Wedding Rehearsal Success: No Planner, No Problem

Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and while hiring a wedding planner can be a great help, it's not always feasible. If you're planning a wedding without a planner, it's important to be organised and stay on top of things. One of the key aspects of wedding planning is the wedding rehearsal, which is usually held a day or two before the wedding. This is when you and your wedding party practice the ceremony, from the processional to the recessional, to ensure that everyone knows what to do and when. While it's not mandatory, especially for small and informal weddings, it's a good idea if you want to include traditions, customs, or special readings in your ceremony. Here are some tips to help you plan and conduct a wedding rehearsal without a wedding planner.

Assign a friend or family member to coordinate

Assigning a friend or family member to coordinate your wedding rehearsal can be a great option. This person will not only help run the rehearsal but also be in charge of the ceremony on your wedding day, ensuring continuity and reducing confusion.

The best person for the coordinator role is someone who is assertive and can get your group to pay attention without being overbearing. A teacher is often a good choice, as they are used to managing large groups of people. It is also helpful if this person has a copy of your ceremony draft and a guide on how to run the rehearsal. That way, they will have all the information they need to direct the rehearsal efficiently.

• Formal introductions: Ask your coordinator to begin the rehearsal with introductions, especially if some members of the wedding party are meeting for the first time. This can include parents, the officiant, the wedding party (including child attendants), and any readers or performers.
• Usher instructions: Instructing and guiding guests to their seats is often a task for the groomsmen or additional ushers. Your coordinator should communicate with these individuals, walking them through where to stand, how to greet guests, and how to accompany them to their chairs.
• Music timing: Whether you have live musicians or recorded music, your coordinator should ensure that the music is timed correctly. They should also designate who will be in charge of starting and stopping the music and communicate this to the appropriate parties.
• Processional and recessional practice: Your coordinator will need to guide the wedding party through practicing the processional (the entrance) and the recessional (the exit). This includes deciding on the order of entrance and exit, the pacing, and any cues. They may need to do multiple run-throughs, especially if there are young child attendants.
• Readings and special movements: If you have any readings during the ceremony, your coordinator can ask the readers to practice aloud, using a microphone if necessary. They can also guide them on the appropriate volume and speed. Additionally, if you have any special requests for the Maid/Matron of Honor or Best Man, such as organising the bride's dress or presenting the rings, the coordinator should communicate these requests and have the individuals practice.
• Final questions and instructions: After the rehearsal run-through, your coordinator can bring the group together to address any questions or concerns. They can also provide final instructions and remind participants about when and where to meet for the actual wedding.

Plan the processional

The processional is one of the most memorable moments of any wedding day. It marks the start of the ceremony and is a highly anticipated moment, so it's important to get the wedding processional order down. The processional often includes a permutation of the officiant, the wedding party, flower girls, ring bearers, and the bride and groom and their parents.

Different types of weddings employ different processional orders, so be sure to do your research on the specific type of wedding you are planning. For example, Jewish weddings have both parties' grandparents walking down the aisle, while for Hindu weddings, the parents are more involved in the processional. If you want more flexibility, consider a nondenominational ceremony.

• Decide on the specific type of wedding you are having (e.g. Christian, Jewish, Hindu, nondenominational, etc.). This will determine the traditional order of the processional.
• Choose who will be included in the processional. Besides the bride and groom, this could include the officiant, wedding party, flower girls, ring bearers, and/or parents and grandparents of the couple.
• Determine the order of the processional. The traditional order may vary depending on cultural and religious factors, as well as personal preferences. For example, you may want to include both parents escorting the bride and groom, or have the wedding party enter in pairs instead of individually.
• Practise the timing and spacing of the processional. Each person or group should wait for a set distance before following the one before them, usually when they are halfway back up the aisle. This ensures that there is enough space between each person or group for photographs.
• Choose the music for the processional. While the traditional "Bridal Chorus" is commonly used, you can choose any song that is special to you and your partner to personalize the processional.
• On the day of the wedding rehearsal, walk through the processional as if it were the actual wedding day. Start with the officiant and/or groom, and then have each person or group walk down the aisle in the order you have determined, practising their timing and spacing.
• Make any necessary adjustments. After the first run-through, you may need to adjust the timing, spacing, or order of the processional. Communicate any changes clearly to everyone involved.
• Repeat the processional. Now that everyone knows what to do, practise walking through the processional again to ensure that everyone is confident and comfortable with their role.

