Including a ring bearer and flower girl in your wedding ceremony is a fun tradition that adds an extra touch of sweetness and charm to the proceedings. These pint-sized attendants typically prep the aisle with flower petals for the bride's grand entrance and carry the wedding rings down the aisle. But how do you choose the right children for these roles, and what are some creative ways to make their participation even more special?
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Age | Usually between 3 and 8 years old, but can be younger or older, or even an adult |
Number | More than one flower girl or ring bearer can be included |
Outfits | Flower girls: white or ivory flower girl dresses, colourful dresses, or antique/vintage outfits. Ring bearers: small suits, tuxedos, or more casual attire with suspenders and a bow tie |
Duties | Flower girls: scatter petals, confetti, bubbles, or feathers along the aisle. Ring bearers: carry the wedding rings on a pillow or cushion, or pull them in a miniature wagon |
Gifts | Personalised jewellery, stuffed animals, books, toys, clothing, etc. |
What You'll Learn
Choosing the right age for your ring bearer and flower girl
Including a ring bearer and flower girl in your wedding ceremony is a fun tradition that adds an extra touch of sweetness and charm to the proceedings. Typically, these roles are given to children, who symbolise the innocence and purity of the couple's union. The flower girl's main task is to scatter petals along the aisle, leading the bride's entrance, while the ring bearer carries the wedding rings on a pillow or cushion.
When choosing the right age for these roles, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, think about the capabilities of the child and whether they will be able to carry out the duties assigned to them. Younger children, for example, may be prone to tantrums, crying, or stage fright, so you may want to opt for kids between the ages of five and ten who can walk down the aisle with minimal issues and can be relied on to carry out more complicated tasks.
However, don't let this stop you from giving these roles to someone younger or older, or even to adults, if you would prefer not to include children in your wedding. If you do choose to include younger children, just be prepared to be flexible and have a backup plan in case they need coaxing or comforting during the ceremony. You can also give them alternative tasks, such as wearing a flower crown instead of throwing petals, or pulling the rings down the aisle in a miniature wagon.
Another important consideration is how close you are to the child or their parents. Giving these roles to nieces and nephews can be a diplomatic way to include family members in your wedding. If you have multiple nieces or nephews that you want to include, you can assign more than one child to each role.
Involving children in your wedding can add a touch of whimsy and cuteness to the proceedings, but it's important to be mindful of their capabilities and comfort levels. By choosing the right age and providing appropriate tasks and support, you can ensure that your ring bearer and flower girl have a positive and memorable experience on your big day.
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Asking them to be part of your wedding
Asking children to be part of your wedding party is an exciting task, but it's important to consider the etiquette involved when asking them to take on this role. Here are some tips to help you ask your flower girl and ring bearer to be a part of your big day:
Get Permission from Parents
First and foremost, it is crucial to ask the child's parents for permission and ensure they are comfortable with the idea. Discuss the expectations and responsibilities, including attire, to give them a clear understanding of what's involved. This is especially important if the child has special needs or if their parents prefer a child-free wedding experience.
Explain Who Else Is Involved
If you plan to have multiple flower girls or ring bearers, be transparent about it. Children can get jealous, so it's best to let them know upfront. You can still make each child feel special by including a cute "ask," such as a ring pop, a puzzle, or another item they would enjoy.
Timing Is Important
While you should ask the parents as early as possible, it's recommended to wait until a few months before the wedding to ask the children. For younger children, waiting until closer to the wedding increases the chances of them understanding the role.
Use Creative Ways to Pop the Question
You can create a special "proposal" moment for the children by using creative ideas. Here are some suggestions:
- Propose with a Ring Pop: Present the child with a Ring Pop candy and a card saying, "I can't say 'I do' without you! Will you be my flower girl/ring bearer?"
- Surprise Dessert: Offer a personalised cupcake with your proposal written in icing.
- Flower Crown: Design a flower crown for the flower girl, incorporating the wedding theme, and make it a fun bonding experience.
- Confetti Balloons: Fill balloons with colourful confetti and hide the question in one of them, creating a game for the child to find the surprise.
- Present a Book: Gift the child with a book about flower girls or ring bearers, such as "The Little Flower Girl" or "Fiona the Flower Girl," to help them understand their role.
- Gift a Keepsake: Consider a monogrammed item, like jewellery or a travel bag, which they can use for the wedding and cherish as a memento.
- Dedicate Special Time: Invite the flower girl or ring bearer to get ready with the bridal party or groomsmen, offering to include them in hair and makeup preparations. If they are too young, dedicate a special moment during the day, even if it's just a few minutes.
These ideas will help you create memorable moments when asking your flower girl and ring bearer to be a part of your wedding day, ensuring they feel included and excited about their roles.
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Deciding what the ring bearer and flower girl should wear
Outfit Choices:
- Traditionally, flower girls wear dresses that mimic the style of the bride's gown, such as similar lace detailing, flowy skirts, or delicate beading. Alternatively, opt for a dress in a colour that matches the bridesmaids' dresses or choose a textured fabric.
- Ring bearers traditionally wear a kid-sized tuxedo or suit, coordinating with the groom or groomsmen's attire. For a more casual look, dress them up in suspenders, a classic bow tie, a hat, or a patterned jacket.
- If you want to break tradition, feel free to choose outfits that match your wedding theme, especially if it's less formal.
- For infants or toddlers, consider a tuxedo onesie or a tutu, along with an ornate headband or a bow tie.
