Rsvp Etiquette: Filling Out Wedding Invitation Response Cards

Filling out an RSVP card for a wedding is a straightforward process, but it's important to do it correctly to help the happy couple plan their big day. Here's a step-by-step guide to filling out a wedding invitation RSVP card.

Write your name(s)

When filling out an RSVP card, it's important to include your name and the names of any guests you are bringing. This guarantees that the hosts know who is attending and how to correctly spell everyone's names on the seating chart, place cards, escort cards, or personalised favours.

On a formal RSVP card, the line for names will often begin with an "M", indicating that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name. If the envelope is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the response line should state, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”. If the envelope includes middle names, for instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew", then the response should include these additional names: “Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew"".

If you are bringing a plus-one, it is advised to include their full name. This is the case even if they are a long-term partner; don't assume the hosts know their name.

If there is no "M" on the RSVP card, the names of all guests should still be written out in full, including any relevant honorifics.

For a more informal RSVP card, you may see "Name(s)" before the blank space for names. Here, you can simply write your name and the name of any guest you are bringing, without including any honorifics.

If you are replying on behalf of yourself and a group of people, such as your family, write your name first, followed by the names of the other family members who will be attending.

Specify the number of guests

When filling out an RSVP card, it is important to specify the number of guests who will be attending. This helps the couple plan their seating arrangements and ensure they have enough food for everyone.

Firstly, check who has been invited to the wedding. The inner envelope of the invitation will list the names of all the invited guests. If there is no inner envelope, use the outer envelope as your guide. Do not assume that you have a plus-one if it is not clearly stated.

If you have been given a plus-one, now is the time to decide whether you will be bringing a guest. Indicate the number of people in your party—presumably one or two—and write in the full name of your guest. This information is essential for the couple to create accurate seating charts and place cards.

If you are unsure whether you can bring a plus-one, check the invitation envelope to see if "and guest" is included. It is considered inappropriate to ask to bring a guest if the wedding invitation does not explicitly state that you can. Remember, each additional guest may incur significant costs for the couple.

When specifying the number of guests, avoid using checkmarks or "X"s to signify acceptance or rejection of the invitation. Instead, list the number of guests who will or will not attend.

Some RSVP cards will include a line that says, "_____ seats have been reserved in your honour." In this case, simply fill in the number of seats allocated to you.

Indicate dietary restrictions

When filling out an RSVP card, it's important to indicate any dietary restrictions or allergies you may have. This allows the couple to accommodate your needs and ensures you have a safe and enjoyable dining experience at the wedding. Here are some tips and suggestions for indicating dietary restrictions on an RSVP card:

• Be Clear and Specific: Clearly state your dietary restrictions or allergies. For example, you can write, "I have a gluten allergy" or "I am a vegan." This helps the couple and caterers understand your exact needs.
• Provide Details: If you have multiple dietary restrictions or allergies, consider providing additional details. For example, you might write, "Dairy-free (milk, butter, cheese, etc.)". This helps to ensure there are no misunderstandings.
• Mention Severity: If you have a severe allergy that may result in a medical issue, consider calling the couple or host directly after submitting your RSVP. Offer to contact the planner or caterer yourself to discuss options and ensure your safety.
• Number of Guests: If your dietary restrictions apply to your guests or plus-ones, be sure to indicate the number of people who share those restrictions. This helps the couple plan accordingly and ensure sufficient accommodations.
• RSVP Card Format: When indicating dietary restrictions, follow the format provided on the RSVP card. Some cards may have checkboxes or blank lines where you can write in your restrictions. Others may have a separate line specifically for dietary restrictions or allergies.
• Communicate Directly: If there is insufficient space on the RSVP card or you have more complex needs, consider reaching out to the couple directly. You can contact them via email, phone, or their wedding website to provide additional details about your dietary restrictions.
• Respond Promptly: It is important to send back your RSVP card as soon as possible. This allows the couple to plan accordingly and make any necessary arrangements to accommodate your dietary restrictions.

Remember, when indicating dietary restrictions on an RSVP card, be clear, specific, and detailed. This helps the couple and caterers understand your needs and ensure an enjoyable dining experience for everyone.