By following these steps, you can ensure that the processional at your wedding rehearsal goes smoothly and that everyone knows what to do on the actual wedding day.

Practice the recessional

Now that you've practised walking in and know where to stand, it's time to practice walking out! This is known as the recessional.

The recessional is the piece of music played as the newly married couple and their attendants walk back down the aisle at the end of the ceremony. This is generally an upbeat piece of music, and often couples will choose 'their song' or a song that sums up their relationship. It needs to be fairly long to give everyone a chance to leave the ceremony room as the guests will often follow the bridal party out.

The traditional wedding recessional order is as follows:

• The newlyweds
• The flower girl and the ring bearer (if they remained at the altar during the ceremony)
• The maid of honour and the best man
• The bridesmaids and groomsmen
• Immediate family, usually led by the parents of the bride and groom.

If coupled, all should exit arm in arm; women should be on the men's right arms. However, this is entirely customisable. For example, you could have the couple leave on their own and, once they have exited the ceremony space, have the families and then the wedding party depart in the opposite lineup of your processional.

The wedding party can exit in pairs, or solo or in groups, depending on the couple's preference. The officiant is usually the last member of the wedding party to leave the ceremony, and can direct guests toward the cocktail space or reception.

When it comes to choosing your music, you could opt for a sentimental song that will get the tears flowing, or a joyful, vibrant, and celebratory tune. You could even have a soft piano Rick Roll like one couple on Reddit!

Send readings to participants beforehand

If you're planning a wedding rehearsal without a planner, it's a good idea to send readings to participants beforehand. This gives them time to practice and become comfortable with what they're saying. Send the readings to your coordinator, too, in case the reader forgets to bring them to the rehearsal.

If you don't have a coordinator, make a copy of the readings in a large, easy-to-read font to have on hand at the rehearsal and on the day of the wedding. That way, if the reader forgets to bring their copy, you'll have a backup.

The rehearsal is the time for any readers to practice their readings aloud, at the designated location, and using a microphone if one will be used for the ceremony. Gauge their speed and volume and have them practice more than once if needed. Advise each reader to bring a printed copy of their reading to the wedding ceremony.

If you have special requests for the maid of honour or best man, such as asking the maid of honour to organise the bride's dress once she's at the altar, or asking the best man to present the rings for the ring exchange, be sure to communicate these requests, as well as the cues, and have the responsible individuals practice.

Decide on a receiving line

A receiving line is a great way to greet your wedding guests and thank them for attending. It is usually set up at the end of the ceremony, the start of cocktail hour, or the beginning of the reception. The couple, the wedding's hosts, and key family members stand in a row and guests line up to greet them. This is a good opportunity for everyone to have some dedicated face time with the newlyweds.

If you decide to have a receiving line, there are a few options for the timing. The first is immediately following the ceremony. You can stand by the exit of the ceremony venue so that all your guests will see you as they leave. This is a common option as your guests are all in one place and can only go one way as they head to the reception.

The other option is to have your receiving line on the way into cocktail hour or the reception. Head to the entrance as soon as the ceremony is done to greet your guests as they make their way inside. However, this option may cause a bottleneck, especially if you have a large number of guests.

The receiving line usually includes the mother of the bride, the father of the bride, the newlyweds, the mother of the groom, and the father of the groom. As an alternative, the fathers can mingle with the crowd instead. Some couples also choose to include the maid of honour and the bridesmaids, who should stand after the parents of the groom. If your parents are divorced, they should not stand next to each other in the line. You can have the maid of honour or best man stand between them.

If you don't want to have a traditional receiving line, there are other ways to greet your guests. If you have a small guest list, you can do a first look and formal portrait session before the ceremony, then use the cocktail hour to say hello to your guests. Another option is to dismiss your guests from the ceremony yourselves, one row at a time. You can also make the rounds at the reception, greeting your guests table by table. However, this means you may miss the opportunity to enjoy your first meal with your new spouse.

Frequently asked questions