Responding To Wedding Invites: Your Step-By-Step Guide

Weddings are a joyous occasion, and receiving an invitation is a pleasure. However, it's important to know how to respond to a wedding invitation promptly and appropriately. In this guide, we'll cover everything you need to know about accepting a wedding invitation with grace and etiquette. From understanding the importance of a timely response to navigating different response formats, we'll ensure you're well-prepared to celebrate the happy couple. So, let's dive into the world of wedding invitation etiquette and explore the art of accepting with style!

How to respond to a wedding invitation in writing

When responding to a wedding invitation in writing, it's important to consider the formality of the invitation and your relationship with the couple. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft an appropriate response:

Respond Promptly

It is considered good etiquette to respond to a wedding invitation promptly. This allows the couple to finalise their guest list, create a seating plan, and confirm their budget. If you are unable to attend, letting the couple know as soon as possible gives them the opportunity to invite someone else in your place.

Written Responses

If the invitation includes an RSVP card, follow the instructions provided. If no response card is included, you can reply in writing or by email. Written responses are typically formal and follow the wording of the invitation. Here is an example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for [date].

Personal Notes

If you know the hosts well, a personal note is more appropriate. Keep the message brief but sincere. Here is an example:

> Dear [Couple's Names], [Partner's Name] and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend [Bride and Groom's Names] wedding on [date]. Yours sincerely, [Your Name]

Informal Responses

For an informal response, you can be more flexible with the wording while still maintaining a respectful tone. Here is an example:

> Thank you for your invitation, we will both be happily attending! Looking forward to it. Love, [Your Names]

Dietary Requirements and Plus-One Requests

When responding, be mindful of any additional information the couple may need, such as dietary restrictions or plus-one requests. Only bring a plus one if the invitation specifically states "and Guest" or "+1". If you are unsure, it is best to clarify with the couple rather than assuming.

Handwritten Responses

While not necessary, a handwritten response can be a thoughtful way to express your excitement for the couple's big day. It adds a personal touch and shows your enthusiasm for the occasion.

How to fill out an RSVP card

Filling out an RSVP card is a formal process, so it's important to follow the correct etiquette. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to fill out an RSVP card:

Step 1: Check Who Is Invited

Before responding, check the invitation envelope to confirm who has been invited to the wedding. If the card includes a "+1", then you are welcome to bring a guest. If the card is addressed to "The Thompson Family", then your immediate family is invited. If there is no "+1" or similar, assume that only the people listed on the envelope are invited.

Step 2: Write the Full Names of Each Attending Guest

On the RSVP card, there will usually be a line starting with "M" where you can write the full names of each guest who will be attending. The "M" stands for the first letter of the titles Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. Write something like "Mr. Joe Smith and Mrs. Jenny Smith". Only write the names of those attending.

Step 3: Indicate the Number of Guests Attending

Write the number of guests who will be attending. If only one person was invited, you may be able to fill this in with a tick or a cross. This lets the hosts know how much food to order and how many seats to prepare.

Step 4: Indicate Your Food Choices

If there are food options, put your initials next to your choice. This helps the hosts to know which guest has chosen which meal.

Step 5: Write a Letter of Congratulations

If the card is blank, write a short note congratulating the couple and letting them know who will be attending. For example, "Joe and Charlotte Shivers kindly accept the invitation to attend Marsha and Greg's wedding on May 24th." If you can't attend, you could write, "Unfortunately, Joe and Charlotte Shivers are unable to attend, but we wish you both the best."

Step 6: Send the Card Back

Even if you can't attend, it's important to send the RSVP card back to the hosts. This helps them to plan the number of seats and amount of food required. Send the card back before the deadline, ideally a week or two in advance.

Step 7: Write Legibly

Use your best handwriting so that the hosts can easily read your response. Print may be easier to read than cursive.

Step 8: Don't Respond by Phone or Email

It is considered rude to respond by phone or email if you have received an RSVP card in the mail. The hosts have likely spent money on the cards and would prefer a written response.

