Junior Rasmussen
German weddings differ from British and American weddings in several ways. For example, German weddings tend to be more low-key and intimate, and can take all day. In Germany, a couple is legally required to be married first at a Standesamt (registry office) or local German registration office. This civil ceremony usually takes place a few days before the actual church ceremony. For the civil ceremony, brides often wear a 2-piece outfit or an informal dress, sometimes in white, especially if they don't have a church wedding to follow. Grooms usually wear a formal suit or tuxedo in a neutral or dark hue. For the church ceremony, brides usually wear white gowns without trains, or with very short trains. Grooms typically wear black suits. Guests should dress smart casual, with a smart dress and a dark blazer or jacket, but no hats or statement shoes.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Bride's attire | White gown, possibly with a short train, a flowery headband, ribbons, a veil, a tiara, a little crown, or a hat. Most brides also carry a little drawstring purse and wear gloves. |
| Groom's attire | Formal suit or tuxedo in a neutral or dark hue, usually black. |
| Wedding duration | All-day affair, starting in the morning and lasting until the early morning hours of the next day. |
| Wedding location | Germany requires couples to be legally married at a Standesamt (local registration/registry office) by a Standesbeamter (registrar) or Bürgermeister (mayor) before holding a second wedding wherever and however they like. |
| Wedding party | Bridesmaids, groomsmen, and flower girls are uncommon at German weddings. |
| Traditions | Log-sawing, carrying candles trimmed with flowers and ribbons, and breaking china and porcelain dishes the night before the wedding. |
| Dress code | Generally smart casual, with guests wearing smart dresses and dark blazers/jackets. No towering stilettos, fascinators, or hats. |
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What You'll Learn
Bride's attire: White, no train, or a 2-piece outfit
In Germany, it is legally required for couples to be married at a Standesamt (the local registration office) first. This civil ceremony usually takes place a few days before the actual church ceremony. For this initial ceremony, brides mostly either wear a 2-piece outfit (skirt and jacket) or an informal dress. Some brides choose to wear white, especially if they don't have a church wedding to follow.
If you are attending a German wedding as a bride and want to wear white, you should know that long trains are rare. Ballgown-style wedding gowns without trains are popular. The over-the-top fairy princess style sought by many American brides is not the norm in Germany. If the bride chooses to wear a veil, veils are usually fingertip length, and very seldom worn over the face when walking down the aisle. Some brides, especially Catholic brides, wear veils that are the same length as their gowns.
If you are the bride and want to incorporate German traditions into your attire, you should carry a bouquet with a white ribbon. After the ceremony, pieces of this white ribbon are given to guests to tie to the antennas of their cars. You should also carry salt and bread as an omen for a good harvest.
German weddings are marathons, so be prepared for a long day. Most brides stay in their wedding dress all day and do not change into a different outfit.
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Groom's attire: Black suit or tuxedo
When it comes to the groom's attire for a German wedding, there are a few options to consider. Traditionally, German grooms wear a formal suit or tuxedo in a neutral or dark hue, with black being a popular colour choice.
If you opt for a black suit, you can choose between a single-breasted or double-breasted style. A single-breasted suit is versatile and can be dressed up or down, making it a good choice for a range of wedding styles. It typically includes a jacket with a single-button closure, matching trousers, a nice shirt, and a tie. For a more casual look, you can even leave out the tie. On the other hand, a double-breasted suit features a jacket with a two-button closure and matching trousers.
If you prefer a tuxedo, it's important to note that they are typically worn for more formal events and are the most formal attire a person can wear. Tuxedos usually include satin detailing, such as a satin-faced lapel, satin buttons, or a satin stripe on the trousers. When wearing a tuxedo, black dress shoes are the typical choice, and they should not be loafers or oxfords.
It's worth noting that tuxedos tend to be more expensive than suits, so renting a tuxedo is also an option to consider. Ultimately, the choice between a black suit or a tuxedo depends on the dress code and style of the wedding, as well as your personal preference and budget.
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Guests: Smart casual, no hats or statement shoes
When deciding what to wear to a German wedding, it's important to consider the venue and the weather. If the wedding is held in a castle, for example, you may need to walk on cobblestones, so be sure to wear comfortable shoes. Castles can also get quite chilly in the evening, so bring something warm to wear that matches your outfit.
