Crafting Memorable Wedding Speeches With Philip Calvert

In his book, *How to Make a Great Wedding Speech*, Philip Calvert offers a comprehensive and insightful guide to crafting and delivering a memorable wedding speech. Calvert, a professional speaker and consultant in advanced presentation skills, draws on his expertise to provide valuable advice for anyone facing the daunting task of speaking at a wedding. Whether you are the groom, the best man, the father of the bride, or even the bride yourself, this book promises to help you prepare and deliver your speech with confidence. With specific tips tailored to different character types, Calvert's book ensures that your speech will be sincere, memorable, and infused with your unique personality. From planning and rehearsing to presentation and confidence-building techniques, *How to Make a Great Wedding Speech* is a must-read for anyone looking to ace their wedding speech and leave a lasting impression on the happy couple and their guests.

Planning your speech

When you realise you have to make a speech

First things first, don't wing it. Even if you're a confident public speaker, a wedding speech is a unique challenge that requires preparation. Start by jotting down some ideas and stories, and then build out a structure from there.

Who says what and when

Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom, the best man, and then the maid of honour. However, weddings are increasingly personalised to the couple, so this order is not set in stone. It's a good idea to check with the wedding planner or MC to see when you'll be speaking.

The golden rules: what makes a memorable speech

A great wedding speech is a delicate balance of humour, sincerity, and sentiment. It's a good idea to ask the couple about any boundaries and what they are comfortable with you sharing. It's their day, so make sure your speech is more about them than you.

The biggest sin of all: being boring

Avoid the temptation to ramble. Keep your speech concise and focused on one to three key points about the couple. Three minutes is a good target length. You want to say what you need to say and keep the audience's attention.

Rehearsing your speech

Practise your speech out loud, time yourself, and make edits as necessary. Practise in front of a mirror and record yourself to spot any distracting mannerisms. Practise in front of a trusted friend to get a second opinion.

Presentation

Philip Calvert's book, 'How to Make a Great Wedding Speech', is a comprehensive guide to preparing and delivering a wedding speech with confidence. It covers various aspects of presentation, from planning to execution, to help you create a sincere, memorable and impactful speech.

Planning

Calvert emphasises the importance of planning your speech. This includes understanding the structure and flow of your speech, such as when to deliver your jokes, stories, and heartfelt moments. He suggests grouping stories together that fit a common theme, making your speech feel intentional and cohesive.

Delivery

Calvert provides specific advice on presentation skills, drawing on his expertise as a professional speaker. He recommends practicing your speech to improve your delivery. This includes timing yourself to ensure your speech is concise and well-paced. Practicing also helps you become familiar with your material, allowing you to connect with your audience and make eye contact, rather than reading directly from a piece of paper.

Confidence

Building your confidence is a key aspect of presentation. Calvert's book offers guidance for different character types, helping you play to your strengths. Whether you are shy, nervous, or a first-time public speaker, he provides tips to ensure your speech is delivered with self-assurance and authenticity.

Authenticity

Integrating your personality into your speech is crucial. Calvert encourages you to be yourself and bring your unique perspective to the speech. This could mean infusing humour, sincerity, or sentiment in a way that feels natural to you. By doing so, your speech will stand out and resonate with the couple and the audience.

Engagement

Engaging your audience is an essential aspect of presentation. Calvert suggests opening with a statement or question to capture their attention. He also advises against leading with jokes or nervous remarks, as the goal is to create a two-way connection with your audience.

Visual Aids

While Calvert recommends having notes or cue cards to refer to during your speech, he cautions against reading directly from a piece of paper. This can create a disconnect between you and your audience. Instead, practice beforehand so that you are comfortable with your material and can deliver it more naturally.

Confidence

Calvert also suggests that you should integrate your own personality into your speech. This means playing to your strengths and being yourself. If you are a naturally funny person, add some humour to your speech. If you are more serious, be sincere and heartfelt. By being yourself, you will feel more confident and comfortable when delivering your speech.

