Muslim Wedding Traditions Explained

Muslim weddings are steeped in tradition and ritual, with celebrations informed by centuries-old customs. While there are differences in how Muslim weddings are carried out around the world, there are some commonalities. Here is an overview of how Muslim weddings happen, from pre-wedding rituals to the marriage ceremony and post-wedding celebrations.

Pre-Wedding Rituals

Before the wedding, there is the Khitbah or talking stage, where both parties get to know each other. If things progress, the couple enters the committed stage, similar to an engagement. There are several rituals that take place before the wedding, including:

- Salat al-Istikhara: A prayer to Allah for guidance and blessings, marking the official notification of the marriage to the community.

- Imam Zamin: A visit from the groom's mother to the bride's home, bearing gifts, sweets, and a gold or silver coin, symbolising the bride's acceptance into her new family.

- Mangni: The ring ceremony and public declaration of the union, where both families exchange gifts.

- Manjha: A Haldi ceremony where turmeric paste is applied to the bride's and groom's bodies, symbolising a peaceful and happy new beginning.

- Heena/Mehndi: Women adorn the bride's hands and feet with henna paste, and the groom's initials are hidden within the design for him to find later.

- Sanchaq: The groom's family visits the bride's family, bringing gifts, including the bridal outfit and accessories.

The Wedding Ceremony

The wedding ceremony, or Nikah, is the most important stage, marking the point where the couple becomes husband and wife. The ceremony usually takes place in a mosque and involves the groom presenting a Mahr or dowry to the bride. The Imam officiates the ceremony, reciting verses from the Quran and asking the couple for their consent. The bride and groom each say Qubool Hai or I accept three times, followed by the signing of the marriage contract.

Post-Wedding Rituals

After the wedding, there is the Zifaf, where the couple consummates the marriage. This is followed by the Walima, a wedding reception banquet hosted and paid for by the groom's family. The newlyweds are treated like royalty and showered with gifts and blessings. The final ritual is the Rukhsat, where the bride bids farewell to her family and leaves with the groom to their new home.

Pre-wedding rituals: prayers to Allah, gifts and sweets exchanged, and a ring ceremony

Pre-wedding rituals in Muslim weddings are colourful and scintillating, and they vary across different cultures. One of the pre-wedding rituals common in Indian Muslim weddings is Salatul Ishtikara, where the Imam performs a prayer to seek Allah's blessings for the marriage. This ritual is an official announcement of the union.

Following this, the groom's mother visits the bride's home, bringing gifts, sweets, and an ominous gold or silver coin wrapped in a silk scarf. This gift is tied around the wrist of the bride, marking her formal welcome and acceptance into the groom's family.

The Mangni, or engagement, is another pre-wedding ritual where close friends and relatives gather to witness the exchanging of rings. Both families shower each other with gifts, and this is when the betrothal is publicly declared.

The Manjha is the equivalent of the Haldi ceremony, where the bride and groom wear yellow clothing and are smeared with a paste of turmeric, sandalwood, and rosewater in their respective homes. They are then bathed in holy water and remain in their homes until the wedding day.

The Mehendi ceremony is also an important ritual, where the bride's female friends and family gather, and a professional or talented relative applies beautiful Mehendi designs on the bride's hands and feet. The groom's initials are hidden in the design for him to find on the wedding night.

The last pre-wedding ritual is when the male members of the groom's family visit the bride's family with gifts, including sweets, a bridal outfit, and jewellery. This signifies the blessing, affection, and support of the male members of the bride's new family.

Prayer, or Dua, is an integral part of the wedding rituals, with specific prayers and blessings being invoked to seek Allah's grace. The Prophet Muhammad emphasised the importance of making Dua for all matters, and marriage is considered an auspicious moment to invoke Allah's blessings.

Wedding rituals: the groom's procession, the nikah ceremony, and consent from both parties

The groom's procession, or baraat, is a loud and splendid affair, declaring that the wedding will take place in a few hours. The groom travels in a beautifully decorated car, escorted by his relatives and friends, to the wedding venue, where he is received by the bride's family. He is served a cool drink in the company of the bride's brother or closest male relative, and they spray him with rosewater or ittar.

The nikah ceremony is the official religious wedding, where the couple becomes husband and wife. It is overseen by an Imam, a Qazi, or any Muslim with a deep understanding of Islamic traditions. The ceremony involves the groom, the bride, one male relative of the bride, two Muslim witnesses, and the officiant. The Imam begins with a short sermon, then recites three verses from the Quran and one hadith. The bride and groom then give their consent by responding "Qubool" ("I accept") three times. This is followed by the signing of a marriage contract.