In general, it's best to avoid white, black, or anything too ostentatious. It's also a good idea to bring a cover-up for your shoulders and arms, especially if the wedding is in a church, as this is customary in Christian weddings.
For women, a nice simple dress is always a good choice. Knee-length or midi dresses in pastel colours or subtle prints are perfect for spring and summer weddings. If you want to stand out, yellow is a wonderful colour to wear as a guest. For winter weddings, velvet dresses are a glamorous option, or you could try a sparkly skirt with a knitted sweater.
For men, a suit is always a safe choice, and you can add glamorous accessories to avoid looking too formal.
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Two ceremonies: A simple civil ceremony, then a church wedding
In Germany, couples are required to have a civil ceremony before any religious one. This means that a couple might have a simple civil ceremony, then a larger church wedding.
For the civil ceremony, the bride usually wears a simple dress. This may be white, but it is not always a wedding dress. The groom typically wears a formal suit or tuxedo in a neutral or dark hue.
For the church ceremony, the bride usually wears a white bridal gown, but long trains are rare. The groom usually wears a tuxedo or black suit.
It is worth noting that German weddings are quite relaxed, and there is no requirement for the groom, best man, ushers and father of the bride to wear matching suits. It is also common for guests to arrive in jeans and a t-shirt.
If you are attending a German wedding as a guest, be aware that there are some traditions that may seem unusual. For example, the bride is kidnapped by her friends between the afternoon cake and coffee and dinner. The groom then has to find her, and pay the bill before they return to the wedding location.
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All-day event: From morning muesli to early hours reception
If you're attending a German wedding, be prepared for an all-day event. German weddings can start as early as 9 am and go on well past 1 am, so it's a marathon, not a sprint!
For an all-day German wedding, it's important to dress comfortably and be prepared for all kinds of activities, from morning muesli to the early-hours reception. The dress code for guests at German weddings is generally more relaxed than in some other countries. While you should still dress smartly, there's no need to worry about wearing something too formal or too casual. You certainly don't need to wear a matching suit like the groom, best man, ushers, and father of the bride, as is traditional in the UK. A cocktail dress and heels for women and a suit for men are generally appropriate choices.
If you're attending a German wedding, be aware that there may be unique traditions and activities throughout the day. The night before the wedding, for example, many couples host a Polterabend, where guests get together for drinks, food, and smashing plates, pots, pans, or even old sinks and toilets! This is believed to bring luck and let off steam before the wedding. Just be aware that this might leave you feeling a little delicate on the morning of the wedding!
On the day of the wedding, there are often activities for guests to participate in throughout the day. One tradition is log-sawing, where the newlyweds saw a log in half together after the ceremony. This is meant to represent the challenges a couple might face in their marriage and how they will work together to overcome them. There are also usually speeches, although they are not considered the main event as they are in some other countries.
Finally, when it comes to the reception, German weddings rarely wrap up before the early hours of the morning, so be prepared for a late night! The bride will usually stay in her wedding dress all day, and it's customary for her not to change into a different outfit. So, whether you're the bride, groom, or guest, make sure you're comfortable and ready for a full day of celebrations!
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Frequently asked questions
Brides usually wear white, with gowns that have little to no train. Some brides wear a 2-piece outfit, such as a skirt and jacket, or an informal dress. Brides also often wear a flowery headband with ribbons, a tiara, a little crown, or a hat. Most brides carry a little drawstring purse and wear gloves.
Grooms usually wear a formal suit or tuxedo in a neutral or dark hue, typically black.
German weddings tend to be all-day affairs, sometimes starting in the morning and lasting until the early morning hours the next day. There are often slow moments throughout the day, with activities such as tours or trips to the cinema for guests while the evening venue is being prepared. There are also unique traditions, such as log-sawing, which is done by the newlywed couple after the ceremony to symbolize how they will tackle tough tasks together in the future. Another tradition involves the bride and groom carrying candles trimmed with flowers and ribbons.
The dress code for guests tends to be smart casual, or "dress-down glam". Women typically wear a smart dress with a blazer or office-style jacket, while men wear suits. It is recommended to avoid towering stilettos and statement shoes, as well as hats and fascinators.
