Rsvping To A Wedding: Mastering The Art Of Guest List Management

Finalising your guest list and sending out wedding invitations are two big steps, but the work doesn't end there. Next comes the waiting game, which can be frustrating and time-consuming. So, how do you determine an RSVP-by date for your wedding?

Firstly, it's important to set an RSVP deadline and stick to it. Your wedding RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding, and no later than two weeks before. This gives you enough time to organise your final guest list and chase up any late responses. It's also a good idea to give your guests a few different ways to respond, such as by mail or digitally via your wedding website.

Secondly, you'll want to give your guests enough time to respond, but not too much that they forget. It's recommended that you send out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding, giving guests a window of about one month to RSVP. This timeframe allows guests to figure out their attendance, make travel arrangements, and request time off work.

Lastly, don't forget to factor in your own preparations. You'll need to provide a final headcount to your caterer and venue at least one to two weeks before the wedding. So, if your wedding is on June 20th, set your RSVP date for May 23rd. This gives you two weeks to gather late responses and provide an accurate headcount.

Now you can sit back, relax, and wait for those RSVPs to come flooding in!

Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding

Sending out your wedding invites is one of the most exciting steps in your planning journey. It's important to get the timing right so that you can give your guests enough time to plan and make travel arrangements if necessary.

The general rule of thumb is to send your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and make any necessary plans, such as booking travel and accommodations. It also means you can request RSVPs sooner and have more time to create your seating chart before the week of the wedding.

If your wedding falls on a holiday weekend or is a destination wedding, it is advisable to send your invitations even earlier—around 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding date. This is because your guests may need more time to plan their travel and accommodations during popular travel times or for far-off destinations.

For international guests, it is recommended to send their invitations at the same time as other guests but be sure to give them a heads-up via call, text, or email. This way, they have all the information they need to start arranging their travel with plenty of time.

If you are only sending digital invitations, it is still wise to stick to the traditional six-to-eight-week timeline. This is because a wedding invitation is a formal bid and a big commitment, so your potential attendees should be given ample time to respond.

• Send save-the-dates: four to six months before the wedding
• Send invitations: six to eight weeks before the wedding
• Set RSVP deadline: four weeks before the wedding
• Follow up with guests who haven't responded: one to two weeks before the wedding

Set RSVP deadline for 4 weeks before the wedding

Setting an RSVP deadline is an important part of wedding planning. It can be frustrating to wait for RSVPs to come in, but there are a few things you can do to ensure you get your responses on time and can finalise your guest list.

Firstly, you should set your RSVP deadline for around four weeks before your wedding day. This gives you enough time to chase up any late responses and confirm your final numbers with your caterer and venue. Typically, they will ask for a headcount one to two weeks before your wedding day, so you'll need a few days to get in touch with people who haven't responded. It's a good idea to ask your caterer and venue for a firm date before sending out your invitations, so you can work backwards from there.

For example, if your wedding day is June 20th, and your venue wants your final headcount by June 6th, your RSVP date should be May 23rd. This gives you a two-week window to gather late responses and provide an accurate headcount by their deadline.

You should send your wedding invitations around six to eight weeks before your wedding, giving your guests four to five weeks to RSVP. This is plenty of time for people to figure out their attendance and make travel arrangements if necessary. If you leave too much time between sending the invitations and the RSVP date, your guests might put off responding and forget.

Be sure to clearly include the RSVP deadline on your invitations and wedding website, and consider giving guests multiple ways to respond, such as by post or online through your wedding website.

Allow a grace period for late responses

When it comes to wedding RSVPs, it's inevitable that some guests won't respond by the deadline. To account for this, it's a good idea to build in a grace period for late responses. This will give your guests some extra time to confirm their attendance and reduce the number of non-responders you need to chase up.

