Big Bucks For Big Days: Affording Extravagant Asian Weddings

Asian weddings are known for being lavish affairs, with fusion weddings that combine traditional Chinese elements with Western trends gaining popularity among younger individuals in the rising middle and wealthy classes. The cost of an average Asian wedding can run into the thousands, with expenses including expensive outfits, extravagant cars, and opulent decorations. In Chinese culture, the groom's family is traditionally expected to cover most of the wedding expenses, including rings, the ceremony, and the banquet. In contrast, American wedding traditions dictate that the bride's family bears the majority of the costs. With the pressure to host extravagant weddings, some families may struggle to keep up with the financial demands, leading to concerns about displaying wealth and maintaining cultural expectations.

The pressure to host a big wedding

There is a lot of pressure on couples to host big weddings, and this is often driven by social pressures and expectations. This is particularly true in Asian cultures, where weddings are seen as a significant milestone and a chance for families to come together and celebrate.

In Asian cultures, weddings are often seen as a display of wealth and status, with guests expecting lavish celebrations and extravagant details. This pressure to impress can be overwhelming for couples, who may feel the need to spend beyond their means to keep up with expectations.

One reason for the pressure to host a big wedding is the belief that a wedding should be a perfect day, with everything revolving around the bride and groom. This idea of a "fairytale wedding" can lead to couples feeling that they need to spend a lot of money to create a luxurious and memorable event.

Another factor is the influence of social media, which can create unrealistic expectations for couples. Social media platforms are filled with carefully curated images of weddings, showcasing expensive details and over-the-top celebrations. This can make couples feel that they need to spend more to keep up with the latest trends and create an "Instagram-worthy" wedding.

Additionally, there is often pressure from family and friends, who may have traditional expectations for a large wedding. In Asian cultures, it is common for extended family and friends to be invited, with guest lists reaching into the hundreds. This can create a lot of pressure on couples to host a grand celebration that accommodates everyone's wishes.

Finally, there is the desire to keep up with peers. Couples may feel pressured to host a big wedding to match or exceed the celebrations of their friends and family. This sense of competition can drive couples to spend more than they can afford, just to keep up appearances.

While hosting a big wedding can be exciting and memorable, it is important for couples to carefully consider their priorities and budget. By focusing on what is truly important to them and making thoughtful decisions, couples can host a meaningful celebration without breaking the bank.

The cost of wedding services

One of the biggest factors contributing to the high cost of Asian weddings is the number of guests invited. Asian weddings are traditionally large affairs, with guest lists upwards of 500 people. This requires a large event space and a grand venue, which can be incredibly expensive, especially in cities like London.

Another factor that drives up the cost is the number of events that take place before the wedding. Sikh, Hindu, and Muslim weddings typically include multiple days of celebrations before the actual wedding day, such as dinner parties, henna nights, and religious events. This means that couples need to budget for multiple venues, catering, and decorations.

The cost of catering and venue hire for an Asian wedding can be significant. In the UK, the average cost of venue hire for an Asian wedding is between £5,000 and £10,000. Catering costs can also be high, especially if the couple chooses to serve elaborate and diverse cuisines. External catering for Asian weddings in the UK typically costs between £15 and £20 per head.

The wedding dress is another significant expense, with dresses from specialist bridal suppliers costing over £3000. Couples may also choose to hire wedding planners, photographers, and other wedding services, which can add to the overall cost.

While the average cost of an Asian wedding is high, there is a range of prices depending on the couple's budget and preferences. Some couples may choose to have a more intimate wedding with fewer guests and simpler decorations, which can reduce the overall cost. Others may opt for a more extravagant affair with multiple-day festivities, lavish attire, and intricate ceremonies.

The influence of Western wedding traditions

Western wedding traditions have spread far and wide, with their influence reaching as far as China and Japan. In these countries, weddings are increasingly adopting Western customs, such as wearing white gowns and having a bridal party, while also incorporating traditional elements unique to their culture.

The appeal of Western-style weddings lies in their glamour and opulence. Couples are inspired by what they see in the media and on social media, and aspire to recreate these lavish celebrations for their own big day. This has given rise to a thriving wedding industry, with companies offering specialised services such as wedding planning, photography, and designer gowns.

The "white wedding" is a distinct feature of Western wedding traditions. The colour white is symbolic of the bride's purity and is a long-standing tradition that dates back to Queen Victoria's wedding in 1840. Western brides often wear white, off-white, or silver gowns, while guests are expected to refrain from wearing white to avoid upstaging the bride.

