Deborah Chan
Planning a wedding is a stressful task, and one of the most important aspects is knowing how many guests will be in attendance. It can be frustrating when guests don't respond to your invitations by the RSVP deadline, but it's important to remember that people have busy lives and sometimes forget to respond. To ensure you get a timely response, it is recommended to send a polite reminder to your guests about a week before the RSVP deadline. If you still haven't heard back from some guests after the deadline has passed, it is appropriate to send a second reminder a week later. This can be done via phone call, text, or email, and it's best to personalise each message to avoid causing any embarrassment.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of RSVP reminders to send | 1-2 |
| When to send the first reminder | One week before the RSVP deadline |
| When to send the second reminder | One week after the RSVP deadline |
| How to send the reminders | Phone call, text, email, or in person |
| What to include in the reminders | RSVP deadline, how to RSVP, and any other relevant details |
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What You'll Learn
When to send RSVP reminders
It is important to set an RSVP deadline and stick to it. Wedding RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding, and absolutely no later than two weeks before the big day. The sweet spot for your RSVP due date is around three to four weeks before the wedding—this gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and figure out who (if anyone) hasn't responded yet.
If you are collecting RSVPs online through a wedding website, expect to receive guest responses quicker than through the mail. It is a good idea to send a “please RSVP” message about one week before the deadline and, if needed, a second note one week after the deadline. You can also send guests a quick wedding RSVP reminder the week before they're actually due or add a note to your wedding website.
If your wedding RSVP deadline has passed, wait about one week before sending follow-ups to guests who haven't responded yet. It is best to give your guests a call, and remember that it might feel a bit awkward or tense. A phone call is personal, and the guest can hear the friendly tone of your voice. If you are in a bind, you can also draft an email or text to send over.
If you are sending a reminder, here is some wording you could use:
> "Hi! We noticed you haven't RSVP'd to our wedding and our RSVP deadline was [date]. Could you please let me know if you're planning on coming by [date]? We need final numbers for catering purposes. If I don't hear from you by [date], I will mark you down as not attending. Hope to see you soon!"
If you are reminding guests to submit their meal preferences, you could say:
> "Since I haven't heard from you, I've put you down for a hot dog; if you want the filet mignon, let me know by [date]!"
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How to send reminders (e.g. phone, email, text)
When it comes to sending RSVP reminders, there are a few different approaches you can take, depending on your relationship with the guest and your preferred method of communication. Here are some suggestions for how to send reminders via phone, email, and text:
Phone Calls
Calling guests over the phone is a great way to send RSVP reminders. It allows you to have a personal conversation and ensure your tone of voice is friendly. It's a good idea to make these calls with your partner, dividing and conquering by each calling your respective friends and family members. When you call, avoid jumping straight into asking about the RSVP. Instead, start by catching up and asking how they are doing. Then, gently lead into the topic of the RSVP, reminding them of the deadline and asking if they plan to attend. This approach can help to avoid any potential misinterpretation of your request as aggressive or insistent.
Emails
Email reminders are another option, especially if you are using a wedding website with email communication features. You can send individual emails to guests who have not yet responded, politely reminding them of the RSVP deadline and requesting their confirmation. If you prefer, you can also send a mass email to all invitees, reminding them of the upcoming deadline. This approach may be less time-consuming if you have a large guest list.
Texts
Sending text message reminders is a quick and direct way to follow up on RSVPs. You can send individual texts to guests who haven't responded, politely asking for their confirmation. Similar to phone calls, it's a good idea to send these texts only to guests with whom you have a close relationship. You can also use automated text reminder services, which will send reminders to all guests with a simple message like "Please RSVP to our wedding!"
Regardless of the method you choose, it is generally recommended to wait until after the RSVP deadline has passed before sending reminders. This gives your guests the opportunity to respond without feeling pressured, and it also allows you to see who has already responded and who may need a gentle nudge. Sending a reminder about one week before the deadline is also an option, especially if you have a long RSVP period or if you want to give your guests a friendly nudge before the due date.
Remember to keep your reminders polite and friendly, and understand that your guests may have busy lives or other commitments that have caused them to forget or delay their response.
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What to say when reminding guests
It is generally advised to wait until the RSVP deadline has passed before sending reminders. This is to avoid irritating your guests, as many of them might simply be procrastinating. However, if the deadline is approaching, you could send a gentle reminder to your guests a week before the due date.
Phone Calls
A phone call is a personal way to remind your guests as they can hear the friendly tone of your voice. It is also less likely to be misinterpreted as aggressive or insincere. When calling, it is best to avoid jumping straight into asking for an RSVP. Instead, you could ask how they are doing and then lead into the RSVP conversation.
Emails or Texts
If you are not comfortable with phone calls, you can send a polite email or text message to your guests. It is best to avoid sending a group message or creating a group chat to avoid embarrassing those who have not responded. Here is a template you could use:
> "Hey [Guest name], just making sure you received our invitation (a couple didn’t make it we’ve learned…) and wanted to see if you’re able to make it to our special day!? The big day is a few weeks out, and we would love to have you there. We just need a quick response so we can get a proper headcount for the caterers."