- For older flower girls, consider light makeup and comfortable shoes like white ballet flats. If the ring bearer is uncomfortable in a suit, modify it with a bow tie matching the groomsmen's attire.
- For a traditional look, the ring bearer can wear a conductor hat in the wedding colours with suspenders.
- If you have multiple flower girls and ring bearers, try to coordinate their outfits in colours and themes that match your wedding.
- For preteen flower girls and ring bearers, consider dressing them in similar outfits to the bridesmaids or ushers.
Practical Considerations:
- Discuss the outfits with the children's parents and consider their comfort.
- Keep in mind that the child's parents typically pay for the outfit, so provide options at various price points.
- If you want to be generous, you can offer to pay for the outfits yourself and set your preferred budget.
- If the children are very young, be prepared for flexibility, as they are more prone to tantrums, crying, or stage fright.
- Include the children in the wedding rehearsal to help them get familiar with their roles and surroundings.
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Selecting what the ring bearer should carry
Traditional Ring Pillow
The most traditional option is to have the ring bearer carry the wedding rings on a small pillow or cushion. This classic choice is often adorned with ribbons, flowers, or other embellishments that complement the wedding theme. It is a simple yet meaningful way to include the ring bearer in your special day.
Ring Boxes or Trays
For a modern twist, you can opt for velvet ring boxes or a golden tray to hold the rings. This adds a touch of elegance and sophistication to the ring bearer's role. It is also a secure way to ensure the rings remain safe during the ceremony.
Ring-Bearer Signs
Instead of carrying the rings, the ring bearer can hold a cute sign that announces the bride's entrance. Signs such as "Here Comes the Bride" or "Wait Until You See Her" build anticipation and excitement. You can also choose whimsical signs like "Happily Ever After Starts Here" or "All Because Two People Fell in Love" to celebrate your love story.
Ring Security
For a playful touch, you can treat the ring bearer's role as a secret mission by giving him a badge and a sign that says "Ring Security." This idea adds a sense of importance and fun to the ring bearer's experience, making them feel like an integral part of your wedding day.
Miniature Wagon
If you want to stray from the traditional pillow, consider having the ring bearer pull the rings in a miniature wagon. This idea is especially charming for younger ring bearers and can be decorated with ribbons, flowers, and signs. It adds a touch of cuteness to their journey down the aisle.
Pet Companions
For an adorable twist, enlist your beloved pet to accompany the ring bearer down the aisle. This idea is not only unique but also creates memorable moments. Just ensure that your pet is comfortable and well-behaved in a wedding setting.
Other Creative Ideas
There are also other creative options to consider, such as having the ring bearer carry the rings in a special box, basket, or pouch attached to their wagon or stroller. You can even incorporate your favourite shared hobbies or activities into how they carry the rings. For a more natural look, consider a moss-covered basket, especially if you're having an outdoor wedding.
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Planning fun extras for the ring bearer and flower girl
The ring bearer and flower girl play essential roles in the wedding, symbolizing innocence, purity, and the future of the couple's union. While the ring bearer traditionally carries the wedding rings on a pillow or cushion, the flower girl scatters petals along the aisle, leading the bride's entrance. Here are some fun extras to make their experience even more memorable:
Creative Proposals:
Make the moment of asking them to be a part of your wedding day extra special. Create personalized invitations with their favourite colours, characters or themes. Include a heartfelt message expressing why you want them in your wedding. You could also organize a treasure hunt leading to a hidden box with the invitation and a small gift or incorporate the proposal into a family event with balloons and cake.
Rehearsals and Support:
Involve the children's parents in the planning process, especially for outfit choices and comfort. Have a few special rehearsals to familiarize the ring bearer and flower girl with their roles and the venue. Assign a responsible adult to supervise and support them throughout the ceremony.
Creative Twists:
Add creative elements to their journey down the aisle. Instead of a traditional pillow, the ring bearer could pull the rings in a miniature wagon or be accompanied by a beloved pet. The flower girl could scatter confetti, bubbles, or feathers instead of petals.
Signs and Decorations:
Provide the ring bearer with a cute sign to wear, such as "Here Comes the Bride," "Ring Security," or "Wait Until You See Her." Adorn the flower girl's basket with ribbons, flowers, or fairy lights.
Outfits and Accessories:
Let the boys wear shorts with bowties and suspenders for a casual yet wedding-ready look. Complete the flower girl's outfit with a veil or a floral crown. For a whimsical touch, add fairy wings and a wand.
Gifts and Keepsakes:
Show your appreciation with thoughtful gifts, such as personalized jewellery, stuffed animals, or custom puzzle invitations. Include the children in pre-wedding festivities and provide age-appropriate entertainment at the reception, like colouring books, puzzles, or a designated play area.
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Frequently asked questions
Flower girls and ring bearers are usually between the ages of three and eight, but you can choose someone younger or older, or even an adult. If you're opting for a younger child, be prepared for tantrums, crying, and stage fright.
Flower girls usually scatter petals along the aisle before the bride's entrance, but they can also carry small nosegays of flowers, wear flower crowns, or simply walk down the aisle holding the hands of the other flower girls or ring bearers.
Ring bearers usually carry the wedding rings on a small pillow, but they can also hold signs, such as "Here Comes the Bride", or hold hands with the other ring bearer or flower girl.
Flower girls typically wear dresses in the white or ivory color family, while ring bearers usually wear small suits or tuxedos. However, there are no hard and fast rules, and you can modernize or casualize their attire to fit your wedding theme.