Addressing Wedding Invites: A Guide To Envelope Etiquette

Wedding invitation envelopes are a tricky business. There are many nuances to writing out your attendees' names, which depend on their relationship status, honorific titles, whether or not they're getting a plus one, and more. The good news is that the world of wedding invitation etiquette is flexible and you can make your paper invitations suit your own. Here's a quick guide to addressing the back of the envelope for your wedding invitations.

Outer envelope format for a married couple with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation envelope for a married couple with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Here is a step-by-step guide:

• Outer envelope format: The outer envelope is the one that will be stamped and addressed to the couple. The traditional way to address a married couple with the same last name is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If you prefer to include both their first names, you can write: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". This format can also be used for same-sex couples, with the appropriate prefixes.
• Inner envelope format: The inner envelope is optional and is placed inside the outer envelope. It only includes the names of the invitees. For a married couple with the same last name, the inner envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names: "Thomas and Michelle". If you have used their first names on the outer envelope, you can simply write "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" on the inner envelope.
• Using titles: It is important to use the correct titles when addressing the envelopes. "Mr." is used for men, while "Mrs." is used for married women who use their husband's last name. "Ms." is used for single women or married women who use their maiden name. For girls under 18, use "Miss".
• Name order: When addressing a married couple, the traditional way is to write the man's name first, followed by the woman's name. However, in modern times, you can list the person you are closer to first, or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both.
• Full names vs. first names: It is considered more formal to use the full names of the couple on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you have the option to use just their first names if you prefer a more casual approach.
• Addressing plus-ones: If one of the invitees has a plus-one, it is best to include the name of the guest if you know it. On the outer envelope, write the name of the invitee followed by "and Guest". On the inner envelope, you can simply write the names of both guests.
• Abbreviations: When writing the address on the envelope, avoid using abbreviations for street addresses (e.g., use "Avenue" instead of "Ave."). However, abbreviations are acceptable for a more casual look.

Inner envelope format for a married couple with different surnames

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different surnames, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the outer envelope, which is the formal envelope that will be mailed, should include the couple's full names with their personal titles. The woman's name is typically written first, followed by the man's name. If you are closer to one of the spouses, list them first. If you know both equally well, it is traditional to begin with the woman's name.

Outer envelope: Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews

For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can choose to include their full names with titles, or just their first names. Here are some options:

Inner envelope: Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Matthews, Gwyneth and Cyan, or G&C

If you are inviting the couple with children, the outer envelope should include the names of the parents or guardians, and the inner envelope should list each child by name. Here is an example:

Outer envelope: Mrs. Georgina Evans and Mr. Simon Khan

Inner envelope: Georgina and Simon, Georgina Evans and Simon Khan, Mr. Khan & Mrs. Evans, or Georgina, Simon, Lola, Charles, and Eva

Remember, the inner envelope is more informal, so you can choose to include as much or as little information as you like.

Addressing a wedding invitation to a single male

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single male, the general rule is to use the prefix "Mr." if he is over 18. If the male guest is younger than 18, no title is necessary.

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"

If the single male guest has been offered a plus one, it is best to refrain from indicating this on the outer envelope. Instead, use "and guest" on the inner envelope:

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest"

It is also worth noting that wedding invitation etiquette is becoming less formal. If you are having a casual wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or a picnic in the park, it may be appropriate to use first names only or leave off titles. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide how formal or informal you want your wedding invitation envelopes to be.

Addressing a wedding invitation to a family, including children

When addressing a wedding invitation to a family, including children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names for each family member. For the outer envelope, use the parents' full names, addressing them as "Mr." and "Mrs". If the couple is unmarried, name the person you are closest to first, followed by their partner. In the case of a same-sex couple, use the appropriate prefix for each person. For the inner envelope, you can use their first names only, or include their titles and last names.

When inviting children under the age of 18, list their names on the inner envelope only. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss", while boys do not need a title until they are 16. If you are not inviting children, simply omit their names from the invitation. To make it clear that children are not invited, mention this on your wedding website or inform your close family and wedding party to spread the word.

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

Alternatively, if you prefer a more general approach, you can simply address the envelope to "The Abraham Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham and Family".

Remember to give yourself enough time to assemble and mail the invitations, and consider using digital calligraphy or hiring a local calligrapher for a thoughtful touch.

Return address etiquette

The return address is important as it tells guests where gifts and RSVPs should be mailed. It's also useful if an invitation is returned to the sender by the mail.

The return address goes on the back flap of the invitation envelope and the front side of the response envelopes. If you are using double envelopes (inner and outer), the return address only goes on the back flap of the outermost envelope.

Traditionally, no names are included on the outer envelope, only the physical address. However, it is acceptable to include names if you wish. If you do include names, the return address on your response envelope should include names too. Here are some examples:

Formal:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Johnson

12 Park Lane

Mobile, Alabama 36695

Less formal:

Kari and Bradley

23848 Dunmore Loop

Mobile, Alabama 36695

There are several options for getting your return address onto the envelope:

• Return address labels: These can be printed at places like VistaPrint and Shutterfly, or designed on your own computer and printed at home.
• Pre-printed return address on the envelope: This can often be added for a small fee when ordering envelopes online.
• Return address stamp: You can order a custom stamp with your return address, or even get one designed by a calligrapher.
• Calligraphy return address: This is the most expensive option, but ensures a 100% match in writing style and ink colour.

Remember, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to addressing envelopes. Feel free to adapt these suggestions to fit your personality and the style of your wedding!

Frequently asked questions