
Receiving a wedding invitation in the mail is an exciting moment, but it's important to remember to fill out and send back the RSVP card promptly. The M on a wedding RSVP card stands for the first letter of the title you prefer to go by, such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. It is meant to be helpful, but it can be confusing. The M should be followed by your full name and title. If you are attending with a partner, their name should also be included, along with any children if they are also invited. Be sure to indicate the number of people attending and, if there is a choice of food, make your selection. Even if you can't attend, it's important to still send back the RSVP card to let the couple know.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Purpose of "M" | To indicate that guests should include their honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name |
| Who should send RSVPs | Anyone who has been invited should send an RSVP, even if they cannot make it |
| When to send RSVPs | As soon as possible after receiving the invitation, but no later than the RSVP date |
| What to include on the RSVP card | Names of those attending, number of attendees, meal selection, and any other details requested by the couple (e.g., song requests, drink preference, favourite memory) |
| How to indicate acceptance or decline | Use numbers (e.g., 1) instead of an "X" to indicate accepts and declines |
| How to include children | Write their first names if there is room, or indicate that you are bringing children in the space asking for the number of attendees |
| How to be inclusive | Instead of "M", use "Name:" to allow guests to include their titles without confusion, especially for those who don't identify with a specific title |
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What You'll Learn

'M' is a prompt for guests to write their names and titles
The "M" on a wedding RSVP card is a traditional prompt for guests to write their names and titles. It is an abbreviation of the honorifics "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", or "Miss". The guest writes their full name, along with the names of anyone else who has been invited, on the line that follows the "M". For example, a guest might write "Mr. Adam Smith" or "Ms. Jane Smith".
The use of "M" as a prompt is considered more formal and traditional. Modern wedding invitation etiquette tends to be more relaxed, with many couples opting for a more informal "Name(s)" approach instead.
It is worth noting that including the "M" on response cards is not necessary. Couples may choose to simply put ""Name:" followed by a line, allowing guests to include their titles if they wish. This approach can be more inclusive, especially for those who do not identify with a specific title.
To avoid any confusion, it is important to provide a clear prompt on the RSVP card. Without a prompt, guests may overlook including their name, resulting in an RSVP from an unknown guest.
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Include a special request line for guests' song requests
The "M" on wedding RSVP cards is a prompt for guests to write their names, including their honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss). This is more common in formal invitations. However, modern wedding invitation etiquette tends to be more relaxed, and you may choose to simply include "Name:" or "Names:" instead. This approach is more inclusive, especially for those who do not identify with a specific title.
Now, on to the fun part: including a special request line for guests' song choices! This is a fantastic idea to engage your guests and get them excited about the wedding reception. Here are some tips and examples to help you execute this idea flawlessly:
Wording Ideas for Song Request Line
- "I will dance at your wedding if you play this song ______________."
- "Please request a song, so together we can dance all night long! ____________________________"
- "I promise to dance to ______________."
- "Song request: ______________."
Planning and Considerations
- Order your invitations well in advance so that you have ample time to collate the song requests and create a playlist or provide them to your DJ.
- Request no more than three songs from each guest if you're tight on space. You can suggest that they write their additional choices on the back of the RSVP.
- Include a disclaimer that you, as the happy couple, have veto power over all song choices. This way, you can avoid any songs that don't align with your taste or the wedding's theme.
- Create a database with your guests' names and their song requests. This will help you organize the information and ensure that you don't forget anyone's request.
- Discuss with your DJ or band about the song requests. They can guide you on how to create a cohesive playlist that flows well and keeps the dance floor lively.
- Understand that the song requests are not a "must-play" list. Instead, treat them as a guide for your DJ or band to get a sense of your guests' preferences.
- Select a variety of songs, considering the age range of your guests, to ensure that everyone feels included.
- If you have a wedding website, consider adding a song request section for guests who may forget to send back their RSVPs.
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Indicate whether you will be attending and how many people are attending
The "M" on a wedding RSVP card is a traditional prompt for guests to write their names, including their honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss). Including the "M" is optional, and some couples choose to use a more modern approach with a simple "Name:" prompt to avoid confusion and be more inclusive.
When indicating the number of people attending, it is important to be clear and unambiguous to avoid misunderstandings. Here are some suggestions for wording this section of the RSVP:
- "We will attend with ____ other guests" or "We will be ____ people attending" (include a blank line for guests to fill in the number of people attending with them).
- "Number of guests: ____" (this could be interpreted as the number of additional guests, so it may be better to use the phrasing above).
