Etiquette Guide: Inviting People Without Plus Ones To Your Wedding

Deciding whether or not to invite people without a plus one to your wedding can be a tricky task. While there are no set rules, there are some best practices and guidelines to help you navigate this situation. Firstly, it's important to consider your budget and space constraints. If you have a limited budget or your venue has restricted capacity, it might be necessary to cut back on the number of plus ones you offer. On the other hand, if budget and space aren't an issue, you might consider offering every guest a plus one to ensure they feel comfortable and have a good time.

Another factor to consider is the nature of your guest list. If you have guests who are married, engaged, or in long-term relationships, it is generally considered good etiquette to invite their significant other as well. This also applies to members of the wedding party and outlier guests who won't know many other attendees. However, for guests who are single and have a circle of friends or family at the wedding, a plus one may not be necessary.

To make your intentions clear, be sure to address your invitations specifically to those who are invited and consider including a line on your RSVP cards indicating the number of seats reserved. If you're unsure about whether to offer plus ones, creating an A list and a B list can be a helpful strategy. Start by inviting those on your A list with their plus ones, and then extend invitations to the B list if you have the capacity after receiving responses.

Address invitations to only those invited, with no 'plus one'

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to be clear about who is and isn't invited. If you are inviting a single person who you do not want to bring a plus one, the invitation should be addressed only to that person. Here are some ways to do this:

• On the outer envelope, write the guest's full name and title, e.g. "Ms. Ali Johnson". On the inner envelope, use only their title and last name, e.g. "Ms. Johnson".
• If you are using only one envelope, address it to the individual guest without adding "and guest".
• If you are inviting a married couple, put their names on the same line on the outer envelope, e.g. "Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Rivera". On the inner envelope, use their shared last name, e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. Rivera".
• For unmarried couples living together, include both names on separate lines on the outer envelope, e.g. "Mr. Aaron Triguiero, Mr. Gabriel Reyes". On the inner envelope, use their surnames only, e.g. "Mr. Triguiero, Mr. Reyes".
• If you don't know the guest's preferred title, it's safer to leave it out.

Remember, the outer envelope should be formal, while the inner envelope is more informal. The key is to make it clear that the invitation is for one person only, without any plus ones. This way, your guests will understand that they are not expected to bring a date.

Explain budget/space constraints

When it comes to explaining budget and space constraints to your wedding guests, it's important to be honest, tactful, and considerate. Here are some tips to help you navigate this delicate situation:

• Understand the Basics: Recognize that each additional guest incurs a cost, and that venues have limited capacity. Be mindful of your budget and the venue's space constraints when deciding on the guest list and whether to offer plus-ones.
• Prioritize Close Friends and Family: Explain that due to budget and space limitations, you've prioritized inviting close friends and family members, and unfortunately, there isn't room for everyone to bring a plus-one. Be transparent about these constraints to help your guests understand your decisions.
• Set Clear Criteria: Establish clear and consistent criteria for offering plus-ones. For example, you might decide that only married, engaged, or long-term couples will receive plus-one invitations. Communicate these criteria to your guests to ensure fairness and transparency.
• Be Mindful of Single Guests: Consider the experience of single guests who may feel uncomfortable attending alone. If possible, offer plus-ones to those who won't know many other attendees or provide an option for them to bring a friend or family member.
• Communicate Early: Address the topic of plus-ones early on to manage expectations. When sending out invitations, be clear about who is invited. If a guest's name is the only one on the envelope, it indicates that they don't have a plus-one.
• Provide a Thoughtful Explanation: If a guest inquires about bringing a plus-one, be prepared to offer a kind and respectful explanation. You can mention budget and space limitations and emphasize that you had to make difficult choices to stay within those constraints.
• Offer Alternative Options: If possible, consider alternative options for guests who wish to bring a plus-one. For example, you could suggest that they bring their plus-one to the reception only or offer to put them on a "'B-list' if there are declines from other guests.
• Be Consistent: Apply your criteria for plus-ones consistently across your guest list. This helps ensure fairness and avoids the appearance of favoritism.
• Be Diplomatic: Remember that your guests may have different expectations and feelings about plus-ones. Be diplomatic and empathetic in your communications, especially if they express disappointment.
• Consider a "B-List": If you have guests who you would like to invite but are unable to due to budget or space constraints, consider creating a "B-list". This list can include guests who will be invited if you receive enough declines from your "A-list" guests, allowing you to offer plus-ones to those who initially couldn't bring one.

Remember, it's your wedding, and it's understandable to have limitations. Be considerate and communicate these constraints early on to help manage your guests' expectations and ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Be prepared to respond to requests for plus ones

Even if you make it clear that some guests are not offered a plus one, you should be prepared for people to ask if they can bring one. It's a good idea to have a kind, but firm, explanation ready for anyone who may reach out. Something along the lines of: "We'd love to include everyone, but unfortunately, our budget only allowed us to invite close friends and family. We appreciate your understanding and really hope to see you there!"

If a guest does reach out about bringing a plus one, it's worth enquiring further about this requested addition. Their relationship may have become more serious since you sent out the invites, for example. If you can, do what you can to include their partner.