In Person
If your guests are close family members or friends whom you see regularly, you could remind them to RSVP in person. If you are collecting paper RSVPs, bring an extra response card with you, so you can write down their response and add it to your guest list later.
Wedding Website or Online Invitations
If you are collecting RSVPs through a wedding website or online invitations, you can use the "follow-up" feature to send reminders to guests who have not yet replied. You can also add the RSVP date on the front page of your wedding website, along with instructions, to gently remind your guests.
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Tracking responses
Create an Organised Guest List
Before sending reminders, it's crucial to know who has already responded and who hasn't. Create a comprehensive guest list that includes columns for names, responses, and any other relevant information, such as meal preferences or accommodation plans. Update this list as responses come in to keep track of who has responded and who still needs to be reminded.
Set an RSVP Deadline
Most wedding RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding, with a deadline no later than two weeks before the big day. Setting this deadline in advance will help you organise your final guest list and identify non-responders. Be sure to clearly state this deadline on your invitations and wedding website.
Utilise Online Tools
If you're collecting RSVPs through a wedding website or online invitation, take advantage of the available tools. Many websites offer features like guest list managers, automatic response updates, and the ability to filter guests by their RSVP status. These tools can make tracking responses much easier and help you identify non-responders quickly.
Send Reminders at Strategic Times
While it's generally recommended to wait until after the RSVP deadline to send reminders, you can send a friendly pre-deadline reminder to prompt guests gently. Send this reminder about one week before the deadline. After the deadline, wait about a week before sending follow-ups to non-responders. This gives guests who may have forgotten a chance to respond without feeling pressured.
Use Multiple Communication Channels
When sending reminders, consider using multiple channels, such as email, phone calls, or text messages. Phone calls are particularly effective as they are personal and allow guests to hear your friendly tone. However, be mindful of potential misinterpretation via text messages, as these may be perceived as aggressive or insincere.
Split the Task with Your Partner
Reminding guests to RSVP can be a team effort. Divide and conquer by assigning each partner to call their friends and family. This not only makes the task more manageable but also adds a personal touch to the reminders.
Remember, tracking responses is an essential step in finalising your wedding plans. By staying organised and proactive, you can efficiently identify non-responders and ensure you have an accurate guest count for your big day.
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Collecting RSVPs (online, paper, etc.)
There are several ways to collect RSVPs from your wedding guests. The most traditional way is to include a paper RSVP card with your wedding invitation. Guests can fill out the card and send it back to you via mail. This method can be time-consuming and may result in lost invitations or RSVPs. Alternatively, you can choose to collect RSVPs online through a wedding website or digital invitation. This option often provides a faster response rate and can be more convenient for guests. It also allows you to include additional information, such as meal preferences or transportation details.
If you opt for online RSVPs, you can utilize the "follow-up" feature offered by some websites. This feature enables you to send reminders to guests who have not yet responded. You can also use email or text message reminders to gently nudge guests towards submitting their RSVPs. It is generally recommended to send a friendly reminder about one week before the RSVP deadline and, if needed, another reminder one week after the deadline.
When it comes to actually reminding your guests, it is considered polite to call friends and family to ask if they plan to attend. A phone call is a personal approach, allowing your guests to hear the friendly tone of your voice. This method can help avoid any potential misinterpretation of your request as aggressive or insistent. If you are uncomfortable making phone calls, you can also send a polite text message or email reminder.
To streamline the process, you can use tools such as The Knot Guest List Manager to keep track of both digital and paper RSVPs. This tool automatically updates response statuses and allows you to filter guests by their RSVP responses. Additionally, consider including multiple ways for guests to respond, such as providing a paper RSVP card and an online option through your wedding website.
Remember, it is essential to set an RSVP deadline and clearly communicate it on your invitations and wedding website. The sweet spot for the RSVP due date is typically around three to four weeks before the wedding, giving you enough time to finalize your guest list and follow up with any non-responders. By following these tips and utilizing the various tools available, you can efficiently collect RSVPs and focus on the more enjoyable aspects of planning your special day!
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended that you send one reminder about a week before the RSVP deadline and, if needed, a second reminder a week after the deadline. You can also send a reminder a few days before the deadline, especially if guests are asking about it. If you still haven't heard from people after the deadline, you can start reaching out individually.
It is considered polite to call your guests to ask if they plan to attend. This ensures your request won't be misinterpreted as aggressive or insincere. You can also send a friendly reminder text or email.
You can say something like: "Hi, we noticed you haven't RSVP'd to our wedding and our deadline was [date]. Could you please let me know if you're planning on coming by [date]? We need final numbers for catering purposes. If I don't hear from you by then, I will mark you down as not attending."
