Deborah Chan
When addressing a wedding card, it is customary to use the couple's first names, their married style (e.g. Mr. and Mrs. Potter), or a simple The Newlyweds. If the couple has different last names, it is suggested to list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close with both. For a more formal approach, each name should get its own line, whereas a casual tone allows for the names to be on the same line without the last names included. Ultimately, the greeting should match the couple's style and your relationship with them.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Salutation | Use the couple's first names, e.g., 'Dear Ginny and Harry' |
| Use the couple's new married style, e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Potter | |
| Use 'The Newlyweds' if unsure about the couple's last name | |
| For unmarried couples living together, include both names on the envelope | |
| For married couples with the same last name, use the man's full name, e.g., Mr. & Mrs. Mario Bryant | |
| For a more casual tone, use first names only, e.g., Mr. & Mrs. Bryant, or just Jill & Mario | |
| If one spouse is a doctor, their title comes first, e.g., Dr. & Mrs. Bill Giovani | |
| Sign-off | Something heartfelt, e.g., 'Wishing you a lifetime of happiness' |
| 'With all our best wishes on your big day' | |
| Envelope | Use the couple's first names, their married style, or 'The Newlyweds' |
| For cards sent before the wedding by those not attending, use an unmarried joint form, e.g., Mr. H. Potter and Ms. G. Weasley | |
| For cards sent after the wedding, use the new married style if names have changed, e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Potter | |
| Return Address | Use full names with or without courtesy titles, e.g., 'The future Mrs. Smith' |
| If your wedding is large, include both first and last names in the return address | |
| If you don't live together, use the address you prefer to receive RSVP cards |
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What You'll Learn
Include the recipient's full address on the front of the outer envelope
When addressing a wedding invitation, it is important to include the recipient's full address on the front of the outer envelope. This is the only piece of address information that needs to be included on the outer envelope. The recipient's full name(s) should also be included on the outer envelope, and this should be written formally. The outer envelope serves to protect the inner envelope during the mailing process.
The inner envelope is more elaborate and does not require any address information other than the name of each recipient. If you are mailing invitations to a couple with the same last name, there are a few options for addressing the envelope. You can use the man's full name and refer to them as "Mr. & Mrs.", include both first names with the male's name coming first, or use their first names or "Mr. & Mrs." and omit their first names.
If you are the host or couple getting married, it is important to include your return address on the envelope. This should be your full name with or without courtesy titles. If your wedding is large, it is a good idea to include your first name as well, so that guests who may not know your first name can address you correctly. You should also include the street address that you would like to receive RSVP cards from guests at.
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Use titles and names, e.g. 'Dr. & Mrs.' or 'Mr. & Mrs.'
When addressing a wedding card, it is important to consider titles and names, such as Dr. & Mrs. or Mr. & Mrs. These titles are used as honorifics before a person's name to show respect. The use of these titles depends on the marital status and gender of the couple, as well as their personal preferences.
Mr. is typically used before the names of men and boys, while Mrs. is used before the names of married women. If the couple is not married, or if they prefer not to use gendered titles, alternative options are available. One option is to use gender-neutral honorifics such as Mx., M, Ind. (short for individual), or Misc. (short for miscellaneous). These alternatives are less commonly used, and the couple may prefer a different approach.
Another option is to refer to the couple by their professional titles, such as Doctor or Professor, if they hold doctoral degrees or specific professional roles. Military ranks can also be used as a gender-neutral alternative, such as Captain or General. It is always best to consider the couple's preferences and ask how they would like to be addressed.
When addressing the card, the envelope can include the couple's first names, such as "Dear Ginny and Harry," or their married style, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Potter." If the couple's approach to last names is unknown, a simple workaround is to address the envelope to "The Newlyweds."
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Address the card to both the bride and groom
When addressing a wedding card to the bride and groom, it is important to consider your relationship with the couple and the dynamic of the couple themselves. For example, if the bride is retaining her surname, you may want to address them as "Mr. and Dr. Smith" or "Mr. Smith and Dr. Jones". Alternatively, you could use "The Smiths" if they are sharing a surname.
If you are close with the couple, you may want to write a more personal message, perhaps including a memory of the couple. This could be a recollection of how your friend discussed their partner after their first date or when you were first introduced to them. However, if you do not know the couple very well, it is best to stick to a more traditional greeting. For example, "Dear [Couple's Names]" is universally accepted, and you can follow it with either a formal or informal greeting depending on the couple. Some examples of formal greetings include "Best wishes" or "Congratulations", whereas an informal greeting could be "I'm so happy for you".
If the wedding is a formal affair, a more respectful and dignified greeting is likely more appropriate. However, if the couple is known for being lighthearted and fun-loving, you may want to include a limerick or a drawing in your card. Ultimately, the content of the card should be relevant to both the bride and groom, and you should consider what the couple might like.
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Include a personal joke or memory
If you're close with the couple, it's a good idea to make the card more personal. You could include a joke or a playful remark about their relationship or adventures together. For example, "You've finally found someone who understands your weird jokes. Hold onto them forever!".
Alternatively, you could share a memory that you have of the couple, such as recounting how one partner discussed their significant other after their first date or when you were first introduced to them. You could say something like, "I knew this was real when he got your Elephant-Ant joke!".
You could also include a funny observation about marriage, such as, "Marriage is grand, and divorce? Well, that's at least 10 grand. Here's to a lifetime of savings and love!". Or, "Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together – problems that never existed before you were married. But since you've picked your problems, let's celebrate!".
If you're feeling particularly playful, you could even include a cheeky remark about the couple's personalities, such as, "Well done on finding that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your lives!". However, it's important to keep the humour light and ensure that it resonates with the recipients. Avoid jokes that could be considered sarcastic, insulting, or hinting at divorce.
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Sign off with something heartfelt, e.g. 'Wishing you a lifetime of happiness'
When signing off a wedding card, it's important to keep your message heartfelt and positive. Here are some examples of how to sign off with something heartfelt:
- "Wishing you a lifetime of happiness"
- "With all our best wishes on your big day"
- "Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness. Your wedding day will come and go, but may your love forever grow"
- "Congratulations on your wedding day! Wishing you a lifetime of health and happiness"
- "May your marriage be filled with success and happiness"
- "May you live happily ever after"
- "Wishing you endless love and happiness"
If you're sending the card before the wedding, you can wish the couple luck and express your disappointment at not being able to attend. For cards sent after the wedding, include heartfelt congratulations and good wishes.
Feel free to adapt these messages to match your relationship with the couple. For example, if you're writing to a colleague, you could say:
"As colleagues, we've shared many moments together, and now we celebrate this beautiful milestone in your life. Here's to a future filled with love and happiness. Congratulations on your wedding!"
Remember, the most important thing is to write from the heart and capture the tone of their love and excitement for their special day.
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Frequently asked questions
You can either use the man’s full name and refer to them as Mr. & Mrs. [Last Name], or include both first names with the male’s name coming first, e.g. Mr. Mario & Mrs. Jill Bryant.
List the person you're closest with first. If you're equally close with both, go in alphabetical order. For example, Dr. Jill Lucento and Mr. James Hersch.
Both names should be included on the envelope. If you’re opting for the formal option, each name should get its own line. If you’re opting for something more casual, the names can go on the same line without the last names included.
You can still send a wedding card to the couple in advance or afterward. For cards sent in advance, use an unmarried joint form of address, e.g. Mr. H Potter and Ms. G Weasley. For cards sent after the wedding, use their married style if names have been changed, e.g. Mr. and Mrs. Potter.