- "Our party will consist of ____ people" (this option is clearer and avoids the potential ambiguity of the previous two options).
- "Seats reserved in your honour: ____" (this option pre-fills the first blank with the number of people invited and allows the guest to fill in the second blank with the number of people attending).
- "____ of ____ guests attending" (this option provides two blanks: one for the number of guests invited and one for the number attending).
Some couples also include a special request line on their RSVP cards, such as song requests or drink preferences, to make the process more fun and engaging for their guests.
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Send an RSVP even if you cannot make it
When it comes to wedding planning, it's important to know how many guests will be in attendance. This can affect the budget, as each guest costs a certain amount, and it can also impact the table plan and seating chart. So, if you can't make it to a wedding, it's essential to send an RSVP to let the couple know.
Firstly, it's important to give guests enough time to RSVP. Usually, invitations are sent out six to twelve weeks before the wedding, and guests should be given at least two weeks to respond. This is because guests may need to organise their budget, book time off work, or arrange childcare before they can give a firm answer.
If you're unable to attend the wedding, it's a good idea to respond to the RSVP as soon as possible. This will allow the couple to adjust their plans accordingly. When responding, it's polite to include a brief message expressing your regrets and well wishes for the couple. For example, you could say, "I'm so sorry I can't make it, but I hope you have a wonderful day and wish you all the best."
If the RSVP deadline has passed and you haven't heard from some guests, it's a good idea to send a polite reminder via email or text. It's common for people to overlook emails or forget to respond, so a gentle nudge is usually all that's needed. If you don't hear back after a few days, it's appropriate to follow up with a phone call. This will let the guest know that you're serious about needing a final head count.
In your response, it's important to include your name and any titles or honorifics, especially if there is an “M” at the start of the line on the RSVP card. This indicates that guests should include their proper title, such as Mr., Mrs., or Ms., before their names. This helps the couple know how to address their guests and ensures the correct spelling of names for any seating charts or place settings.
In conclusion, even if you can't make it to a wedding, sending an RSVP is essential for the couple's planning process. It's polite to respond as soon as possible and include a brief message expressing your regrets and well wishes. By doing so, you'll help the couple finalise their guest count and budget, and ensure that their big day runs smoothly.
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Make sure to send your RSVP before the due date
The "M" on a wedding RSVP card is a traditional prompt for guests to write their names, along with their honorifics (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss). This helps the couple know who is attending and how to spell everyone's name correctly for the seating chart.
Now, let's discuss why it's crucial to send your RSVP before the due date:
First and foremost, sending your RSVP promptly is courteous to the couple. It helps them finalize their guest list and makes it easier for them to plan various wedding details, such as the seating chart, transportation, meals, and reserving the correct number of tables and chairs. The couple will thank you for your promptness as they won't have to follow up to confirm your attendance.
Secondly, wedding planning involves coordinating with vendors, including caterers and venues, who require a final guest count. Most vendors need this information about one to two weeks before the wedding. Therefore, it is standard to set the RSVP deadline at least four weeks before the wedding and no later than two weeks before the big day. This sweet spot allows the couple enough time to organize their final plans and follow up with any guests who haven't responded.
Additionally, as a guest, submitting your RSVP on time ensures that your preferences are considered. For example, some couples use RSVP cards to gather meal selections or song requests. Responding before the deadline increases the likelihood that your choices will be accommodated.
Lastly, timely RSVPs help prevent last-minute surprises for the couple. Imagine a scenario where a relative calls the day before the wedding, informing the couple that they are attending with several unexpected plus-ones. With proper RSVPs, the couple can avoid such stressful situations and ensure a well-organized event.
In conclusion, sending your wedding RSVP before the due date is essential for maintaining a smooth planning process and helping the couple create a memorable celebration. Your prompt response is greatly appreciated and contributes to the overall success of their special day.
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Frequently asked questions
The "M" stands for the first letter of the title you prefer to go by, be it Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss.
If there is a blank space, write in the number of people who will be attending. If there are checkboxes, mark the number of guests by either "joyfully accepts" or "regretfully declines".
Check over the invitation to make sure there's nothing that indicates an adults-only wedding. If the envelope is addressed to your family, your children are likely included.
If the outer envelope was addressed to just you, you likely do not have a plus one. If you are unsure, call the bride or groom.
Send back the RSVP card as soon as possible. It is considered rude to respond by phone or email if a card was sent to you.











































