Wedding Invitation Etiquette For Lesbian Couples: A Guide

When addressing a lesbian couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few options depending on their marital status, the formality of the invitation, and whether they have the same last name. If the couple is unmarried, traditional etiquette suggests addressing each person individually, with each name on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried heterosexual couple. For married couples with different last names, both names can go on the same line, separated by and. For example, Mrs. Sarah Norris and Mrs. Caroline Wallace. If the couple is married and shares a last name, you can use their full names on the invitation, such as Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint. Alternatively, you can use the French plural titles Mesdames or Mmes. for a more formal approach.

Married with different surnames: list full names with 'and' between

When addressing a lesbian couple with different surnames on a wedding invitation, the general rule is to list both their full names on the same line, with the word "and" between them. Here are some examples:

• Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams
• Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green
• Dr. Maria Constantine and Ms. Laura Smith

When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is customary to separate their names with the word "and". This format is also applicable when addressing same-sex married couples with different surnames.

If you are unsure about the preferred titles or order of names, it is always best to ask the couple for their preferred format.

Married with same surname: use 'Mrs' or 'Mr' plus shared surname

When addressing a lesbian couple with the same surname on a wedding invitation, there are a few options to consider. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this:

Formality

Firstly, consider the level of formality you wish to convey. Traditionally, married couples are addressed with titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." However, in modern times, it is also acceptable to omit these titles altogether, resulting in a less formal invitation. This approach can be safer as it avoids the potential pitfalls of incorrect title usage.

If you opt for titles, the standard approach is to address each member of a married female couple as "Mrs." or "Ms." For example, "Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint." Alternatively, you can write, "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Clint." The choice between "Mrs." and "Ms." depends on your preference and that of the couple. "Ms." is often chosen as it does not identify a woman by her marital status.

Plural Titles

Another option is to use the plural form of the titles. In English, you can use the French plural titles "Messrs." for a male couple and "Mesdames" or "Mmes." for a female couple. For instance, "Mesdames Anna and Emily Andrews." This approach is especially useful when the couple has the same surname, avoiding the awkwardness of pluralising "Mr." or "Mrs."

Alphabetical Order

When addressing a couple with the same surname, it is generally advisable to list their names alphabetically. This approach ensures consistency and avoids any potential misunderstandings. For example, "Mrs. Claire Rockefort and Mrs. Diana Rockefort."

Professional Titles

If one or both members of the couple are doctors, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" instead of "Mr." or "Mrs." For example, "Doctors Maria Constantine and Laura Constantine." Similarly, if they are lawyers, you can add ", Esquire" after their names.

Order of Names

When addressing a married couple, the traditional approach is to list the person you are primarily inviting first, followed by their partner's name. However, if you are inviting the couple as a whole, alphabetical order is often the best way to arrange the names. There are no rigid rules, and you can choose the order that sounds better or more natural to you. Just be sure to maintain consistency in the invitation and on the envelope.

Ask the Couple

Finally, remember that different couples may have different preferences. If you are unsure, don't hesitate to ask the couple how they would like to be addressed. They will likely appreciate your thoughtfulness and effort to get it right.

Unmarried: traditional etiquette says address each person individually

When addressing a lesbian couple on a wedding invitation, it is important to follow the correct etiquette to ensure your guests feel respected and included. If the couple is unmarried, traditional etiquette states that you should address each person individually, just as you would for an unmarried heterosexual couple. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this:

Outer Envelope Address Format:

The outer envelope of the invitation is where you would list their names. It is customary to write each name on a separate line, in alphabetical order by last name. For example, if you are inviting a couple with the names "Jane Doe" and "John Smith", the outer envelope would be addressed as follows:

Ms. Jane Doe

Ms. John Smith

123 Lesbians Lane

Prideville, CA 99999

Note that you can use "Ms." for unmarried women, regardless of their age. This is often preferred as it does not identify a woman by her marital status.

Inner Envelope Address Format:

The inner envelope is where you would include their titles and last names, again on separate lines. Using the same example as above, the inner envelope would look like this:

Ms. Doe

Ms. Smith

Formality and Flexibility:

While tradition dictates these guidelines, it is important to remember that there is flexibility in how you choose to address your invitations. You can opt for a more modern approach, such as removing titles altogether, which makes the invitation less formal. Additionally, if the couple has expressed their preference for a specific form of address, be sure to honour their wishes.

Married Lesbian Couples:

If the lesbian couple is married, the addressing format changes slightly. Their names would appear on the same line, similar to how you would address a heterosexual married couple with different last names. For example, if the married couple has the same last name, you could address the invitation as "Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint." If they have different last names, you would include both their first and last names, such as "Mrs. Jane Smith and Mrs. Sarah Doe."

In conclusion, when addressing an unmarried lesbian couple on a wedding invitation, traditional etiquette suggests addressing each person individually, with their names listed alphabetically on separate lines on the outer envelope and their titles and last names on the inner envelope. However, don't be afraid to adapt these guidelines to fit the preferences and dynamics of the couple you are inviting.

Formal titles: 'Mr' and 'Mrs' are standard, but 'Mx' is gender-neutral

When addressing a lesbian couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few options to consider depending on the couple's marital status, their surnames, and the level of formality you wish to convey. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this:

Formal Titles: Mr and Mrs are standard, but Mx is gender-neutral

When addressing a lesbian couple, you can use formal titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." or "Ms." These titles are commonly used and convey a sense of formality and respect. However, it's important to use these titles appropriately and consider the couple's preferences.

• If the couple has the same last name, you can address them as "Mrs. [Name] and Mrs. [Name]." For example, "Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint." You can also write the last name once as "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Clint."
• If the couple has different last names, list their full names with "and" between them. For example, "Mrs. Sarah Norris and Mrs. Caroline Wallace."
• When addressing the outer envelope, you can list the names alphabetically on separate lines. For instance, "Mrs. Sarah Norris, Mrs. Caroline Wallace."
• For a more informal approach, you can skip the titles and use their first and last names. This option is less traditional but can be a nice alternative.
• If you are unsure of the couple's preferred titles or wish to use a gender-neutral option, you can use the title "Mx." This title is gender-neutral and can be used for any individual, regardless of gender or marital status. For example, "Mx. John Smith and Mx. James Doe."

It's important to remember that different couples may have different preferences, so don't hesitate to ask them if you are unsure. Showing respect and support for their relationship is essential.

Alphabetical order: list names alphabetically if unsure of preference

When addressing a lesbian couple on a wedding invitation, it's important to consider their marital status, name preferences, and your relationship with them. If the couple has the same last name, you can use "Mrs." or "Ms." followed by their names, either in alphabetical order or with the person you are closest to first. For example, "Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint" or "Mrs. Sarah and Mrs. Jane Clint". Alternatively, you can use the French plural titles "Mesdames" or "Mmes." followed by their shared last name, like "Mesdames Jane and Sarah Clint" or "Mmes. Clint".

If the couple has different last names, you can list their full names with "and" between them, such as "Mrs. Jane Smith and Mrs. Sarah Brown". You can also use their first names only, like "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah". If one person has a professional title, such as "Dr." or "Esq.", you can include that before their name. For instance, "Dr. Jane Smith and Mrs. Sarah Brown".

When addressing the envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use just their first and last names or add their preferred titles. If you're not sure about their preferred titles, it's best to check with them directly. Remember, the most important thing is to honour their relationship and show your support for their union.

Frequently asked questions