Consent from both parties is essential in Islamic marriages. The groom's family must offer the Mehr to the bride to seek her consent. The bride's consent is also required for the marriage contract, which is often signed by her. The wali, or guardian, of the bride, who is usually her father, may give her away. However, her silence is considered consent. Forced marriages are against Islamic teachings.

Post-wedding rituals: the couple seeing each other, a grand banquet, and the bride's farewell

After the Nikah, the official religious wedding, the couple finally sees each other, often through a mirror kept between them. This ritual is known as Arsi Mushaf, where "arsi" means "mirror" and "mushaf" means the "Holy Quran". The couple holds up the Quran and a mirror to view their reflections as husband and wife for the first time.

The bride and groom then make their grand exit from the wedding to their new home as newlyweds. This is known as the Rukhsati or Rukhsat. The couple is followed by wedding guests in their own cars, honking and yelling in celebration.

The Walima, or Walimah, is a grand banquet or reception hosted by the groom's family. It may take place at a banquet hall or other large venue, and it is organized and paid for by the groom's side. The poor are invited to eat at the banquet, and scholars recommend that excess extravagance is avoided. The Walima may include speeches, sermons, prayers, and poetry. It is customary to publicize knowledge of the Walima to the community, but in a respectful manner.

The bride's farewell, known as rukhsati, concludes the entire wedding celebration. This is when guests gather to bid farewell to the newly married couple and is an emotional moment for the bride, as she traditionally leaves her childhood home to live with her new husband.

Clothing and attire: modest dress, with the groom wearing a turban, and the bride a saree or lehenga

Islamic weddings are often vibrant and colourful celebrations, with guests expected to dress modestly and traditionally. The Nikah is the main ritual in a Muslim wedding, and the Islamic wedding fashion is known for its grandeur.

Muslim brides usually wear long dresses with a head covering. This could be a colour-coded scarf, resembling a hijab, or a dupatta. The dresses are often embellished, with stone-work, thread work, sequin embroidery, and usually come in light muted colours or deep bright colours.

Some popular styles include:

• Kurti with Mughal Lehenga
• Long Choli with Lehenga
• Kameez with Ghararas
• Light Embroidered Kameez with Sharara
• Bridal Dress with Dupatta
• Red Double Dupatta Style Kurti Lehenga
• Heavily Embroidered Sharara
• White Bridal Dress

Bengali Muslim brides wear sarees for their wedding, covering their heads with a hijab. The lehenga has also become popular for Muslim brides in India, with Bollywood increasing its popularity.

Muslim grooms usually wear a kurta with pajama or churidar, often with embroidery. However, many grooms now prefer to wear a sherwani, or a kurta-jodhpur. Grooms also wear jewellery, such as necklaces, bracelets, and rings, and may wear a turban.

Food and drink: a halal menu, with sweets, perfumes, and a sweet drink called sherbet

Food and drink are an important part of Muslim wedding celebrations, with the menu being largely dictated by the culture of those involved. As alcohol is forbidden in Islam, the traditional drink served at Muslim weddings is sherbet, a combination of fruit juices, flower petals, and herbs, mixed with water and sugar.

Sherbet is often served during the walimah, the celebration following the wedding, which can be very large and festive depending on the culture. The groom is responsible for funding this celebration, which may include huge parties with large meals, dancing, and music that last multiple days. The types of food served at the walimah vary, but it is usually a local fare. In Bangladesh, for example, the bride and groom drink borhani, a spicy yogurt, while in India, the bride's mother gives her candies or sweet desserts before her unveiling ceremony.

Sherbet is a popular drink in Muslim countries, especially during Ramadan, and is commonly consumed to break the fast. It is believed to have originated in Iran (Persia) and is typically made with cane juice, sugar, and water, although modern variations include the addition of honey and lime. It is usually served chilled, either diluted with water to create a drink, or in a concentrated form to be eaten with a spoon.

There are countless variations of sherbet, with different recipes depending on the region and the occasion. In India and Afghanistan, for instance, the bride's family offers gul sherbet to the groom's family after they have presented their gifts. This is a rose sherbet made with rose petals, lemon juice, and sugar. In Turkey, sherbet is often made with fruits like plums, cherries, and spices, and is served in crystal bowls or tall cut glasses, sometimes garnished with gilt flowers and ice cubes or snow.

In addition to the food and drink served at the walimah, there are also pre-wedding rituals involving the exchange of gifts and sweets between the families of the bride and groom. During the sanchaq ritual, the groom's family visits the bride's home, bringing gifts of sweets, fruits, bridal outfits, jewellery, perfumes, cosmetics, and toiletries.

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