Another notable aspect of Western weddings is the emphasis on romantic gestures and symbols of love. Traditions such as throwing the bouquet, which symbolises the bride sharing her happiness and good luck, and the exchanging of rings, which represents eternal love and commitment, are integral parts of Western wedding ceremonies.

In addition to the colour white, Western weddings also incorporate other symbolic colours. For example, the tradition of "something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue" holds special meaning for the bride. The "old" represents her past, the "new" signifies a fresh start, the "borrowed" item serves as a reminder of her support system, and the "blue" symbolises purity.

Western weddings also tend to be more flexible and personalised. While they may include religious elements, they are often more focused on celebration and incorporate unique touches that hold special meaning for the couple. This choose-your-own-adventure approach allows couples to create a wedding that reflects their personalities and values.

The role of family in funding weddings

Family plays a significant role in funding weddings in Asian cultures. While wedding costs can be a financial burden for the couple, it is common for parents and extended family members to contribute to the expenses. This is especially true for cultures that traditionally hold lavish and extravagant weddings, such as those in India, China, and Singapore. In these cultures, weddings are seen as a time to showcase wealth and prosperity, which can put a strain on families to spend beyond their means.

In Chinese wedding culture, the groom's family is typically expected to cover most of the expenses, including the wedding rings, ceremony, and banquet. They are also responsible for sending betrothal gifts to the bride's family, such as golden jewellery, wine, and traditional wedding cakes. On the other hand, American wedding traditions dictate that the bride's family usually covers the majority of the costs. When it comes to Chinese-American weddings, couples may choose to blend both cultures or opt for a more modern approach by splitting the costs evenly between the two families.

In Indian culture, it is customary for guests to give cash or cheques as wedding gifts, with amounts typically ending in 1 to signify the couple's new journey together. Similarly, in Chinese weddings, guests are expected to give money in red envelopes, with the amount ranging from $1,000 to $2,000 to cover the cost of the banquet. This preference for cash gifts is also seen in Japanese, Korean, Thai, Indonesian, and Filipino weddings, where guests bring money in special envelopes to contribute to the couple's new life together.

While some families may be willing and able to spend lavishly on weddings, others may struggle financially. This can lead to a dilemma, especially for young couples who are more concerned about paying their bills than hosting an extravagant celebration. Despite the financial strain, many Asian families feel pressured to host grand weddings to uphold cultural traditions and show off to their relatives. This often results in borrowing money or going into debt to cover the costs. However, there is a growing sentiment that this obsession with perfection and extravagance needs to be re-evaluated, especially during difficult economic times.

The importance of showing off to relatives

Asian weddings are steeped in rich history and tradition, and they are often seen as a bonding of families rather than individuals. This is reflected in the various rituals and customs that are observed during the wedding celebrations. While each Asian wedding is unique, there are some common cultural elements that are important for showing off to relatives.

Firstly, the wedding day is typically chosen by a fortune teller, pandit (priest), or Feng Shui master, who selects an auspicious date based on the couple's birthdays and zodiac signs to bring happiness and success to the marriage. This showcases the couple's respect for tradition and their desire to start their married life on a positive note.

The wedding celebrations themselves offer multiple opportunities to impress relatives. One such occasion is the "Picking up the Bride" tradition, where the groom collects the bride from her family home. This custom has evolved from a large procession to more modern expressions, such as a procession of luxury cars or even a lion dance troupe. It symbolises the groom's determination to marry the bride and is often a lively and entertaining part of the wedding.

Another important tradition is the Tea Ceremony, where the couple shows respect and gratitude to their parents for their upbringing. During this ceremony, the couple kneels and serves tea to their parents, who are seated in elegant wooden chairs. This ritual is a way for the couple to honour their parents and seek their blessings, and it is usually held at the couple's home or the hotel where the wedding banquet will take place.

The wedding banquet is a grand affair, with a large number of guests, and it serves as an announcement of the couple's marriage to their community. The banquet includes multiple courses of symbolic and auspicious dishes, such as fish for abundance and roast suckling pig to signify the bride's purity. The banquet is also an opportunity for the couple to receive blessings from their guests.

Lastly, Asian weddings often involve symbolic traditions regarding the bride's dowry or betrothal gifts. For example, during the Tea Ceremony, the couple may receive red envelopes containing money or gold jewellery from their parents and other close relatives as a way to bless their union.

Overall, Asian weddings are a time to showcase cultural traditions, honour family bonds, and seek the blessings of relatives for a happy and prosperous married life.

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