect condition before sending them out.

4 Months Out

• Purchase thank-you gifts for family and friends.
• It's common for couples to purchase gifts for close family and wedding party members. Not only is this a thoughtful way to thank them for having a role in your wedding, it serves as a token of appreciation for their time and help offered in the months leading up to the wedding.

3 Months Out

• Schedule your hair and makeup trial.
• Reach out to your stylist and makeup artist and schedule a glam trial. This wedding planning checklist item is essential because it'll help you finalise your wedding day look.

2 Months Out

• Enjoy your bachelor or bachelorette party.
• Generally around this point of the wedding timeline, plan to embark on your bachelor or bachelorette party with your crew. Like the shower, this is often planned by a wedding party member. All you have to do is let loose and enjoy quality time with your closest friends.

1 Month Out

• Make final wedding attire alterations.
• At this point, ensure that your wedding day outfit is ready to go by finalising your alterations. You'll need at least one month to work with a seamstress or tailor to make any necessary adjustments.
• Confirm that your wedding party's attire is also ready to go.

Frequently asked questions