Choosing Bridesmaids When You Have No Friends

Choosing your bridesmaids can be a daunting task, especially if you feel you don't have many friends. However, it's important to remember that the concept of friendship is flexible and that you may have more friends than you think. Friends can be family members, colleagues, or even acquaintances. You can also choose to have a smaller bridal party or no bridal party at all. Ultimately, it's your wedding, and you can decide how many, if any, bridesmaids you want by your side.

Redefine friend

The first step in choosing bridesmaids when you have no friends is to redefine what a friend is. Friends are not just people outside of work and family, they can be your aunt, your cousin, or your work wife. Friendships are elastic and fluid, and people can come in and out of your life.

Friendship is a continuum, with complete strangers on one end and lifelong friends on the other. Most people fall somewhere in the middle, with those in your "warm regard" category being people you socialise with and lean on during tough times, but with whom your connection fades as you move on to another phase of life.

Culture tells us that we should have a certain number of friends and that we should maintain friendships from our childhood. However, this is not always realistic, and it's okay to have friends that serve a temporary purpose in your life. As you move through life, your relationships will change and evolve, and that's normal.

When choosing your bridesmaids, consider the people in your life who you feel close to and who will support you on your wedding day. It's also important to remember that you don't need to have a large bridal party, and it's becoming more popular for brides to choose just one or two close friends or family members to stand by their side.

Expand your horizons

If you're struggling to choose bridesmaids because you feel you have no friends, it might be time to expand your horizons. It's common for people to inadvertently shift their focus to their partners and away from maintaining many friendships around the time of their wedding. This means you may have fallen out of touch with people you used to be close with. Getting married is a great excuse to reconnect with old friends. The excitement and emotion of your wedding, as well as the planning process, can help bring you closer together. Friendships are elastic, and you should always feel comfortable reaching out to someone you were once close with.

If you're still struggling to think of people to include in your wedding, consider the weddings you've been in. If you've been a bridesmaid for someone, they may be more than happy to return the favour. Even if you don't feel especially close at the time of asking, you'll likely grow closer throughout the process of planning your wedding and may even gain a new best friend.

Remember, there's no rule that says you have to have a certain number of bridesmaids. It's becoming more and more common for brides to opt for just one ride-or-die friend to be by their side on their wedding day, or to skip bridesmaids altogether.

Consider past weddings

If you're struggling to choose bridesmaids because you feel you have no friends, it's worth considering the weddings you've been a part of in the past. Think about the weddings you've been in and consider asking those brides to return the favour. It's only natural to exchange bridesmaid duties—after all, if you were close enough to be in her wedding, then you're definitely close enough to ask her to be in yours. Even if you don't feel super-close at the time you ask, you'll likely get closer over time, and might even leave your wedding day with a new bestie in addition to your new spouse.

If the wedding you were a part of was fairly recent (three years or less), it's polite to ask that person to be a bridesmaid in your wedding too. If the wedding was more than a few years ago, you’re not obligated to reciprocate unless you want to. However, if you’re still friends, you should still invite them to attend your wedding as a guest.

If you have grown apart or had a falling out, even if she got married last summer, no one will force you to include her—and she’ll probably understand why she didn’t make the cut. If you don't want to include someone, it's best to be honest and upfront. You can still make your friends feel special without making them bridesmaids. You can invite them to a private celebration, like a bridal luncheon, before the wedding, or ask them to do a reading during your ceremony.

Be OK with just one

If you're worried about how to pick bridesmaids when you have no friends, don't be! It's becoming more popular for brides to ask just one friend to be their right-hand on their wedding day, and some even choose to throw out the idea of bridal parties altogether.

You don't need a row of women at the top of the aisle, and you don't need a group of women helping you plan and craft for 18 months. In fact, a single bridesmaid is a great choice for those who are super-selective with their friendships, and it'll also save you money, anxiety and drama.

Your wedding day should be a celebration of you as a couple, so if you choose to not have bridesmaids, that's absolutely fine. For every ceremony that has a large wedding party, there are plenty of weddings with no bridal party at all. You may still choose to have a flower girl or ring bearer, or you may decide to remove this tradition from your celebration.

Trust your gut and do what will ultimately make you the happiest. Your friends may even be excited to just "attend" the wedding and have fun, instead of having a role to play in the nuptials.

Include family

If you're struggling to choose bridesmaids because you feel you have no friends, it might be time to redefine what a friend is to you. Friends can come from anywhere, and you might realise that you have a ton of close, supportive relationships in your life that could translate into your bridal party. For example, your aunt, work wife, or even your male cousin could be your bridesperson.

If you have a big family, you could ask teenage family members to be junior bridesmaids, and younger family members to be flower girls or ring bearers. You could also include your sister in your bridal party, or your partner's sister, even if you're not particularly close to them. You'll likely become closer to them over the years, and including them in your bridal party can help to avoid any conflict or hurt feelings.

There are also alternative roles for family members who aren't in your bridal party. For example, you could ask a family member to be an usher, candlelighter, or ceremony reader. If you have musically inclined family members, you could ask them to perform during the ceremony or as prelude music. You could also ask a family member to be the officiant, adding a personal and intimate touch to the ceremony.

Remember, there's no law of symmetry when it comes to bridal parties, so don't feel pressured to fill positions just to even things out.

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