If you don't have the room, it's okay to reply with something like: "We would love for you to bring a guest, but this is a very intimate affair." It's best to do this over the phone or in person, rather than by email.

If you are happy for guests to bring a plus one once you've had some RSVPs back, you can always tell guests who ask that numbers are tight but you would love for their guest to attend, and you will reach out if anything changes.

Consider seating arrangements

Seating arrangements can be a tricky aspect of wedding planning, especially when it comes to accommodating guests without a plus-one. Here are some tips to consider when planning your seating arrangements:

Know Your Venue

Before you can start planning your seating arrangements, it's crucial to have a clear understanding of your venue's layout. Obtain a floor plan from your venue and make several copies so you can experiment with different table arrangements. Consider the space dimensions, the location of important features such as electric outlets and bathrooms, and the placement of the DJ or band, food, and other key elements. This will help you determine the number and arrangement of tables, ensuring a smooth flow for your reception.

Prioritize the Wedding Couple

The wedding couple should have priority when it comes to seating. They may opt for a sweetheart table if they prefer a more intimate setting and want to avoid potential family drama. Alternatively, they can choose to sit with close friends and family. Regardless of their decision, ensure they are seated near the centre so that guests can easily see and interact with them.

Accommodate VIPs

VIPs, such as the bridal party, parents or guardians of the couple, and other close relatives, should be given special consideration. Seat them in close proximity to the wedding couple and provide them with comfortable access to the dance floor and other key areas. If there are children attending, consider setting up a kids' table close to their parents' tables.

Group Guests Strategically

When it comes to seating the rest of your guests, aim to group them based on their relationships and common interests. Seat college friends together so they can catch up, and place guests who won't know many people with strong conversationalists to make them feel comfortable. Avoid seating couples separately with an obstructive centerpiece, and refrain from creating a "singles" table, as this may embarrass or make guests feel uncomfortable. Instead, sprinkle singles in with married or coupled friends to give them a sense of familiarity. If you have guests who don't know anyone, seat them near guests with similar interests or in the same age group.

Accessibility and Comfort

Ensure that your seating arrangement accommodates guests with accessibility needs. Leave extra space for wheelchairs and make sure that guests with movement concerns have clear and easy access to the dance floor and exit. Additionally, consider the needs of guests with sensory issues and try to seat older guests away from loud music.

Use a Seating Chart or Place Cards

To guide your guests to their designated seats, you can use either a seating chart or place cards. A seating chart is usually displayed near the entrance of the reception and lists guests' names along with their designated tables. Place cards, on the other hand, are placed at each table and designate specific spots for guests. Escort cards, displayed alphabetically near the entrance, can also be used to guide guests to their respective tables.

Remember, it's impossible to please everyone with your seating arrangements. As long as you put thought and effort into considering your guests' comfort and enjoyment, that's what truly matters.

Use proper plus-one invitation etiquette

When it comes to plus-one invitation etiquette, it's easy to become confused. Here are some tips to help you navigate this tricky area.

Who Gets a Plus-One?

It is generally considered good etiquette to invite the spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of your guests to your wedding. This is the case even if you have never met them or don't particularly like them. The general guideline is that if a guest is married, engaged, living with, or seeing someone exclusively for more than a few months, their partner should be invited.

It is also appropriate to extend a plus-one to any significant others that you have met and spent time with. If you set clear rules about this, it will be easier to field questions when they come.

Additionally, if you are asking your guests to travel for your wedding, it is both appropriate and encouraged to offer a plus-one, as travelling is more enjoyable with company.

Of course, these decisions will depend on your budget and space constraints. If you are working with a tight budget, you may need to set limits on plus-ones. Similarly, if space is tight, you may need to cut back on the number of plus-ones you offer.

How to Word Wedding Invitations with No Plus-One

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, it is best practice to include the name of the guest's plus-one on the invitation if you know it. You can either include the plus-one on the same invitation as the guest or send a separate invitation directly to the plus-one.

If you don't know the name of the plus-one, you can simply add "and Guest" to the envelope.

When you are not inviting a plus-one, wedding invitation wording is simple: only include the name of the guest on the envelope.

What to Do When a Guest Asks About a Plus-One

If you have set clear rules about who gets a plus-one, stick to them. If a guest writes in a plus-one on their RSVP card, address it tactfully. Call them and graciously explain that their plus-one is not invited, citing reasons such as budget or space constraints.

However, there may be some special circumstances to consider. For example, if a guest gets engaged after your invitations go out, it is best to let them know that their partner is also invited. Or, if a friend has recently become more serious with their partner and you have spent time with the couple, use your best judgment.

Proactive Plus-One Planning Tips

• Get the name of every guest, including their plus-one if they have one, on your RSVPs.
• Be prepared to respond to requests from guests who don't receive a plus-one. Have a kind but firm explanation ready, such as "We'd love to include everyone, but unfortunately, our budget only allowed us to invite close friends and family. We appreciate your understanding and hope to see you there!"
• Consider seating arrangements in advance. Create a mock seating chart to see how easy it will be to accommodate guests with plus-ones. Take personalities and relationships into account to avoid unwanted drama.
• Use proper plus-one invitation etiquette. When designing your invitations and RSVP cards, swap out the term "plus-one" for "invited guest" to add formality.

Frequently asked questions