Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding RSVPs are an important part of the wedding planning process, helping to finalise the guest list, seating chart, and catering numbers. The wording of the RSVP should ideally match the style of the wedding invitations and set the tone for the event. For formal weddings, the wording should be traditional and elegant, while for informal weddings, the wording can be more relaxed and creative. It is important to include a clear deadline for responses, typically around four weeks before the wedding, and to provide a space for guests to write their names and any dietary restrictions or meal preferences. Couples may also choose to include an online RSVP option in addition to physical cards.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Tone | Formal or informal, depending on the style of the wedding |
| Format | Physical card or online |
| Wording | Clear and straightforward, with creative or fun wording to match the tone |
| Response options | Straightforward, limited to two "yes" or "no" style answers, with space for names, number of guests, meal choices, and any other requests |
| Deadline | Clear and prominent, typically 3-6 weeks before the wedding |
| Address | Include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope, or a digital response option |
| Tracking | Assign each card a number to track responses from guests |
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What You'll Learn
Tone and style
The tone and style of your wedding RSVP wording should ideally match the style of your wedding invitations and the wedding itself. Whether your wedding is traditional, formal, or informal, you can adapt your RSVP wording accordingly.
For instance, if you are having a formal wedding, your RSVP card wording should be formal and elegant, mirroring the formal wording on your wedding invitations. This will set the tone for your day, and your guests will recognise that your day will be a more formal occasion. For example, you could say, "Kindly reply by [date]".
On the other hand, if your wedding has a relaxed, informal atmosphere—whether it’s a beach wedding, backyard celebration, or boho-style event—your RSVP wording can be more casual and laid-back. Simple, warm, and inviting language will feel fitting for a more intimate, cosy day. For instance, you could say, "We’re excited to celebrate with you! Let us know if you’re coming by [date]".
You can also add a creative, fun, or humorous twist to your RSVP wording to match the tone of your wedding. For example, guests could select from options such as "Will be there with bells on" or "Will be there free of bells".
It's important to use straightforward language to avoid any ambiguity and set clear expectations. Make the response options straightforward and limit them to just two “yes” or “no” style answers. Be sure to include a clear RSVP deadline, and consider including an online RSVP option in addition to physical cards.
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Names and numbers
When it comes to names and numbers, there are a few things to consider for your wedding RSVP cards. Firstly, it is important to ensure that your guests know exactly how many seats have been reserved for them. This can be done by including a line such as "We have reserved ____ amount of seats in your honour". This helps to avoid any misunderstandings about plus-ones or additional guests.
Secondly, you may want to consider pre-filling the names of the invited guests on the RSVP cards. This guarantees that you know who is attending and how to spell their names correctly for the seating chart. It also makes it clear who is invited, especially if you have a large family or group of friends attending. You can write the names yourself, ask a friend with good handwriting, or print labels with the names to stick on the cards.
Another option is to have guests write in their names. This is one of the three required pieces of information guests are responsible for providing, according to Fallon Carter, the founder and creative director of Fallon Carter Events. Guests should also indicate how many seats they will be using and whether they accept or decline the invitation. Some couples may also request guests' meal preferences or dietary restrictions.
If you choose to have guests write their names, it is important to include a clear line or space for them to do so. You can simply have a line that starts with "Name(s) of those attending:" or "M _____________". To ensure you can follow up with any guests who forget to write their names, you can also number the RSVP cards on the back.
Finally, don't forget to set a deadline for RSVPs, typically around three to six weeks before the wedding. This will help you finalise the guest list, catering, and seating arrangements.
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Deadlines
It is important to set an RSVP deadline and stick to it. The deadline should be featured in a prominent place on the card where it won't be overlooked by guests. The deadline is usually around three to four weeks before the wedding, giving you enough time to finalise the guest list and seating chart, and share the final guest count with your caterer, venue and other vendors.
If you are having a destination wedding, you should ask guests to RSVP at least four to six weeks before the wedding. This will give you plenty of buffer time to make sure every guest is accounted for, as well as to plan pre- and post-wedding events.
If you are sending digital RSVPs, you can shorten the deadline to two to three weeks, but still give guests enough time to respond.
It is recommended to remind guests to RSVP a week or so before the deadline so they don't forget. You can also send guests a quick wedding RSVP reminder the week before they're actually due or add a note to your wedding website.