Another way to boost your confidence is to focus on your audience and how you want them to feel. This will help you to speak from the heart and will ensure your speech is engaging and well-received. It is also beneficial to remember that the wedding crowd is likely to be the easiest audience you will ever speak to. They want to laugh and cry, and they are already on your side.

Finally, it is important to remember that it is normal to feel nervous. A little nervousness can add energy to your speech and make it more lively. Try to harness this energy and use it to deliver a positive and genuine performance.

Using ready-made material

Philip Calvert's book, *How to Make a Great Wedding Speech*, offers a comprehensive and insightful guide to preparing and delivering a wedding speech with confidence and style. The book is designed to help individuals with different character types and personalities craft sincere, memorable, and authentic speeches.

Calvert's book encourages speakers to integrate their personalities into their speeches. This includes drawing on personal experiences, anecdotes, and stories to make the speech unique and engaging. However, the book also acknowledges that not everyone is comfortable with public speaking or writing, and in such cases, using ready-made material can be a helpful option.

• Draw on Real-Life Examples: Speakers can use real-life examples of wedding speeches that were memorable for the right reasons. These examples can provide inspiration and a framework for crafting your own speech.
• Use Quotes Sparingly: While it's important to avoid plagiarism, incorporating a relevant quote as a setup for an original joke or story can enhance your speech. Just be sure to keep quotes to a minimum and ensure they are genuinely funny or meaningful.
• Incorporate Crowd-Pleasing Elements: Opt for stories and jokes that will appeal to a wide range of audience members. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Test your material on a neutral audience beforehand to ensure it lands well.
• Focus on the Couple: While you can draw on ready-made material, ensure your speech remains focused on the couple. Share stories or quotes that highlight their unique qualities and the strengths of their relationship.
• Keep it Concise: Aim for a speech duration of around 2-5 minutes. This is enough time to share meaningful content without losing the audience's attention.
• Practice and Edit: Even when using ready-made material, practice is crucial. Rehearse your speech, time it, and edit as needed. Ensure you are comfortable with the material and can deliver it confidently and authentically.

By following these guidelines and drawing on ready-made material, you can still create a wedding speech that is engaging, sincere, and memorable.

Avoiding vulgarity

Vulgarity is a pitfall that many wedding speeches fall into. Here are some tips on how to avoid it:

Know Where to Edit

Know what stories are appropriate for a wedding speech and which ones are not. A story about your friend being drunk and doing something mildly embarrassing might be a funny tale to tell among friends, but it may not be suitable for a wedding speech. If you want to tell a story, make sure it showcases the strength of character or the resilience of the person you are talking about. Avoid stories that are just a string of silly details with no real arc, twist, or satisfying ending.

Avoid Crude Jokes

While it is fine to include a few 'grown-up' jokes, know your audience. Do not include anything in your speech that you would not say in front of your best friend's grandmother. Keep the jokes classy and PG-13.

Steer Clear of Vulgar Language

While it is not necessary to avoid swearing altogether, do not make your speech NC-17. Again, know your audience and keep the language appropriate and respectful.

Do Not Make it All About Yourself

While you may be talking about your decades-long friendship with the bride or groom, do not turn the speech into your life story. The subject of your speech should be the protagonist, not you. This is not a high school talent show; it is a wedding.

Avoid Plagiarism

Do not plagiarize or quote a speech from a movie. Keep quotes to a minimum. This is not a book report, so do not cite too many sources. Creative license is fine, but too many references or quotes can weigh down your speech.

Be Mindful of Cultural Sensitivities

Be aware of any cultural sensitivities that may be present in the audience. Avoid making jokes or references that could be considered offensive or inappropriate.

By following these guidelines, you can help ensure that your wedding speech is tasteful, respectful, and appropriate for the occasion.

Frequently asked questions