Involving Your Mother-In-Law: Wedding Planning Tips And Tricks

Involving your mother-in-law in wedding planning can be a tricky task, as family dynamics come into play. The groom's family traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner, which is a natural place for the mother-in-law to get involved. However, some mothers-in-law may want to be more involved in the planning process, from the flowers at the ceremony to the food at the reception. It's important to set clear boundaries and decide how much you want your mother-in-law involved, and then communicate this to her.

Cake tasting

Cristen Faherty of Cristen & Co Event Coordination & Design in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, says: "Food is one of the biggest parts of a wedding day and both parents definitely will have opinions on what they would like to see on a menu. It’s also important to have multiple palates to ensure that the menu reflects not only the tastes of the bride and groom, but also your guests overall."

If you're comfortable with the idea, you could even make a day of it and visit multiple bakeries or cake shops. This way, you can sample a variety of cakes and find the perfect one for your big day. It's also a great opportunity to involve other family members or friends, making it a fun group activity.

Remember, it's important to set clear boundaries and communicate your expectations from the start. If you prefer to keep the cake tasting intimate, that's completely understandable. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and your partner.

Shopping for wedding attire

Wedding attire shopping is a great way to involve your mother-in-law in the wedding planning process. It's a fun and exciting experience that can help her feel included and valued. Here are some tips to make the most of this special time together:

Set clear boundaries and expectations: Before you invite your mother-in-law to join you on your wedding attire shopping trip, it's important to set clear boundaries and expectations. Communicate your vision and style preferences beforehand to ensure everyone is on the same page. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or conflicts during the shopping trip.

Involve her in the planning process: Ask your mother-in-law for her input and ideas. She may have valuable insights and suggestions based on her own experiences. Consider creating a shared Pinterest board where you can pin inspiration and ideas for wedding attire. This will give her a sense of involvement and help guide your shopping trip.

Make it a special occasion: Treat the shopping trip as a special occasion and create lasting memories together. Plan a fun day out, perhaps including lunch or afternoon tea, to make the experience enjoyable and relaxing. This will not only help you find the perfect wedding attire but also strengthen your bond and create a positive and memorable experience.

Offer to help with her outfit: If your mother-in-law is eager to find the perfect mother-of-the-groom dress, offer to help her. This can be a thoughtful way to show your appreciation and ensure she feels included. It's a great opportunity to bond and create a cohesive look for the wedding party.

Involve both sets of parents: Consider extending the invitation to both sets of parents. This can be a wonderful way to bring everyone together and create a supportive and inclusive atmosphere. It also provides an opportunity for the parents to bond and get to know each other better, which can be especially meaningful if they haven't spent much time together.

Remember, the key to involving your mother-in-law in wedding attire shopping is to find the right balance between your vision and her involvement. Clear communication, setting boundaries, and creating a positive and inclusive atmosphere will ensure a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Creating a Pinterest board

To get started, create a new board on Pinterest and name it something like "Mother-in-Law Wedding Inspiration". You might want to make this board secret, so only you and your mother-in-law can access it. Then, invite your mother-in-law to collaborate on the board and start pinning!

Encourage her to pin ideas for wedding attire, decorations, flowers, and anything else that inspires her. She can also use this board to collect ideas for the rehearsal dinner, which is traditionally where the mother-in-law takes the lead. This could include menu ideas, table settings, and any other details she wants to include.

As the bride, you can also use this board to communicate your own vision and ideas. Pin things that you love and want to incorporate into your wedding, and use the comments section to discuss and get your mother-in-law's input. This will help you both understand each other's tastes and find common ground.

Remember, the key to involving your mother-in-law is finding the right balance between what you and your partner want, and what she has envisioned. Be open to her ideas, but also set clear boundaries from the start to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Rehearsal dinner

The traditional place to involve a mother-in-law in wedding planning is the rehearsal dinner. Often, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, so it's a natural place for your mother-in-law to exert her hosting skills. You could also involve her in the planning of the food, as this is a big part of the wedding day and both parents will likely have opinions on the menu. Cake tasting is a fun planning task to involve your mother-in-law in, as well as both sets of parents.

If you're happy for your mother-in-law to be more involved, you could ask her to go shopping with her child for their wedding attire. You could also invite her to go with her future child-in-law, but be aware that this could be a tricky dynamic. If you think she's eager to nail the mother-of-the-groom dress etiquette, offer to help her find her dress, too.

It's important to find the right balance between what you want and what your mother-in-law has envisioned. Set firm, clear boundaries from the start and decide how much you want her involved, then communicate this clearly.

Setting boundaries

It's also important to be clear about the areas where you would like her input and the decisions that you and your partner would like to make independently. For example, you might decide that you would like her to be involved in choosing the menu, as this is a fun task that will allow her to contribute her ideas and feel included. Or, you might ask her to help you and your future spouse shop for your wedding attire.

If your mother-in-law has strong opinions, it might be helpful to give her a separate Pinterest board where she can share her ideas. This way, you can consider her suggestions without feeling pressured to incorporate every idea into your wedding.

Remember, it's okay to say no or set boundaries if you feel that your mother-in-law is becoming too involved. It's your wedding, and you should feel comfortable making decisions that reflect your vision for the day.

Frequently asked questions