How much time should you allow for this grace period? Wedding planners Sophie Mae and Jove Meyer suggest giving your guests an extra week after the specified RSVP date. This provides a buffer for any personal delays your guests might be experiencing. If you still haven't received all the responses after this additional week, it's time to start following up with those who are overdue.

To be prepared for late responses, it's important to keep track of who has and hasn't replied. Create a detailed record of responses, so you know exactly who you need to contact if they don't respond by the deadline. This will make it easier to follow up with individual guests and get a clear picture of your guest list.

When the grace period ends and you still haven't heard from certain guests, it's appropriate to take a more proactive approach. You can reach out to them individually, asking if they plan to attend. It's best to use a method of communication that you commonly use with that person, such as a text message, email, or phone call. Your message can be informal and friendly, simply reminding them of the upcoming wedding and your need for a final head count. If you feel uncomfortable reaching out directly, you can ask a member of the wedding party, such as the maid of honour or best man, to contact the guest on your behalf.

By allowing a grace period and then actively following up, you can increase the likelihood of receiving timely responses and finalise your guest list with minimal stress.

Follow up with guests who haven't responded

It's important to follow up with guests who haven't responded to your wedding RSVP. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Timing is Key

Give guests about one week after your wedding invitation response date before you start following up. This allows time for those who may have mailed their response cards on the RSVP date to arrive. Waiting a week also makes you look more in control than calling on the RSVP deadline.

Method of Communication

It is recommended to call guests rather than email. Emails may get lost in spam folders, whereas a phone call allows your polite tone to come through. Your message can be as simple as, "Just calling to see if you'll be able to attend our wedding."

Respond Appropriately

If a guest expresses surprise that you didn't receive their response, you have your answer. If your RSVP card included meal choices, you can also get this information and ask about any dietary restrictions. If they are still unsure, remain calm and set a deadline, explaining that you need to submit a headcount to the caterer.

Set a Clear Deadline

When asking for a response, avoid saying, "Please get back to me within 24 hours." Instead, give a specific day, such as Tuesday, even if it's 48 hours away. This sounds less demanding while still providing a clear deadline.

Avoid Over-Apologizing

While it's fine to apologise for calling during the evening, for example, don't overdo it. You have a right to ask for their response, as your vendors need a headcount for their planning. Over-apologising can give the impression that the guest is in control and can respond when they feel like it.

Check in Personally

It's best to make these calls yourself. While it might seem like a good idea to have a parent call relatives, they may be uncomfortable doing so, and the conversation could veer off-topic. Making the calls yourself ensures you get the answers you need for your final headcount.

Finalise details with vendors 1-2 weeks before the wedding

Finalising the details with your vendors one to two weeks before the wedding is a crucial step in the wedding planning process. Here are some essential tasks to ensure everything runs smoothly:

Final Headcount

Provide your final headcount to your vendors, including the ceremony and reception sites, caterers, rentals company, and other pros such as your stationer, florist, cake baker, and transportation company. Don't forget to include vendors who will need meals, such as your photographer, videographer, and musicians.

Arrival Logistics

Confirm the arrival date, time, and location for each vendor. Share this information with your wedding planner and site managers. Also, confirm both the pick-up and drop-off times and locations with your transportation company.

Day-of Timeline

Create a detailed timeline of your wedding day, including timing, locations, and other relevant information. Share this timeline with your vendors, immediate families, wedding party members, and any other VIPs. This will ensure everyone is on the same page and help the day run smoothly.

Pre-wedding Payments

Finalise any outstanding payments and confirm tipping arrangements for your vendors. It's best to take care of these details in advance to avoid last-minute stress.

Emergency Contacts

Provide your vendors with emergency contact information. Share the details of your wedding planner, venue coordinator, or a trusted member of the wedding party who can be reached if any issues arise on the day.

Menu Selections and Seating Chart

Finalise menu selections and share any special requests or dietary requirements with your caterer. Create a seating chart and provide it to your caterer and venue staff to ensure a smooth dinner service.

Frequently asked questions