Once you hit your wedding RSVP deadline, you may still find that some guests have not responded. It is appropriate to send them a quick note or give them a call to ask if they are attending.
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Meal choices
When it comes to meal choices, it's important to consider the food service style of your wedding. If you're having a plated dinner with multiple entrée options, collecting meal choices with RSVPs is crucial, as the caterer needs these details to prepare and serve efficiently. On the other hand, if you're having a buffet, family-style meal, or plated dinner with the same dish for everyone, guests can usually choose their entrée when they go through the line.
- Provide Clear Options: List the meal options clearly on the RSVP card, allowing guests to circle or select their preference. For example, you can offer choices such as "Steak, Chicken, or Fish" or be more specific with options like "Barbequed Pot Roast, Chicken Marsala, or Butternut Squash Ravioli".
- Consider Dietary Restrictions: Include a note on the RSVP card for guests to indicate any specific dietary restrictions or allergies. You can also suggest that they contact the wedding organizer directly for more detailed discussions about their dietary needs.
- Online RSVP Forms: If you're using an online RSVP system or wedding website, you can provide more detailed meal choice options. This is especially useful if you want guests to select their preferences for multiple courses, such as starters, mains, and desserts.
- Seating Chart Consideration: Consider asking guests to initial their meal choices. This can be helpful for creating a seating chart and ensuring the venue serves the correct meal to each guest.
- Kids' Meals: Don't forget to include meal options for children if they will be attending. You can offer kid-friendly choices like "Chicken Fingers and French Fries" or simply indicate "Kids' Meal".
- Vegetarian/Vegan Options: Be mindful of how you present vegetarian or vegan options. Some venues may surcharge for these options if ordered by many guests. You can indicate "Vegetarian Option Available Upon Request" or ask guests to specify their dietary preferences in a designated section.
Remember, the key is to provide enough information for guests to make informed choices while also gathering the details your caterer needs to prepare accordingly.
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Response options
The response options on your wedding RSVP card can be formal, informal, or creative, depending on the style of your wedding.
If you're having a traditional, formal wedding, your RSVP card wording should be formal and mirror the tone of your wedding invitations. You can use phrases like "Kindly reply by [date]", "Please respond by [date]", or "The favour of your reply is requested by [date]". You can also add a gentle reminder about the importance of receiving responses promptly, such as "Please let us know before [date] to help us finalise our plans".
For a more relaxed, informal wedding, your RSVP card wording can be casual and fun. You can use phrases like "We're excited to celebrate with you! Let us know if you're coming by [date]", or "Please watch us tie the knot. RSVP by [date]". You can offer fun response options like "Will be there with bells on" or "Will be there free of bells".
Regardless of the style, it's important to include clear response options that are easy for your guests to understand. Limit the responses to "yes" or "no" style answers, or provide checkboxes for guests to indicate their decision. You can also include a line for guests to write in the number of people attending and their names, ensuring you know exactly who's coming and how to spell their names for the seating chart.
If you're offering multiple meal options, give your guests a chance to select their preferences. This helps with catering and ensures you don't run out of any dish. You can also include a space for any special requests or dietary restrictions to accommodate everyone.
Finally, consider including an online RSVP option in addition to physical cards. Provide your wedding website link or email address on the invitation, and ensure the response card envelope is addressed to the person handling the guest list.
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Frequently asked questions
The key things to include in a wedding RSVP are:
- A deadline for the RSVP, typically 3-4 weeks before the wedding.
- A line for guests to write their names.
- The number of guests attending, especially if you want to limit the number of guests.
- Meal choices, if you're offering multiple options.
- Space for any special requests or dietary restrictions.
The wording of your wedding RSVP should match the style of your wedding. For a formal wedding, keep the wording elegant and timeless. For instance, "Kindly reply by [date]". For a more informal wedding, you can use casual phrasing like, "We're excited to celebrate with you! Let us know if you're coming by [date]".
Here are some fun and creative ways to word your wedding RSVP:
- "Will be there with bells on" / "Will be there free of bells".
- "Yes! Counting the waves" / "Sorry, we're in over our heads!".
- "I can't wait to celebrate it!" / "Sad to miss the fun!".