How to RSVP to a digital invitation

Receiving a digital invitation is exciting, and responding to one is straightforward. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to RSVP to a digital invitation:

• Read the Invitation Carefully: Take note of the important details such as the date, time, and location of the event. Also, look for any specific instructions or requests from the host, like dress codes or RSVP deadlines. Understanding the details will ensure you can respond appropriately.
• Check Your Availability: Before responding, confirm your availability for the event date and time. Ensure you are genuinely available and willing to attend. It is essential to respect the host's time and planning efforts by providing a prompt and accurate response.
• Respond Promptly: Most digital invitations offer a simple and quick way to RSVP. Look for buttons or links that say "Accept" or "Decline." Depending on the platform, you may need to click on a button to indicate your response and then confirm your selection. Responding promptly is courteous and helps the host with their planning.
• Follow Up if Needed: In some cases, you may need to follow up with additional information. For example, if the invitation asks for your meal preference or other details, be sure to provide that information along with your RSVP. You can also use the opportunity to send a brief message to the host expressing your excitement about the event or congratulating them if it is a special occasion.
• Keep Track of the Event: After RSVPing, make sure to add the event to your calendar. Digital calendars can be helpful for setting reminders so you don't forget about the occasion. It is also a good idea to keep the digital invitation easily accessible for future reference, especially if you need to confirm the details closer to the event date.
• Update Your Response if Necessary: Life happens, and plans can change. If your availability changes after you've RSVPed, be sure to update your response as soon as possible. Most digital platforms will allow you to change your RSVP if needed. Informing the host promptly of any changes helps them adjust their plans accordingly.

Remember, responding to a digital invitation is about more than just clicking a button. It is about respecting the host's time and efforts in organising the event. A timely and thoughtful RSVP is always appreciated.

How to respond to a wedding invitation informally

Being invited to a wedding is an honour, no matter how formal or informal the event will be. It's important to respond promptly to any wedding invitation, to let the happy couple know whether you will be able to celebrate with them.

If you're responding informally, it's a good idea to mention something about the ceremony you're looking forward to, or reference an inside joke. You can be as familiar as you like with the couple, but it's still important to be enthusiastic and genuine. Here are some examples of how to respond to an informal wedding invitation:

• "Hi guys! So excited for your special day! Of course, we'll be there! Can't wait to see Claire walk down the aisle to the man of her dreams. See you on Friday for a celebratory drink. Big hug, Samantha and Alyssa."
• "Dear Sara and Henry, congratulations on this exciting milestone! We always knew you two were meant to be. Can't wait to see you make it official. We will absolutely be there on March 2nd. Love, your biggest supporters from day 1, Ian and Alana."
• "Well, well, well! So very happy to get this in the post this morning. What a beautiful invitation from two beautiful people. Can't wait to celebrate this special milestone with you."
• "Our two favourite people are getting hitched! And of course, we'll be there. So happy for you and can't wait to have an absolute blast on August 10th. Hugs from all of us in Seattle."
• "I could have sworn you guys were already married. Just kidding, can't wait! Mary and I will be there on Sunday, March 8th.
• "You two!!! The fact that you even think you have to ask me is mildly offensive. Is there any world in which I wouldn't come?! Can't wait to watch you try on dresses, Julia. See you soon! My ride or die, I'll be by your side."

If the invitation includes an RSVP but no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. Be sure to include the number of people in your party so that the couple can make seating arrangements.

What to do if you can't attend

It is important to respond promptly to a wedding invitation, especially if you cannot attend. Here are some steps to take if you are unable to attend a wedding you have been invited to:

• Respond as soon as possible: Check your calendar, finalise your plans, and send back the reply card as soon as possible. It is important not to delay your response, as the couple needs to provide final numbers to the caterer and other vendors.
• Inform the couple: Let the couple know as soon as you know you cannot attend. This is important, as it allows them to adjust their plans and potentially invite someone else in your place. A phone call is often the best way to reach out, as it feels more personal than a text or email.
• Provide a meaningful excuse: While you don't need to go into great detail, it is considerate to provide a valid reason for your absence. Illness, travel disruptions due to weather, or other major circumstances are acceptable reasons for not attending. Be respectful and sincere when explaining your situation.
• Express your regrets: It is thoughtful to express your disappointment at not being able to attend and to wish the couple well. You can include this in your response card, or send a separate note or gift to show your well wishes.
• Consider a gift: Sending a wedding gift, even if you cannot attend, is a thoughtful way to show your support for the couple. It is not expected, but it can be a nice gesture, especially if you are close to the couple.
• Avoid last-minute cancellations: If something comes up at the last minute and you cannot attend, it is best to contact the wedding planner, a close friend, or another member of the wedding party rather than the couple themselves. This allows them to make any necessary adjustments without adding stress to their big day.

• "Thank you so much for the invitation. Unfortunately, I have prior commitments and won't be able to attend. I wish you both all the best and hope you have a wonderful day."
• "I am so honoured that you wanted to include me in your special day. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it, but I will be thinking of you and celebrating from afar."
• "I am so sorry to miss your wedding, but I have a prior engagement that I cannot get out of. I hope you understand, and I look forward to catching up and hearing all about it afterward."

Frequently asked questions