Add a personal note

Adding a personal note to your RSVP card is a great way to make your response stand out and show the couple how much you appreciate their invitation. Here are some tips and ideas for crafting a thoughtful and meaningful note:

• Start with a warm greeting: Begin your note by addressing the couple directly, such as "Dear [Couple's Names]". This sets the tone for your message and shows that you are speaking directly to them.
• Express your excitement and gratitude: Let the couple know how thrilled you are to be a part of their special day. You can write something like, "We are so excited to celebrate this happy occasion with you!" or "It means so much to us to be included in your wedding celebrations."
• Share a fond memory or a funny anecdote: Recall a special moment or a fun experience you've shared with the couple. For example, you could write, "We still laugh about that time we went camping and got caught in the rain. It's memories like these that we cherish and look forward to making many more."
• Offer your well-wishes and congratulations: Take this opportunity to wish the couple a lifetime of happiness and joy. You might say, "We are so happy for you both and wish you all the love and blessings in the world." or "Congratulations on this wonderful step you're taking together. May your love continue to grow and flourish."
• Make it personal: Include a sentence or two that is unique to your relationship with the couple. If you have a shared interest or inside joke, subtly weave it into your note. For instance, "We can't wait to hit the dance floor and show off our signature moves!" or "Looking forward to toasting with your favourite vintage wine!"
• Close with a warm sentiment: Finish your note with a heartfelt sign-off, such as "With love and excitement," or "Sending our warmest wishes."

Here's an example of how your personal note might look:

"Dear [Couple's Names],

We are overjoyed to celebrate your wedding with you! It has been a joy to witness your love story unfold, and we cherish the memories we've made together. We wish you both a lifetime of happiness, love, and wonderful adventures. With eager anticipation, we look forward to raising a glass (or two!) to the happy couple!

With love and warmest congratulations,

[Your Names]"

Remember, the personal note is an opportunity to add a thoughtful touch to your RSVP. Keep it sincere, heartfelt, and aligned with the tone of the wedding invitation.

Respond by the deadline

Responding promptly to a wedding invitation is crucial, as it helps the couple finalise the details of their big day, from the seating plan to the food options. So, when you receive your next wedding invitation, here's what you need to do to ensure you respond by the deadline:

• Check your calendar: As soon as you receive a wedding invitation, open it up and check the wedding date. Look at your calendar and see if you have any prior engagements or conflicts that might prevent you from attending. It's important to do this as soon as possible so that you don't forget about other commitments.
• Finalise your plans: If you have been invited with a plus one, now is the time to decide if you are bringing someone. It's important to finalise this detail early on, as the couple will need to know the exact number of guests attending for their planning purposes.
• Respond as soon as possible: Don't delay in sending back your response. The couple is relying on your timely response to make their planning easier. Sending back your RSVP card at the last minute or forgetting to respond altogether can cause unnecessary stress for the couple. So, be considerate and respond as soon as you can.
• Use the provided response card: Most wedding invitations will include a response card with a pre-addressed and stamped envelope. Use this card to send back your response. Filling out the provided card ensures that your reply reaches the couple without any delays. It's also a courteous gesture, as the couple has likely spent time and money on designing and sending out these cards.
• Follow the instructions: When filling out the response card, carefully read and follow any instructions provided. Indicate whether you are attending or declining the invitation, write your full name and the number of guests attending, and initial your food choices if requested. Some cards might also include fun questions or prompts from the couple, so be sure to respond to those as well.
• Write legibly: Take the time to write clearly and legibly on the response card. Remember that the couple might be going through dozens of responses, so they need to be able to read and understand your reply easily. If your handwriting is difficult to read, consider printing your responses instead of using cursive.
• Don't forget to include your name: This might seem obvious, but it's easy to overlook this detail. Always include your full name on the response card, along with the name of your plus one if applicable. This helps the couple create a master guest list and craft personalised name cards for each attendee.
• Don't wait until the last minute: Don't put off responding until the deadline date. Try to respond at least a week or two before the deadline to give the couple ample time to plan and finalise the details. They will greatly appreciate your timely response!

By following these simple steps, you can ensure that you respond to wedding invitations promptly and help the happy couple plan their dream wedding without any added stress or last-minute surprises.

Frequently asked questions